Tongue-tied

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from deniece881. Show deniece881's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    Now I feel even more grateful than I had before that everything went so smoothly at our wedding.  Not a single uninvited guest showed up.  We had some last minute cancellations, for very valid reasons.  Some of my mother's friends got to come instead and enjoy dinner so it didn't go to waste.  We only invited long-term couples (and a few of our older guests who needed rides) with dates, and not a single person complained about being invited solo.  Even my troublemaking cousins (in their early 20s) were super sweet.  

    Definately get your guest lists set as early as you can.  Ours were mostly done before we even looked at a venue, but we forgot a few people, so it grew to nerve wracking numbers right before we mailed invitations.  I was pulling invitations out at the last minute to keep us under my maximum invited number, since our venue was pretty small and my family is pretty big. :-) 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from EnjoyEverySandwich. Show EnjoyEverySandwich's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied


    We had some people *not* show up for the wedding who had said they were coming.  One couple, and one elderly relative who got lost.  The couple never called, explained, or even spoke to us ever again as far as I remember.

    If it's a party in your home, the explanation or apology perhaps isn't necessary, but when it's a catered wedding and the meals have to be paid for, not too cool.


     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    lol Amber, I like that.

    A bunch of my aunts and uncles rented a party bus to drive from upstate NY to NH for our wedding, and at the last minute my aunt (the one who told me I wasn't really married because the ceremony didn't take place in a church) told my adult cousin that she wasn't welcome on the party bus with them (even though the cousin's father was). So my cousin, unfortunately, didn't make the wedding. And her dad and the aunt (brother and sister) were mad at each other during the wedding.

    Happily, I didn't know about any of this until later. :)
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ambergirl. Show ambergirl's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    That stuff makes me crazy WPP.  I have had more than one family member and one friend over the years who "found religion".  Well that is nice for you, but don't preach to me.  One cousin decided to preach on something that she now doesn't believe in because of her faith.  Was not nice about it and wouldn't shut up about it either, so I felt compelled by my "faith" to tell her she did exactly what she now doesn't condon, more than once many years ago and I hope her new God is a forgiving God....  LOL!  I would never think to tell anyone what to believe in, how to live or anything unless they were harming themselves.  To each his own. 
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    I too did not invite any children except my 10-year old son.  I had one person complain but everyone else was fine with it as it was a night wedding.  I didn't extend plus 1's unless I knew they were in a relationship and then I used their name.  However, I did have a cousin respond back that she's was bringing a date (one wasn't invited).  I let it go because we had the room and the date wasn't at the wedding!  We had one person not show up but I knew before the wedding and it was a valid reason.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kinga9. Show kinga9's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    I was so glad that we did STD's because we got the guest list squared away right from the start. That is, the guest list at the time that I sent them out. I have some friends who may "meet the man/woman of their dreams/that moment" in the meantime and I'll have to deal with that with the help of all your great advice!

    I'm not inviting children, but because everything (ceremony, reception, guests room, and recreation area) is all in the same spot, I'm having baby-sitters for all the out of towners that don't necessarily want to leave their children for the weekend. The rec room is right next door, and they can check on their kids as often as they like. I realize this may back-fire and I could be looking at a Godfather Part 1 type wedding.


     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    Usually venues have wiggle room if someone on your list who is single now meets the ONE 3 weeks before the wedding.  They don't even require a final count until about 10 days before (if I remember correctly!).  And, it's not actually "final" - they can make small changes (+/- 3 or so) with no trouble.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    Keep in mind that some people assume they're invited because the bride or groom is discussing the wedding plans in front of them.  If you don't talk about the wedding, people will have to literally change the subject to ask if they're invited. 

    For those that do ask directly, just look sad and say "We wish we could invite everyone we would like to, but unfortunately we can't." 

    To the older bride about the plus-ones, we invited all our single friends to bring a guest.  I actually stuck a small note in the invites to say "not sure if you're seeing anyone or not, but you're welcome to bring  a date". 

    When I was single, I always hoped I'd be invited with a plus-one so I'd have someone to dance with, especially if I didn't know that many other guests.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    I only had one no show at my wedding. He's one of my good friends and he had moved the weekend before and missplaced the invite. The funny part is I have known him since I was about 16-17 and we made a promise to each other that we would go to each other's weddings. I don't think my parents found it amusing however. I was a little disappointed that he didn't come but he took us out to dinner to make it up to us. I still like to tease him occationally about it Smile
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    In Response to Re: Tongue-tied:
    [QUOTE]I was so glad that we did STD's because we got the guest list squared away right from the start. That is, the guest list at the time that I sent them out. I have some friends who may "meet the man/woman of their dreams/that moment" in the meantime and I'll have to deal with that with the help of all your great advice! I'm not inviting children, but because everything (ceremony, reception, guests room, and recreation area) is all in the same spot, I'm having baby-sitters for all the out of towners that don't necessarily want to leave their children for the weekend. The rec room is right next door, and they can check on their kids as often as they like. I realize this may back-fire and I could be looking at a Godfather Part 1 type wedding.
    Posted by kinga9[/QUOTE]

    Kinga, even though you sent out "STD's", you may encounter "issues" with people with children. 

    We decided we wanted a "no kids" reception, and had guests add their children to the rsvp's.   I have a tendency to be a little too blunt/forward.  When I received the RSVP w/the "additions", I made a phone call, explained my situation and gave them a choice:  either make child care arrangements in advance or don't come.  If you have "out of towners" who have kids and don't want to leave them for a weekend, i can understand, and i think its a great idea to have them all in a separate room with a baby sitter...you may want to include "finger foods/snacks" that appeal to kids.  Fortunately, with us, none of the out of towners had kids...

    Unfortunately, people "automatically assume" and don't always read the addressing of the invitation...

    We all know what happens when people "assume"...    
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from EnjoyEverySandwich. Show EnjoyEverySandwich's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied


    We were invited to a destination wedding last year.  The ceremony was at night and no kids.  We were fine with that (though they made no allowances for child care whatsoever).  The weekend also included a rehearsal dinner, a brunch and a BBQ on the beach.  None of those other events included children.  Not even the BBQ. 

    We are in a situation where we could not leave our kids, but we had thought we'd go with the kids and make an extended vacation out of it.  (Obviously, we planned on getting a sitter there for the ceremony & reception.)  We'd even looked into hotels, airfare, and other sightseeing we were going to do in that area.  But once we realized that not one aspect of the weekend welcomed kids, we bowed out.

    I'm inthe camp where I think of weddings as joyous family occasions, and to me, children add to that rather than detract.  And yes, I felt that way long before I had children of my own.  I can also understand having an evening wedding without kids.  But if you're having a lot of celebrations beyond the main ceremony and reception, I can't understand not making at least one of those kid-friendly.

    Anyway, that was their choice and how they wanted their celebration to go.  It just didn't work for us, so we had to make our choice not to attend.  (And we saved a fortune by not going, so they really did us a favor!  ;)

     
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  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    "Learn now that you don't need to answer every question."

    GREAT advice.  Not just for weddings, either.  The art of deflection is best learned as early as possible. People ask inappropriate direct questions all the time.  You don't need to answer them to be "nice" or "polite" - they are rude for asking, and you can deflect and still be gracious.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kinga9. Show kinga9's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    I've been getting better at deflecting, especially since the surge of baby questions has recently arose. I know my clock is ticking, but let me get down the aisle first!
    Thank you all, only 5 more months of this...
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    5 months?  That might be all you have left 'til the wedding, but as far as deflecting goes, try a lifetime!  Keep practicing - people NEVER CEASE to butt their noses in where it doesn't belong ask inappropriate questions.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kinga9. Show kinga9's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    Ha! True, very true. Sad...but true.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Tongue-tied

    When it comes to weddings, people can get really forward and if you don't stand firm, they'll walk all over you. Once you give one person a pass, the flood gates open!

    I agree that the +1 issue depends on the person and the group. If there will be a bunch of singles, then no one will be uncomfortable. If the person isn't going to know anyone except you, then yeah, they kind of need someone else unless they're really gregarious. If they're travelling from out of state, they should be able to bring a guest so they don't have to make the trip alone. You kind of have to feel the situation out.
     
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