Dear LL Community:

   Thank you for being so kind about my "issue" earlier this week (if you don't know what it was, it was related to some comments I felt were racial stereotypes, and hurtful).  The comments and community response have been overwhelmingly supportive and sweet.  Thanks.

   That being said, I have been doing some deep thinking since Sally- left, and want to confess my own "sins" on LL: I have been a hypocrite.  Because in past, when there were issues on LL, I just ignored them and stuck to commenting on the LW's issues.  But when an issue mattered to *me*, I kinda freaked (even if people say it was in a nice way, I freaked). 

   To me, in my opinion, Sally- was just doing yesterday what I had done earlier: stand up for something she believed was right to stand up for.  But while thinking about it recently, I realized that these issues do tend to detract from the LW's letter, and that is what I also definitely did earlier this week. 

I took the LL blog as a soapbox for my own cause, in hopes that people would hear what I have to say.

But, you know, I think I was acting out of the hurt of the moment, and not seeing that I was actually hurting the feelings of other posters by singling them out, too.  That was majorly uncool of me.  And I apologize. 

   I think I truly hurt Sally's feelings (and others), and whether or not that had to do with her departure, I am sorry for that.  She wrote me some really nice messages, and I realized that sometimes those who make fun of things are not always "mean" or bad people.  They just didn't know it would be so hurtful.  In fact, I had always enjoyed something about Sally's wit (for some reason I especially loved her advice when she was Maria, from the Sound of Music). 

   In future, if I find something offensive, I hope to utilize the private message system and be more mindful of the well-being of the blog, and not just my own feelings.  Or, in this case, take the message OT.

I say this in all honesty, because I think Sally- deserves to be here as much as I do, and I hope she reappears.  I like the silliness on the blog sometimes.  I like the thoughtful advice.  And I like that you can make mistakes, and people won't hold it against you forever... I hope.  :) 

I still hold the same feelings on racism and stereotypes I had when I spoke earlier, but I do believe I handled it poorly for a public blog.  I am still learning about this blog thing.  So, once again, I do apologize for my public humiliation of certain people on LL.  I really made a mistake, and I hope to do better. 



Happy weekend to all.




annE

Thank you for the heartfelt words, Anne.  I am not Blog Queen or anything, but I want you to know you and I are straight with each other as far as I am concerned, for what that is worth.

Anne,

You don't have to apologize.  A blog is a funny thing and a place where a lot of people go to express thoughts or feelings they otherwise wouldn't say openly in part because of the anonymity (to a degree for some) and because it tends to be a forum with a built in audience for some to just vent a little now and then.

Don't take the blame for Sally leaving.  There are a lot of back-stories between her and some of us that you aren't aware of and sometimes those things get pushed to the surface and minor clashes ensue.  Sally will be back. They always come back.

I don't blame you for being upset about those comments and I would have said something myself if one of our fellow posters said something I felt was insensitive toward me.  But again, this is just a blog.  I remind myself of that and always know that no matter what, at the end of the day, it doesn't define me or affect me as a person.  You spoke up and subsequently recieved an apology.  I guess that's really all you can ask for here.

So please, stick around and enjoy the blog for what it is.  You know there are many wonderful and friendly people here.  Just remember who they are when you interact and if you're lucky like me, you'll make some very nice for-real friends here.

Aww, thanks diamondgirl and PowerCord,

   I am still trying to figure out blog stuff.  And Ms. Sally-'s disappearance made me sad, because it was like finding a new cyber-friend (which I don't have many of, because I do prefer real life friends...).  But PC is right, and if I ever did have the good fortune to attend a LL event, I would be able to put faces to online personalities... I'm not always this serious in person (actually kind of enjoyed the naughty talk on the blog today!), but have always been serious about words.  And I hold myself to high standards, so when I fail and say something hurtful (especially to someone I have no way of seeing in person to apologize to) I feel horrible.  So, even if it's the interwebz, it matters to me. 

   It's a nice community.  Somewhat dysfunctional, but I can't really name any community that is without its need for group therapy.  Or something.  :)

Best,

   annE

You're a good person annE.  Hope you aren't beating yourself up.  It's a really friendly bunch here, particularly when you meet folks in person.  Make sure you come to the next LL event.  :-)

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Oh, AnnE, you really take the burden of the world on your own shoulders, don't you?

   I said this before, and I'll repeat it: You have nothing to apologize for. In fact, I am grateful to you for your wonderful, heartfelt, and amazingly kind explanation of the hurt that these racist "jokes" cause. I was thinking just this morning that I would like to repeat your comments on the boston.com home page. Maybe it would help us keep a nicer tone in the comments all over the website.

   As a moderator, all I can do is block comments when they offend -- or block users when they won't stop offending. I can't even chastise or lecture people on the subject, because for some reason it is considered funny to flout authority and mock any attempts to promote sensitivity.

   So, I THANK YOU for what you said the other night.

   As to Sally. Trust me when I tell you: You had NOTHING whatsoever to do with Sally's departure. NOTHING. That's not yours to feel guilty about.

AnnE, you seem sweet and kind and I hope you stick around.  I too would love to meet the LL gang at an event.  I'm too much of a baby to go into Boston, though!  Hope to see you on LL again soon.

Personally, in my uninformed opinion, I believe Sally was faking it yesterday.  I wasn't around for much of it and I didn't see all the posts, and I certainly haven't spoke with Sally outside of the forums, as some other people have.  But having had a year to observe her, I think she was faking it.  Somebody said she was going to be taking a new job and was planning to leave anyway.  So instead of saying a bunch of goodbye's, I think she just blew it all up.  I think yesterday was just a splendid piece of performance art. 
I'm sure it's possible that she is a champion of the leprosy cause and she was actually hurt yesterday, but I prefer to believe she just had one over on us.  A big one. 

Oh, and annE - it's just a blog and we're all just people.  I admire your spirit, but you'd be better served not to take this so seriously. 

Seriously, annE - come out with us.  Don't be embarrassed.  Next time there is an event.  Once you meet a few people, everything on the blog comes into a different focus, and it is much easier to understand what in all hell people are talking about, and where they are coming from.

AnnE

all i can say is, you are one quality person, whom should have no reason to feel guilty about one single thing.
i have truly enjoyed your posts and hope that you stick around and continue to play and interact with our dysfunctional community, or family as i see it has become...
we have all types here that you'd find in all crazy families...

the nagging pubescent,  younger brother
the pushy, bossy, eogtisical, know-it-all older sister
the over protected mom
the clueless father
the closested loveable cousin
the hygenically challenged uncle
the nosey aunt

so, please stay and play

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"the pushy, bossy, eogtisical, know-it-all older sister"

HOLLA!!!!!!!!!!

 
the clueless father

_________________________________________

hey now, I'm not that bad!  ;-)

I'm the bratty, snobby, annoying little sister who has a crush on everyone's older brother...

pleased to meet ya, annE

Anne, you are an amazing person, and no apology is necessary.  It's understandable when something "hits home" and you find it out of character for the blog, you want to say so.  You did that, very eloquently.  You're very valued on the blog and these forums and I do hope you stay around.  :-)

In Response to Re: An Apology:


Can I be the goody two-shoes sister who secretly smokes and drinks and swears?

Seriously, though, Anne, I like your posts, and I think you are a thoughtful person.  I haven't read much of the blog for the earlier part of the week, so I don't know much of what happened yesterday.  You don't need to apologize to me :)

This was a serious vodka spiked Shirley Temple.

I <3 Anne.

Anne/w/E,

You know how I feel about you.  I thought you expressed yourself eloquently earlier this week, and did not cross the line from addressing your issues and being accusatory.  I never thought you accused Sally or anyone else of being racist, and personally, from what I saw, she appreciated that you told her.  If other people can speak up about their hot buttons, so can you. 

Aside from that, we're all responsible for ourselves here.  I agree with others who said you had NOTHING to do with Sally or anyone else's behavior this week.  And you're no more of a hypocrite than anyone else around here ... many people come on the blog on days when the letter hits a raw nerve and have posted numerous times to make a point that has to do with their hot button issue.  I don't think of ANY of those people as hypocrites!  The blog is a public forum, and Meredith has given the posting community a wide margin of freedom.  You're entitled to use it, just as others do. 

And finally, in thinking about it myself, McRob has come up with an interesting conclusion regarding Sally's departure.   Could have been perfect timing for her to blow up over her own issue when she knew she was going to clock out soon anyhow.  I like it. 

So, Anne/w/E, let's all just be friends, be yourself, gentle and kind, and everything will be fine.    

So wait...that leaves the smelly uncle.

Aww man....

What if you smell like beer, PC?  Does that make it better?

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I'd like to be the cool mom, kinda like Lorelai Gilmore.

Is there an opening for a fitness/ yoga / health nut who hides in the closet and eats junk food and bags of peanut M&Ms?  

you all crack me up

and im the dillusional blonde cougar(i mean wacko aunt) who is still trying to re-live my youth by chasing all the shiny pennies around.. HA