Need advice on timing

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Need advice on timing

    I just got engaged on Christmas day and am very excited to start planning.  I've always pictured a late spring through early fall outdoor wedding ceremony.  So I'm basically looking at either Summer/Fall 2010 (6-9 months away) or to wait until 2011. 

    Any thoughts on whether 6-9 months is doable?  I don't want to feel rushed but I think waiting a year and a half may drive me nuts towards the end.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    It's toally doable, as long as you are flexible. You are looking at the busiest and most popular season for weddings, so vendors and venues may be booked.  If you are flexible about your options, it's totally doable to plan everything in 6-9 months. I was done planning in 6 months, though we had an 11 month engagement - we wanted to wait for spring b/c all of DH's family had to fly in from Florida to Boston and we didn't want to deal w/ weather issues/cancellations. 

    You can certainly do it!  Congrats on your engagement. :-)
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Congratulations!!!!  Welcome to our (quiet right now) community!

    As ALF says, you have plenty of time, but you must start right away on venue and church booking.  Also, if you are religious, you need to contact the pastor/priest and plan how you will meet your pre-marital requirements.  Those are the big time consumers.  Everything else can be done fairly quickly if, like ALF said, you are willing to bend if you can't get exactly what you have in mind for any particular thing.  For instance, if you like a designer dress that takes 6 months to come in, well, you'll have to get a different one.  You know?

    My DH and I also got engaged on Christmas Morning 2007.  We just celebrated our first wedding anniversary (we got married 11 months after we got engaged).

    YAY!!

    P.S.  You are wise to recognize it can be very stressful to have a too-long engagement.  It's really a stressful state of limbo, frankly, even though you are excited and thrilled, etc.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ajuly09. Show ajuly09's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Just chiming in here to agree with the ALF and Kar, it is doable.   Once you have the major things booked it is pretty easy (so to speak) from there.  
    I got engaged in June 2008 and had a July 09 wedding.  The problem that I ran into even a YEAR out was that everything was booked.  I basically had to get on the ball right away after we got engaged.  I found that for a saturday summer wedding most places only had one saturday left for the whole season.   So it will really depend on month and day of the week you want, even a Friday will have more openings than saturdays.   I was not able to pick my wedding date, the venue picked it for me, the only date left!  I was able to book things like my florist pretty easily but I was not able to get my first choice for a band.     
      If you decide to do this summer/fall, I'd get on the ball now and see what is out there for venues.  Good luck!! 
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Hi SSBride! Congrats and welcome!

    My friend got married in Oct 08 and she planned her wedding in just about 6 mos.  She was really good at making decisions quickly and knowing what she wanted.  Also did a lot of DIY and got her dress off the rack at David's Bridal.  It is definitely doable as long as you realize you might not get your first choice for everything.

    Myself, we started wedding planning about 1 year out and when we booked a place we had like 10 mos to go, which I thought was PLENTY of time, but even now I'm starting to stress about getting everything booked!  Planning a wedding takes a lot of time, so just be ready for the stress!  The dress is a good example, it is taking me WAY longer to choose than I expected and since they take 6 months to come in plus at least 1 month for alterations, I need to pick soon if I want to order a dress!

    Good luck!
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    My advice is to be flexible on your date. As ajuly said, places can be booked up pretty far in advance, so just look and see what's out there before you have your heart set on a date.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Oh, meant to mention that we were married at the Wayside Inn in Sudbury after attending our dear friends' wedding there.  We (essentially) had the same wedding they did (with their blessing!).  We were engaged 11 months and they were engaged 5 months.  Both couples used their whole engagement to plan the "same" wedding.  So, if you're focused, you can plan what took us 11 months in 5. :)
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Congrats SS!  Also congrats Kar on the anniversary of your engagment!

    SS - totally doable (I got engaged October 2008 and married June 2009), but as the girls said, be flexible.  Saturday nights for late spring through fall might already be booked at venues you like, but look at afternoons, Sundays or Fridays.  If you think you will need to order your dress, get started on that soon.

    Exciting!  As crazy as it was, I sometimes miss the planning!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from easydoesit2. Show easydoesit2's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    I say wait until 2011.  You want to be flexible? You will (hopefully) have many decades after the wedding date to exercise your "flexibility" as you go through married life.  Don't rush.  This should be the one and only day like this in your entire life!  Why wouldn't you want it to be EXACTLY what you want in EVERY detail?  Just identifying the details can be stressful, much less executing them, and you would need to hurry up about it, too.  Maybe the young women on these pages know better than this old married man, but if I had a daughter, that's what I'ld tell her.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    I don't think most people know EXACTLY what they want in EVERY detail for their weddings. Stressing out over those things for one day isn't worth it. It doesn't have to be perfect because perfection is impossible. Pick something you like and leave it at that.
    You won't regret not having matching cocktail napkins or that sort of thing, I promise.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Pink is so right.  Go for the shorter engagement and don't let the little nutty things get to you at all.  Please, go with your gut and a shorter engagement.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from trex509. Show trex509's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Actually, easydoesit has a good point.  I was answering the question of is 6-9 mos doable (absolutely!), however, if the question was would I do 2010 or 2011, I woudl probably say aim for 2011.  That way you have plenty of time to enjoy being engaged and really think about what you want for your wedding.  You will have your pick of most places and dates that you want, plenty of time to enjoy dress shopping, etc without it being rushed!  I got engaged in July 2008 and we waited.  We moved in together and then bought a house in spring 2009.  Then started planning around summer 2009 for our Aug 2010 wedding. It took us like 2 mos of looking at places and by the time we decided on the perfect venue, we got the last summer Sat date they had available!  And that was 1 year in advance!

    Of course, it all depends on your situation and what you want.  If the details are really important to you, you really want a Sat (like me) and you don't mind a little longer engagement, go for 2011.  However, if you just can't wait to be married and don't mind compromising a little on the specifics, go for 2010!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Not everyone enjoys the state of limbo that engagement is (if you aren't living together already, maintaining two living situations, etc.) - you're not dating and you're not married.  A year and a half of that would have been torture for us, way worse than "hurrying" which I quote because with 6 - 9 months she wouldn't have to hurry at all in the first place.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from FriarGirl03. Show FriarGirl03's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    I'm doing it! We got engaged at the end of November and are getting married June 5, 2010. It's a 6 month and 2 week engagement. I too envisioned a spring wedding and waiting until 2011 would be TORTURE! Our personalities being what they are, it's better for us to make quick decisions and move on. If we had the time, we'd be very indecisive!

    The only thing I might caution you on is that, as people have mentioned, the venues and vendors that you might be hoping for are likely to be booked. We had a list of about 10 places in mind for our wedding and none of them were 1.) available or 2.) big enough for our 215 person guest list. We had to come up with a Plan B, which we're happy with, but it was very discouraging when we kept hearing that places were booked up.

    You also need to make finding a dress a priority because they take a long time to come in.

    Other than that, CONGRATULATIONS AND GOOD LUCK!


     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from SSBride09. Show SSBride09's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Thanks to everyone for all the advice.  Like most of you said, I think I'm going to just start looking at venues and essentially let the venue pick the date for me. 

    If the place we like has something open in 2010 I'm leaning towards sooner rather than later.  I think I'm a pretty flexible person and quick decision maker.  I feel like I would agonize more over every decision though if allowed to for too long.

    Ok, so now I need venue ideas... I'll start another post on that.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from jesskl. Show jesskl's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Just some food for thought to help you make your decision. I got engaged in May 2009 and wanted a summer 2010 wedding. I'm getting married in downtown Boston in July 2010 (14 month engagement). We began looking for venues right away, and already most Saturday evenings for most of the summer were booked. We ended up with a Sunday (partially because of the booked up venues, but mostly because we are Jewish), but pretty much had a very very slim pickings of Saturdays. And this was 13 to 14 months in advance!!!
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    My sister got engaged in May 2009 and is getting married in late January 2010.  It's definitely doable, but January also isn't the busiest time of the year to get married. 

    Congratulations on your engagement.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Hey, Goodness, how's married life?  Email me, kargiverbdc at gmail dot com!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Hi Kar.  Married life is terrific :)
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    OMG Goodness! Where have you been? Although I just came "back" like 2 weeks ago! How was your wedding??? It was in October, right?
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Summer2010. Show Summer2010's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    We got engaged in mid-July 2009 and our wedding is July 4, 2010.  I would have preferred a shorter engagement but we also wanted a summer wedding.  If the proposal came later we would still be getting married during the summer of 2010. 

    You definitely have enough time.  I pretty much had all of our major vendors booked by the end of summer and I wasn't even rushing to do that.  You just have to be decisive.  I didn't want to meet with 10 photographers, 5 florists, etc.  I couldn't be bothered.  I did my research and made informed decisions without taking tons of time. 

    I know that a lot of people have been commenting on places being booked for many Saturday nights but I did not find this to be the case.  Like I said, we were engaged in mid-July and were looking for a summer 2010 date.  I went to the State Room, the Taj and the Ritz and they all had tons of Saturday nights to pick from.  I requested info from the Intercontinental, the Liberty, the Lenox and a few others and they all had lots of summer Saturday nights left too.  We toured a few places in Newport as well and had a few less dates to pick from but nonetheless, they were available if you aren't picky about the exact date. 

    It is defintely feasible and you won't even have to rush.  I would find the venue first so you know the date and then you can get the rest of your vendors.

    Good luck!

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goodness1. Show Goodness1's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Yes, the wedding was in October, and it was lovely.  We had a wonderful time, and everything was beautiful.  Thank you for asking.

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rapunzel41. Show Rapunzel41's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    We got engaged on 11/30/2009 and we're aiming for a Fall 2010 wedding ourselves.  Right now, we have five weekends we're looking at, though we're really hoping to do it in October - better chance of nice weather for an outdoor ceremony.

    Truth be told, even though I'm usually a wicked control freak, I'm not being all that picky about the wedding planning.  I'm not "settling" - I just don't have a dream wedding in my mind, so there are no expectations to live up to.  It's kind of a relief.  We've been sending out emails, inquiring about possible dates and getting an idea of preliminary costs.  We're looking at all kinds of venues - museums, hotels, inns, farms, restaurants - all over Massachusetts.  It's giving us way more options than I expected to have.

    We've only visited one place so far...  I'm not in love with it - in fact, even though the venue itself is cool, I absolutely hate the area it's in.  I'd be embarrassed to ask our families and friends to drive through the run down neighborhoods that surround it!  That being said, it's still on the maybe list because my FI really likes it.  It'll stay on the list until we see a place he likes even better!  LOL!

    I just want to get the venue picked so we can finalize a date and let all of our OOT family and friends know.  There'll be a lot of them, so the more notice we can give them, the easier for them to plan.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Rap and Summer- you guys have the right attitude when it comes to planning. Being able to be decisive and not worry about things being "perfect" is the best way to reduce stress and reduce your chances of becoming a bridezilla.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Need advice on timing

    Not only to keep from being a bridezilla but to be totally thrilled with your wedding day!
     

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