Where did you meet SO?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Ariel81916. Show Ariel81916's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Come on, ALF - that's not everyone at Ivy League schools. It's just the ones who feel the need the point it out to impress others. I'm not rich, poor, or $150K in debt, nor are many of my friends who also went Ivy. But I also don't think that makes me any smarter than anyone else -- the only name that matters on the diploma is mine, not the school's.


    Back the point of this thread, though, I would like to point out that both kargiver and ALF can be right. Dating after a serious break-up is a purely individual thing. On the one hand, dealing with a long, heart-breaking divorce, taking some time alone, and then seriously dating the first guy that came along. On the other, taking the casual dating approach - going out to dinner with a guy just to go out, never to see him again necessarily, and seeing where it goes. Neither is absolutely right or absolutely wrong, it just depends on the person and their individual circumstances.

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO? : He had been deceptive about his spiritual journey to get me to marry him knowing that my spous's faith is very important to me, and after we got married the facade started coming down.  All the warnings from my family made a lot more sense at that point, and I knew he wasn't who he said he was.  I think he knew he made a big mistake pretending, too, but it was too late for both of us.  If I repeat myself it's usually to respond to questions, but I guess I can be more conscious of stating something once and leaving it be.  Scorpio can be rude, and often is, but she can have a point, too. ALF's point is well taken.  I don't know what it's like to break up from a fiance.  Nor do I know how long it's been since the wedding was called off.  I don't really know much of anything, but I have been through hell and never want anyone I even bump into in cyberspace to suffer the same fate. I'll definitely be giving the boards a break this week - the new puppy will be here early this afternoon!!  Yay!! ~kar
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]


    Have fun with the puppy!!!  :)

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Ariel, I don't think kar is wrong. I think it's important to take some  time to grieve after a relationship ends. I know I did.  I just don't think there is any set amount of time [most of my friends thought I took WAY too long to get over my sch-muck* of a first boyfriend and that was only about a year, give or take] or any set way for someone to get over a relationship and move on. I totally agree that if the OP is looking for a new Mr. Right right away, then she is probably going to be disappointed. But if she is just looking to get out, or feel good b/c hot looking guys are emailing her asking for dates, then online dating is probably the way to go.  It's a therapy in it's own right.  I had tons of fun dating for about a year or so w/o any intention of looking for a husband - just someone that I could spend fun time with and get to know.  Dating doesn't have to be super serious.  Of course, I wasn't hopping into bed w/ people either, which threw some of the guys for a loop, but others really didn't expect any more than I did - which was to get to know someone and have fun doing it. 

    And as far as Ivy League schools are concerned, you are probably right.  However, anyone that I know that has gone to one has continuously brought it up in the conversation, which is why I know that people went to an Ivy.  Otherwise, unless you see a diploma hanging in someone's office, why would the topic even come up? I don't know where half the people I worked with or know went to college.  It just seems that the ones that I do know their alma mater felt the need to trumpet it - and in those cases it's an Ivy.  I personally didn't applyto an Ivy b/c I knew that I would be getting at least 1 more degree after undergrad and didn't want to have a massive amount of debt when I was done.  I still had a massive amount of debt, but the schools that I did go to are very well know and respected.  But still, the only people who know where I went either went there with me, or saw it on my resume when I interviewed. :-) 

    Come on BDC, sch-muck is a 'bad word'?  Phuleeze!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from dkb6248. Show dkb6248's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    I work with many Ivy Leaguers and 99% of them are great, down to earth people and I only know they went to those schools because I handle their personal files.  So I know this is not the norm BUT, I have to tell this story. 

    I work for a broker (one that is amazingly still around) and we had a guy who worked here a couple years ago who went to Princeton - and mentioned it in EVERY sentence he spoke.  He was definitely the stereotypical pampered kid who felt an inappropriate sense of entitlement and thought he was God's gift to women.  He was super lazy and really inappropriate to female coworkers.  Some of the traders tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and took him out a few times after work to introduce him to clients, and he just embarrassed them.  He would hit on the females clients, ask the men where the best places are to "hook up."  He told me once that whenever he is on a date that is not going well, all he has to do is drop the big P and he gets "lucky" - I though he named his male anatomy, but he meant Princeton. 

    He ended up getting fired for showing naked pictures of himself to a female coworker.  After this, someone in her group found a picture of him on facebook in a muscle shirt holding a kitten while flexing his biceps.  They printed it, framed it and put it on her desk.  She laughed but still looked a bit traumatized.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Ariel81916. Show Ariel81916's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    I don't think she's wrong either about the grieving process, it just seemed like she was insistent that you had to go on sabbatical from dating to do that. Casual dating can happen concurrently. (It happens that I'm more like kargiver in relationships, but that's another story for another day.)

    Probably half the people I work with know my alma mater, but not because I holler it from the rooptops. For one, I'm in my 20's so college is a little fresher, so sometimes people ask for advice about their kids making decisions about schools, financial aid, etc., and I know a lot from my own experience and my three younger sibs (four completely different experiences). Oddly enough, it also comes up when I say "y'all," because it just doesn't seem like something a girl from Boston should be saying (a lot of my college friends are from the South and it rubs off!).
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from GirlyGirl82. Show GirlyGirl82's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    I do have to say that I have also always been one of those girls that always has a boyfriend. So while I am upset that I am now single I also am not sure what to do with myself. Hanging out with my friends as a third wheel is awkward, even though no one intends for it to be awkward for me, ya know? And I do have a fear of being alone, but, it is not that I want just anyone so that I am not alone, I want that "special someone" I guess you could say, I know that sounds tacky though.


    I do like reading through everyone's different view points and what worked for each of you. It is helping me. I have been reading the weirdest guys you've dated thread too and find many of those stories quite amusing. I wonder what I am in for!


    Is it too much to ask for a good looking, nice, sweet man to be standing on my doorstep waiting for me today when I get home ready to introduce himself and sweep me off my feet? (haha, kidding. maybe...)  :D

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO?:
    [QUOTE]Is it too much to ask for a good looking, nice, sweet man to be standing on my doorstep waiting for me today when I get home ready to introduce himself and sweep me off my feet? (haha, kidding. maybe...)  :D
    Posted by GirlyGirl82[/QUOTE]

    Well, it worked for me.  After many, many years of waiting.  :)

    Good luck!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from GirlyGirl82. Show GirlyGirl82's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Lucy, I saw your post about how you and he met. I love it! If we could all be so lucky! :D
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO?:
    [QUOTE]Lucy, I saw your post about how you and he met. I love it! If we could all be so lucky! :D
    Posted by GirlyGirl82[/QUOTE]

    Well, it worked out eventually, but for ten years I would get all hopeful every time I encountered a traveling salesman, pizza delivery guy, or UPS driver.  :) 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO?:
    [QUOTE]I do have to say that I have also always been one of those girls that always has a boyfriend. So while I am upset that I am now single I also am not sure what to do with myself.
    Posted by GirlyGirl82[/QUOTE]

    I was totally that girl too. My college friends told me that something was wrong with me, lol. I disagreed; I thought that the entire point of dating was to date different people to find the traits that you want in a mate.

    Anyway. There was a good chunk of time during which I was boyfriend-less and at first I was perplexed--not because I've only been in unhealthy, codependent relationships, but because it was a lifestyle change for me--but after a little while I got into it, was making more friends, finding more hobbies, and just enjoying being with myself. It was refreshing. It got to the point where I wasn't interested in dating--and then I met FI.

    Someone mentioned that men are attracted to independent women who are happy with themselves. The "third wheel awkwardness" will ebb and you'll hit your stride, but time for yourself is really a great refresher of who you are and what you're about.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from GirlyGirl82. Show GirlyGirl82's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Thanks whirled. It is nice to know I am not the only one who has ever felt this way. I think a lifestyle change is a great way to describe it. This will definitely take some getting used to.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO?:
    [QUOTE]Thanks whirled. It is nice to know I am not the only one who has ever felt this way. I think a lifestyle change is a great way to describe it. This will definitely take some getting used to.
    Posted by GirlyGirl82[/QUOTE]

    Hey, Girly,

    If this is the case, I'd say give being truly single a good try!  I went out and bought a GPS and just drove around sometimes.  I reveled in not telling anyone where I was going (I didn't even know) or what time I thought I'd be back (what did it matter?).  I think if you give it a good whirl you'll find being alone is not only not as scary as you think it is, it's a great time!  Don't be afraid of getting to know yourself.  You might be really surprised at how much you discover out there on your own without anyone to answer to but you.

    (The puppy is asleep in her crate...with the door open and me sitting right here.  She's only 9 weeks old.  She managed to stay in with the door closed all night, but I slept on the floor next to her.  Ugh.  Let's hope that doesn't last long.  She's very sad, missing her mom and two sisters, I think.)

    P.S.  Whirled's experience was exactly like my own after the divorce.  I didn't knwo what on earth to do with myself, but I figured it out.  If I'd been busy dating, trying to get to know people other than myself, I don't think I'd have had as fun and lifetime-beneficial experience.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    (The puppy is asleep in her crate...with the door open and me sitting right here.  She's only 9 weeks old.  She managed to stay in with the door closed all night, but I slept on the floor next to her.  Ugh.  Let's hope that doesn't last long.  She's very sad, missing her mom and two sisters, I think.)

    Aw, Kar. The poor thing. I know it's a pain, but try to remember that anyone would be sad if they were taken away from their mom at such a young age, and she doesn't understand. She must be so cute!
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from GirlyGirl82. Show GirlyGirl82's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Kar, what kind of puppy?
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Liz, I didn't mean to sound unfeeling about the poor little puppy, I know it's just a stage, and of course she'd be horrified to have so many traumatic changes at once.  She IS adorable if I do say so like any new mommy would. ;) 

    Girly, she's a black lab.  So I don't hijack your thread, though, you can check out a lot more under the Overnight housebreaking thread I started on Pets.  I shouldn't have mentioned it here at all, but my mind is a little foggy.  Sorry!  I'm just all over the place today.  Headache...

    ~kar
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Kar, of course I know you don't sound mean!!! It is of course so frustrating, just like a baby. She must be so adorable.

    Girly, that's one thing you could do...get a puppy for companionship :)
    Or a kitten, or an adult cat, which is easier to take care of than a puppy.....waaaayyy easier. And pet's provide so much love.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmt09. Show kmt09's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    [QUOTE]Girly, that's one thing you could do...get a puppy for companionship :) Or a kitten, or an adult cat, which is easier to take care of than a puppy..... waaaayyy easier. And pet's provide so much love.
    Posted by Sept2010Bride[/QUOTE]

    What an awesome suggestion! 
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    I got a kitten after breaking up w/ the boyfriend that took me a while to get over. Having that little kitten really helped. Now he's a big cat and I love him more than ever. :-)   Just be prepared:  cats live a LONG time [plan on 15-20 years] and dogs require alot of work.  If it works w/ your current living situation, they are a great idea. Visit the pound and adopt a stray.

    Taking inexpensive adult ed classes in dance, cooking, languages or other fun stuff is also a good way to fill time and have fun. 
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO?:
    [QUOTE]I got a kitten after breaking up w/ the boyfriend that took me a while to get over. Having that little kitten really helped. Now he's a big cat and I love him more than ever. :-)   Just be prepared:  cats live a LONG time [plan on 15-20 years] and dogs require alot of work.  If it works w/ your current living situation, they are a great idea. Visit the pound and adopt a stray. Taking inexpensive adult ed classes in dance, cooking, languages or other fun stuff is also a good way to fill time and have fun. 
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]

    AWW!

    My cat = 14 years old, still very healthy, fat, lazy, does nothing but lay on her b*tt all day, eat, sleep, eat, sleep some more, eat some more, and more sleep. But I LOVE HER! They provide so much love!!
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    I have a guinea pig (see icon to left) and I LOVE him. He's like my child. They're not boring, but they don't require a ton of work. You should take them out at least once a day, preferably more, and they'll run around and squeak. They also like to be cuddled. So Girly, if you want a pet that's not a lot of work, guinea pigs are awesome!
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    If you got a puppy that's all you'd be doing!  I haven't even showered today and I slept in my clothes so I could go outside throughout the night.  You wouldn't have time to think about your breakup or worry about your biological clock! 

    Truly, if your living arrangements and lifestyle would accomodate a pet, I have to agree with the others.  We also have a parakeet, and I think that would be a good pet for anyone who is away most of the day.  (Hope our bird dog doesn't kill the bird for us as a gift.)
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Lucy - I was exactly the same way for a looooong time!

    Haven't had a chance to read all 7 or so pages of this thread, so am just jumping around and now jumping in with my response.

    I ended a 5-year relationship in June 2007 and 8 months later met DH on "actforlove.com".  I was 34, him 37.  Married two weeks ago. 

    A lot can change in a short period of time.  You never know what can happen... But I do believe you have to "put yourself out there" (as much as I hate that phrase).  It will happen. 


    In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO? : Well, it worked out eventually, but for ten years I would get all hopeful every time I encountered a traveling salesman, pizza delivery guy, or UPS driver.  :) 
    Posted by lucy7368[/QUOTE]
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from heatherv1211. Show heatherv1211's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    Kar - you got a puppy!!?  I missed this!  What kind did you get?  How is it going?  Training a puppy was one of the HARDEST things I ever did, and required more patience than my elementary school special education teacher job!  But I would do it all over again in a heartbeat - I'm so jealous!!


    In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO?:
    [QUOTE]If you got a puppy that's all you'd be doing!  I haven't even showered today and I slept in my clothes so I could go outside throughout the night.  You wouldn't have time to think about your breakup or worry about your biological clock!  Truly, if your living arrangements and lifestyle would accomodate a pet, I have to agree with the others.  We also have a parakeet, and I think that would be a good pet for anyone who is away most of the day.  (Hope our bird dog doesn't kill the bird for us as a gift.)
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from starbuckslas. Show starbuckslas's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    My DH and I originally met when we were 19(me) and 22.. We went on a few dates. I thought at the time he was a little to old for me. I never called him back. Fast foward to 2007 we met up again on Myspace of all places. The best part is when he friend requested me he didn't remember me, I was just a girl who lived in the same town as him. We went on our first date second time around on April Fools. We got engaged six months later and married a year after that..

    We've been married for almost 9 months now!

    We were 27 and 31 when we got married
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Where did you meet SO?

    In Response to Re: Where did you meet SO?:
    [QUOTE]My DH and I originally met when we were 19(me) and 22.. We went on a few dates. I thought at the time he was a little to old for me. I never called him back. Fast foward to 2007 we met up again on Myspace of all places. The best part is when he friend requested me he didn't remember me, I was just a girl who lived in the same town as him. We went on our first date second time around on April Fools. We got engaged six months later and married a year after that.. We've been married for almost 9 months now! We were 27 and 31 when we got married
    Posted by starbuckslas[/QUOTE]

    Starbucks, you met up 7 years after you dated the first time, and he didn't even remember you at first?  Wow, talk about meant to be!

    (heather, yeah - it's proving challenging, but both the puppy and DH and I are getting the hang of it, I think.  I'll try to post a picture in the Pets thread momentarily.)
     

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