Re: Where did you meet SO?
posted at 6/25/2009 11:18 PM EDT
Like kargiver, I met my husband (of 2 years, wow!) through eharmony. I would NEVER have done it if I hadn't moved to DC from Boston, and am I happy I did! I moved when I was 39 and didn't know a single soul in DC. Everyone I worked with commuted about 2 hours to/from work so going out after work for drinks or socializing was out. And I'm not into the bar scene. And I was so lonely, HATED my job, was making nearly zero money, so I was broke. So I decided to heck with it, I'm going to go out to all these great restaurants, I have no money, but I can have men pay! (chivalry and all that)
I'd seen 100s of ads for eharmony, figured it was a way to get free dinner, signed up. (seriously, I'd truly given up the idea that I was ever going to find someone and get married, so I really didn't think this would be more than socializing, eating and not paying) And within 2 months was matched with my husband, we met about 6 weeks after that initial match (after going through the 4 stages and then emailing for some more weeks), and within 2 months I just new he was the one. But for a few months I was having a dinner date every weekend, I'd tried lots of new restaurants, I paid for ZERO of them and I was having fun! Previously to this I'd never before dated more than 1 man at a time, so this took some getting used to, but it was fun. Well, I wasn't really dating them, it was more like lots of first dates, a few 2nd dates, then I met my FH and bam, that was it. We met when I was 4 months shy of my 40th birthday, and got married when I was 43 and he was 40. So we were "older."
For him, I was the first person he went through all 4 levels of communication with on eharmony! He was incredibly picky. So I guess I'm pretty special!
My worst eharmony date wasn't as bad as Alf's crazy Dairy Guy. Mine kept me waiting for 30 minutes and when I saw him he said he'd been waiting for me on the other side of the metro exit but I'd walked to that side and hadn't seen him, so I think he was spying and trying to decide whether to keep the date or not. Strike 1. And then he was a weird vegetarian freak (not that veges are freaks, his way of doing it was a freak) and he was also into recycling such that he was worried that something on the table at the restaurant should be recycled but he bet it wasn't going to be.... it's hazy after 4 years but still! Oh, but I learned so much about Excel that night that I've used nearly every day since! But learning about Excel spreadsheets on a date means we weren't marriage material!
I didn't put my photograph on eharmony because a) I didn't know anyone down here to take a digital photo (how do you ask your boss to do that, lol?) and b) I thought it was kind of icky to have my photo up. When asked I would be honest - "I'm not gorgeous but I'm not scary, I have pretty green eyes, am kinda short, in reasonable but not super model shape, I'm not hiding anything by not having a photo." A few guys closed my match because I didn't have a photo but that was fine with me, I don't need superficial guys, but most didn't and we'd meet and either I was pretty in their eyes or not. So much of it is in the eye of the beholder, anyway.