So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rirlo01. Show Rirlo01's posts

    So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    With a few lessons. 

    Any recs for lessons?  We prefer metrowest.  I'm already looking into the Arthur Murray studio in Natick, because the location is so convenient, and they do one free lesson.  Has anyone been there? 

    All tips and suggestions are welcome, too.  I have a lot of dance experience, but my FI has none.  I'm toying with the idea of choreographing our first dance, teaching him that and calling it good, as the rest of our dancing will likely be nothing fancy.  (We'll be playing your typical top 40 and classic rock and dancing like we always have at parties.)  But I wonder if taking on the role of teacher for this is a good idea.  We're a good little team and happily learn from each other all the time, but I feel like this is a job for a pro.  Maybe we can just take a couple lessons, and then I can take it from there. 

    Any ideas?  Even if you have no advice, did you take or consider taking lessons? 

    Thanks!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from NYEBride2010. Show NYEBride2010's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    We just started lessons in our area and they are kind of a sticking point for us.  The school we are going to has a package for beginners which includes 5 private lessons, 5 group lessons and 3 group/practice sessions.  This was all for almost $500 dollars.  While we are enjoying the private lessons, the group lessons are large, and not equally populated gender wise.  We went in expecting to be able to dance together and we rotate partners the entire time.  I know this is a normal practice most places but where we are going with the wedding in mind, we can't learn each others movements during those classes.  We are trying to deal with it and were going to extend it more but now we are just thinking of stopping after this session is over. 
    Just something to think about asking and make sure you are both comfortable with this possibility...FI doesn't dig it but I'm tolerable but then the guys are better looking than some of the women he has to dance with.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from jasmine09. Show jasmine09's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    We took private dance lessons with Liz from outtodance.com and we LOVED them!  My husband was VERY stressed about our first dance, and she really took the stress out of it and made it so fun and relaxing for us.  (We had tried group dance classes before at other locations, and hadn't had positive experiences.)  We did a fun foxtrot for our first dance, but really the biggest benefit has been that when we dance at other venues (other people's weddings, etc.), he is relaxed and confident on the dance floor and feels comfortable. We love to dance together now, and always get compliments on our "fancy moves".  

    ...okay, i sound like an ad for dance lessons now, but it's true. :p  
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    I second Liz!  I had taken lessons from her before I met my DH and DH and I took lessons from her for our wedding.  DH did actually know how to dance [I taught him and we took lessons elsewhere for fun before we were engaged].  Liz is phenomenol! 

    I would recommend against choreographing. If you mess up one step, you run the risk of psyching yourself out trying to recover.  Learn basic steps and go from there. You can plan 'ooh a turn here and a dip there' but don't plan each and every step. It will be much more fluid and natural that way. GL!
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rirlo01. Show Rirlo01's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    Thank you all so much!  Turns out the Arthur Murray studio is next to my hair salon, and I had an appointment last night, so I stopped in for a brochure.  I'm going to call Liz, too.  The location isn't as convenient, but your rave reviews are very persuasive!  :)

    And you're probably right about choreography, Alf!  The outtodance site says the same thing.  Love the visual of a deer caught in headlights.  Ha! 

    Happy Friday, ladies.  Thanks again.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Winter2011Bride. Show Winter2011Bride's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    NYE, what studio do you go too?  We are currently researching this.
     
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  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    dance lessons can't hurt. you're going to have to dance at your wedding anyways, so if it helps give him, and you, the confidence to make it through those first few dances, then more power to you.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from zenbat. Show zenbat's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    I think dance lessons may be the way to go. Sometimes teaching your SO can be a bit of a minefield.

    I lucked out on dancing because my FI decided that he wanted to learn some dance (preferably something "dramatic") and we've consequently been taking tango lessons for months. (We mostly go to Rugcutters in Watertown--the instructors are nice, prices are great, and you just dance with your partner.)

    I'm going to be contrary and say some level of choreography may be advisable. If one's partner is supposed to lead but freezes up in front of the audience, that'll make improvisation kinda difficult. If you work out some moves ahead of time and practice them, the leader has a better chance of having some moves s/he can still use despite stage fright. I perform dance on occasion and even when the routine is improvised, I always have a rough structure to the dance blocked out ahead of time. Dancing in settings outside one's normal routine (i.e., not class, not practicing at home) is also valuable mental preparation.

    I highly recommend learning some dance. Dance lessons have really been great for my FI and I. The dance is difficult, but when we're in class we can't really think about anything else but how to work as a team. Very mind clearing. Will probably be very helpful when the not-so-fun wedding planning kicks in. :)

    One more thing since I'm thinking about dance--practice your first dance with the shoes you're going to wear and clothes appromixating the length/bulkiness of your dress. It may seem obvious, but I think we've all watched the first-dance drama of "is the groom going to rip the dress?" unfold.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    good point zenbat. it's tough enough to memorize a routine if you've never really danced before, let alone trying to remember it with 100 members of your friends and family watching you.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    I think a few dance lessons (3-5) will go a long way and you can take it from there.  Some-guy does make a valid point, but my DH was 100% willing to take dance lessons.  He's very easy going.  We ended up going for the free one (I forget where, but I think in Brighton), and then decided we didn't have enough time.  The wedding was only like 6 weeks away. 

    I suggest you start several months before the wedding.  Otherwise you'll be so focused and counting steps that you won't enjoy the moment of your first dance.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    I have to agree with some-guy here a little bit:  just 1) make sure your FI is up for dance lessons and 2) make sure you have enough time to learn it WELL if you do take lessons and/or do a choreographed routine.  My FI and I dance, and when I first started he used to teach me.  When we first started together, it was a little tough (I dind't really like him telling me I was doing things wrong!).  So adding this kind of pressure if you guys are close to the wedding may or may not be a good idea.

    Another thing to consider:  I went to a wedding recently where the B&G and the bride and her father learned a choreographed foxtrot.  But they really obviously had just learned it for the wedding.  They were okay at it, but the bride was constantly looking at her feet and everyone was really obviously concentrating on the routine.  I actually found it quite sad.  They looked okay, but it lacked emtion.  I think the first dance doesn't have to be fancy.  I've seen brides and grooms just hold each other and turn, gazing into each others eyes, and I have to say that was much more fun to watch than a sort of beginner routine.  If you guys like to dance and have time to really learn it and have fun with it, go for it!  But if you are JUST doing this for the wedding, think about whether it is really worth it.

    And the really cheesy choreographed dances... eeek... those are bad!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    I think the obvious solution here is to go with a dance he already knows - what could be more perfect than starting off your marriage with the Electric Slide? 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rirlo01. Show Rirlo01's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    I'm laughing at the thought of dragging him to dance lessons against his will.  :)   Don't worry, I know better than that!  He picked our song, then freaked out that it's too fast, and he perked up when I suggested lessons.  It's all good. 

    Thanks for suggestions, everyone! 
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from jasmine09. Show jasmine09's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    Yeah, I thought someguy's post was funny too.  Who said anything about dragging anyone?  My husband was so relieved to be taking dance lessons.  He didn't like the idea of everyone looking at him and feeling like he didn't know what he was doing! After the first trial lesson, he was the one who decided to sign up for a whole series. Trex is right to make sure you have time to practice and feel comfortable with it.  That is what keeps it looking fun instead of stiff and rehearsed.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    My husband suggested that I teach him how to dance /that we take lessons.  I love to go out dancing. Real dancing [ballroom, swing] not club dancing. I would go out at least 1x per month w/ my girlfriends when I was dating my DH.  He thought 'hmmm, she is dancing w/ other men; maybe I'd better learn how to dance'.  Not that I was going dancing specifically to meet anyone [esp not when I was dating DH!], but b/c I enjoy dancing and you do need a partner for social dancing.

    I think some_guy does have a point about teaching your SO to dance. It can go badly.  One of the reasons we ended up going for professional lessons was b/c we were both getting frustrated w/ me teaching him - me b/c I could only describe so many ways how to do a step b/c I'm not a pro and him b/c my explanation wasn't answering his question.  We took the pro lessons and we've been dancing ever since. We still go dancing a few times per year, not including weddings.  I learned to mountain bike and he learned how to dance. We are both happy. :-) 

    And our wedding dance was awesome too, but we would have taken the lessons anyway. 
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    Find out what Arthur Murray's system can do, given you want to take 3-5 lessons and learn for your wedding only.  their system (which my husband and I have been doing for doing for 4 years and we love it) involves taking private lessons, group lessons, and going to their dance parties where you practice dancing in a semi-real setting (you dance around to music, but they'll tell you what the dance step is, and there are instructors who will dance with you which makes you even better).  But I wouldn't say that you'll learn much with their system in 3 or 5 lessons - their system is for when you're in it for the long haul. 

    BUT perhaps they have something else if you are very clear that this is what you want.

    And I would learn a few series of steps that you can put together, and then practice just dancing and having him lead you through those steps vs. doing a major choreographed dance because a) if you forget one step you'll be all off, and flustered and b) for the reason trex said - you want to be dancing from love and emotion not  trying to remember 1, 2, 3 now a dip and then a turn and then the promenade...
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from NYEBride2010. Show NYEBride2010's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    In Response to Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance:
    NYE, what studio do you go too?  We are currently researching this.
    Posted by Winter2011Bride


    Sorry, missed this post!  We got to ClubWest in North Attleboro.  It's nice and we actually just finished our last private lesson tonight.  We are going to attend some practice sessions then restart the private lessons closer to our date.  We got our whole dance planned in 5 sessions....Alf is right too.  Keep it loose.  We didn't fully choreograph...just the entrance and end with the middle just mixing up the dips, turns and basic steps.  We are doing the Foxy, which is a slow night-club dance, modified from the Foxtrot.   Its fun and easy to learn.  Fi was stressed about learning and he really has taken it seriously and learned a lot! 
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rirlo01. Show Rirlo01's posts

    Re: So I *Think* My FI Can Dance

    I meant to get back to y'all with an update!  I would have loved to go with Liz, considering the great recs, but we decided we couldn't pass up the convenience of Arthur Murray.  (FI's train stops next door.) 

    We've had two private lessons (one free, one part of our package) and are having a blast.  The time commitment is hard for us right now, but when we're there, we have a great time.  FI is amazing!  I wouldn't say it comes easily to him, but he is very focused and seems determined to learn.  He has a natural wiggle in his hips, too.  :) 

    Thanks again for all the input!  I'll be sure to review the studio/program once we've completely our lessons or after the wedding, when I write about all the vendors. 
     
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