Minor vent

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Minor vent

    Just thank her for her recommendation, and tell her that you're going in another direction. Or, don't respond to her at all. Or, flat out tell her that you know this is her husband's company.

    Now, that I think about it, it is entirely unethical for her to keep pushing her husband's company. I think, if it were me, I would feel the same way. So, forget what I said before. I don't like sneaky people, either.

    Thanks, Kargiver.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    Minor vent

    Exactly, she definitely knows for a fact.

    [Quote]Oh she "believes" they have a special program... or she knows for a fact because she lives with the guy??[/Quote]
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    Minor vent

    Ha! Well, that's one approach! :-) I actually wrote her back and told her that my uncle would be taping the wedding for us. I'm guessing she'll drop it.

    [Quote]Brighton,

    Since you know about their connection you could write back to her and say something to the affect "I checked out Buzz Media's website and I really don't like them at all, can you suggest another videographer?" That might rattle her a bit![/Quote]
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Minor vent

    if you told her you weren't planning on hiring a videographer and she's still been pushing his services, I'd be mad too! I don't think you have to say something to the venue, I agree that if she brings him up again you should say something to her.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Missy509. Show Missy509's posts

    Minor vent

    I would be suspicious of any vendor heavily promoting one other vendor to me and only that vendor. if she was outright hoonest, that is one thing. but what she should have done is hand you a sheet of preferred vendors, and had other videographers on that list as well, or mentioned her hubbys business once. but to keep harassing you about it? ridiculous. you should flat out ask her why she keeps pushing this guy on you, make her have to give you an answer
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    Minor vent

    The thing is, she didn't give me his name, then I would have known immediately that it was her husband's company. She only referred to the company name (Buzz Media) and through a little "detective work" I realized that it was her husband. We were never planning on hiring a videographer to begin with, but this whole thing is a little shady. If she mentions it again, I might need to say something to the owners of my venue. Not until after the wedding, of course!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Minor vent

    There's nothing wrong with her suggesting that you hire her husband to do the video.... if you had expressed an interest in having a video.

    There is something wrong with failing to disclose that the recommended videographer is her husband, or trying to push you into getting a video if you don't want one.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Minor vent

    lol, good one AB!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Minor vent

    I agree that it's sketchy!!

    My venue allows you to choose from a list of 5 caterers. I was put off when I realized that the caterer they recommended actually does about 80% of the weddings there, lives practically next door, and is possibly friends with the owner. Luckily they were right - he was the most affordable and I think he'll do a great job, but I still found it the tiniest bit sketchy!
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Minor vent

    [Quote]Just thank her for her recommendation, and tell her that you're going in another direction. Or, don't respond to her at all. Or, flat out tell her that you know this is her husband's company.

    Now, that I think about it, it is entirely unethical for her to keep pushing her husband's company. I think, if it were me, I would feel the same way. So, forget what I said before. I don't like sneaky people, either.

    Thanks, Kargiver.[/Quote]

    You're welcome, Goodness. Be careful and discerning. It will serve you well and not compromise your principles, either. Not everyone has the value system you have.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from somethingold. Show somethingold's posts

    Minor vent

    She appears to be trying tobe deceptive - but if you have to work with her, I wouldn't get into the game of telling her you think he stinks...it might impact her working with you. Just take everything she says with a grain of salt.

    With Kargiver's scenario - I actually don't think its as bad as the one you've experienced. If she hands you a cd gives you a website, etc etc. She's given you the tools to make an informed decision without being swayed one way or another by the family relation.

    In any event - always make your own decisions based on facts and samples you get yourself cuz as they say one can't take advantage of another, one has to let themself be taken advantage of....be sceptical but nice.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Minor vent

    [Quote]Ha! Well, that's one approach! :-) I actually wrote her back and told her that my uncle would be taping the wedding for us. I'm guessing she'll drop it.
    [/Quote]

    You are a better person than I. I would have emailed her and said, "You know, I had heard of Buzz Media previously, and I thought about hiring them, but your repeated failure to disclose the fact that you are promoting your own husband's company makes me very uncomfortable, so I have decided to go another way."
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Minor vent

    Hmm, she probably thought she was being more professional by not saying he was her husband. Have you researched him at all? LIked his stuff? If you were thinking about booking him based on your own research and not knowing he was her husband...I wouldn't let that stop you. In fact, maybe you can work out a deal!

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Minor vent

    Perhaps he is one of the vendors that the venue uses often. Doesn't hurt either side to make a recommendation.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    Minor vent

    Here's what she said to me in her most recent e-mail. Totally fishy, if you ask me.

    Any thoughts about a wedding film? Buzz Media Company is an excellent cinematic videographer and I believe if you mention you are getting married here- they have a special program.
    They have done some great documentary style work for us...
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Minor vent

    [Quote]Perhaps he is one of the vendors that the venue uses often. Doesn't hurt either side to make a recommendation.[/Quote]

    That may be, but it is beside the point. Never trust ANYONE, ever, who doesn't discose any possible conflict of interest. It's not wise under any circumstances because if they are unethical enough to not give full disclosure about that, what else are they hiding?
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie18. Show pinkkittie18's posts

    Minor vent

    Oh, she is just being outright dishonest. Why can't she even be truthful that she KNOWS there's a special program? Sketchy.

    [Quote]Here's what she said to me in her most recent e-mail. Totally fishy, if you ask me.

    Any thoughts about a wedding film? Buzz Media Company is an excellent cinematic videographer and I believe if you mention you are getting married here- they have a special program.
    They have done some great documentary style work for us...
    [/Quote]
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Minor vent

    That was weird. I usually get really defensive when I feel "pressured" into something by anyone, so even I'M confused with my initial response to this board.

    I guess it's from me hearing from everyone to "thank the person, and move on". Ha, ha.

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Minor vent

    [Quote]

    That was weird. I usually get really defensive when I feel "pressured" into something by anyone, so even I'M confused with my initial response to this board.

    I guess it's from me hearing from everyone to "thank the person, and move on". Ha, ha.

    [/Quote]

    But this was not being pressured (from the OP). It was being deceived. You missed that it was a serious conflict of interest for the wife to not disclose that the vendor she was recommending was her husband; you figured that if it were a good suggestion, what's the harm. I wanted you to understand that she was hiding it on purpose...and that was uncool. Someone can be unethical and NOT be pushy or put you on the defensive. Be on guard against the nice looking and sounding ones, too, that up 'til now haven't put you on the defensive. My point is that you need to ALWAYS be on the defensive (on the inside, anyway) so as to make these discernments.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from SoonToBeCPC. Show SoonToBeCPC's posts

    Minor vent

    Brighton,

    Since you know about their connection you could write back to her and say something to the affect "I checked out Buzz Media's website and I really don't like them at all, can you suggest another videographer?" That might rattle her a bit!
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    Minor vent

    That is so true! The coordinator at my venue isn't great to begin with, but I have no control over working with her. I guess I just need to make the best of it and not take her recommendations too seriously.

    [Quote]

    That may be, but it is beside the point. Never trust ANYONE, ever, who doesn't discose any possible conflict of interest. It's not wise under any circumstances because if they are unethical enough to not give full disclosure about that, what else are they hiding?[/Quote]
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Minor vent

    Oh she "believes" they have a special program... or she knows for a fact because she lives with the guy??
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Minor vent

    ams, you are too sweet, like my dear husband always believing that people act the honorable way he always does with the cleanest of intentions.

    One always should disclose a personal connection to a recommendation, otherwise, it's a conflict of interest. It's sleezy, and she knew that she would be less credible if she disclosed it - that's what makes it wrong to have hidden it. That's life, though, and she should have stepped up.

    Brighton, I'd be ticked, too. Nothing pushes my buttons more than deception.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    Minor vent

    I agree, Kargiver. If she had just been honest with me, I wouldn't have cared about the connection.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Brighton1. Show Brighton1's posts

    Minor vent

    I just found out that the videographer that the coordinator at my venue has been pushing is her husband! How unprofessional is that? She never came out and said it, but I figured it out. She mentioned the videographer to me when we first booked the venue and then again a few weeks ago, so I thought something was up. I did a little research....

     

Share