Rehearsal dinner

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Rehearsal dinner

    I'm working on the details for our rehearsal dinner and just wondering who typically gets invited to this event?  Specifically, are you inviting your grandparents?  Out of town guests?  Wedding party spouses/dates?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    We invited:

    parents
    grandparents
    BMs and GMs (and their spouses/SOs)

    I think a cousin and her spouse was thrown in there too. My MIL handled the rehearsal dinner and guest list. Some people invite OOT guests, but then it getes ginormous and is basically a pre-reception reception. 
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from FriarGirl03. Show FriarGirl03's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    We invited the grandparents and the wedding party's dates. We also invited our readers, the musician, the pastor and their dates. We didn't invite out of town guests. As it was, our RD was almost 50 people.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    As per many discussions about this over the last few years here, it varies widely and basically depends on what you want to do.  There doesn't seem to be a consensus about who must/should be invited. 

    We had just immediate family and wedding participants.  However, often close family from OOT are also invited to maximize special visit time that is always a lost cause during the reception from that perspective.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    1.  You don't have to have an RD at all, if you don't want to.

    2.   The bare minimum is the bride, groom, and wedding party and spouses/SOs.

    3.   Next, add the B & G's parents and their spouses/SOs.

    4.   Next, add other ceremony participants -- readers, soloist, etc. and spouses/SOs. 

    5.   Next, add other close relatives such as grandparents, godparents, other special guests, etc.

    6.   Next, add anyone else you want, if you want.

    You may invite the officiant and guest if you want but it is not required.  You may include children (flower girls, ring boys, kids of above guests) if you want, but again not required.

    (The above order is my idea, not a hard-and-fast rule.)

    Remember, it can be beer and pizza in your backyard, or a mini-reception for a hundred.  Whatever works for you. 
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    We had about 30 people at our RD.  We invited:
     
    The wedding party (only 4 out of 13 had significant others and 2 of those were our brother's fiancees)

    Our immediate families

    My uncle from out of town, groom's aunts and uncles from the area, and his grandmother (his mother paid, so it was her decision to invite aunts and uncles and was, of course, fine with us)

    I think it's a nice gesture to invite the officiant.  Often times they will decline anyway, unless they are close with the family.  Our officiant was also a groomsman, so he was invited.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    What everyone else said.

    If you're not paying for it yourselves, you should consult with whomever is paying to get a sense of how much they were thinking of spending.  My in-laws paid for ours, so I consulted with my MIL before inviting anyone.  I will say, that was a bit stressful because I didn't know how many people I could invite without it seeming excessive.  Not that I wanted very many - we ended up with under 20 people and everyone I wanted to be there was there.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    My RD had our parents, DH's uncle from OOT, our siblings, our officiant (who is a friend) and our attendants. All in all about 16 people.

    I echo everyone else, check with who's hosting and get their opinions on who they want there and come to an agreement.

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rirlo01. Show Rirlo01's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    We're doing what seems to be standard among the posters here and inviting our parents, the wedding party (with dates) and the officiant.  We are without grandparents and our siblings are all in the wedding party. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from FriarGirl03. Show FriarGirl03's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    In Response to Re: Rehearsal dinner:
    Remember, it can be beer and pizza in your backyard, or a mini-reception for a hundred.  Whatever works for you. 
    Posted by cosmogirl


    We went for beer in the backyard. My ILs said they would pay for whatever we wanted, but that would come out of the money they'd be able to give us for the wedding. It wasn't really a hard decision for us.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    I agree with everone else here. There are no fast rules for whom to invite for a RD. I would find it strange though, if parents (and step parents) were excluded. We invited OTT guests. Several came from abroad. Couldn't imagine them fend for themselves, after a long and costly trip.
    But if your budget is tight, then just have a potluck with beer and wine in your back yard. Or if needed borrow one from someone else. No one says, it has to be an elaborate affair.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    I won't repeat what everyone else has already stated, we did the same, about 25 people.  
    But as for OOT guests, if you have a lot of them, then no it doesn't make too much sense.  But if you have a close friend or someone that is traveling far it would be nice to invite them, not mandatory, but nice. For instance, my parent's friends came from England, to us, traveling that far for a wedding the least we could do was invite them to dinner the night before.  
    We drove to my friends wedding in western Ny 5 or 6  hour drive, and we were invited to the RD. They did not have many others traveling that far. 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rapunzel41. Show Rapunzel41's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    We're having about 20 at our rehearsal dinner, and once dinner is over, any OOTers already at the hotel can join us at the bar for drinks.  It's a good compromise and my FMIL isn't stuck paying for a mini-reception.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    depends on the grandparents!  I know my father would be more happy to not HAVE to go!

    But if they are social and interested, yes, it would be nice to invite them.

    Regarding out of towners - depends on your guest list.  You'll know if it's approprate.

    At wedding A - all the out of towners were in the wedding party except one.  She was invited because it seemed right not to leave her alone.

    At wedding B - most of the out of towners were family and hadn't seen each other in awhile.  We knew they'd be just as happy having a hotel room party so we didn't invite them.  

    At wedding C - one out of towner was a very dear friend of my Mother's.  We invited her so she could see my Mother since it had been so long. 
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    In Response to Re: Rehearsal dinner:
    depends on the grandparents!  I know my father would be more happy to not HAVE to go! But if they are social and interested, yes, it would be nice to invite them. Posted by downtoearth


    Very good point. this was the reason our grandparents weren't there. DH's didn't want to have to spend two nights in the city (they live an hour away) and mine just wanted to relax after travelling (one from NH the other from FL).
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    We have attended several weddings as OTT guests and were not invited to the RD. We did not feel bad at all.
    Like some poster said, it all depends. Some have it grand, some have it intimate. I prefer the intimate parties.
    I still think a backyard RD party w/beer and wine and some simple food is the way to go. Especially for a RD celebration. If the budget is tight even more so.
    We have also been invited to RDs, that were mini wedding receptions. They were fun, but truly unnecessary.
    Everyone has to make his or her own choice.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

    Re: Rehearsal dinner

    We are inviting all out of towners, all parents, grandparents, cousins, etc., wedding party plus their dates, and the priest.

    We have about 75 people on our list....well, my parents and his parents do, which is totally fine.

     

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