Where did you meet SO?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    oh man, talk about obsessing over something!

    My 1st boyfriend ever, I think he was OCD. At the end of every day when he got home, he'd take every receipt he had out of his pockets and staple it to the wall. I asked him why and he said it was just like a diary, except it was things he bought to ate, or stubs from concerts or movies he went to.
    I mean, as installationa rt, sure, I can see how that would be a cool, but in your room, where no one sees it? What 17 year old does that??
    I realized he was probably going to end up saving bodily fluids or nails clippings in jars. So, I broke up with him.

    [QUOTE]lol. It is totally like Seinfeld.  I remember one date I went on w/ this guy right after I met DH [actually, I had my second date w/ this guy on Friday and my second date w/ DH on Saturday - variety was one of the best things about online dating, plus the entertainment value of some dates and free food. lol], and he was telling me how he limits his dairy intake.  I mean, the guy had a system that valued milk, butter, cream, cheese, etc.  He also had this intricate gym routine that he had to follow so that his weight and muscle mass stayed at some specific level, and he would kick it up a notch if he was planning on having pizza that week.  Hello!!!!!  You are a guy!  Why are you spazzing about your dairy intake? And why are you telling me this freakazoid info on a second date!!!!!???????  He was good looking and all, but come freakin' on!  If you are monitoring your fat intake that much, what are you going to say when you discover my unnatural love for icecream and cheese?!  I will admit that I actually called my friend from the bathroom to tell her that the guy was a freak.  Once he stated that he recently told his mother [who lived in India and whom he hadn't seen in 2 years] that she had gotten fat, I mentally crossed this dude off the list.  I was SO glad I had a date w/ DH the next night.  It was my last weekend of dating 2 guys too. lol. 
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmt09. Show kmt09's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    [QUOTE]I realized he was probably going to end up saving bodily fluids or nails clippings in jars. So, I broke up with him.
    Posted by pinkkittie18[/QUOTE]

    My mom's friend once went out with a guy who saved his belly button lint.  No lie.  Frown
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    that's downright disgusting.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Saving any kind of bodily bits or pieces, whether it's nails or lint [belly button or toe variety] is hilarious.  Totally a deal breaker, but hee-larious nonetheless when trading bad date stories /w your friends.  Basically any serial killer traits are signs to run for the hills. 

    I actually mentally gave my DH points for putting butter on his bread and having grated cheese w/ his dinner on the date we had after my last date w/ Dairy Dude.    
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Not sure if this is really relavant, but relates to Alf's mention of dating another guy when she first dated DH.

    My DH was a friend of mine and we kind of accidentally started dating.  I was dropping him off after hanging out with a bunch of our friends and we kissed good night. Completely out of nowhere!  Anyway, I already had a date set up for that weekend with another guy who had the same name.  (Let's go with Joe.)  Went out with DH the day after that date and decided I really really liked him, so I didn't pursue the other Joe. 
    My birthday was about 2 weeks later and I received a Tiffany bracelet in the mail... from Joe.  I had no idea which one sent it!!!!!  It seemed more likely that DH sent it, but how could I know!  It felt like I was living in a bad teen sitcom :o)  I waited two days before I finally said, "Soooo did you by any chance send me something in the mail?" 

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    LOL fra!  Who the hell mails jewelry?!!! 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Hahaha he was afraid it wouldn't arrive on time so he had it shipped directly to my house instead of his... not really sure why!  I mean, if it went to his house, he could have just called me and asked to see me that night.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Lucy, I understand your thougths about eHarmony.  Maybe they consider astrology religion and assumed you could put on your intro page how you were into astrolgy.  I dunno - I think the personality profile is your basic personality, not your interests, per se. I got matched with guys that had different interests than mine - one's intro page said "I hate to watch TV."  Well, we might have been a good match based on personality, but I LOVE watching TV so I closed the match immediately.  I'm not trying to convince you it's "great" - I totally understand nothing can work for everyone.  And, you're entitled to disagree with their stand on homosexual matches, of course, too.

    I am totally enjoying these "freak" dating stories!!  Just got home from the RMV.  Didn't get done what I went there for.  This is just the LOL I needed!!

    ~kar
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Just another thought on the topic of online dating - in the past, whenever I was looking around at those sites, I would set my age range to my current age, plus about 5-10 years, depending on how I was feeling.  I NEVER allowed it to match me with anyone who was younger than me. 

    My current SO is four and a half years younger than I am.  If I had met him online, I would have immediately rejected him based on his age.  So, try not to limit yourself too much.  My roommate is currently on eharmony, and I see her reject guys for all kinds of crazy reasons.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    I met my FI (16 days until husband!) through Match.com, nearly 3 years ago.  I didn't use Match as my only way of meeting people, but figured it was just one more opportunity to meet new people, so why not try it? 

    I had tried eHarmony before trying match, and had far less success with it...I think because it is more like a dating service, as opposed to Match, which is a little more like the bar scene of the online dating world...and my personality works better with the idea of introducing myself to lots of people and seeing what happens. 

    I found for me that the key to online dating was to move it from online to real life before you romanticize this person you've never met.  A couple of emails, a phone call, then meet for a drink or coffee.  You can't lie or hide or be someone else in person in the same way you can online.  With a few guys, we emailed for so long that I felt like I knew them, and then when we met, was completely disappointed. 

    But I think it's worth trying, just to let yourself be open to the possibility of someone. 
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    luvR, interesting take on Match's qualities.  I always thought it was a terrible choice because it is a HUGE bar scene like you described, but I didn't take into consideration that that's how a lot of people prefer to meet.  To each his (or her) own dating scene, right?!

    I agree about moving it to real life relatively soon, but we found the exercises you have to do upon opening the match (after which either person can close the match without meeting) very helpful in determining if we wanted to go on a date.  And, after getting through all that, eHarmony sends you a very clear warning about how you DON'T KNOW this person yet and to be cautious about giving personal information and then meeting. 

    Funny how so many very different ways to meet and date work well for different people.  How did you get married in less than 3 weeks?  Did you elope?
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Kar, she means he will be her husband in 16 days :o)

    Where have you been luvRI??

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Fram, I don't have the "reply" button right now, but OMG!  I'm such an idiot, thanks for reminding me.  I knew that about LuvR...what's wrong with my brain tonight?
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    It's OK.  She's been MIA!  And sometimes it is so hard to keep track of who is planning and who is married :o)
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Like kargiver, I met my husband (of 2 years, wow!) through eharmony.  I would NEVER have done it if I hadn't moved to DC from Boston, and am I happy I did! I moved when I was 39 and didn't know a single soul in DC.  Everyone I worked with commuted about 2 hours to/from work so going out after work for drinks or socializing was out.  And I'm not into the bar scene. And I was so lonely, HATED my job, was making nearly zero money, so I was broke.  So I decided to heck with it, I'm going to go out to all these great restaurants, I have no money, but I can have men pay!  (chivalry and all that)

    I'd seen 100s of ads for eharmony, figured it was a way to get free dinner, signed up. (seriously, I'd truly given up the idea that I was ever going to find someone and get married, so I really didn't think this would be more than socializing, eating and not paying)  And within 2 months was matched with my husband, we met about 6 weeks after that initial match (after going through the 4 stages and then emailing for some more weeks), and within 2 months I just new he was the one.  But for a few months I was having a dinner date every weekend, I'd tried lots of new restaurants, I paid for ZERO of them and I was having fun!  Previously to this I'd never before dated more than 1 man at a time, so this took some getting used to, but it was fun.  Well, I wasn't really dating them, it was more like lots of first dates, a few 2nd dates, then I met my FH and bam, that was it. We met when I was 4 months shy of my 40th birthday, and got married when I was 43 and he was 40.  So we were "older." 

    For him, I was the first person he went through all 4 levels of communication with on eharmony!  He was incredibly picky.  So I guess I'm pretty special!  Wink

    My worst eharmony date wasn't as bad as Alf's crazy Dairy Guy.  Mine kept me waiting for 30 minutes and when I saw him he said he'd been waiting for me on the other side of the metro exit but I'd walked to that side and hadn't seen him, so I think he was spying and trying to decide whether to keep the date or not.  Strike 1.  And then he was a weird vegetarian freak (not that veges are freaks, his way of doing it was a freak) and he was also into recycling such that he was worried that something on the table at the restaurant should be recycled but he bet it wasn't going to be.... it's hazy after 4 years but still!  Oh, but I learned so much about Excel that night that I've used nearly every day since! But learning about Excel spreadsheets on a date means we weren't marriage material! 

    I didn't put my photograph on eharmony because a) I didn't know anyone down here to take a digital photo (how do you ask your boss to do that, lol?) and b) I thought it was kind of icky to have my photo up.  When asked I would be honest - "I'm not gorgeous but I'm not scary, I have pretty green eyes, am kinda short, in reasonable but not super model shape, I'm not hiding anything by not having a photo."  A few guys closed my match because I didn't have a photo but that was fine with me, I don't need superficial guys, but most didn't and we'd meet and either I was pretty in their eyes or not.  So much of it is in the eye of the beholder, anyway.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Wow, free dinners to DH!!!  What a story, CT.DC, I love it!  By the way, it was the opposite for me and DH on eH.  He was the one with "all the girls," but he was the first one that I'd gone through all four pre-date steps with.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Awwww CTDC part of that sounds like me... If I go to a party and see bottles and cans in the trash, I get sad because they're not going to be recycled.  It takes all my willpower not to take them out of the trash and put them in my trunk lol.  But I understand your distaste, when combined with all of his other traits :o)
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    I've still been lurking, but busy with work and getting wedding stuff finalized.  Met with the florist on Friday, started seating chart yesterday...I am ready for the wedding to be here, and even more ready to be on the beach for the honeymoon!

    n Response to Re: Where did you meet SO?:
    [QUOTE]Kar, she means he will be her husband in 16 days :o) Where have you been luvRI??
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Kar, it is funny how different personalities click with the different online dating services.  I guess that's why there can be multiple ones and they stay in business! 

    I think all of the waiting with EHarmony, and the fact that you had to wait for them to match you was frustrating to me...and the one date that I had from eHarmony made me wonder if their matching technique worked.  Despite going through all the stages, we really didn't click at all. 

    My fiance is the only guy from Match that I went beyond a second date with, but because of all of the bad first dates, I learned to figure out who I wanted to get to know better and who I would even want to meet!
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO?:
    [QUOTE]Kar, it is funny how different personalities click with the different online dating services.  I guess that's why there can be multiple ones and they stay in business!  I think all of the waiting with EHarmony, and the fact that you had to wait for them to match you was frustrating to me...and the one date that I had from eHarmony made me wonder if their matching technique worked.  Despite going through all the stages, we really didn't click at all.  My fiance is the only guy from Match that I went beyond a second date with, but because of all of the bad first dates, I learned to figure out who I wanted to get to know better and who I would even want to meet!
    Posted by luvRIboy[/QUOTE]

    It is truly funny!  It was the waiting that made me LIKE eH the best!  I thought, "Wow, this filter is really doing it's job!"  Although, I have to admit I was pretty eager for matches every time I logged on.

    I have really come to appreciate the other services since we talked about it. Thanks for sharing your perspective!

    ~kar
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    I am so late jumping into this post! but FI and I met through a mutual friend. I was 23 He was 25. I was living out of state at the time so my friends had a fun night planned to go out. All of my friends had already met FI, and were chatting it up with him.  I was wondering who the heck is this guy and why do you all know him?!  He worked with one of my best friends and she had it in the plans for months to set us up. Finally at the end of our night we started talking, hit it off and then met up  the next day!  We have been literally inseparable ever since.  I thought wow, I met a great guy! Little did I know it was a set up and it was all in the works. He was not feeling well that night and came out just to meet me.  Thank goodness he did!   
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from GirlyGirl82. Show GirlyGirl82's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    So call me stupid, but, how does this match.com thing work? I peeked at it this weekend, but do I just make a profile and email anyone I think looks good and we correspond from there? If I make a profile, does everyone see it? Maybe I am weird, but I would be so embarassed if someone saw me on match, no? Anyone who had success, please let me know what you did.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO?:
    [QUOTE]So call me stupid, but, how does this match.com thing work? I peeked at it this weekend, but do I just make a profile and email anyone I think looks good and we correspond from there? If I make a profile, does everyone see it? Maybe I am weird, but I would be so embarassed if someone saw me on match, no? Anyone who had success, please let me know what you did.
    Posted by GirlyGirl82[/QUOTE]

    I didn't do match, but I spent a well-spent year by myself before I even considered dating.  I figured out what went wrong so I didn't do it all over again.  Everyone is prone to repeat the mistakes of the past without due diligence to do otherwise.

    It troubles me greatly that you have decided to date right away.  Rebound relationships fail, and next year you'll be on here saying how brokenhearted you are again.  If you are concerned about having children, you are shooting yourself in the foot by jumping into a relationship too soon. 

    It's like the cake challenge I watched last night.  They KNEW the sugar they poured had gotten too hot and would end up being brittle, but with the time crunch they kept going.  Yup, as predicted, it cracked.  They had to start completely over and didn't think they had enough time to pull it all together. Don't start a new probably doomed relationship and find yourself needing to start over a year from now, right back at square one.

    Take a break, heal, rest, recover, learn, just BE yourself.  Figure out what that even means.

    P.S.  The discussion went this way because we started talking about finding love after loss, NOT to encourage you to jump into the dating scene right away.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from GirlyGirl82. Show GirlyGirl82's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    I guess I am petrified of not finding someone I love to spend my life with. So I thought the sooner I begin a search, the better, no?
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    I'm with Kar on this one...I think if you've just ended a relationship that you thought was it, now is not the time to start looking for the next one. 

    That doesn't mean not being open to the possibility of meeting someone, but with any of the online dating services, it's not just about the results but the search, and the search itself can be tough.

    One story that might make you feel better.  A former coworker was engaged and called off the wedding...decided to take a trip the weekend her wedding would have happened, and met a new guy on the plane.  Fast forward and they're married with 2 kids. 

    It will happen again.  In the meantime, make sure you're taking care of yourself, finding out who you are without someone, and figuring out what you want and need in your forever relationship.  Then when you're ready, you'll find it. 
     

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