Odd Thank you Note

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Hi, girls,

    I got a thank you note that was a bit strange, and I wonder if I should ask about it or let it go.

    I gave the bride a $50 gift certificate where they were registered, but the note said, "Thank you so much for coming to my shower," with no mention of the actual gift.

    Could she not know I gave it to her? Lost it in the shuffle? Or, maybe all her notes said the exact same thing. Does it matter with respect to me?

    Thanks!

    ~kargiver
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Hi kargiver, did you actually go to the shower - or just sent her the GC?
    In either case I would ask.
    The TY note sounds to me like a generic (Argh!) note this person sent to everyone.
    I am kind of in your shoes. I was invited to a babyshower. Could not attend, but did sent a gift card for one of the places she was registered - in her name - to the person, where her shower was to be held. (Her in-laws are dear friends of ours.)
    Well, this was 4 months ago. All I want to know if she did indeed received the card. This is the reason I don't like GCs. At least if you write a check - you will know if it has been cashed.
    Wouldn't it be nice - if everyone knew how etiquette works? - Pingo
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    That is weird. Depending on how close you are, I'd ask about it.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Can you ask a different friend? You must know other people who went to the shower. Find out what another friend's note said - it might give you a clue.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from onecoolchick. Show onecoolchick's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Maybe you could just casually during conversation ask her what did she decide to get with the gift certificate.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I'd ask. You've received a non-thank you note. It makes no mention of the gift you gave.
    When one receives money or a gift card one should certainly mention what they plan to do with it - as Alf has pointed out.
    She must be a friend since you attended her shower right? So call her and say (nicely) "I just wanted to make sure my GC didn't get lost in the shuffle."
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I would let it go. When I received monetary gifts for my shower or for the wedding, I would write something along the lines of thank you for you generous gift, but not mention the fact that it was $$. I don't know what it is, but to reference money in the thank you just rubbed me the wrong way. Then again, I would mention that I would be using their gift towards dishes or towels, etc. Maybe she doesn't like to mention money, or maybe you were one of the last cards she wrote out and her hand was tired? :-)
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    pingo, I did attend the shower, and she did thank me very much for coming at the time.

    lucy, brides have asked on these boards if they need to send a thank you note for someone who attended their wedding but didn't give a gift. So, the confusion is out there, unfortunately, about the gauche nature of writing a note just to thank someone for their presence. As for sounding fake, it's hard, but I think possible to sound genuine in a note. The key is being genuine instead of trying to write the "perfect" note. If you write what you'd really say to them in person, it comes out great. Kind of like smiling for a picture. If you put on your "picture smile" it looks fake even to people who don't know you, but if you actually think of something that makes you smile from your gut when the picture is taken, poof, it looks genuine...'cause it is!

    Thanks, everyone, for all your input. Gosh, all your suggestions make sense! What's a girl to do?
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I may be wrong - I may be one in a Million, but I do not think one should send a TY note to anyone attending any party - including showers.
    Do you send a TY to someone attending your Chrstmas or New Year's Eve party? I would be truly surpriced if you did. Showers are no different - it is a party you get invited to, and if you bring a gift, that gift should be acknowleged in some way. The receiver should be the one to thank you for the gift.

    [Quote]Question: Is it necessary to send a thank you note to someone just for attending your shower? I mean, if you were there, presumably she thanked you for attending at the time? Because, if that's as unusual as it sounds to me, I would assume that she really is thanking you for the gift.

    I personally feel like anything I write on a thank you note sounds fake. I hate doing them. So, maybe she just ran out of things to say? I like the idea where you casually ask around with your other friends.[/Quote]
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from farmerjonessmith. Show farmerjonessmith's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I would casually verify with her that she received the $50. It is very unlikely, but possible, that the $50 was misplaced or stolen. Make sure that she got it.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Oh, yeah, the shower was one of those where we had to fill out our own addresses on the envelopes so maybe it was generic all the way. Ugh, is right, pingo. Maybe I'll assume it was a generic note she wrote to everyone and never think about it again.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from katie1980. Show katie1980's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I'd ask. That's just me!

    Jsut say "Thank you for your note, I want to make sure you also got my gift and it didn't get lost."
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from dabrooks. Show dabrooks's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    get over it - for real - there are much bigger things to worry about if needed.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote]get over it - for real - there are much bigger things to worry about if needed.[/Quote]

    I'm not in a panic - just thought I'd ask. Besides many here will be writing a bunch of thank you notes in the near future. Can't hurt to get everyone thinking about it, can it? What else is everyone doing on a Friday that's dragging on?
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I agree, ask but frame your question around makign sure the giftc ard didn't get lost.
    Maybe she just forgot to write down who gave her what?

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Question: Is it necessary to send a thank you note to someone just for attending your shower? I mean, if you were there, presumably she thanked you for attending at the time? Because, if that's as unusual as it sounds to me, I would assume that she really is thanking you for the gift.

    I personally feel like anything I write on a thank you note sounds fake. I hate doing them. So, maybe she just ran out of things to say? I like the idea where you casually ask around with your other friends.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from StefA. Show StefA's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I would call or EMAIL the bride as a "social call" and tell her how much you enjoyed the shower and thanks for her note - just checking in to make sure you did indeed get the GC from XYZ store...

    If she says "oh, didn't I mention it in the note?" you can say that the note hadn't mentioned it and you just wanted to make sure she has it.

    Another thing with gift certificates is that if you have a receipt you could always send it to her in case she loses the card/certificate. These days if it's a gift card, sometimes the seller doesn't validate it correctly at the register. So providing the receipt when you give the gift card allows the recipient to verify that the card is valid.

    My two cents, anyway!
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from TheLongestTime. Show TheLongestTime's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I hate it when they link the wedding boards to the main page.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Ween. Show Ween's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I like the idea that someone else had about asking the person what they bought with the gift card. That is casual and you'll get your answer.

    I also attended a shower in which we had to self address our thank-you cards. I thought that was so tacky! I would not care if I received one that had an address label on it, but somehow addressing it myself seemed in very poor taste. I felt it sent the message "I know you gave up a weekend afternoon to attend this shower and that you spent time and money on my nice gift . . . but I can't be bothered spending much time on your thank-you card and need a short-cut".
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from GuyfromLowell. Show GuyfromLowell's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    So what. you got a thank you. Maybe it was easier to just thank everyone. If your that superficial stop giving gifts.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote]I may be wrong - I may be one in a Million, but I do not think one should send a TY note to anyone attending any party - including showers.
    Do you send a TY to someone attending your Chrstmas or New Year's Eve party? I would be truly surpriced if you did. Showers are no different - it is a party you get invited to, and if you bring a gift, that gift should be acknowleged in some way. The receiver should be the one to thank you for the gift. [/Quote]

    See, that's exactly what I thought. Which is why I thought maybe it was just an odd way of thanking her for the gift. I would never send a written "Thank you for attending my party." I would consider it a waste of time, stamps, and trees.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    ugh, what's with all the negative newcomers. Leave us alone, we're talking etiquette here. It's an etiquette board, or didn't you notice?
    Proper etiquette is to mention the gift specifically. Even if Kar is just venting, it's perfectly welcome.
    If you don't want to read about it, go somewhere else.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Ugh, it is ont he main page! That's obnoxious.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote] As for sounding fake, it's hard, but I think possible to sound genuine in a note. The key is being genuine instead of trying to write the "perfect" note. If you write what you'd really say to them in person, it comes out great. Kind of like smiling for a picture. If you put on your "picture smile" it looks fake even to people who don't know you, but if you actually think of something that makes you smile from your gut when the picture is taken, poof, it looks genuine...'cause it is!
    [/Quote]

    OK. I think part of my problem is that I feel that it's necessary to fill as much of the card as possible, despite the fact that I have tiny handwriting. :) But, I'll work on it. Thank you!
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from user_1393332. Show user_1393332's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    At least you got a Thank You note, the last 3 or 4 showers (bridal and baby) - I never received a thank you, note. Most of them I was also asked to cook for, as well. Same deal - nothing.
    When my girls got married and later had babies, I made sure they knew to send Thank you notes and mention the actual gift. We sat down as a family and did the notes (when you have a new baby, it is a bit difficult to find the time)
    If it was money, then something like, thank you for your Gift Card or check, it will come in handy now that jr. has joined the family. And also thank you for making your delicious lasagna.
    I guess now when they open the gift and shout out thank you Auntie X, that is it!
    As a side note, my sister's children 19 and 20, still call or send a thank you note for birthday, graduation and other gifts received, depends on how you were brought up.
     
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