Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from sarahbth. Show sarahbth's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

       Edit -  This is Whatawag.  I just realized after posting that Sarahbth must have left her cookies on my laptop while reading/ posting.  So ignore the name and Avatar .
      I would not think it right to have a cash bar for a close, intimate group of friends and family, and their SO.  Not ever in my home would I expect others to supply things for a party I / we alone planned and hosted.  Not in a restaurant.

         However, if the host and hostess actually prefer that no alcohol at all  be provided, or available in any way, that is within their right and perfectly fine.

         I have been at RD's as a guest, member of the wp, and just as family, where the hosts felt that where B & G each had a pub crawl Bach and B'ette party,  a reunion with friends and family from OOT (held in a bar),  and a wedding coming in two days,  all flowing with alcohol.  Everyone present but the grandparents and parents of bride and groom had already been drinking 2 nights within a week.  They saw no need for another night of drinking, for anyone, until the wedding.
         Alcohol is not a need.  A few people grumbled.  Most people there rarely had more than one drinking occasion (if that) in an average week,  and having had 2 and another coming in 2 days (wedding), saw no need for a fourth drinking occasion in an eight day period.  They were worried about fitting into clothes, not looking bloated in pictures, and getting real restful sleep.  Wine and beer would have made problems.

         So I see both sides of this.

         Bottom line:  When family and B & G get together  early in planning, and decide who will host the RD, that is the time to set pre-conditions, like that the B & G want alcohol served.  If it is not discussed then,  then the planners or hosts "own the event."  They get to make the decisions.
         If money is the issue, they may accept money and serve liquor.  If they simply do not want it for any reason, no one including a B & G who should have spoken earlier, should be fighting over it.  Hosts rule.  Their decision is final.
         B & G and those paying for and planning own the wedding.  Shower and RD hosts/hostesses past the initial discussion point own their events.
         Whatawag   Oh god, now I have to go edit all my posts.AHHHHH!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Scorpio75. Show Scorpio75's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question... : Marie Calendar makes a delicious cheesy chicken pot pie.  It's nothing but cheese and chicken (hence the name).  Mmmmmm....
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]
    I love chicken pot pie, my favorite is Pepperidge Farm, but I cannot find them in any grocery store anymore.  We have tried Marie Calendar's, Swanson, Boston Market etc and nothign beats Pepperidge Farm.

    I don't like beer either but will occasionally take a sip of DH's Guinness.  I will drink wine but I am not about to open a bottle just for myself so I often just go with a diet coke.  I am not one to give into peer pressure just to make someone else happy and saddle me with a drink that I do not like.  I have no problem telling the person to go scr3w, either politely (the first time) and not so politely if they persist in giving me a hard time.  Life it is too short to allow people to pressure me and not let them know that it is unacceptable.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...:
    [QUOTE]I'm not a big fan of open bar @ any kind of function, but with all the weddings i've been in, the bar has always been OPEN @ the RD... I think this presents a sticky, at best, situation.  There could be a  bajillion reasons why they don't want to pay for the liquor @ the rd.  Approach this as diplomatically as possible, and offer to pay if you can afford it.... best wishes and keep us posted! 
    Posted by laryan[/QUOTE]

    Hi there Lary - get your cyber-butt over to the 'OT - I miss my old friends' thread!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    (sarcasm font) Because if you're NOT pregnant and NOT drinking, you must be a freak of nature!! 

    Would it be inappropriate to respond with, "No, are you an alcoholic?" Innocent



    In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...:
    [QUOTE]trex, you bet they'll ask if you're pregnant if you turn down alcohol.  People are so rude!
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    Well, I think the answer to this thread is:
    • offer alcohol if you can, but a fountain of ginger ale or diet coke would be great
    • have a separate room for the chicken pot pie
    • everyone needs a delicious cannoli filled with caramel and chocolate
    I think that about covers it.
    Laughing

    Liz, we're barely scratching the surface on the weirdness...maybe I'll sing my cheese song for you next week. If you're really, really lucky. Surprised
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    I LOVE chicken pot pie.  It's gotta be one of my top 5 favorite foods.  Why oh why must it be so fattening?

    WPP you just reminded me.  Last wedding we went to, DH asked if it was an open bar.  The bartender said yes.  DH ordered a coke and the bartender handed him a CAN OF COKE and said, That will be 2 dollars.  Huh??
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    I am making a chicken pot pie RIGHT now for lunch because all this talk of it got me craving it. But I am however, not having an alocholic drink along with it....
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...:
    [QUOTE]I LOVE chicken pot pie.  It's gotta be one of my top 5 favorite foods.  Why oh why must it be so fattening? WPP you just reminded me.  Last wedding we went to, DH asked if it was an open bar.  The bartender said yes.  DH ordered a coke and the bartender handed him a CAN OF COKE and said, That will be 2 dollars.  Huh??
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]

    Fra, I will Fed Ex any chicken pot pie I get directly to you!

    Was the bartender messing with him? That's so weird.

    You just reminded me of a bartender story too. DH's cousin's wedding was a lovely backyard shindig. I'm not sure if the caterer did the booze too, but there was a bartender in the DJ tent and a menu of what was offered. Right before the ceremony started--because DH likes to be prepared--he went up to the bartender, asked for a beer, and gave him a $20. The bartender took the $20 and said, "Sorry, I don't have change. But I'll just remember you, so keep coming back and we'll use this $20 for your other drinks."

    DH was momentarily flustered by the awkwardness of this--really, the bartender will just remember out of over 100 people?--but the music started and the bride started walking down the aisle, so DH had to get back. Well, he went up later for a beer and the bartender asked for money. DH said, "Remember, I gave you the $20 before?" and the bartender stared at him like he was crazy. Wouldn't give back the money or the beer. Sooo awkward. Somehow, they worked it out, but it was a terrible, Larry David-esque situation. 
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...:
    [QUOTE]I LOVE chicken pot pie.  It's gotta be one of my top 5 favorite foods.  Why oh why must it be so fattening? WPP you just reminded me.  Last wedding we went to, DH asked if it was an open bar.  The bartender said yes.  DH ordered a coke and the bartender handed him a CAN OF COKE and said, That will be 2 dollars.  Huh??
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]

    The bartender probably thought he asked if he was open as in available to get him a drink!  Regardless, he should've known what your DH was asking for.

    I can have a bite of chicken pot pie, but not from the inside portions of it.  I like the crust, and that's about it.

    As far as cocktails, LOVE red wine and champagne.  Those are my drinks of choice with my meals.  Actually, I drink only wine and champagne lately... so, never mind.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    that's the kind of awkward situation that makes people hate cash bars.


    In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question... : Fra, I will Fed Ex any chicken pot pie I get directly to you! Was the bartender messing with him? That's so weird. You just reminded me of a bartender story too. DH's cousin's wedding was a lovely backyard shindig. I'm not sure if the caterer did the booze too, but there was a bartender in the DJ tent and a menu of what was offered. Right before the ceremony started--because DH likes to be prepared--he went up to the bartender, asked for a beer, and gave him a $20. The bartender took the $20 and said, "Sorry, I don't have change. But I'll just remember you, so keep coming back and we'll use this $20 for your other drinks." DH was momentarily flustered by the awkwardness of this--really, the bartender will just remember out of over 100 people?--but the music started and the bride started walking down the aisle, so DH had to get back. Well, he went up later for a beer and the bartender asked for money. DH said, "Remember, I gave you the $20 before?" and the bartender stared at him like he was crazy. Wouldn't give back the money or the beer. Sooo awkward. Somehow, they worked it out, but it was a terrible, Larry David-esque situation. 
    Posted by WhirledPeasPlease[/QUOTE]
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    Just recently at the wedding at the Brookmeadow CC, the bartender accidentally erased our whole tab, so he told my FI he was just going to charge us for 6 Coors Lights. We were like, fine by us! :)
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    Wow WPP that is funny/awkward!!!  And why would he not have change at the beginning of the night? 

    Yeah, I figure the bartender thought DH was asking if the bar was open for service... Lost in translation... But many other weird things occured at that wedding!!  OK weird doesn't sound nice, let's say atypical. 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    $2 for a CAN of coke??? Not even a bottle? What a rip-off!

    In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...:
    [QUOTE]Wow WPP that is funny/awkward!!!  And why would he not have change at the beginning of the night?  Yeah, I figure the bartender thought DH was asking if the bar was open for service... Lost in translation... But many other weird things occured at that wedding!!  OK weird doesn't sound nice, let's say atypical. 
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question... : Fra, I will Fed Ex any chicken pot pie I get directly to you! Was the bartender messing with him? That's so weird. You just reminded me of a bartender story too. DH's cousin's wedding was a lovely backyard shindig. I'm not sure if the caterer did the booze too, but there was a bartender in the DJ tent and a menu of what was offered. Right before the ceremony started--because DH likes to be prepared--he went up to the bartender, asked for a beer, and gave him a $20. The bartender took the $20 and said, "Sorry, I don't have change. But I'll just remember you, so keep coming back and we'll use this $20 for your other drinks." DH was momentarily flustered by the awkwardness of this--really, the bartender will just remember out of over 100 people?--but the music started and the bride started walking down the aisle, so DH had to get back. Well, he went up later for a beer and the bartender asked for money. DH said, "Remember, I gave you the $20 before?" and the bartender stared at him like he was crazy. Wouldn't give back the money or the beer. Sooo awkward. Somehow, they worked it out, but it was a terrible, Larry David-esque situation. 
    Posted by WhirledPeasPlease[/QUOTE]

    That is so odd and uncomfortable!!  I'm glad it all worked out in the end, but wow... how awkward.  I'm curious why the bartender didn't have any change to break a $20.  I understand it's the beginning of the night, but did he really think that people are just walking around with $1 in their pockets? 
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Bar Question...

    Holy c.rap, $2 is nuts for a can of coke! I glossed over that part.

    Yeah, DH came over to me and said, "This is what just happened. I don't know what to do." We spent the next 45 minutes strategizing.
     

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