11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Right Said Ed. Show Right Said Ed's posts

    11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    It's November 14, 2011, and America has somehow survived the opening weekend of Adam Sandler's "Jack and Jill."  On Rotten Tomatoes, the movie received 3% positive reviews from critics.  Some guy named Michael A. Smith was the first to bust up the perfect 0% rating, and has received a landslide of horrendous comments as a consequence.  Most of the comments muse about ways in which Mr. Smith should die, but my favorite keeps to the film itself:

    "Joe M on 11-12-2011 12:57 AM
    I took my family to see this movie. My wife went blind about half an hour in. Then, only twenty minutes later, my son up and died. This movie is worse than 9-11"

    Please tell me you did not see this film this weekend.  And if you did, please tell me how you're dealing with the shame.
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    I have not seen the film.  Thank you for starting the daily thread when I forgot due to flakishness.  I am now going straight to Rotten Tomatoes, because I forgot how much fun it is to read scathing reviews of terrible films.
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    Some highlights from the actual reviews:

    "Howard the Duck, Gigli, Showgirls, From Justin To Kelly. What do they all have in common? They're all widely considered to be among the worst big studio movies ever made. You know what else they have in common? They're all better than Jack and Jill."

    "A clear sign that Sandler and director Dennis Dugan aren't even trying anymore, safe in the knowledge that fans will emulate Divine in John Waters' Pink Flamingos and chow down on whatever dog **** is presented to them."

    "Not since The Love Guru have I seen a film that was such an lazy, unfunny, utter failure in entertainment of all forms."
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    Eddie, I love classic Adam Sandler - Happy Gilmore is one of my favorite movies of all time.  But times have changed.  I'd never even consider seeing this movie.  His production company "Happy Madison" has made movies that are bad beyond words.  Grown Ups is a perfect example - Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade - I honestly wouldn't have thought those guys could have made a movie that bad if the were trying to make the worst movie ever. 
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    In its defense, showgirls has nudity. Now a turkey like "Red Sonja" really has nothing going for it
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    I saw a few real stinkeroos with my kids. But nothing worse than when I took a couple of guys from a group home to see "The Stupids" with Tom Arnold. No, it really exists and I really saw it in the theater:

     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    My kids like a lot of the movies that I like, but they also like teenage crapola and steaming piles of romcoms. In protest, whenever that half-downs vampire kid from Twilight comes on the screen in my house I rip my shirt off and start running around begging for cake.
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    If tween television is the equivalent of human vomit, Big Time Rush is the black-tar semi-liquid bilious lining that comes out during dry heaves.
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    I take it Big Time Rush isn't about people huffing silver spraypaint?
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    On Wizards of Waverly place, Dom DeLuise's son constantly spritzes up with aerosol keyboard cleaner. Dude is a raging meth head too, the whole show is about how he imagines that he's part of a half-human, half-wizard family. That shizz is messed up.
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    From SomethingAwful:

    "Normally I wouldn't waste my semi-precious time excoriating a has-been movie star, but Adam Sandler crossed the movie star line a long time ago. You see, Adam Sandler is really loyal to his friends. He takes care of Kevin James and Nick Swardson. He makes sure Rob Schneider can put cocaine on his table and David Spade can afford the cobra venom injections in his crow's feet. Basically all the comedians too weak to care for themselves have been placed in a zoo and fed pellets by Adam Sandler. Every year he opens the doors of the zoo so all his caged comedians can run free and maul the (crud) out of the concept of humor."
     
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  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Archangel Michael. Show Archangel Michael's posts

    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    "Hey, we're going to see Zookeeper 2: Zookeepier!"

    I'm pretty sure Kevin James is famous because the blundering, blubbery male stereotype is a monkeymaker.
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    I saw Martha Marcy May Marlene recently. It's the Kevin James antidote. Also, nice to know that one of those Olsen brats really can act.
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    The King of Queens was on for 9 seasons, so I think it's safe to say that a lot of people like Kevin James.  I think he's amusing.  Also that Leah Remini was hot.
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    McDonalds has sold 50 kabillion burgers, that does not mean the food is of good quality.
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    In Response to Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World:
    [QUOTE]I'm pretty sure Kevin James is famous because the blundering, blubbery male stereotype is a monkeymaker.
    [/QUOTE]

    That's probably the biggest part of it - "The King of Queens" was basically and updated "Honeymooners," right?  (Not that I'm comparing Keving James to Jackie Gleason - that would be blasphemous.) 
     
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    Re: 11-14 Living in a Post Jack-and-Jill World

    Good point Steddie, but I didn't say James was quality, just that people like him.  Like Mcdonalds - fat and amusing.
     

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