Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    Lucy - I'd LOVE your ipod wedding!!

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : I love this idea.  However, my ipod is about 93% full of musicals, so if I tried to DJ a party with it.... well... it would be interesting.    Much of the remaining 7% is Madonna, circa 1984.
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]Lucy - I'd LOVE your ipod wedding!! In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes :
    Posted by heatherv1211[/QUOTE]

    I've got it all worked out: 
    First Dance:  Like a Virgin
    Father/Daughter Dance:  Papa, Don't Preach
    Mother/Son Dance: Lucky Star
    The Dollar Dance:  Material Girl
    Last Dance: Holiday
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : I've got it all worked out:  First Dance:  Like a Virgin Father/Daughter Dance:  Papa, Don't Preach Mother/Son Dance: Lucky Star The Dollar Dance:  Material Girl Last Dance: Holiday
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    You always ALWAYS make me laugh!! Lucy, you're invited to my wedding!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : I've got it all worked out:  First Dance:  Like a Virgin Father/Daughter Dance:  Papa, Don't Preach Mother/Son Dance: Lucky Star The Dollar Dance:  Material Girl Last Dance: Holiday
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]

    i found myself laughing about this one for a good couple minutes lucy. awsome playlist. can't invite you to my wedding, i'm already married. but you can come to my housewarming :-)

    although if you wanted to go the musical route I'd suggest

    Entrance: We Dance (Once on this Island)
    First Dance: People Will Say We're in Love (Oklahoma)
    Father/Daughter: Love of my Life (Brigadoon)
    Mother/Son: Lovely Ladies (Les Mis)
    Dollar Dance: If I were a Rich Man (Fiddler)
    Last Dance: I Guess This Is Goodbye (into the woods)
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    Lucy, if you can't make it to the wedding, can you at least come to my bachelorette party?? PLEASE!!

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]Lucy, if you can't make it to the wedding, can you at least come to my bachelorette party?? PLEASE!!
    Posted by Sept2010Bride[/QUOTE]

    I'd have to check my calendar, but I think I can safely say that I don't have any plans for a year from September.  I'm sure I can pencil you in.  Wink
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : i found myself laughing about this one for a good couple minutes lucy. awsome playlist. can't invite you to my wedding, i'm already married. but you can come to my housewarming :-) although if you wanted to go the musical route I'd suggest Entrance: We Dance (Once on this Island) First Dance: People Will Say We're in Love (Oklahoma) Father/Daughter: Love of my Life (Brigadoon) Mother/Son: Lovely Ladies (Les Mis) Dollar Dance: If I were a Rich Man (Fiddler) Last Dance: I Guess This Is Goodbye (into the woods)
    Posted by NorthernLghts[/QUOTE]

    I do love a good housewarming.... 

    If we're going with musicals, as a special nod to my future husband, the first dance should be There's a Moment You Know (You're F*cked) (Spring Awakening).  Cool

    For the dollar dance (which I don't think I would actually do, but shhh!), I could go with And the Money Kept Rollin' In (Evita)

    Hmmm.. and, in special honor of my mother, we might need a special "Mama Who Bore Me" Mother/Daughter dance from Spring Awakening....


     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    good choices :-)
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    Whoa whoa whoa. I never said I care more about liquor than anything else. What I care about, as a host, is providing my guests with food and beverage.
    I would never prioritize a centerpiece or decoration over beverages for my guests.

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes :         Not everyone cares about liquor more than anything else, as you do.  
    Posted by whatawagSBNy[/QUOTE]
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    My sentiments exactly.

    In Response to Re: Wedding But there is one thing about the cash bar issue that does bother me, and I am being really honest here, so I am sure it will come out wrong.  I don't mean to slam anyone.  But the usual "defense" for having a cash bar is that people can't afford it and that its ok because you should have the wedding you can afford.  But if you have a cash bar, you aren't having the wedding you could afford, you are passing the cost on to someone else.  There, I said it. I am often asked what I would do if I could not have afforded an open bar at my wedding.  I was very lucky--my parents wanted to plan and pay for my wedding, and as I've mentioned before, there is no way my mother would have a wedding with a cash bar, which she unabashedly proclaimed as "tacky" (rest her soul).  SO that worked.  But if my husband and I had to pay for our own wedding and reception?  Then we would have had the wedding and reception we could have afforded--10 people in the Rabbi's study with dinner and drinks afterward, on us. 
    Posted by ash[/QUOTE]
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    best. playlist. ever.

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : I've got it all worked out:  First Dance:  Like a Virgin Father/Daughter Dance:  Papa, Don't Preach Mother/Son Dance: Lucky Star The Dollar Dance:  Material Girl Last Dance: Holiday
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    Weddings are tough.  Weddings are expensive.  I think each B&G and their families should do what they can afford.  I'm seeing this first hand as I'm sure all other brides are.  Things can get to pricey!  Everything costs something.  EVERYTHING!  I will need a couple extra loose roses to be placed on my wedding cake, and the florist is going to charge me.  Regardless of the fact that I'm buying all of the centerpieces, bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres.  Yeah, okay... you can't throw in a couple extra flowers?  Give me a break!!

    That's my gripe, as a bride.  Not as a guest.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    Ash, I totally agree with you.  You summed it up perfectly. 

    And Lucy, that is the best playlist ever.  lol. 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    that's rotten that they won't throw in a couple flowers! I found out that if you buy rose petals for a wedding that as opposed to giving you the loose petals they already have, they pull apart perfectly good roses and charge you extra. I don't know how they sleep at night. I was also told that when asking for a quote to first call and ask for prices for an anniversary party, then call back and say it's wedding and see if they hike the prices just because you used the magic "w" word. it's just awful that someone would do that.

     In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]Weddings are tough.  Weddings are expensive.  I think each B&G and their families should do what they can afford.  I'm seeing this first hand as I'm sure all other brides are.  Things can get to pricey!  Everything costs something.  EVERYTHING!  I will need a couple extra loose roses to be placed on my wedding cake, and the florist is going to charge me.  Regardless of the fact that I'm buying all of the centerpieces, bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres.  Yeah, okay... you can't throw in a couple extra flowers?  Give me a break!! That's my gripe, as a bride.  Not as a guest.
    Posted by Goodness1[/QUOTE]
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    Goodness, can you just buy some loose roses at the supermarket for your cake, instead of paying the florist, no?
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    .Oh man. I have not read the responses in this 140 reply thread yet, but, I am reading the article. Did they interview the scuz of the earth? I love this one:

    You Make Us Pay?!
    Treat your guests like guests; don't make us bring our wallets whenever we want a drink! When you have more than 300 guests and a cash bar, we wish that you would've just cut the list and paid for our drinks instead

    ok, well...when that guest list is cut, the greedy effers like this I hope are the first to go! and the one about the $200 gift being a deposit for a meal? w.t.f are some people thinking?? i really wish that people who think like this and demand other people's weddings be all about them would just rsvp no, because they are attending for all the wrong reasons. it's irritating.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]My sentiments exactly. In Response to Re: Wedding But there is one thing about the cash bar issue that does bother me, and I am being really honest here, so I am sure it will come out wrong.  I don't mean to slam anyone.  But the usual "defense" for having a cash bar is that people can't afford it and that its ok because you should have the wedding you can afford.  But if you have a cash bar, you aren't having the wedding you could afford, you are passing the cost on to someone else.  There, I said it. I am often asked what I would do if I could not have afforded an open bar at my wedding.  I was very lucky--my parents wanted to plan and pay for my wedding, and as I've mentioned before, there is no way my mother would have a wedding with a cash bar, which she unabashedly proclaimed as "tacky" (rest her soul).  SO that worked.  But if my husband and I had to pay for our own wedding and reception?  Then we would have had the wedding and reception we could have afforded--10 people in the Rabbi's study with dinner and drinks afterward, on us.  Posted by ash[/QUOTE]
    Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE]

    So I just started reading the thread backwards and I have different thoughts on this. Having the wedding you can afford does not require alcoholic drinks. If water, juice, soda, etc are paid for by the host, and someone at the reception does not want that but prefers to have alcohol, then what is so wrong with a cash bar? the host is paying for what they can afford, dinner, drinks, dancing, etc. why isnt the free soda, water, juice enough? why does the host HAVE to pay for your beer or mixed drinks? If you do not like the selection of drinks the host can afford to pay for, bring your wallet and buy what you like.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    It's simply a difference in opinion about what a host's obligations are.
    Again, I look at a wedding like a large dinner party. If I were hosting a dinner party, I wouldn't serve my guests only soda, water or juice and then charge them if they wanted wine or beer. I would either have BYOB or provide it myself. As a host, I don't believe in charging my guests for food or drink. I will offer them at least wine or beer.
    If there's simply no liquor for moral or religious reasons, then there's simply no liquor. I won't argue with that.

    If you feel a host isn't obligated to offer their guests drinks, then fine. I'm not trying to change your mind. This is just my opinion and the way I was raised.

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes : Posted by pinkkittie27[/QUOTE] So I just started reading the thread backwards and I have different thoughts on this. Having the wedding you can afford does not require alcoholic drinks. If water, juice, soda, etc are paid for by the host, and someone at the reception does not want that but prefers to have alcohol, then what is so wrong with a cash bar? the host is paying for what they can afford, dinner, drinks, dancing, etc. why isnt the free soda, water, juice enough? why does the host HAVE to pay for your beer or mixed drinks? If you do not like the selection of drinks the host can afford to pay for, bring your wallet and buy what you like.
    Posted by Missy509[/QUOTE]
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Ariel81916. Show Ariel81916's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    In Response to Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes:
    [QUOTE]So I just started reading the thread backwards and I have different thoughts on this. Having the wedding you can afford does not require alcoholic drinks. If water, juice, soda, etc are paid for by the host, and someone at the reception does not want that but prefers to have alcohol, then what is so wrong with a cash bar? the host is paying for what they can afford, dinner, drinks, dancing, etc. why isnt the free soda, water, juice enough? why does the host HAVE to pay for your beer or mixed drinks? If you do not like the selection of drinks the host can afford to pay for, bring your wallet and buy what you like.
    Posted by Missy509[/QUOTE]

    Free soda, water, and juice can be enough -- but there are some hosts out there who don't even provide this. For them, cash bar is every beverage. That's a problem and I don't think any guest is out of bounds to find that worth griping about.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    well, asking for a glass of ice water at a bar should always be free, if the bar charges, that is sketchy.

    comparing hosting a dinner party in your home to hosting a wedding is apples and oranges. you can buy the alcohol for a dinner party at your home for a fraction of the cost of what it would be to provide alcohol to everyone at a wedding. one because of the high markup and two because of the larger number of people attending the wedding. if hosting a dinner party, you can safely buy alcohol to please everyone for less than $100 at a liquor store. that is reasonable. but saying that because you would spend that $100 to provide your guests drinks in your home is not the same as expecting someone to shell out $5,000 for drinks for their guests at the wedding.

    again, if the host provides soda, water, juice etc and you insist on your alcohol, then bring your cash and buy it. the host is providing you with drinks. if you dont want to spend money, have one of the freebies on the menu. if you dont like those, then buy your own. its quite simple and nothing to complain about. complaining because they offered you such and such for free but you dont want that, you want something else makes you whiny and bratty.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    Missy- it is not apples to oranges. A dinner party is when you invite guests to a location of your choosing and provide them with dinner and entertainment. The only difference at a wedding is that there's a ceremony beforehand.
    There are certainly venues where you can provide the alcohol yourself, and there are other options such as consumption or limited open bar. Not all of these cost $5k.
    I never said I expected anything out of anyone else. I expect things from myself. One of the things I expect from myself, as a host, is to only host a party if I can afford it. If I can only afford wine for 6 people, then I only invite 6 people to my dinner party. I wouldn't invite 10 people and then charge them for their drinks. As long as I could give two drinks to each guest, I would feel I'd fulfilled my obligation as host.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    I agree with Missy.  My FI and I do not really drink alcohol and neither do a bunch of our friends.  So I feel as long as you provide drinks (water, soda, juice, etc), then it should be fine.  If some of the guests want to drink alcohol, I don't see why they can't pay for it themselves.  We'll probably try to do open wine/beer if we can afford it, but I know FI's brother will be annoyed that he can't get his top shelf mixed drinks.  But I don't feel like we should have to pay to accommodate his drinking habits, especially when we don't share them.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    Trex, I agree. If drinks are being offered, then you are fine. Just because you do not offer everyone's favorite drink does not make what you are doing wrong. Too many guests feel such entitlement that their drink of choice should be offered, and if not, they get into a huff. Drink what is offered and if you dont like it, buy what you prefer.

    However, as someone who still has friends that will be planning weddings, could pink please provide me a list of venues that allow you to bring your own alcohol?
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    Missy,
    I can only agree with pinkey. If you host a party, you pay for whatever. If you can only afford this much, you invite guests accordingly. Doesn't matter if t is a 6 people dinner party or a 100 or more people wedding. If you cannot afford a 100 people wedding, then cut down the invitations, and then maybe have a back yard barbeque or a potluck dinner later on for the rest of the friends, you would have wanted to be there.
    I sounds like you haven't been to a liquor store lately. $100 do not strech very far. Unless you only want beer and some lousy wine. But you could serve the exact same at a wedding. No one needs exotic drinks or hard liquor. Most people will be happy with beer and wine. And for heavens sake make soda and water FREE. Even though, I would love to have a drink, I would be more than happy to attend your wedding, just having a glass of tonic water with a slice of lime or lemon. In fact, that is often what I ask for at business functions.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

    Re: Wedding Guests' Secret Gripes

    It's ONE NIGHT! People can deal with not having their top shelf liqour for ONE NIGHT!! Why is this such a big deal? It's just like going to a bar. We don't get free drinks at a bar, do we? Why are people complaining when we are getting a free meal, free cake, and a free place to dance and have fun? I just don't get it.
     

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