RSVP Vent

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Colby2000. Show Colby2000's posts

    RSVP Vent

    So ladies, please forgive me but I need to vent.  I'm almost three weeks out from my wedding and astonished at the number of people who think nothing of not returning an RSVP card, or even responding to multiple telephone calls and emails asking if they are coming to the wedding.  Even more, some people "aren't sure" if they are able to come and will "tell us later."  So, is that a yes or a no?  Would you like a seat, and a dinner?

    I realize that my wedding is not a high priority for some people, but come on, this is basic ettiquette!  I realize people have stuff going on in their life, but how hard is it to put something in the mail, or even hit reply to an email?!

    Ok, my bridezilla moment has passed!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    Colby, so sorry to hear about your RSVP aggravation.  We have ALL been there and know what you're going through.  Has your "reply by" deadline passed?  I got most of mine around that date, and some a few days after.

    If the deadline's passed and you still haven't heard, be sure to divide up the list as appropriate -- i.e. give your FIL's guests to them to call, etc.

    Good luck! 
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    Ohhh, we've all been there and it's so obnoxious when people don't return RSVPs! Out of the 35 invitations I sent to my side of the family, I got 3 RSVPs and had to call everyone else.

    Good luck! You'll get this figured out and can then move on to having an awesome wedding. :) 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    They don't know if they're available for a few hours in three weeks?  To watch you get married?  I'm committed to attending weddings that will take place next year.

    Maybe I'm a b*tch, but I would call them and if they said they don't know, I would just say, "Ok, then, we need to get a final count to the caterers, so I just won't include you.  I'm sorry you won't be able to make it."
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Colby2000. Show Colby2000's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    Thanks ladies!  Yup, the deadline was last week.  Some have come in late and some others have verbally told us that it is in the mail.  Whatever.  Still annoying but at least they have told us.  Others just are not responding or saying the "aren't sure."  It is as if this is a backyard BBQ - which still I would feel I needed to respond if I were invited. 

    My FI is doing his share of calling, as are our mothers, but I feel as if I am stuck and not able to move forward.  Oh well, I guess this is a rite of passage!
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    I agree, at this point you should really stress to people that if they don't RSVP you'll assume they aren't coming and won't have seats or meals.
    It's not mean to tell them that, it's the unfortunate truth. It's their fault for not RSVPing, not yours, don't let anyone twist that around for you.

    I've been there and I did have to let a few people know that if they didn't RSVP there just wouldn't be room for them. For some of them, it was the kick in the pants they needed.
    No one showed up unexpectedly at the wedding (thank God!)

    In Response to Re: RSVP Vent:
    [QUOTE]They don't know if they're available for a few hours in three weeks?  To watch you get married?  I'm committed to attending weddings that will take place next year. Maybe I'm a b*tch, but I would call them and if they said they don't know, I would just say, "Ok, then, we need to get a final count to the caterers, so I just won't include you.  I'm sorry you won't be able to make it."
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from VanHassle. Show VanHassle's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    we had two members of the bridal not send in their cards.  (our wedding is next weekend)---we finally just called and asked what they wanted to eat.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from wendy98. Show wendy98's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    I am so sorry to hear about this sadly it is not a rare occurance, there have been many a bride that has had to vent about this and sadly there will be many more.  Feel free to vent and educate where you can.


     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    In Response to Re: RSVP Vent:
    [QUOTE]They don't know if they're available for a few hours in three weeks?  To watch you get married?  I'm committed to attending weddings that will take place next year. Maybe I'm a b*tch, but I would call them and if they said they don't know, I would just say, "Ok, then, we need to get a final count to the caterers, so I just won't include you.  I'm sorry you won't be able to make it."
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    I couldn't agree more.  Perfect response.  It's the truth, and, the fact is, all you CAN do for logistical reasons.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    Oooh, this makes steam come out of my ears!!!  I would get SUCH satisfaction out of not making name cards for them, not giving them seats at tables, and watching them be all confused if they do bother to show up.

    The evil part of me would greatly enjoy that.  Come and get me, etiquette police.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from booklover. Show booklover's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    And may I add that there will be the ones you have to track down to finally get an answer from, they finally say yes, we'll be there, and then they won't show up.  It's happened to me twice now by the same cousin and his wife (once to my wedding, once to another event).  I'd love to write him off the guest list for the future, but he's family!  Arrgghhh!!!!!
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    twice from the same people? That's awful! Some people just have no respect for others.

    In Response to Re: RSVP Vent:
    [QUOTE]And may I add that there will be the ones you have to track down to finally get an answer from, they finally say yes, we'll be there, and then they won't show up.  It's happened to me twice now by the same cousin and his wife (once to my wedding, once to another event).  I'd love to write him off the guest list for the future, but he's family!  Arrgghhh!!!!!
    Posted by booklover[/QUOTE]
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    I'm going through the same thing with my RSVP's.  The "due date" is tomorrow, and we're still waiting on a ton!  Really frustrating.  People are all, "Oh, we can't come".  That's nice, send the card!!
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    I think we all need to band together and create a Public Service Announcement about people not rsvping. It's the one complaint that I hear from every single person I know who's ever either gotten married or hosted a similarly large event.
    People need to know it's not okay and drives people crazy.

    In Response to Re: RSVP Vent:
    [QUOTE]I'm going through the same thing with my RSVP's.  The "due date" is tomorrow, and we're still waiting on a ton!  Really frustrating.  People are all, "Oh, we can't come".  That's nice, send the card!!
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from deborahs2005. Show deborahs2005's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    This is why it was best for me to elope.  My reaction would have been to wait at least 10 days after the deadline passed and send out a nice card to all who didn't bother to respond saying how sorry I was they couldn't make it.  The very next gift giving occasion would have earned them a book on ettiquette.  With much love and kisses, of course ;-)
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    In Response to Re: RSVP Vent:
    [QUOTE]I think we all need to band together and create a Public Service Announcement about people not rsvping. It's the one complaint that I hear from every single person I know who's ever either gotten married or hosted a similarly large event. People need to know it's not okay and drives people crazy. In Response to Re: RSVP Vent :
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]

    I can't figure out if these people are clueless, or flat out don't care.  Whatever.  Today is our final due date.  We gave our guests over 6 weeks to reply to our wedding, so it's really frustrating that they haven't been able to just check off a meal choice, and send it back.  Now, my mom and my fiance's mom have to start making phone calls to their guests (the sides) asking them to send in the cards.  We didn't want to do that.  It's a shame that some people are just NOTORIOUS for not sending cards in.  So, when you think they will, they still don't.  When you think they will be responsible, and might "surprise you", yeah... they still don't. 

    It has driven me nuts wondering why they can't just do it. 
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    if it's any consolation, I coordinate events at work and it's like pulling teeth to get people to just hit "reply" on an email and let me know they're coming. They don't even have to pick a meal or mail it. People really are just clueless. it's like they think every event in life is like an open house where you can just breeze in whenever you feel like it and there'll always be room.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    In Response to Re: RSVP Vent:
    [QUOTE]if it's any consolation, I coordinate events at work and it's like pulling teeth to get people to just hit "reply" on an email and let me know they're coming. They don't even have to pick a meal or mail it. People really are just clueless. it's like they think every event in life is like an open house where you can just breeze in whenever you feel like it and there'll always be room.
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]

    Pink, that's funny.  I do the same exact work, so that's why I don't get it.  It's so easy to just reply!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    ha ha ha!

    In Response to Re: RSVP Vent:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP Vent : Pink, that's funny.  I do the same exact work, so that's why I don't get it.  It's so easy to just reply!
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    In Response to Re: RSVP Vent:
    [QUOTE]And may I add that there will be the ones you have to track down to finally get an answer from, they finally say yes, we'll be there, and then they won't show up.  It's happened to me twice now by the same cousin and his wife (once to my wedding, once to another event).  I'd love to write him off the guest list for the future, but he's family!  Arrgghhh!!!!!
    Posted by booklover[/QUOTE]

    I hear ya booklover!!  I had to track down my cousin (and her gf) on Facebook, where she said they would both attend.  Of course they didn't and her excuse was clearly a lie.  Now my brother is getting married 6 months later and I really wanted to tell him not to bother inviting her!!!  Or if you do, and she says yes, don't bother actually paying for the meals.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Colby2000. Show Colby2000's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    Goodness, good luck getting the last RSVPs!  We finally gave up on some of ours.  We got verbal replies that two were coming, but no card and no meal choice - so we just chose for them.  The last couple we haven't heard from.  Told us they'd get back to us, but they probably couldn't make it.  We aren't giving them a seat or ordering them a meal.  

    Actually, it is kind of funny.  My FI and I decided to do a few dance classes rather late so are just taking a few now (16 days to go!)  I tend to get very serious during the lessons and my FI tries to get me to laugh.  While we are practicing, like we are dancing at the wedding, he goes "Can you believe so and so actually came?!"   He's envisioning us saying that the night of the wedding during our first dance.  It is kind of cute, well, maybe only to me, but nonetheless we are waiting to see if there are any surprise guests! 
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from ash. Show ash's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    Well, on the bright side, at least someone thought of those cards.  Used to be you had to write your response on your own Very Nice Stationary.  How many do you think you'd get back then?Tongue out
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    In Response to Re: RSVP Vent:
    [QUOTE]Goodness, good luck getting the last RSVPs!  We finally gave up on some of ours.  We got verbal replies that two were coming, but no card and no meal choice - so we just chose for them.  The last couple we haven't heard from.  Told us they'd get back to us, but they probably couldn't make it.  We aren't giving them a seat or ordering them a meal.   Actually, it is kind of funny.  My FI and I decided to do a few dance classes rather late so are just taking a few now (16 days to go!)  I tend to get very serious during the lessons and my FI tries to get me to laugh.  While we are practicing, like we are dancing at the wedding, he goes "Can you believe so and so actually came?!"   He's envisioning us saying that the night of the wedding during our first dance.  It is kind of cute, well, maybe only to me, but nonetheless we are waiting to see if there are any surprise guests! 
    Posted by Colby2000[/QUOTE]

    Colby, that's so cute!!  My FI and I are doing the same thing.  We've taken plenty of dance classes to ready ourselves, but for the next two upcoming Saturdays, we'll be taking one on one classes to help teach us a routine.  I know my FI, and he'll be counting the steps the whole time.  We probably won't even be talking to each other on our wedding day during our first dance.  Too funny!
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from whatawagSBNy. Show whatawagSBNy's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    In Response to Re: RSVP Vent:
    [QUOTE]Well, on the bright side, at least someone thought of those cards.  Used to be you had to write your response on your own Very Nice Stationary.  How many do you think you'd get back then?
    Posted by ash[/QUOTE]

         Probably a greater percentage  when that was the custom, because people took manners more seriously then.   And took themselves and their own pleasures less seriously.

      A friend of my Mom's was in tears after calling some people 3 weeks before her daughter's wedding.  He nephew said, well September Saturdays are iffy,  we do not want to say yes and have it turn out that that is the last good beach day, which means we would say yes then miss the wedding.  Can't we just tell you like 3 days before, when the weather forecast is pretty certain?   Another said, the thing is, lots of our neighbors are going in with us on groups ads for yard sales 8-4, and our daughter has not got back to us on whether or not she can take care of our yard after 2:30 so we can dress up right and get out the door by 5.  WHAT
         It's a pervasive us first, then the rest of the world attitude, not a matter of getting the D!!!!d reply in the mail.  Gotta keep our options open. 
         Love it when I hear my mother and grandmother's words come out of me, but really. 
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: RSVP Vent

    That is flat out the worst excuse I've ever heard! Actually admitting that a day at the beach is more important than your cousin's wedding. My God, I'd rather lie than give that excuse.

    In Response to Re: RSVP Vent:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP Vent : A friend of my Mom's was in tears after calling some people 3 weeks before her daughter's wedding.  He nephew said, well September Saturdays are iffy,  we do not want to say yes and have it turn out that that is the last good beach day, which means we would say yes then miss the wedding.  Can't we just tell you like 3 days before, when the weather forecast is pretty certain?   Posted by whatawagSBNy[/QUOTE]
     

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