About that word...

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from BDCMod1. Show BDCMod1's posts

    About that word...

    IDMWIT and RDG – You are welcome to your own views, but I think you are both missing the point about the “b-word.” It’s a pornographic term, and Boston.com has therefore banned it from the comments. Rather than leave you all puzzling over why the comments were removed, and why the word got through one day but didn’t the next, I decided to explain it to you in the hope that you would all stop trying to circumvent the word filters.

     

        I’m sure you could Google around and find the reference that I read many months ago when we banned the word, but I don’t suggest doing so at work, especially if your boss might see your computer screen. The pictures are quite graphic.

     

        I wonder if you are using the word to refer to a one-on-one experience, but if so, then you are not reading the same Urban Dictionary that I am. It is a group practice, and is generally used to humiliate women. That is the comparison I was trying to make between bukkake and gang-rape and stoning.

     

       I don’t think it’s something you want to be joking about. In any event, it’s not allowed on Boston.com, and that’s why the comments were removed.

     

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Dread27. Show Dread27's posts

    Re: About that word...

    Hi BDCMod1!  If I set up a bowling event would you go?
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Dread27. Show Dread27's posts

    Re: About that word...




    This could be us.  Hanging out.  Going bowling.  I know you want to.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Dread27. Show Dread27's posts

    Re: About that word...

    After we go bowling then we can all help you figure out that pesky labyrinth.  Maybe David Bowie could come along.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: About that word...

    I don't want to read anything on the blog that I get ads for in my Hotmail Spam folder, so thanks, Mr. Taur.  :)

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from -RobsMom-. Show -RobsMom-'s posts

    Re: About that word...

    I'm in agreement with everyone here regarding these, um, topics.  I also like DG's new nickname for you Mr. Taur.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Dread27. Show Dread27's posts

    Re: About that word...

    He's coming for you BDCMod1:




     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from ItDoesntMatterWhatIThink. Show ItDoesntMatterWhatIThink's posts

    Re: About that word...

    Hi BDCMod1 -

    First, I fully support the ban of that word, as anything explicitly graphic doesn't have a place here. If a word is banned, a word is banned. We don't have to argue about it. I don't make the rules, I just try to play by them (occasionally bend them).

    That's not what I was questioning.

    What bothered me was your equating it to stoning (murdering) or gang-raping women; I thought that was unfounded, in poor taste and condescending. They are in no way similar. Ask a rape victim if it's the same.

    The internet is not the end-all, be-all. Just because Urban Dictionary says something doesn't make it true. If you want a laugh, type my last name in URBAN DICTIONARY and see what comes up... Wow, and I mean wow!

    Whether or not "that industry" humiliates women is subjective, but the act itself is not inherently humiliating or abusive. Plenty of women enjoy it. Different strokes for different folks.

    Thanks for responding though. I do admire the job you do on the website, I just love me some debate.

    Have a great afternoon.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from BDCMod1. Show BDCMod1's posts

    Re: About that word...

    Hi, IDMWIT – First, thanks for taking the time to expand on your views here away from the main action.

        As I said, we discussed this word a few months ago when it was banned, and I looked it up, as I’d never heard of it before. Wish I could access the reference that I found back then, and maybe when I have time I’ll find it again. The explanation was that in ancient Japan, women who committed adultery were stripped and subjected to this practice by a group of men to humiliate them. Perhaps this was not the most common punishment – I wouldn’t know.

        In any event, I didn’t intend to equate the activity itself, as practiced then or now, to anything else. I was simply trying to make the point that it is an activity that has been used to humiliate and oppress women, and therefore it should not be joked about. If some women in some contexts have enjoyed it, that doesn’t take away from the fact that some have been subjected to it against their will. I was frankly surprised that a group of women would joke about it on a public forum.

        I make no judgment about whatever consenting adults choose to do, whether one-on-one or in groups. As they say, “Whatever gets you through the night…”

        Anyway, if my meaning was unclear, and caused you offense, I apologize. I certainly did not mean to minimize the effect of rape in any way.

        Lastly, I’ll have to trust your word on what the Internet would yield with your last name, as I have no idea what it is….

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: About that word...

    Dear Minotaur,

    Thank you for explaining b.com's position on the b word.

    I'll add my 2 cents. You wrote:

    I wonder if you are using the word to refer to a one-on-one experience, but if so, then you are not reading the same Urban Dictionary that I am. It is a group practice, and is generally used to humiliate women. That is the comparison I was trying to make between [b.com won't let me use this] and gang-rape and stoning.

    It may be placed in that context, yes, but in the general Western social culture, it's a form of play, albeit one not to everyone's taste. Probably not to most people's taste. And let's not forget, there is a difference between consensual and non-consensual humiliation amongst partners. (I was using it in the consensual sense.)

    But OK, I won't try to use it again. It seems to leave a bad taste in the mouths of a number of people I like and respect here, and I don't want to offend them. I don't dig self-censorship, but, we still have to take care of each other, my personal geist.

    Thanks again for advancing the discussion.
    ----

    I was trying to find a pic of that unusual Ertruscan relief vase. What's unusual about it is that it depicts the Minotaur as a toddler, sitting in Pasiphae's lap. It's a very tender portrait, one not often seen among Minotaur art. But I couldn't find it, sorry. If I do, I'll link to it.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from BDCMod1. Show BDCMod1's posts

    Re: About that word...

    RDG -- Thanks for explaining your perspective. After listening to you and IDMWIT, I have a new appreciation for the other contexts for this practice.
       And if you find that vase, please do pass it along. The current avatar makes me feel like I'm not all there.


     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from BDCMod1. Show BDCMod1's posts

    Re: About that word...

    Dread -- Thanks for the bowling invitation. You all sound like you have a lot of fun at your get-togethers, and I'm envious. I'll have to give some thought to whether I can go bowling with people and still play the bad cop when necessary. I'm not convinced that I can leave that particular Labyrinth.
       Meanwhile, I loved the photo!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: About that word...

    RDG, I would like to see that vase as well.  Poor Pasiphae - one hopes the babytaur was born via C section.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: About that word...

    OK, I'll look for it tonight, DG. It's so beautiful.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Dread27. Show Dread27's posts

    Re: About that word...

    In Response to Re: About that word...:
    Dread -- Thanks for the bowling invitation. You all sound like you have a lot of fun at your get-togethers, and I'm envious. I'll have to give some thought to whether I can go bowling with people and still play the bad cop when necessary. I'm not convinced that I can leave that particular Labyrinth.    Meanwhile, I loved the photo!
    Posted by BDCMod1


    Woohoo!  I'm still ok with you being the bad cop when you need to be.  I actually think some of the women here would prefer it that way.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: About that word...

    Mmmm...... angry minotaur.....


    I promise I would still take you seriously as an authority figure, but if you feel that it would make your job more difficult to fraternize with the inmates, then I suppose I can just be friends with one of the Six Billion Other People on the planet instead.  I understand.

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from AlyssaJones. Show AlyssaJones's posts

    Re: About that word...

    In Response to Re: About that word...:
    This could be us.  Hanging out.  Going bowling.  I know you want to.
    Posted by Dread27

    I'd love to see the minotaur bowling with us... Minotaur will you be on my team??

     

Share