potluck!

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from MScGirl. Show MScGirl's posts

    potluck!

    I've posted a couple of serious questions in the last couple months, but now I'll stir the pot a little.

    What would you do if you got an invite for an out of town wedding (requires a flight or a 12-hour drive to get to) that requested/demanded a hot item for the potluck reception? Not that it really matters (it's their day and they may have family drama causing this) but the families of both B&G are quite wealthy.

    We're going to be picking up a package of chips and salsa/dip for the reception. We're getting the eye rolling/complaining out of our system now so that we can be gracious once we get to the shindig.

    ETA: sorry this is in vendors - I can't seem to fix it.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from elmirag. Show elmirag's posts

    Re: potluck!

    lol- that just seems so whacked. i'd bring a can of sterno and a book of matches for the salsa and chips. 
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from katel. Show katel's posts

    Re: potluck!

    That's a bit strange! To each his own, I guess...
    I'd contact the B or G, or the person who is "in charge" of the reception and explain that you're flying in for the wedding and won't be able to contribute a hot item for the potluck. If you desire, you can always offer to bring something else, or send something (a bottle of wine, etc) ahead of time, but I don't think that's necessary.  I'm sure, once you explain to them that you're travelling, they'll understand and not require you to bring anything!
    And by all means, grumble about it...I would be doing the same!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: potluck!

    With prices what they are, I can't begrudge the potluck reception, but I think it must go without saying that travelers are exempt from the hot food requirement.  However, I'd want to contribute and would call the person I'm closest to getting married and ask how I should go about it.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: potluck!

    What time of year is the wedding?  I would call the bride and explain, either:

    1.  That I would be delighted to drive 12 hours through the snow to her wedding and, I'm sure, that my delicious award-winning chili will be just as delicious when I arrive as when I leave home, or

    2.  That I would be delighted to drive 12 hours in my non-air conditioned car (I have A/C, but imagine the bride won't know that) to bring my world famous spinach dip to her wedding.  I'm sure it'll be perfectly delicious when I arrive.  On the other hand, I've been meaning to figure out how to make ice cream cake, so maybe I should do that, instead.

    Innocent
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: potluck!

    P.S.  Please, please, please tell me they are having an open bar.  Because that would be fantastic.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: potluck!

    Vent on, Mc. 


    Please tell me this wasn't actually included ON the invitation!  A separate insert would have been a little bit less offensive!


    I assume that there aren't going to be many long-distance guests, so they didn't think of how it would sound to you. 


    Maybe you can find a place like Edible Arrangements that would make a lovely table sculpture using hot cocktail franks instead of cold fruit!  LOL. 

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: potluck!

    I find this request/demand so bizarre.  Are you an extremely close friend/family member to the bride and/or groom?  Is this a very, very small, informal wedding, lika  backyard barbecue?  To a certain extent I can imagine a self-catered wedding, but I think to ask each wedding guest to bring a dish, without checking with them beforehand, is really strange.  If guests just chose not to comply, would you have no food for your wedding?  I would think if the bride and groom wanted a self-catered wedding, they would ask select family/friends ahead of time if they would be willing to contribute.  Did it say how many servings?  Are you being asked to bring a hot item to serve 80 people?

    I'm fascinated.  And I don't honestly think you should have to contact them and explain - they mailed the invite, therefore they know you are traveling and that didn't seem to matter!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: potluck!

    poppy, I've been to a couple of these in the midwest.  In both cases, when I RSVP'd, I contacted the hostess to let her know what I was going to bring (or to ask what she needed). 

    It's not what we're used to in this area, but no one there thought a thing about it, and they were both lovely, fun, nice weddings - not "people of WalMart" or anything like that. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: potluck!

    Cosmo - so interesting.  I've never heard of a guest being asked to bring anything to a wedding (unless it was a very tiny, very informal type of event). But maybe it's not so uncommon where the bride and groom live!
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: potluck!

    Yes, I was a little scared for the first one, I thought it was going to be wicked tacky, but it was very fun, and since everyone brought his or her specialty dish, the food was really wonderful!

    In some ways, it was better than how we do things - no one minded bringing anything and it didn't cost the B+G a fortune.  And yes it was open bar - beer and wine.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: potluck!

    I can appreciate that it's more common in some areas, but I still think it's pretty tacky, unless, as Poppy said, it's a very small, intimate affair where you've talked about it.  I know that Quaker weddings are often pot-luck, but that's part of their culture.  It's different to just randomly send out invitations telling people to show up with food.

    Also, if I went to a wedding where all of the food was provided by the guests, I would have to spend the entire reception walking around trying to find out what was in the food, because I can't eat it otherwise. 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from capecod18. Show capecod18's posts

    Re: potluck!

    My theory is if you are going to ask guest to contribute you should just elope and not have a wedding.  This is very strange.  I have only gone to one potluck wedding and the people who brought the food were family not guests.

    I think what you are bringing is fine.  I am still baffled that someone would ask you to bring food to their own wedding.  I sure hope the drinks are free or is it BYOB?
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from spinningwheel. Show spinningwheel's posts

    Re: potluck!

    Well, salsa IS hot (if you get the right kind)! 

    Though I do like Cosmo's idea of an Edible Arrangement of cocktail weenies.

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: potluck!

    My opinion would rely on how this request/demand was worded, and how it was made.

    That being said, I really like the idea of a potluck wedding. I don't find it tacky at all. Most of my family's events are potluck, in that we don't like coming empty handed, it's almost impossible to cook for the lot of us, and every party can always use more food.
    And I would prefer a potluck wedding to a ridculous and expensive destination wedding. Asking the guests to contribute, indeed!

    I would also assume that OOT guests are not obligated to bring something hot. For instance: when DH and I come to Thanksgiving dinner, which is a potluck, we bring lots of wine, cheese and crackers because everyone knows hot food isn't going to travel well on an hour-long car ride with a dog in the car.

    My advice call whomever made the request and tell them that, since you're flying, you won't be able to cook anything, and see if there's anything you could pick up in the area to bring.
    If you're totally put out by the idea, just tell them you can't bring anything, period.

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: potluck!

    In Response to potluck!:
    I've posted a couple of serious questions in the last couple months, but now I'll stir the pot a little. What would you do if you got an invite for an out of town wedding (requires a flight or a 12-hour drive to get to) that requested/demanded a hot item for the potluck reception? Not that it really matters (it's their day and they may have family drama causing this) but the families of both B&G are quite wealthy. We're going to be picking up a package of chips and salsa/dip for the reception. We're getting the eye rolling/complaining out of our system now so that we can be gracious once we get to the shindig. ETA: sorry this is in vendors - I can't seem to fix it.
    Posted by MScGirl


    I'd stop at Dunkin Donuts and get a box of Joe.  WinkProbably some doughnuts too b/c I'd want to make sure I had something edible to eat [and to dunk in my coffee]. :-) 
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: potluck!

    Coffee really isn't such a bad idea for a potluck reception!
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: potluck!

    In Response to Re: potluck!:
    Also, if I went to a wedding where all of the food was provided by the guests, I would have to spend the entire reception walking around trying to find out what was in the food, because I can't eat it otherwise. 
    Posted by lucy7368


    I think you'd have better luck with a variety of food to choose from than the usual single or two options at most weddings. Especially if you bring something you made!
    And when I go to a potluck, I bring something I think most people will like. Like baked macaroni and cheese or meatballs.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: potluck!

    http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/potluck-wedding-tacky

    great piece on potluck weddings.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: potluck!

    Interesting. Where is the wedding? I grew up in a rural town--lots of cows, gun racks on pick-up trucks, signs promoting republican candidates with lots of grammatical errors--and I've never heard of this. I mean, it could be fun, but you have to do it in a certain way. 

    Take the chips and salsa, and maybe call the B&G and let them know that the plane won't let you keep the crock pot plugged in on the flight. Are guests assigned certain foods? Who's bringing dessert? Also, how do you know the B&G?

    And thank you for this little nugget that expands our horizons to another world. Laughing
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    Re: potluck!

    I honestly think i'd be offended if I got an invitation to a wedding demanding/requesting a hot item for the reception...especially where I had to fly 12 hours to get to this wedding.  

    i'd be inclined to "send my regrets" to the invite. 
     

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