Second weddings

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from LindaO1MrsO1. Show LindaO1MrsO1's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    In Response to Second weddings:
    Does anybody have any ideas for  a place to have a second wedding?[Catholic]  I'm interested in finding a beautiful place for a small reception and ceremony. Any place in New England would be great.  Think Ladies think.
    Posted by maggierep

    I am presuming that you/both of you have an annulment of the first weddings from the Catholic Church.  If you don't have the annulments, then the annulments need to be addressed before planning a second wedding.  The annulment process can take several months/years. Once you have completed the annulment process there are several other areas/questions to be addressed.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kiwigal. Show kiwigal's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    Wow, that's a big assumption that both people are divorced and seeking annulments. There's just as good a possibility that they are a widow/widower couple.

    Anyway, as for locations, I think a lovely B&B or inn would be a wonderfully romantic place for a small, personalized reception. I am assuming that you will be married in the Church as you mentioned being Catholic. If you want to be married in your home parish, then that may narrow down your choices. If the reception can be at a distance, either in location or on a separate date, then there are more possibilities. I would choose a Church and date first, then work from there. If you know those things, let us know and people can offer more specific suggestions.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from LindaO1MrsO1. Show LindaO1MrsO1's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    In Response to Re: Second weddings:
    Wow, that's a big assumption that both people are divorced and seeking annulments. There's just as good a possibility that they are a widow/widower couple. Anyway, as for locations, I think a lovely B&B or inn would be a wonderfully romantic place for a small, personalized reception. I am assuming that you will be married in the Church as you mentioned being Catholic. If you want to be married in your home parish, then that may narrow down your choices. If the reception can be at a distance, either in location or on a separate date, then there are more possibilities. I would choose a Church and date first, then work from there. If you know those things, let us know and people can offer more specific suggestions.
    Posted by kiwigal

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from LindaO1MrsO1. Show LindaO1MrsO1's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    In Response to Re: Second weddings:
    In Response to Re: Second weddings :
    Posted by LindaOmrsO

    Kiwigal, I do understand that the OP could be a widow/widower.  However, I felt the OP did not give enough information about having a second wedding in the Catholic Church.  Another poster indicated that an annulment can take several months/years.  I would caution the OP to take that into consideration.  I would stongly suggest that she consult with her pastor - or another person in the Catholic Church about the Annulment process especially if both persons need to seek an  Annulment Decree.  I think any priest the OP would approach would also suggest that they wait until the Annulment Decrees were received.  And, only after that would they begin to discuss a second wedding.  Kiwigal or OP, let me know if you have questions.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    In 1910 (or 1960), it would have been a huge assumption that one or both of the parties were divorced.  In 2010, it's less of a giant leap to conclusions and more of a tiny step.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ScooterSM. Show ScooterSM's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    The Swedenborg Chapel on the Harvard campus is really nice, and they do a variety of types of weddings.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from maggierep. Show maggierep's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    Actually the annulment is being worked on as we speak.  I'm asking about lovely places to have a second wedding.  I don't expect  my parents to pay for this wedding, nor should they.  However, I still would like to find a place for the wedding.  It will be my fiances first wedding.  His parents are just wonderful and would go anywhere for us.  I have a few relatives who are deathly afraid of flying, and therefore I would love to find a place in New England.  I truly want to get married in the Catholic church, but I need ideas  for inns or B&B's.  Thanks so much for your answers.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Peonie. Show Peonie's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    Depending on size there is the Wayside Inn in Sudbury.

    -Barker Tavern in Scituate
    -Ocean View Inn in Gloucester
    -Concord's Colonial Inn in Concord, MA
    -Red Lion Inn, Cohassat

    There are a ton on the Cape, I just can't think of anything right now.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    I don't think anyone was suggesting that you expected your parents to pay for the wedding...

    The Wayside Inn is gorgeous - Kargiver got married there, if you need more information.  I believe they have both a smaller chapel and a larger place where you can hold the ceremony. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    There's also Arrowhead Acres in Uxbridge. It has ceremony and reception space options. The chapel in the pines is just lovely.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    In Response to Re: Second weddings:
    I don't think anyone was suggesting that you expected your parents to pay for the wedding... The Wayside Inn is gorgeous - Kargiver got married there, if you need more information.  I believe they have both a smaller chapel and a larger place where you can hold the ceremony. 
    Posted by lucy7368


    I haven't posted this even though I loved our wedding there because they do not allow Catholic ceremonies in the on-site chapel; it's Protestant.  Of course, yes, you could have the reception at the Inn and the wedding in a nearby Catholic Church, though.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    In Response to Re: Second weddings:
    In Response to Re: Second weddings : I haven't posted this even though I loved our wedding there because they do not allow Catholic ceremonies in the on-site chapel; it's Protestant.  Of course, yes, you could have the reception at the Inn and the wedding in a nearby Catholic Church, though.
    Posted by kargiver


    Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't know that.  For some reason, I was thinking you were Catholic, and they were, too.  I blame my mother for raising me to think that Catholic was the only faith (I never even heard of Jews until I was about 13).

    Just an aside - will the Inn allow non-religious ceremonies, if you don't use the chapel?
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from maggierep. Show maggierep's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    The Wayside Inn is wonderful , our family gets together there at least twice a year.  Old memories of ex  might interfere.  Barkers Tavern is where we had the first reception.  The Colonial Inn is very nice.  My cousin had her bridal shower there. I would like a small but elegant  reception this time.  My parents are very old fashioned and feel they should pay.  I told them  they already gave me the most beautiful wedding, it just didn't last.  I would really like to be able to put this together so there is no wedding drama involved. My relatives were very generous at my first wedding.  I would love to have them witness my marriage, but I feel awkward having them giving us gifts.  How on earth do I handle this?
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    In Response to Re: Second weddings:
    In Response to Re: Second weddings : Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't know that.  For some reason, I was thinking you were Catholic, and they were, too.  I blame my mother for raising me to think that Catholic was the only faith (I never even heard of Jews until I was about 13). Just an aside - will the Inn allow non-religious ceremonies, if you don't use the chapel?
    Posted by lucy7368


    lucy, no problem - I'm sure you're remembering that my DH is Catholic (I'm the one that had the issue with his needing me to get an annulment and the disaster that follwed).  We used the chapel in a Protestant ceremony, and it was a personal sacrifice for DH.

    The Inn itself is not religious so I'm sure they'd allow for any type of ceremony on the premises other than in the chapel itself, but I'd call to find out.  I'm not THAT sure. :)
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    The best way to handle the gift thing is word of mouth, since you aren't supposed to mention gifts in the invitation (even if it's to say that you don't want any).

    Make sure your parents, his parents, and your MOH and best man know that you don't want any gifts.  Those are usually who guests will call to find out where/if you're registered. 
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    Maggie, you are sweet to worry about it, but frankly, you DON'T handle it.  If people want to give you gifts they will.  If your friends and family WANT to throw you a second shower it's their perrogative.  Go with the flow and enjoy whatever people want to do and how they want to celebrate with you.  That's the MOST gracious thing to do.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    How large a wedding are you planning on?  I looked at these places, but neither was large enough and we only had 100 people. 

    http://www.marbleheadinn.com/

    http://www.harborlightinn.com/index.htm

    I believe the first one was since sold, so I don't know if they do weddings any more. 

    We ended up at the Lyceum in Salem for the reception.  We had the wedding itself in a Church.  They do weddings onsite at the Lyceum.  GL
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    Spreading "no gifts" around is in poor taste, imo.  You can't get to everyone, and people don't care it's your second wedding, anyway - they want to help you celebrate THIS one - you're happy, and they are happy for you.  That is, unless they are selfish people who figure you get a lifetime limit of one wedding gift.  These jerks can just withhold their gift without being told "no gifts."
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    In Response to Re: Second weddings:
    Spreading "no gifts" around is in poor taste, imo.  You can't get to everyone, and people don't care it's your second wedding, anyway - they want to help you celebrate THIS one - you're happy, and they are happy for you.  That is, unless they are selfish people who figure you get a lifetime limit of one wedding gift.  These jerks can just withhold their gift without being told "no gifts."
    Posted by kargiver



    I just meant to tell people who ask where the couple is registered.  I don't think they should start a phone tree or send out mass e-mails or anything.

    I saw a wedding website once where it said, "Your presence at our wedding is all the gift we could ever hope for.  However, here is a list of items that may prove useful."  Then, a link to their three registries.    I think that's in poor taste.

    When people ask about gifts, I don't think it's in poor taste to say that the couple is requesting no gifts. Of course, it's also been said on these boards that, since some people will feel the need to buy a gift anyway, the couple should start a small registry of things like sheets and towels, where you can always use more.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    I think it's in poor taste for the couple to request no gifts in the first place.  I understand this is debatable, but it's my opinion nonetheless.  No one should feel like they are going against the couple's wishes to buy them a gift.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    In Response to Re: Second weddings:
    I think it's in poor taste for the couple to request no gifts in the first place.  I understand this is debatable, but it's my opinion nonetheless.  No one should feel like they are going against the couple's wishes to buy them a gift.
    Posted by kargiver


    Ok.  I get what you're saying.  I'm not sure that's as unpopular an opinion as you think.  What do you think about charitable donations in lieu of gifts?  (Although, I suppose the couple can just take any monetary gifts received and donate that).
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    well I think we can all agree that no matter what you desire as a gift, it shouldn't be mentioned on the invitations.
    When people ask what to give- and they will- that's when you tell them.
    I'm of the opinion that since they're asking you what you want, it's okay to be honest as long as you're not asking for the moon.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from FriarGirl03. Show FriarGirl03's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    I found the "where are you registered" question really awkward, especially when it was preceded with "Sorry I can't come to your wedding." We didn't want our guests to feel like a gift was necessary, BUT if they were planning on getting us something, it might as well be what we'd like. It's kind of a delicate situation.

    FWIW, I've never held back on a gift because it is a second wedding. I might give you a different type of gift because you probably already have cool kitchen gadgets and such, but I wouldn't give you less.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    Also, it's not his second wedding - his friends and family are going to want to give him gifts.

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    Hi, maggierep:

    Can you tell us how many guests and what your budget is.....no sense sending you info on a place that's too large, too small, or too expensive.

    Other Catholic brides on these boards have cautioned that you can't assume you can have your wedding in any Catholic church.  Some will only do it for parish members.  So I guess you need to find your venue and your church at the same time.....

    There are many lovely places on the Cape, NH, Maine, etc. but that means that your guests will generally be subject to a two-night minimum stay at a hotel, B+B, etc. for a room - if you're okay with that, let us know, too. 

    Is being close to an airport a consideration?  Prefer city, suburb, resort, etc.?  Will any of your guests require a facility that is wheelchair friendly, etc.?
     

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