Odd Thank you Note

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from alaz005. Show alaz005's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I would ask. She invited you to her SHOWER so you have to be somewhat close. Obviously everyone knows that if you get cash or GC you say thank you and tell the person how it will be spent. However, I will say that sometimes during the hussle and bussel of it all one of the BM may have forgotten to write "$50 GC" next to your name, or it was moved around. I would ask.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I dunno, IMO if someone's close enough to you that they are invited to your shower, you can easily get their address w/o having them write it down on an envelope at the shower itself.
    Plus, won't you need their address anyway to invite them to the wedding?

    [Quote]

    Maybe they sent an evite or posted it as an event on Facebook?[/Quote]
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote]How exactly would one recieve an invitation to the shower if those hosting did not have your address?
    [/Quote]

    Maybe they sent an evite or posted it as an event on Facebook?
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I'm with you CrazyHip- I also sent a TY to everyone who attended my wedding, gift or no gift. If the feeling is genuine, then your note is genuine.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Sorry Lucy- I didn't catch that you were kidding. :)

    Well, the times they are a changin'. I think it's only appropriate to invite in that manner if everyone who'll be invited is an e-mail type of person.
    Facebook is usually not a good idea because those who are not invited will see that other people were invited.

    [Quote]

    Maybe they issued wedding invitations via Facebook or an evite? :)

    I'm kidding - I don't think that came across before. I don't think posting a Facebook event is the appropriate way to invite people to a shower. And, of course, you should know the addresses for all your close friends (or be able to get it fairly easily).[/Quote]
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Who said anything about being mad? Kar is concerned that maybe her gift wasn't received.
    It's not British, it's proper. I gather you've never read The Age of Innocence?
    And not all guys feel the way you do. My husband is a die-hard thank you note writer.

    [Quote]From a guy's point of view: Deciding whether to be mad at someone over the contents of a thank you note where she actually says thank you is.... INSANE!
    Even expecting a thank you note for an event you attended is so British. Thank you notes are a formality and I would never be upset if I didn't get one. Let it go![/Quote]
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    P.S. The OP didn't say anything about being mad at the honoree. She's only wondering if she should make sure she got the gift because the note only said thank you for attending.
    Also there are lots of things we do because they are traditional/old fashioned. Thanking people for gifts should not be at the top of the list of things to cease doing.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from DanKat. Show DanKat's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    I am willing to bet that the gc was in a pile of cards and separated from your actual card. She wrote the thank you without knowing whether or not you gave her a gift. I had this happen to me and decided to write "thank you for the wonderful gift and for coming for my shower". I think it is better to err on the side of having received some kind of gift. Chances are pretty good that they brought something.
    I have also had to send a thank you for attending note to someone that I was positive did not bring a gift. I felt really weird about it and I wrote exactly what kargiver received.

    I wouldn't go out of my way to ask her about it but the next time I saw or spoke to her, I'd ask if she got the gift card and tell her why I was asking.

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote]I dunno, IMO if someone's close enough to you that they are invited to your shower, you can easily get their address w/o having them write it down on an envelope at the shower itself.
    Plus, won't you need their address anyway to invite them to the wedding?
    [/Quote]

    Maybe they issued wedding invitations via Facebook or an evite? :)

    I'm kidding - I don't think that came across before. I don't think posting a Facebook event is the appropriate way to invite people to a shower. And, of course, you should know the addresses for all your close friends (or be able to get it fairly easily).
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    if the thank you was that generic, it was probably that generic on everyone else's. Even if you ask her if she got the gc, she will probably reply yes. Imagine the scenarios. You ask if she got the gc, she did get it, but just didnt mention it in the note. She will tell you just that. If you ask her if she got the gc and she didnt get it, she may feel embarassed. She will wonder if it got lost, if someone stole it, if you are just lying and didnt really get a gift, etc. Either way, it doesnt solve anything because you still will never know if she really did get it. Just go on the assumption she wrote a generic thank you, and ask someone else who attended if you want confirmation.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote]I sent a thank you to everyone who attended my wedding - gift or no gift. I also sent thank you notes to everyone who did not attend but sent a gift. I don't think it's cheesey or fake at all. In my case - I was thrilled that everyone attended and I wasn't at all concerned with the gifts. Most of mine for gift cards and money said generous gift and named something we had bought or were thinking of buying.[/Quote]

    You sound nice and thoughtful, and while your intentions were good for writing a note to someone who didn't give a gift, the reason emily post says not to send a thank you to someone for merely attending is that it backfires. Receiving one for just attending only serves to acknowledge, in writing, that you did not get a gift from this person. It's an attempt at being sweet, I'm sure, but it's really not such a gracious idea. So, I hope you will reconsider the practice for the future. You can always call someone or write a letter or email that is not a "thank you note" to say how much you appreciated their being there instead.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Addressing one's own envelope is actually a great idea. If you are not having a close realatives, close friends from town type shower you stand a good chance of not having some current addresses. Most people are not offended and know how much time it takes a bride to write out, address, stamp, etc. Most brides also work full-time and have their hands full. Ween or whoever you are, I'm sorry you had to give up so much for your friend.

    Disagree. Somehow, someone found the addresses when the invitations went out and somehow, the bride will find them when the wedding invitations need to be mailed.

    Thank you notes should not be addressed or even mentioned at a shower. The gift recipient should take care of them later. Brides somehow find the time to do the planning, shopping, stressing and obsessing over every little detail of their weddings, they can find time to send personalized thank you notes to people nice enough to give them a gift.

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from OU812. Show OU812's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    From a guy's point of view: Deciding whether to be mad at someone over the contents of a thank you note where she actually says thank you is.... INSANE!
    Even expecting a thank you note for an event you attended is so British. Thank you notes are a formality and I would never be upset if I didn't get one. Let it go!
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Oh, that too?
    I have been to a couple of showers like that. I refuse to put my own address on an envelope.



    [Quote]Oh, yeah, the shower was one of those where we had to fill out our own addresses on the envelopes so maybe it was generic all the way. Ugh, is right, pingo. Maybe I'll assume it was a generic note she wrote to everyone and never think about it again.[/Quote]
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Ween. Show Ween's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote]Addressing one's own envelope is actually a great idea. If you are not having a close realatives, close friends from town type shower you stand a good chance of not having some current addresses. Most people are not offended and know how much time it takes a bride to write out, address, stamp, etc. Most brides also work full-time and have their hands full. Ween or whoever you are, I'm sorry you had to give up so much for your friend.[/Quote]

    Citizen,
    I think most people are offended when asked to address their own thank-you card. Of course the bride has all the up-to-date addresses for her guests (the addresses were used for the shower invites and will be used for the wedding invites). It is plain tacky. EVERYONE is busy. That is a terrible excuse. Where would you draw the line? Would it be OK to just type up one thank-you and photocopy it for all the guests? It is a simple gesture to write a thank-you after someone attended your event and purchased a nice gift. When my friends attend my events, I always take the time to write thank-you cards.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from JimmyCon. Show JimmyCon's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote]Does it really matter enough to you that you would have to actually ASK what they bought with your gift card? A gift is an act of generosity from one person to another, given UNCONDITIONALLY. It doesn't entitle you to an explanation. What if she used your gift card to buy socks and underwear? Do you really want to know that? Don't embarass the bride or yourself for that matter. let it go.[/Quote]

    The only person you are embarrassing is yourself by being so selfish. it's not entitlement people are expecting it is common courtesy, something your family didn't teach you. What an ungrateful and entitled person you are.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from lisav27. Show lisav27's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Does it really matter enough to you that you would have to actually ASK what they bought with your gift card? A gift is an act of generosity from one person to another, given UNCONDITIONALLY. It doesn't entitle you to an explanation. What if she used your gift card to buy socks and underwear? Do you really want to know that? Don't embarass the bride or yourself for that matter. let it go.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from lincoln321. Show lincoln321's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    Thank you notes for a shower or wedding gifts are not optional. If it cash or a gift card then mentioning what will be purchased is always a nice gesture. It also assures the gift giver that the gift was received. Asking people to address their own thank you notes is just tacky.
    At this point the bride may have lost the list of gifts so she may not know if it was received or not. You could ask her what she got with all of her gift cards, might jog her memory.
    Good luck.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from JimmyCon. Show JimmyCon's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote]I may be wrong - I may be one in a Million, but I do not think one should send a TY note to anyone attending any party - including showers.
    Do you send a TY to someone attending your Chrstmas or New Year's Eve party? I would be truly surpriced if you did. Showers are no different - it is a party you get invited to, and if you bring a gift, that gift should be acknowleged in some way. The receiver should be the one to thank you for the gift.

    [/Quote]

    You are way off base with your thinking. A shower is not the same as a regular party. A shower is a party where the person invited is EXPECTED to bring a gift. Just because you may have thanked them in person, you should ALWAYS follow up with a written note. This person gave up their day to attend one of the most boring events ever created and went out and spent their hardworking money to buy you something or give you money. A written note is another way of showing you appreciated them giving up their time and money. Personally, showers should be done away with. Years ago, people gave them because folks really needed help to get started, but todays young people have more money and a lot of them already live together and have the things they need. From the sounds of the ungrateful ones on this message board don't appreciate it either but rather expect it. Shameful.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote]And the next will be, that we bring our own stamps. Because you know the postage is going up and getting married or having a baby is very expensive these days - how can the gift receiver possibly afford those?

    Yet better, maybe we should even bring our own, all addressed and stamped TY envelope - then all the bride or new mother has to do is to insert the generic printed card. Hopefully she can manage that with her full time work and very busy schedule.
    [/Quote]

    You know, Pingo, it would really help the bride out if you would write the card, too. After all, you can't expect the poor, harried bride to remember what gifts people bought her and take the time out to write cards. Also, with the expense of a wedding, the thank you cards just might be the breaking point. ;)
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    And the next will be, that we bring our own stamps. Because you know the postage is going up and getting married or having a baby is very expensive these days - how can the gift receiver possibly afford those?

    Yet better, maybe we should even bring our own, all addressed and stamped TY envelope - then all the bride or new mother has to do is to insert the generic printed card. Hopefully she can manage that with her full time work and very busy schedule.




    [Quote]Addressing one's own envelope is actually a great idea. If you are not having a close realatives, close friends from town type shower you stand a good chance of not having some current addresses. Most people are not offended and know how much time it takes a bride to write out, address, stamp, etc. Most brides also work full-time and have their hands full. Ween or whoever you are, I'm sorry you had to give up so much for your friend.[/Quote]
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote]HA! Sadly, we are probably not too far from seeing things like that. I'm still getting used to the fact that I now hear many big, exciting news that way . . . Jane is thrilled to be pregnant or Steve popped the question and she said yes! Remember when you'd see a friend in person or talk to them over the phone to share great moments like that? Ah, the good old days![/Quote]

    The absolute worst was the one that said something like:

    "Stacey is letting John know, via her Facebook status message, that she is breaking up with him."

    Man, and I thought breaking up with someone via voicemail was bad...
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote] Would it be OK to just type up one thank-you and photocopy it for all the guests? It is a simple gesture to write a thank-you after someone attended your event and purchased a nice gift. When my friends attend my events, I always take the time to write thank-you cards.[/Quote]

    Maybe you could just update your Facebook status. ;)

    "Lucy is thanking all those who attended her shower for the lovely gifts."
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Ween. Show Ween's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    [Quote]

    Maybe you could just update your Facebook status. ;)

    "Lucy is thanking all those who attended her shower for the lovely gifts."[/Quote]

    HA! Sadly, we are probably not too far from seeing things like that. I'm still getting used to the fact that I now hear many big, exciting news that way . . . Jane is thrilled to be pregnant or Steve popped the question and she said yes! Remember when you'd see a friend in person or talk to them over the phone to share great moments like that? Ah, the good old days!
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from vwromans. Show vwromans's posts

    Odd Thank you Note

    This is clearly a big issue here. I would do one of two things to confirm she received the gift.

    1 - You could send her the exact same gift certificate again with a note that says "congrats on your shower". She is sure to respond to this generous gesture and may even send you that reads "Thanks for your thoughtful gift. Again." If you get that note, you know she got the first one too.

    2 - You could consider calling the place where you registered and ask them if they have a gift card tracking department. Lots of retail stores do these days and should be able to pinpoint the exact location of your gift card by the gps chip that is embedded in all gift cards these days.


    Both are a little more effort (ok, maybe a lot) but at least you will have the answer.

    Best of luck.
     

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