OT - Advice

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    OT - Advice

    This question has been playing around in my head, so I thought maybe I'd throw it out there as fodder for a friday.

    I'm going with my best friend (who was also my MOH in June) to NYC tomorrow for support as she cuts 14 inches of her hair off to donate to Pantene Beautiful Lengths (they provide wigs for both adults and children).  She is going to the "fancy" salon she used to go to when she lived in NYC (now is in CT).  She's mentioned several times that it is going to be expensive, and I know she and her husband are very careful when it comes to money, so I know it's causing her angst.

    I have been wanting to get her an additional "thank you" gift for being an amazing MOH, and had been wondering what to do.  I'd love to pay for her haircut tomorrow, but don't know if it would be at all inappropriate, or awkward for her if I did.  I was thinking of calling the salon today and paying "anonymously" with my credit card.

    So my question is: is this an appropriate "gift" for me to give her, or would it be better just to buy her something?

    Also, originally it was just going to be she and I tomorrow, but now 2 of our other friends are going.  Which is great, but I'm wondering if that could make the idea of me paying for her even more weird...

    Thanks for any advice!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    I think that is a fabulous, and very thoughtful gift.  I also like your approach of calling the salon ahead of time and paying for it up front.  Have a great time this weekend.  I'm sure she will be thrilled!!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    That's an awesome gift. I gave my sister a GC to her regular salon as a TY for being in my wedding.  She loved it. 

    If your friend is donating the hair, there should not be a huge fee for that.  I would think there would be a discounted rate. Now if she is having her hair professionally styled after getting that much cut off, then okay, I can see a charge, but if she is just going for a pageboy or bob, I would think that the salon would do a quick clean up of the ends for next to nothing after snipping off the ponytail. 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    thank you, ladies, for the advice so far!
    That's a good point, Alf - I do think she's getting it professionally styled afterwards, but I think she just wants sort of a modified bob... so maybe I'll call the salon and ask them what they think the charge will be.

    So - another question to add on: Should I tell her, or have it be "anonymous" (which kind of defeats the idea of this being a MOH gift, since she won't know that's what it is)? 
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    It's a great MOH gift, and if you call it that explicitly she'll be fine with it, I'd think.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ash. Show ash's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    I think this is a very nice idea.  Of course you know your friend better than us, so you'd know is this would "insult" her in some way.  Hard to imagine how, but I guess some people get their knickers in a twist about stuff.

    When you say anonymously, do you mean she would never know it was you??  I don't think I would keep it completely anonymous if you were planning to.  I can see you not needing the recognition, which is a nice in and of itself, but I'm not sure I think anonymity is necessary. 

    I do agree with ALF.  I think most of these places do cuts like this for no cost, or way less than their usual fee.  Don't know if that makes a difference to you.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmt09. Show kmt09's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    How sweet of both of you!  So sweet of her to donate to such a great cause, and really sweet of you to pay for her cut.  I think it's a great idea.  We all know how expensive the salon can be.  This will be a really nice treat for her, and such a surprise when she'd done and finds out she doesn't have to pay!

    I think you should do it anonymously, since the other 2 friends will be there, and then tell her later when it's just the two of you that you paid for her hair as her MOH gift.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    I agree, it's a very thoughtful gift. Go for it!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    The three of the girls would ask each other if they were the one who paid.  It would be a very awkward moment - what's she gonna do, lie?  All three girls saying it wasn't them?  It's easier and less awkward prone to just pay and say it's your MOH gift to her.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    In Response to OT - Advice:
    [QUOTE]This question has been playing around in my head, so I thought maybe I'd throw it out there as fodder for a friday. I'm going with my best friend (who was also my MOH in June) to NYC tomorrow for support as she cuts 14 inches of her hair off to donate to Pantene Beautiful Lengths (they provide wigs for both adults and children).  She is going to the "fancy" salon she used to go to when she lived in NYC (now is in CT).  She's mentioned several times that it is going to be expensive, and I know she and her husband are very careful when it comes to money, so I know it's causing her angst. I have been wanting to get her an additional "thank you" gift for being an amazing MOH, and had been wondering what to do.  I'd love to pay for her haircut tomorrow, but don't know if it would be at all inappropriate, or awkward for her if I did.  I was thinking of calling the salon today and paying "anonymously" with my credit card. So my question is: is this an appropriate "gift" for me to give her, or would it be better just to buy her something? Also, originally it was just going to be she and I tomorrow, but now 2 of our other friends are going.  Which is great, but I'm wondering if that could make the idea of me paying for her even more weird... Thanks for any advice!
    Posted by heatherv1211[/QUOTE]

    This is her trip, her choice, her plan, her decision.  No need for you to pay for it.  It was her idea.

    In my own life, a wonderful gift for being a great bridesmaid or friend should be a keepsake, rather than having a bill paid for me.  I would prefer something that I will have forever to remind me of my friend and our good times.  

    That's my thought.   
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    I'm the opposite. I much prefer a dinner out or massage or something like that as a gift as opposed to more stuff. The only keepsakes I like are photos, everything else is just another thing I have to be careful not to lose or break, something I have to pack everytime I move.

    In Response to Re: OT - Advice:
    [QUOTE]In Response to OT - Advice : This is her trip, her choice, her plan, her decision.  No need for you to pay for it.  It was her idea. In my own life, a wonderful gift for being a great bridesmaid or friend should be a keepsake, rather than having a bill paid for me.  I would prefer something that I will have forever to remind me of my friend and our good times.   That's my thought.   
    Posted by downtoearth[/QUOTE]
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    I have to say, I don't like the little trinkets, either.  I've been in two weddings, and got a little silver box with my initials on it from one of them, and I have NO idea where it is now.  It gets packed away never to be seen again. 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    I agree with Downtoearth,
    Lovely idea and would be very nice of you if you go through with it... But my view is if she was so concerned about the expense of the salon, she could have booked her haircut somewhere else.  Nice of you to be worried about her finances, but if she was really that worried, she simply would not have booked it.  I hope that doesn't sound nasty somehow - my point is simply that it's nice of you to worry about her, but unnecessary.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    I knew I couldn't be the only one :)

    In Response to Re: OT - Advice:
    [QUOTE]I have to say, I don't like the little trinkets, either.  I've been in two weddings, and got a little silver box with my initials on it from one of them, and I have NO idea where it is now.  It gets packed away never to be seen again. 
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    It was a lovely thought that my initials were engraved, but I seriously have no idea where it is.  Even if I wanted to keep it on my dresser now, I don't know where I put it.  EEK! 
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    Is there anyway you could get her a gift certificate to the salon rather than paying for her haircut? If it would be too awkward to give it to her right then an there, it could be used as a good excuse for the two of you to go to NYC together again. You know that she loves the place and her haircut will need maintenance at some point!
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmt09. Show kmt09's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    [QUOTE]I knew I couldn't be the only one :) In Response to Re: OT - Advice :
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]

    Add me to the list!  Last wedding I was in, the bride gave us all a gift certificate for a massage, and jewelry for the wedding.  Loved every second of the massage, never wore the jewelry again after the wedding day.  :)
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    In Response to Re: OT - Advice:
    [QUOTE]I agree with Downtoearth, Lovely idea and would be very nice of you if you go through with it... But my view is if she was so concerned about the expense of the salon, she could have booked her haircut somewhere else.  Nice of you to be worried about her finances, but if she was really that worried, she simply would not have booked it.  I hope that doesn't sound nasty somehow - my point is simply that it's nice of you to worry about her, but unnecessary.
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]

    That was actually my first thought.  I know that when I was concerned with the cost of my salon, I went to Blaine Beauty School instead.  That's just me, though.

    Heather - it is a really nice idea, but, in light of the fact that other people are coming along, it might be nice to just book mani/pedis for the two of you to have a spa day here in Boston.  Or maybe go out for a nice dinner or something.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    Good points, all.  Thank you!  One of my worries if I did get this for her would be that it would seem that I felt bad for her or something because of the expense.  "I know you're struggling, so I took it upon myself to help."  NOT the message I want to portray AT ALL.  The more I think about it, the more I think I'll choose something different to give her - whether it's a "thing" or a gift certificate somewhere.  Still thinking about it though... it's been very helpful to get your thoughts!
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from tibird. Show tibird's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    Hi Heather,
     You should definately call the salon & check about pricing.  When I donate mine I go to a nicer salon & the cut/style is free.  So she may not be paying anything/much for the cut.
    When I hit 30, I decided that I was too old to have such long hair (it gets pretty scragly at that length) & that I was going to finally dye it after my donation. It's something I could never do because they don't want color treated hair.  I only told 1 friend about it because I wanted it to be a surprise.  Since it was my b-day, said friend went ahead & got me a gift cert to the salon to cover the dye-job.  I thought it was so sweet!
    BUT, since there will be other friends with you, that might make it a bit awkward.  The trip to NYC though, won't be cheap.  Maybe you could offer to take her to dinner or something when it's just the 2 of you?
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    I would also rather have a nice gift item that I could keep forever.  And no, I'm not talking about tacky cr@p from Things Remembered or "wedding outfit jewelry" either. 

    But, if your friend is "frugal", then she would probably love to have you pay for the appointment.   I don't think you need to pay ahead of time or call the salon and get a gift card.  Just hand over your credit card when it's time to pay for the appointment and tell her quietly this is an extra thank you for being such a great friend. 

    Have fun in NYC!!!! 

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    In Response to Re: OT - Advice:
    [QUOTE]I knew I couldn't be the only one :) In Response to Re: OT - Advice :
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]

    You aren't the only one, pinkkittie.  I so much prefer getting GC to salons or spas.  DH loves it b/c it makes it easy to get my birthday and Christmas gifts.

    Incidentally, my initial MOH gift for my sister was a physical gift.  I got her a watercolor, but told her that if she didn't like it for whatever reason, I'd take it for myself and get her something else.  She decided she didn't like it and admitted as much to my mom. She wasn't planning on giving it back, but I had let my mom know in advance and I really liked the watercolor and had almost decided to keep it for myself before I gave it to her as a gift. Mom saved the day. I now have a great watercolor in my dining room and my sister got a day of beauty at her favorite salon.  :-)  I am not a big keepsake person.  To me, it's just more c-rap to pack when we move or a dust collector.  :-)
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    It's the meaning behind the gift that matters the most to me.  But, when I get those little Things Remembered gifts that I can tell took absolutely no thought, those things get put into a box and get forgotten so easily. 

    For my gift to my bridesmaids, I wanted to make sure I got them something that they wouldn't just toss in a box.  And, being that I have 7 bridesmaids and a flower girl, I couldn't do a "day at the spa" gift for all of them.  They will all get very nice gifts, that I know they'll use.  My MOH who is also my sister, her gift will be more special. 
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    Update!  Ok, I called the salon and many of you were right - they will only charge a minimal amount for the styling.  So I'm not going to do it, I'll think of something else instead. 

    Thank you all!  Have a great weekend!
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: OT - Advice

    Heather, I am glad you were able to solve your dilemma. I am just curious as to why your friend has to go to NY city to have her hair cut. My DIL donated her hair to the same charity, and all she did was to go to a salon in the city she lives in and normally goes to. They didn't charge her anything for the cutting and styling. She just tipped them generously.
    Unless of course your friend wants a time out with her girlfriends in NY city. I just wanted to point out, that an expensive trip to the big city is not necessary, if money is tight.


    In Response to Re: OT - Advice:
    [QUOTE]Update!  Ok, I called the salon and many of you were right - they will only charge a minimal amount for the styling.  So I'm not going to do it, I'll think of something else instead.  Thank you all!  Have a great weekend!
    Posted by heatherv1211[/QUOTE]
     

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