Yet another invitation question

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Yet another invitation question

    We are getting ready to address our invites and I'm unsure of the proper way to address the inner envelope.  Our wedding is fairly casual so our invitations mirror that but we aren't inviting any cousins' children so to make that clear we got inner envelopes.

    Our outer envelopes will say either:
    "Mr & Mrs John and Jane Doe" - if just the couple are invited
    or
    "The Doe Family" - if the entire family is invited

    Should our inner envelopes say:
    "John and Jane"
    or
    "John and Jane Doe"

    That sounds kind of silly and nit-picky but I don't want to do it wrong!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    It's not silly - if you've never done formal invitations, you wouldn't necessarily know.  The inner envelope is for first names only.  So, "John and Jane."

    Or, if you call them nicknames, you use those.  So,

    "Mrs. and Mrs. Michael and Jennifer Smith" on the outer envelope could become
    "Mike and Jenny" on the inside.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    I've read it's "supposed" to be a number of ways.  Pick which you like the best.  I chose to do it how lucy describes to make it more personal sounding.  In fact, I even said Uncle Joe and Aunt Jane, too, since I (at 38) still put Uncle and Aunt in front of their names when I address them in person.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    An excellent point.  With family members, it's perfectly appropriate to put:
    "Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe."
    "Grandma and Grandpa."
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    Okay good to know!  Thanks so much.  Addressing them myself makes me nervous but the budgets tight and getting them done professionally wasn't an option. I figure we mostly invited family and they wont care what the envelope says but it's always better to check.

    How about plus 1's?  I figure that the outside would just be the individuals name and the inner envelope would say "John and Guest"?

    As a small side note, this past spring FI and I received a Save the Date that was addressed to him and a guest.  We weren't engaged yet but I'd met the couple a few times but I still thought it was weird.  Then a few months later the invitation came and it was addressed the same way, which at this point we were engaged and the groom is in our wedding!! That is a mistake I will not be making!  I will only add "and Guest" if they truly don't have a significant other.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    To be totally proper, you should find out who they will be bringing and invite them by name, not "Guest" because technically those who are single and not seeing anyone should not have a guest.  That's TECHNICALLY.  No one will care if you bend that rule.  In the 5 years I've been on BDC it's the most hottly debated issue there is.  Period.  So, if that's the case it must mean anything goes, right?  Everyone believes something different, and no one who receives your invitations and/or attends your wedding will think anything about how you choose to do it. 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    Oh, that being said, however, you don't have to follow the same rule for every invitation.  They will not compare them.  If you know some names of significant others living together say John and Jane.  If you want to invite someone and give them the option to bring any old someone (which I don't recommend, by the way, for budget purposes) have theirs say John and Guest.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    More hotly debated than open vs. cash bar?  Wink

    Kar's right, though.  If you know who they're dating, use the person's name.  Although, technically, if you are inviting John Jones who is dating Mary Smith, and they aren't living together, Mary would get her own invitation.

    If you don't know who someone is dating (or even if there is anyone), and you want to give a plus one, you would put "and guest" on the inner envelope only.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    Indeed, that's why I said if they are living together, but I should have been more explicit.  Good thing lucy and I are tag teaming this one. :)  Yes, if they are not living together they should each get their own invitation.  Of course, this will take the effort of contacting Joe and asking for his girlfriend's name and address.  I didn't mention it before since the original question was regarding the inside envelopes, but it was a miss on my part.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    We're a good team.  :)
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    Not sure where this came from but it is incorrect. 

    Mr & Mrs John and Jane Doe

    The correct way to address a married couple is:
    Mr. and Mrs. John Doe

    Jane's name shouldn't be included on the formal address.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    In Response to Re: Yet another invitation question:
    Not sure where this came from but it is incorrect.  Mr & Mrs John and Jane Doe The correct way to address a married couple is: Mr. and Mrs. John Doe Jane's name shouldn't be included on the formal address.
    Posted by downtoearth


    Unfortunately, the "correct" way is extremely insulting to most of my female friends.  I know that, technically, the wife's name shouldn't be on there, but times, they are a-changin'

    I guess the question is - is it better to be correct or to make a small accommodation to keep the peace?
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from clc51510. Show clc51510's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    AB thanks for the input but I have made the decision to include the wife's first name as well.  I think it's unfair that the wife's name is dropped, she doesn't take her husbands first name once married so I think her name should be recognized.  I certainly will not be answering to "Mrs John Doe" after the wedding! 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Stacyg. Show Stacyg's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    Hi.  Sorry to impose on this bloggers question with a question of my own, but I really need some advice.  I only have an outer envelope so I addressed them formally as:  Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.  Now for some single people such as a great aunt who is divorced I put on her outer envelope Mrs. Jane Smith.  To let her know it is ok to bring a guest what would you ladies suggest?  Do I slip a note into her invite telling her to bring one?  Thanks so much.  I really appreciate your help.
    Stacy
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    If you only have an outer envelope and you do not know of anyone she's dating, you do not have the formal option of sending the guest a separate invitation (if they didn't live together) or on the second line of the address under her name (if they did live together).  Your only option is to say Mrs. Jane Doe and Guest on the outer envelope.  This is not technically "correct," but who cares, it's done all the time, nowadays.  

    Do not slip a note inside.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from FriarGirl03. Show FriarGirl03's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    In Response to Re: Yet another invitation question:
    An excellent point.  With family members, it's perfectly appropriate to put: "Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe." "Grandma and Grandpa."
    Posted by lucy7368


    I know Aunt Beth pointed this out as incorrect because it includes the woman's name. I agree with Lucy and whomever else mentioned that they find that offensive. I do too! I'm taking your last name, but do I really have to take your first name too?!? Anyway, I'm also addressing my invitations with the woman's name but I thought the proper etiquette was "Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe", keeping the titles with the first name and the man's first name with his last name. That's also how we're representing our parents' names in the invitation.

    We're also only having outer envelopes and writing "& Guest" where appropriate.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    Mr. and Mrs. John Doe is technically the only correct way to do it.  That being said, they are your invitations and correct is in the eye of the addresser.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    What if we agree to be Mrs. and Mr. Lucy 7368? 

    I think I really have the stronger personality between the two of us.  Sealed
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from FriarGirl03. Show FriarGirl03's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    Honestly, there are so many reasons to be offended at my wedding, if someone gets upset that his wife's name is on the envelope, I'm calling it a win. Once they get to the church, see that my brother is standing up for me and that we're having an accoustic guitarist singing christian rock songs before and during the ceremony, they'll probably forget all about how their invitation was addressed.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    LOL, Friar! 
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Yet another invitation question

    and if she didn't take his his name it would be:
    Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Doe
     
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