Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]Please don't all yell at me for saying my opinion, and I understand why people think having an open bar is a "must". But some people simply can not afford it. I don't think you have to have an open bar to have a fun wedding. I have been to a couple where it was cash bar, and I had a blast. I do agree, don't invite 300 people, but don't not invite people you truly want there, just because you want to be able to afford giving out free booze. JUST MY OPINION!! :)
    Posted by Peonie[/QUOTE]

    I've been to weddings where it was cash bar, and open bar.  To be honest, didn't make much of a difference to me.  I can see how it might to some, but not to me.  I had fun at all of those weddings.  It's not like I'm going to sit back and complain because I didn't get a free drink. 

    Anything with a "wedding" stamped on it, you KNOW it's expensive.  I feel for all the brides and grooms and parents who are paying for weddings that are totally out of control finance-wise. 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    Goodness, I do and I don't feel bad for them. When a bride is like "My budget for my reception alone is $50,000!" I am not going to feel bad for her at all.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

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    HA, HA, HA... I wouldn't feel bad for her, either! 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

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    [QUOTE]35 minute ceremony?  I think your guests will appreciate that, especially if they have been to one recently that is an hour+ mass.  Mine was probably about 25 minutes...I don't think I could have stood up there in front of everyone for much longer than that.
    Posted by dkb6248[/QUOTE]

    Ours came in at 30:30. Yes, someone timed it. My DH's fraternity brothers had a bet going on whether it would end on an odd number or an even number. I swear those boys will bet on anything. lol

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

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    I am not trying to be mean at all, but come one...why would I feel bad if you are willing to spend that kind of money on your reception? Don't even complain to me....Tongue out
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : Ours came in at 30:30. Yes, someone timed it. My DH's fraternity brothers had a bet going on whether it would end on an odd number or an even number. I swear those boys will bet on anything. lol
    Posted by NorthernLghts[/QUOTE]

    Oh man, that sounds like something my fiance's friends would do.  GREAT!!!   Undecided
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : Oh man, that sounds like something my fiance's friends would do.  GREAT!!!  
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]

    silly boys....
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    I have to agree with Peonie and Goodness. FI and I have not decided on open bar or not yet. We won't until we finalize the guest list.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

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    haha, i thought it was kind of funny when they told me afterwards
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

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    Makes for good timing to get to the reception site, right?  ;)
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

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    Goodness, don't feel bad at all!  I think 35 mins is right around perfect for a wedding ceremony.  It is when they start to get over an hour when I start to get tired. 

    I still haven't decided on the open bar.  For me, I don't really drink alcohol and it is so expensive... I think we'll try to do open wine and beer if we can afford it.  Someone was talking about doing open bar up until they reach a certain $$ limit, then switching to cash bar.  That seems like a good compromise!
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]Please don't all yell at me for saying my opinion, and I understand why people think having an open bar is a "must". But some people simply can not afford it. I don't think you have to have an open bar to have a fun wedding. I have been to a couple where it was cash bar, and I had a blast. I do agree, don't invite 300 people, but don't not invite people you truly want there, just because you want to be able to afford giving out free booze. JUST MY OPINION!! :)
    Posted by Peonie[/QUOTE]

    A lot of people have very strong opinions on the cash bar v. open bar questions.  I personally can't imagine entertaining my friends and family without providing refreshments.  If I couldn't afford a full open bar, I would offer free wine and beer. But I would find a way that, whatever I served, my guests wouldn't have to pay.

    As far as the plus one goes - again, most people have very strong opinions, one way or the other.  I really think it depends on how many single people you have.  If you have only one single friend, and she'll be stuck alone at the kiddie table with a bunch of 10 year-olds, then, yes, let her bring a date so she isn't bored silly.  If all your friends know each other and are friends already, it's less of a big deal.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : You're telling me.  It's really weird.  I try not to pay it much mind, as we cannot control what people say or think, but it does hurt.  When it's mentioned over and over and over again, there are times when I have to bite my tongue before I say, "Then don't come".  But, I restrain myself.  I know it's not totally private, but we're entering a whole new phase of life during the ceremony.  It will be just the two of us up there.  I'm tearing up just thinking about our moments on the day and days after.  I won't let anyone spoil that for me. 
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]

    You know what's funny?  I've been to weddings where the ceremony has been over in like 5 minutes, and I think, "That's it?"  35 minutes isn't too long.  Five hours is too long.  Kiss
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : You know what's funny?  I've been to weddings where the ceremony has been over in like 5 minutes, and I think, "That's it?"  35 minutes isn't too long.  Five hours is too long. 
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    I agree, I thought the pooh-poohing of the ceremony was terrible in that article, although it had good points, too.  The marriage is what the celebration is about, after all, and the marriage starts with the very important wedding ceremony!  We're supposed to rush it so people can hurry up to the best-ever dinner and cake they're supposedly really there for?  Of course, if it's really long it's kind of a drag, I'll admit, but 35 - 45 minutes?  It's shorter than an episode of most of our favorite shows...
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from ilovebeagles. Show ilovebeagles's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    Ours was about 15 minutes, 20 if you include processionals.
    We had everything we wanted in there, people said how lovely it was and wondered why people do the catholic mass. Which is a lovely compliment to us,  but I like the masses too!

    Seriously, I have never ever complained about how long a ceremony is, that is the whole reason we are there!! And I have never ever complained about something to the actual bride and groom!!

    I did complain to my husband when we didnt eat until 945 at one wedding, which started at 400. I seriously thought I was going to pass out, and I got really crabby, lol.

    We have also been to some weddings that the ceremony lasted less than 5, which I personally think is short. Did I say anything to the bride or groom, heck no, since it is what they wanted.




     

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from dkb6248. Show dkb6248's posts

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    [QUOTE]Ours was about 15 minutes, 20 if you include processionals. We had everything we wanted in there, people said how lovely it was and wondered why people do the catholic mass. Which is a lovely compliment to us,  but I like the masses too! Seriously, I have never ever complained about how long a ceremony is, that is the whole reason we are there!! And I have never ever complained about something to the actual bride and groom!! I did complain to my husband when we didnt eat until 945 at one wedding, which started at 400. I seriously thought I was going to pass out, and I got really crabby, lol. We have also been to some weddings that the ceremony lasted less than 5, which I personally think is short. Did I say anything to the bride or groom, heck no, since it is what they wanted.  
    Posted by ilovebeagles[/QUOTE]

    I love the ceremony!  Granted, I have only been to a handful of weddings and they were all either family or very close friends so it was special to be part of it.  I know everyone focuses on the bride when she starts to come down the aisle, but I like to look at the groom's expression when he first sees her and as she comes down the aisle.

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : I love the ceremony!  Granted, I have only been to a handful of weddings and they were all either family or very close friends so it was special to be part of it.  I know everyone focuses on the bride when she starts to come down the aisle, but I like to look at the groom's expression when he first sees her and as she comes down the aisle.
    Posted by dkb6248[/QUOTE]

    I love watching the groom's face too!! When they start getting all teary just seeing the bride, it's so sweet.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

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    I don't even know how long our ceremony was! I was in a daze the whole time. It felt like it went by fast. It was maybe 10 or 15 minutes? I started crying and probably couldn't have made it much longer!

    Based on that list of wedding gripes, I'm not sure how you'd create the *perfect* wedding. I wouldn't like it. I like when weddings are unique, a reflection of the couple.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from TarheelChief. Show TarheelChief's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    The single most common secret gripe is no open bar.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

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    I don't think that many people understand how much the price of alcohol
    (open bar) varies from venue to venue, even city to city.  I think it's easy to say, "They're cheap, they don't have open bar".  Yet the couple and the family who hosted the wedding has taken care of every other detail for food and music.  It all adds us. 

    It's easy being on the outside looking in and making judgement.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

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    [QUOTE]The single most common secret gripe is no open bar.
    Posted by TarheelChief[/QUOTE]

    Yes, we know.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

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    [QUOTE]I don't think that many people understand how much the price of alcohol (open bar) varies from venue to venue, even city to city.  I think it's easy to say, "They're cheap, they don't have open bar".  Yet the couple and the family who hosted the wedding has taken care of every other detail for food and music.  It all adds us.  It's easy being on the outside looking in and making judgement.
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]

    Goodness, I completely agree! You want to complain about my wedding nothaving open bar?? Ok, then how about you pay for it! God, I would like to see people who complain about that, and then when it's their turn to get married, see how they feel when it's their turn to pay for all that booze.

    I never ever comment or ask the bride or groom about their choice of open bar or not.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : Goodness, I completely agree! You want to complain about my wedding nothaving open bar?? Ok, then how about you pay for it! God, I would like to see people who complain about that, and then when it's their turn to get married, see how they feel when it's their turn to pay for all that booze. I never ever comment or ask the bride or groom about their choice of open bar or not.
    Posted by Peonie[/QUOTE]

    This topic will always be an on-going debate, always. If anyone asks me if my wedding is open bar or not, my response will simply be "Well, you will see at the wedding." Don't even ask me. So rude.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    How about those people who completely take advantage of open bar?  I've seen them.  They go to the bar and get a drink.  Put their drink down, forget about it, and go get another one.

    Um, you realize that the bride and groom may be paying on consumption, right?  It's not all totally open.  A lot of people don't even realize that MOST venues don't allow you to bring in your own alcohol, so you HAVE to use theirs. 

    So, sorry... I don't agree with people who have the nerve to complain that someone doesn't have open bar or isn't offering top shelf.  Shame on those type of guests.  Sheesh, be happy you even got invited to a wedding if you're so selfish and greedy.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : I love watching the groom's face too!! When they start getting all teary just seeing the bride, it's so sweet.
    Posted by cicirose[/QUOTE]

    Me too!  I specifically asked our photographer for a photo of my DH's face when he first saw me come down the aisle. He did a before and after shot. Those are 2 of my favorite photos. :-) 
     

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