Second weddings

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    In Response to Re: Second weddings:
    I don't think so; guests do want a guide as to what the couple wants and needs if they are choosing to give a gift.  It's the passive aggressive, "no need to give us a gift, BUT..." statement that makes it a problem.  For me, anyway.  I just hate it.
    Posted by kargiver


    That's exactly what I was trying to say.  :)
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    I still agree with Trex that it seems that you can't win when it comes to gifts. No matter what you do or do not do, someone is going to think you're rude for doing it. And if that's the case, why the heck should we bother?

    I don't think it's passive agressive or disingenuous, I think of it more as stating the obvious: "We know that you don't have to give us a gift, you know that you don' have to give us a gift, we're letting you know that we know that you don't have to give us a gift. We know that you might want to give us a gift anyways. You know you might want to give us a gift anyways. We're letting you know that we know that you might want to give us a gift anyways. We know that if you want to give us a gift anyways, you'll want to know what we want. You know that if you give us a gift anyways you'll want to know what we want. We're letting you know what we want be cause we know that you know that you want to know."

    and it's all so freaking ridiculous that it makes me want to spew.

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    Letting the definition of the word "gift" speak for itself never offends anyone.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    In Response to Re: Second weddings:
    Letting the definition of the word "gift" speak for itself never offends anyone.
    Posted by kargiver


    but even that's not true. Especially when you direct a "gift to charity" or even certain types of gift registries people consider rude. You really can't win.

    Half the time I honestly feel the problem isn't what you're asking for or how you're asking for it, it's the people you're asking it from. People love to find ways to be offended, even if you're falling all over yourself to be unoffensive. Which is exactly what I think the phrase "your presence is present enough..." is. A cutesy phrase people use in a hopeless attempt to diffuse an impossibly awkward situation where you can't seem to want gifts but you're rude if you don't want gifts.
    These things make me feel the primary function of etiquette is to create a maze of rules so unavigatible that it's impossible for anyone to ever be totally proper, so that those who think themselves proper can snicker about it.
    The whole registry deal is so full of pretense that most of me thinks we'd all better off just being frank and letting the chips fall where they may.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Second weddings

    Again, we find ourselves in a situation where we must agree to disagree; I'm sure you're as ready to move on from here as I am.
     

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