Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostonslp. Show bostonslp's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?



    I think that you could write that on the reply card, or if you are close enough to the couple, call/e-mail them and explain the situation.  Personally, I'd want to make sure that all of my guests were taken care of. 
    I am pretty sure that most places cater to any dietary restrictions, and could come up with a veggie meal on the spot, but the advance notice is probably helpful for everyone.  
    I asked my place if there was a veggie option (not just the sides of the meat) and there is - so I added that option to the card.   HTH
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from jasmine09. Show jasmine09's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    Most venues offer a "silent" vegetarian option--this means it is available upon special request.  (I am also vegetarian.)  I think it is acceptable to write this in on your reply card.  Venues *usually* offer this without extra cost to the hosts--it is a common situation these days!  (The meal is generally priced the same as whatever else they are serving...)  It's not generally very exciting food, but I am just pleased to be accommodated.  I have been to dozens of formal dinners like this, and never encountered a one that didn't offer a "silent" veggie option, even when none was advertised.

    good luck!



     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    Amanda, I have many vegetarian friends, and they would never dream of making special requests. We go out with them often, and never request we go to a special restaurant. They have the attitude, there is always something on the menue, they can eat. One friend loves deserts, so her order is usually a salad and a huge desert.
    Like jasmine mentioned - the venue will usually be able to help you even if requested on the spot. Otherwise eat what you can. I have attended weddings, where vegetarians asked for a second salad or asked the waiter to serve them the sides only. They have always been accomodated with a smile.
    We did have a vegetarian option on our rsvp cards. But if there is none, I would not make a request. If you know the couple well, they will also know you are vegetarian and would probably make a special request for you ahead of time, but if you don't know the couple or the family well, I would just go with the flow.
    I am certainly sensitive to your needs, but one "lousy" meal is not the end of the world. Besides the veggie options they serve at functions are not very exciting. Generally a huge plate of rice or some pasta with the same sides served to the rest of the guests.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from winston17. Show winston17's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

     i do not know the couple well at all. It is my husbands cousin. i met her at her shower. I really don't want to offend anyone. I think i will just put that i a a vegitarian and would be fine with a salad.
     If the actually do a meal great but i don't want to put any one out.

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from jasmine09. Show jasmine09's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I think that sounds like a good solution winston!  THe venue will probably at a minimum serve you a vegetable side they were putting on the meat plates anyway.  Just eat a big lunch that day.  :)  

    Honestly, even when a veggie option is listed on the menu, it doesn't necessarily mean any thought was put into it.  At a HUGE (1200 person) dinner formal at the Marriott I once attended, a veggie option was advertised, and I requested it.  Turns out the veggie option was four small pieces of grilled vegetables.  That was the entree.  THere was no starch or protein served.  Anyway, lesson learned--always eat before you go!

    And pingo--I honestly think your vegetarian friends should speak up for themselves a little more when you go out to eat!  While I never complain about the restaurant pick in a large group, or a work setting, and definitely never at a wedding, if it's just my husband and me and a couple friends I will suggest we *not* go to the steakhouse.  I figure everyone has preferences--I wouldn't drag a friend who hates spicy food to an Indian restaurant--and voicing mine shouldn't be a big problem.  I don't insist that everyone go to a vegetarian restaurant with me, but seriously, paying $10 for salad for dinner at a steakhouse is not very much fun.  Even if it's a good salad.  I like a real meal as much as the next person. :)




     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    Oh jasmine, couldn' t agree with you more!
    I would NEVER ever insist to go to a steak house or a clam shack with our vegetarian friends. We always try to find a place, that has "something for everyone". But being in this circuit for many years, I am tired of Mexican or Indian food. So loaded with oil, salt and starches. I have had to resort to just a salad and bread at those places, which was fine and didn't kill me for just one evening. (Except salad at an Indian restaurant couldn' t be more boring).
    French and Italian cuisine has a lot to offer - even for vegetarians. Thai food often has fish sauce in their dishes and Chinese chicken broth. Japanese use a lot of fish and fish sauces.
    When we go out with our veggie friends, I always let them suggest a few restaurants. Then we decide from there. What I was trying to say, even at a steak house - there would always be something for a vegetarian to eat. If nothing else - a baked potato and a salad. I am not a big beef eater myself and have often had just that. Plenty satisfying.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from jasmine09. Show jasmine09's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    You sound like a thoughtful friend pingo, and very aware of the "hidden" non-veggie items in so many cuisines!  I hope I didn't come off as snarky in the previous post...  It's true that Thai and Japanese and Korean food can sneak a little fish or shrimp paste/sauce into just about everything.  Frequently they can eliminate it on request though--and I love vegetarian sushi-mmm!  If you are tired of Indian and Mexican, I totally agree that you should be able to speak up equally and recommend Italian or whatever!  :)  

    And you are right, these days, there is always something vegetarian that can be arranged.  Even at a steakhouse.

    ...sorry for getting us somewhat off-topic, OP!

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

         From my experience working functions,  caterers always keep on hand some 2 and 4 serving items for vegetarians,  but they cannot produce them instantly.
    If you let a server know when you are seated,  and no one asked earlier for Veg meals, then you will get 30 cents of rice or  pasta and 40 cents of veg tossed in, plus regularly served sides.  They heat it for every function for just in case, and can afford to throw it out if not used, because it wasn't worth much anyway.
         Given advanced notice, they get out a 2 or 4 portion casserole of lasagna, of quiche, or manicotti, cheese blintzes with fruit, spinach and cheese pie, mushroom caps stuffed with cheese and something,  a ramekin of sweet egg custard , or other real food.  These must be thought of a few hours in advance even though the prep time is very little.  They don't cook them if they do not know someone wants them.
         Either call the hosts, or write on the reply card, I am vegetarian.  And then a helpful note - as in "I do eat eggs, cheese and nuts"

    Worked once for a chef who would serve this fabulous ricotta  and figs dish, plus a great sweet pumpkin custard (as in a pie filling), and a special beet, spinach, filberts & parmesan salad   />  for veg  who asked in advance.  Other  veg who asked at the last minute and got 1 C rice with 2 oz peas and 2 oz lima beans and corn niblets  would always ask, how come I can't have that?

    So politely, speak up.  The silent veg option is not advertised, but a good one must be asked for.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from bostonslp. Show bostonslp's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I agree with you, Whatawag - as a guest, you are paying for a gift, probably transportation and a hotel - you deserve a filling meal!  you should not have to eat a big lunch just because you don't eat meat.
    As I said before, as someone hosting the wedding, knowing that people are going out of their way for me - I would want to know that they got what they needed ahead of time so that everyone was all set on the day of. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from winston17. Show winston17's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    Well i am going to let her know on the reply card. She can take it from there. Thank you all :) 
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from ash. Show ash's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I would not put this on the reply card, because I think that comes across as a little "demanding".  I don't think its right to say "oh, don't worry about me, I'll be fine with a salad" or "Please make me something special".  I would either call them up if I knew them well, because I think you can ask that of close friends or relatives, or make do with what was being served.  There will be appetizers, a salad, at least 2 sides and desserts.

    Pick whatever your husband wants, let him eat it, and then eat his sides.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I tend to agree with ash.  It would be different if you had a serious food allergy.  I'm a really picky eater, but I wouldn't put on the reply card that I don't eat mushrooms, or olives, or peppers, or spicy foods, or fruit salad, or eggplant, so please find me a meal that suits my individual needs.

    I go, see what's available, and find something I can eat.  Or, I stop and buy something on the way home. 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    One of my good friends is a veggie, and recentley we were at a wedding together. When we all sat down to eat she said "shoot, I totally forgot to mention to ________ that I need a veggie meal." Our mutual friend was getting married, so she knew that she would need at least one meal to be veggie at her wedding. When the wait staff came around to ask us what meals we ordered, ______ said, "I forgot to mention that I am a veggie." The wait staff was like "no problem" and whipped her up some pasta meal.

    I think nowadays, most places that make food in mass quantities, are able to make something on the spot that is a veggie option.

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I don' t agree with you Boston!
    I think it all depends on how close you are to the host/hostess and bride/groom. If you are close to them, I don' t even think you need to speak up. They know your predicament, and will already have ordered something for you. However, if you are not close - then as I said in my previous post, just bite the bullet and eat, what you can.
    Lots of people have food allergies. I for example cannot eat eggplant and mushrooms. But I would never dream of asking for a special meal. If I see any of my trickers - I just leave it alone. There have been times, when I have asked the waiter for a second salad. At weddings we are there to celebrate the newly married couple. Just because, we have spent money on a gift, hotel or travel does not mean we have to expect a gourmet meal. It is nice if it is there, but if not - then so what?
    I have attended weddings, where the chicken was inedible - fish smelled like it was from several days ago, the veggies were cooked beyond mushy. Would I complain? Certainly not. One lousy meal should not take the joy out of celebrating the just married couple.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    This is no big deal.  I don't know of any couple that doesn't anticipate having a few vegetarians at their wedding.  I would just write a very nice note saying I would love to have a veg meal if that is an option.  I can't see why any couple would be offended by that.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    In Response to Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?:
    ... I think nowadays, most places that make food in mass quantities, are able to make something on the spot that is a veggie option.
    Posted by Peonie

    That is true.  Years back more people gave you a hard time.
         But for all I like a good pasta salad,  when they make it on the spot, it is usually the nutritional equivalent of 3/4 of a slice of bread,  yet they are giving it to people in place of the main protein course, in a 4 oz serving of pasta and minimal veg.  If you do not tell them in advance, they have cooked the extra meat already and just not served it, so they  are within their rights to economize.  But nowadays, though you cannot put it on your reply card unless you pay for the extra option (so 30 people do not take it even though meat eaters)  if you tell a caterer in advance through your host,  they cook fewer meat portions.  So your new meal  should have  something with cheese, tofu or egg  or other source of 9 or so grams of protein.  It is now cheaper than the meat they never cooked, so they owe it to the host to deliver REAL  protein in place of the meat.  Otherwise, they are cheating them of several dollars.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from winston17. Show winston17's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I thought i would post and get some advise, I had not idea i would get this much advice thank you all for your thoughts... i am more confused then ever.
    Truthfully i don't know the couple other then a hand full of encounters.  I have decided to ask on the reply card for veggie alternative. I don't agree with eating meat. I don't want to eat around it either, that defets the purpuse of having one less casualty.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    Winston, if you want to write it on the response card, go for it. If the bride and groom get offended, then I am sure they will let you know. I personally, don't think it's a big deal.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    Winston - someone pointed out that it is your choice, not a physical problem,  but that is not true.
         Once you have not eaten meat for a period of time, your body stops making the enzymes to digest it.
         This is why veg. who go back to eating meat, or get stuck with no alternative after months or years,  get physically ill the first few times they eat it.  It takes a while for your body to change back.
         Right now you are in the situation of a diabetic or someone with allergies - it is a physical limitation in addition to being a choice.
         I think you are right that they should not cook the extra meat only to throw it out.  It is wasteful, and it defeats the purpose if your reason for not eating meat is to reduce commercial killing of animals.
         Writing in with a request for a veggie choice is no longer grief for a hostess.  Vendors are used to it, and they just say, how many veg meals?  Fine.  It is already paid for.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I am a vegetarian and I would never put a special request on my RSVP card.  On a few occasions, the couple nicely gave me the veg option when I got there.  However, if not, there was always plenty for me to eat.  IMHO, in regards to the "casualty,"  the meals are already cooked and my DH eats the meat so it does not go to waste.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    Princess,
    How I agree with you!
    The host and hostess have enough things to think about. Why would I add to their worries. I just can't believe people getting upset, that they cannot have a full meal - just for one evening? Not going to kill anyone.
    I am attending weddings to enjoy a lovely couple tying the knot. Not to engorge on the food and the drinks.
    I have food allergies, but I would never mention it to anyone throwing a large party as a wedding reception. I eat what I can and leave the rest alone. Maybe I am in the minority. However, I have many friends, who feel the same way as I do.

    Ps: How are you feeling these days? Hopefully better.


    In Response to Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?:
    I am a vegetarian and I would never put a special request on my RSVP card.  On a few occasions, the couple nicely gave me the veg option when I got there.  However, if not, there was always plenty for me to eat.  IMHO, in regards to the "casualty,"  the meals are already cooked and my DH eats the meat so it does not go to waste.
    Posted by princess-cal

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    At my venue, there was a veggie option - not on the response card, but something they could prepare a small batch of ahead of time - which was a lot less expensive than the chicken and beef options.  I actually did have a couple respond "vegetarian" on the card (my mom's boss, whom she'd already told me were vegetarians) and it didn't bother me at all that they wrote that - I was glad they asked for it. 

    I would much rather a guest ask for a veggie meal than place an order for a meal they're not going to eat.  I know most people would consider that rude, hwoever, and not mention anything so I worked hard to ask around about veggie and allergies, etc.  From a "bride" perspective, I see nothing wrong with writing something like "I'd love a vegetarian meal, if possible."  It would surprise me if this was not a possibility with the venue.

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I am 100% going to have a vegetarian option at my wedding. I don't want to have to put any guests through this. I also know for a fact there will be at least 3 people coming who are vegetarians.

    But, if we didn't have that option, I would not be offended if someone wrote "vegetarian" on their response card. Like Heather, I would want to be able to tell my venue ahead of time.

     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    In Response to Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?:
    I am a vegetarian and I would never put a special request on my RSVP card.  On a few occasions, the couple nicely gave me the veg option when I got there.  However, if not, there was always plenty for me to eat.  IMHO, in regards to the "casualty,"  the meals are already cooked and my DH eats the meat so it does not go to waste.
    Posted by princess-cal


    Every year for Thanksgiving (until I found myself old enough not to attend), I was stuck eating bread and stuffing, because my mother refused to prepare something I would eat.  It may not be ideal, but there was always something for me to eat.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from summerbride09. Show summerbride09's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    On our response cards we had two options- fish or chicken. We had one card out of about 70 sent out, where one of DH's friends added a 3rd line and wrote in "vegetarian". That was the only vegetarian meal requested, and the venue had no issue with it.
     
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