Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from HTuck. Show HTuck's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    In Response to Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?:

    In Response to Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card? : Were you able to get vegetarian options for the 2 vegetarians you reached out to, but just couldn't offer it as an option upfront?
    Posted by ash

    Yes - fortunately our venue was able to (and I believe most would) accomodate any dietary need - its just that if you offered a 3rd option front and center, it was $10 more per person.

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    In Response to Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?:
    I would be mortified to know a vegetarian left my wedding hungry because they decided to just deal with what I was offered.... this was actually a big thing for me because I wanted everyone to be satisfied.... I unfortunately couldn't offer a veggie option on the menu becuase it was an extra $10 per person, so i reached out to the veggie and vegan person I knew and said please put it on the card.... but i was praying that someone that was a vegetarian that I wasn't aware of would write it - I would never want them to just eat around the steak - not to mention I would save money with them ordering a veggie dish.... so if they just ordered "to be nice" - then a very expensive filet would have been thrown away, that my parents paid for and they left hungry and stopped for take out on the way home......nobody wins.
    Posted by HTuck


    Nothing goes to waist.  DH doesn't like veggies.  So, when the meal arrives we do the "swap" - he gets my meat, I get his veggies.  Were both happy!!lol
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I have not read the replies, but, in response to the OP, I would staple a note to the reply card saying you became a vegetarian and if the place offers veggie option you'd like that, otherwise chicken is ok. and use a smiley face too and tell them you cant wait for the big day, blah blah. just because text can often be interpreted wrong and by doing this, you will not come across as demanding. heck, if someone wasnt going to eat the meal i was paying for, id like to know. i dont have money to spend on a meal that will go in the trash. being honest is the best for everyone.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    That's a good point, Missy.  I would like it if someone would let me know they're vegetarian, so we could make the appropriate arrangements for their meal.  Especially, if the veggie option is cheaper than the chicken (which it will most likely be).  Doesn't make sense to order a chicken option, and have the person eat around it.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I'm a recovering picky eater and I would hate to force a guest at my wedding to eat food they can't stomach. My MOH was a vegetarian for 11 years and recently started eating meat before my wedding. I told her that there wasn't a veggie option on the RSVP, but I had already asked the venue about it (when she was a vegetarian) and they said it'd be no problem to get her a veggie meal. She went with chicken, but I hope a vegetarian would have called me and told me they couldn't eat meat.

    I'll have prime rib whenever it's offered, but I really don't see much of a difference between a food allergy and being a vegetarian (regarding what you can't eat). I want my guests to be comfortable and enjoy their meals, not scrounge for morsels that they can eat.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I think anyone would want any of the guests comfortable with their meals.  At some weddings, it can be tough to please everyone, though.  If someone has a food allergy or is vegetarian/vegan, I would appreciate a call/e-mail letting me know.  Otherwise, I wouldn't know to make the right food choices for them. 

    It's tough.  I've been to many weddings where although I eat everything, I might not particularly like the food offered.  I won't make a big deal about it, and just eat what I can and move on. 

    I'm going to a wedding this weekend where I'm not sure if the food will be good or not.  No choice was offered, so it's all a surprise.  I won't be offended or make any negative remarks about it, though.  I'm honored to be invited.  The food is just an added bonus.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    Goodness,
    I think your attitude is one, everyone should consider. I have attended many weddings, where I really didn't like the food - and I am not a picky eater. I am allergic to eggplant f. ex., so I can' t eat it. But I would never mention it to the host on the RSVP card or otherwise. I will eat, what I can -- and leave the rest. For heavens sake - it is just ONE meal. I am there to celebrate the newly married couple - not to stuff myself.
    I think the same should go for vegetarians. They are 'allergic' to meat and fish. Believe me, I am one that go out of way to make them comfortable at my home. But when you are dealing with a large group, you cannot please everyone.
    As far as options - I think it is kind of the host to offer a couple of options, if they want - but I do not believe it is a must. If you have a party at home, do you send a list to everyone, what is served. No, you don't and neither do I.
    I am sure, due to your easy going attitude - you will have a great time at the wedding, you are attending this weekend - no matter, what they serve you. - P

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    For my wedding, we offered 3 options none of which are vegetarian/vegan.  As far as I know, there are a couple vegetarians coming to our wedding, and I'm sure they'll advise us, or we have already made note of it.  We will call the venue beforehand to let them know to prepare a couple vegetarian options. 

    I would be hurt if someone told me (if they weren't vegetarian) that the options offered were still not good enough or they complained.  My apologies, but if you can't find something (ANYTHING) to eat out of 3 options that we are paying a hefty penny for, then I can't help you.  Choose something when you RSVP, and move on.  I'm sure someone will say that the beef was dry, though.  There's always one in the crowd.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from TarheelChief. Show TarheelChief's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    Are you breaking out of the of the carnivore closet?
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from BR88. Show BR88's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    You can definitely request a vegetarian item, even if it's not listed on the reply card.  And for those of you who say, just eat the salad, SALAD IS NOT A MEAL!!!  I've been a vegetarian for over 15 years and my close friends have all told me that even though there is not a vegetarian option on the card, they can definitely request it.  Even the weddings I've been invited to where they don't know I'm a vegetarian, it's never been a problem to write it on the card (and I usually call them to let them know too.)  I believe a lot of venues charge more if a couple has more than a certain number of options, but they are willing to accomodate (without added cost) a few additional plates for special dietary concerns (i.e. vegetarian, kosher, etc.)  Do not feel bad about asking for it, vegetarian entres are easy to make!
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    BB88,
    I agree with you - salad is not a meal for some people, while others - like myself But there will usually be some vegetables, rice or pasta and rolls served with the entrees. That could make a nice meal. But if it should be, it will not hurt anyone to just eat the salad and nothing else once in a rare while.

    If it is not offered, I feel it is rude to ask for another option. The bride has enough going on as is already. If there are more than 2 options, an added few dollars more will usually be added to ALL the guest's meals. Kind of silly, since a veggie meal is less expensive to serve. But that is usually what happens.

    A polite guest would just eat what he or she is able to, from what is being offered - without complaining.

    In Response to Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?:
    You can definitely request a vegetarian item, even if it's not listed on the reply card.  And for those of you who say, just eat the salad, SALAD IS NOT A MEAL!!!  I've been a vegetarian for over 15 years and my close friends have all told me that even though there is not a vegetarian option on the card, they can definitely request it.  Even the weddings I've been invited to where they don't know I'm a vegetarian, it's never been a problem to write it on the card (and I usually call them to let them know too.)  I believe a lot of venues charge more if a couple has more than a certain number of options, but they are willing to accomodate (without added cost) a few additional plates for special dietary concerns (i.e. vegetarian, kosher, etc.)  Do not feel bad about asking for it, vegetarian entres are easy to make!
    Posted by BR88
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I knew my sister-in-law is veggie, and I called her before her invitation arrived and let her know that we'd already arranged with the venue to serve her a vegetarian meal.  However, if she'd gotten it and called me to ask if there was an option (not to demand one) I'd have been OK with that.  What are vegetarians supposed to do, shut up and eat the green beans and potatoes?  The OP is a new vegetarian, and maybe she doesn't make a big deal of it and the bride might not know.

    I think it's a matter of how the vegetarian guest approaches it.  If she says she's happy with the salad and side dishes but is hoping there might be a silent veggie option that can be ordered instead, I don't see the harm.  If she calls up irate that the choices are both meat and demands a veggie option, well, that's obviously rude.  Not that this OP was going to do that - just an example.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    Posters,
    Have you noticed, the edit button is broken again? Could not get in to edit.

    On my latest post above my second sentence was "bitten off". Should have read:
    ----while others - like myself - would be perfectly happy with just a large salad.---

    I apologize.


     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Ihavemyhats. Show Ihavemyhats's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I have arranged meals for large functions that were not weddings.  We sent cards out with "choose chicken or fish."  People always wrote in "vegetarian" and I just tell the hotel "30 chicken, 40 fish, and 2 vegetarian."  Never a problem.  I would say write it on the reply card, and more importantly, RETURN THE DARN REPLY CARD WELL BEFORE THE DEADLINE!
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from FriarGirl03. Show FriarGirl03's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    We put "Stuffed Chicken" and "Prime Rib" on the reply cards, but I'm fully expecting the people with dietary requests to write them in. I'm paying a lot of money for people to eat at my wedding and I don't want to waste it on someone trying to make a dinner out of salad, potato and carrots. I already know of two people who need gluten-free dinners (one of which is a band member, but whatever) and a few vegetarians. We're all adults - if you can't ask for what you want, I can't help you. I want my guests to be happy at my wedding but you've gotta meet me halfway and let me know if you need something special.

    PS. Why was this thread revived from 6 months ago?
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Ihavemyhats. Show Ihavemyhats's posts

    Cilantro


    The reason some people think Broccoli is inedibly bitter and some find that Cilantro tastes like soap is genetic.  If you have no copies of the specific sequence, the food will taste great.  If you have one copy, the food is a little off, but you can get used to it.  If both genes have that particular sequence, the food is inedible.  I believe that many more food likes/dislikes will be found to be genetic in the future.  So if broccoli tastes good, pity those like Poppy Bush who can't stand it.  And pity those like me, who love Mexican, Thai and Indian food but can not go to many restaurants because the food is loaded with Cilantro.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    Friar girl, a member of the BAND is requesting a gluten-free dinner?  AYFKM???

    That is ridiculous! 
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from FriarGirl03. Show FriarGirl03's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    You know Cosmo, that's pretty much the same reaction my FMIL had. The way I see it, it doesn't cost me extra money or effort and I need to not have band members with upset stomaches during my reception. So I'm letting it go.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from ash. Show ash's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    So funny, this is an old post for those who did not look at the date--this meal has long been eaten, but I was reading my advice and I've decided I'm disappointed with the way it sounded, though I still agree with myself on principal (ok,, that sounded really strange).

    I think my issue was that the person wanted to write "I'll just have a salad" on the card and I thought that sounded a little too much like my grandma and her "don't turn up the heat for me, I'll just put on another 2 sweaters".  I do think its ok for people who are vegetarians to write "veg option if possible" on the card or call and ask if its possible.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Shortylicious. Show Shortylicious's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    In Response to Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?:
    We put "Stuffed Chicken" and "Prime Rib" on the reply cards, but I'm fully expecting the people with dietary requests to write them in. I'm paying a lot of money for people to eat at my wedding and I don't want to waste it on someone trying to make a dinner out of salad, potato and carrots. I already know of two people who need gluten-free dinners (one of which is a band member, but whatever) and a few vegetarians. We're all adults - if you can't ask for what you want, I can't help you. I want my guests to be happy at my wedding but you've gotta meet me halfway and let me know if you need something special. PS. Why was this thread revived from 6 months ago?
    Posted by FriarGirl03


    Friar Girl-
    I totally agree with you! As a host, I would expect my guests to notify me (ahead of time) of any requests so I could accomodate them. I think it's ridiculous to expect vegetarians or people with allergies to eat around the food. I know the wedding isn't all about the food (and drinks) but as the host, I would want all of my guests to be satisfied. I had a few special requests at my wedding and I was very pleased to meet them (as was the venue).
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I totally agree.  Although, I have to say just writing it in and sending in the altered RSVP is a little presumptuous.  I'd hope anyone would call the bride or groom (depending on the relationship) about it.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I like Ash' suggestion: "vegetarian, IF POSSIBLE". That is being polite, not rude or demanding.
    We hosted the rehearsal dinner, for our son. 90 people (included all the OOTs) of whom we knew 17 were vegetarians. So we included a 3rd option to the tune of $8 pp for everyone. Fine!
    When the RSVPs came back (when they finally did come back), we had several notes written in on the RSVP cards.
    1) No eggs. 2) No garlic and onions. 3) No root vegetables. So we asked the chef to make a veggie dinner without the items mentioned. He came up with a pasta marinara and eggplant parm. Plus they got the salad, the sides of veggies etc. like the rest of the guests.
    The following evening at the reception, even though the bride and groom wanted a served plate dinner, my DIL's parents decided to serve a buffet style dinner to please the vegetarians. They could pick and choose. The venue had every dish marked with it's ingredients. Still very loudly, I heard one of our guests say, "Pasta AGAIN?"

    Question for you vegetarians. What would you serve as an entree, that is NOT eggplant and is NOT a pasta dish? I am not trying being argumentive, only hoping to get some good suggestions, since I often have to deal with this dilemma.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I think what makes a good option depends on the individual vegetarian, there are so many kinds.  A vegan (one who doesn't eat any animal product whatsoever including eggs, dairy, etc.) is the toughest to accomodate, while someone who just avoids red meat is a lot easier to provide alternatives for.  My SIL eats fish, so it was super easy to provide her an alternative meal that wasn't pasta.

    I love the idea of adding "if possible" on the RSVP if the vegetarian doesn't want to call the bride/groom and marking the choice they'd prefer if there isn't another option, as well.  That takes the presumptuous of just writing in something different out of the equation.  Very nice solution.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Scorpio75. Show Scorpio75's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    In Response to Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?:
    They could pick and choose. The venue had every dish marked with it's ingredients. Still very loudly, I heard one of our guests say, "Pasta AGAIN?" Question for you vegetarians. What would you serve as an entree, that is NOT eggplant and is NOT a pasta dish? I am not trying being argumentive, only hoping to get some good suggestions, since I often have to deal with this dilemma.
    Posted by pingo


    That was pretty darn rude of those vegatarians to verbalize their dissapointment. As a meat eater I don't verbalize "Rubber chicken AGAIN?"  because it would be rude.  It is wonderful to try to be accomodating for others but sometimes it is easiest to go for the the simplest option which probably would be pasta with some veggies in it. 

    In the context of a wedding seriously how hard is it to buck up and have the pasta primevera or what ever is being served?  How many weddings are you going to that it is that much of a chore?  I don't look at a wedding as someplace that is gonna wow me with cutting edge cuisine (unless perhaps the B&G are foodies). 

    Is it expected to have a pasta dish yeah probably but I am generally expecting a  chicken dish or fish or steak that is too well done for my personal tastes but it is relatively harmless.  It is a single meal, grow up and put your big girl (or guy) pants on and have a meal and not a culinary destination.

    Pingo- if you are having personal dinner parties that you need to have a veggie option then perhaps you would be better served by asking your veggie friends for tried and true recipes.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Recent vegetarian.....how do I respond to the chicken or beef card?

    I can't imagine complaining about the food at a wedding - especially loudly enough for the bride and groom to overhear you.  It's a free meal.  I like free meals.  I eat what I can, and if I can't, I eat other people's bread.

    If all else fails, I sneak out, find a Wendy's, and come back for the dancing.  But I don't insult the people who are feeding me by letting them know that the meal doesn't meet my personal standards.
     
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