Behold the suctioning power of racisim

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    *sigh*

    So the other day I was catching up with a friend.  I wouldn't say we're close friends, but we've known each other for a few years now.  At some point in the conversation she revealed that she thinks there must be something inherently wrong with the entire Black race since they haven't done as well as, say, the Asians and the Civil War ended quite a while ago.  I tried explaining the effects of Jim Crow, ingrained racism, etc.  I even trie pointing out the Model Minority bit is something of a myth (yes, there are poor Asians!!  yes, there are even DUMB Asians!)

    Anyway, I kept my cool and tried to reason with her, but after a while I could tell that it wasn't going to work, in part because there's only so much US history you can recap in a few minutes, she's pretty stuck on her views, and I don't have all the relevant facts and figures to refute all of her points.

    It was pretty depressing for me.  And I still have that feeling if "ick" hanging over me.  It's maddening and depressing all at once when I encounter someone with these views, especially when it's from a friend.

    So, at the risk of attracting trolls and other forms of azzhattery, I decided to vent here because I needed to vent sooner rather than later.  And I wanted to ask all you LL folks how do you deal with discovering a friend or relative holds repugnant, ignorant views that ou find offensive?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from JeepersCripes. Show JeepersCripes's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    I guess the fact that there is an African-American president just went completely over her head? And African-American CEO's?
    Nothing against you 2centz, as you are my half-asian sister, but we havent had an Asian President :)

    I think its really a personal thing, on how you deal with people like that. There are some people that while I will disagree with them (thinking there shouldnt be gay marriage and all, etc...) I can keep them in my life and have healthy debates about the issues. However, there have been a couple that are so far out there in their views, that being "friends" doesnt even make sense to me and have cut them out of my life.

    For the record, I cut compulsive liars out of my life too ;)
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    If it is a person I can drop, I drop them.

    If it is a person whom I am forced to see at family parties, etc., I maintain a distant civility.  Smile, pass the plate of cookies, and do not discuss anything but the weather and how Jr. is doing in school.

    Sorry, you.  :(
     
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  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    In Response to Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim:
    [QUOTE]I guess the fact that there is an African-American president just went completely over her head?
    Posted by Jeepers-Cripes[/QUOTE]

    Oh, her stellar statement about Obama was that he's half-white, so that's what enabled him to become President.

    *bangs head on desk*

    I haven't made up my mind whether to drop her or not...  I'm still processing the ugliness of her statements.  Her racisim is rooted not in hate, but in sheer ignorance and lack of education on US history wrt race.  And I suspect she doesn't know any Blacks, or has had very, very limited contact with them.

    After I get over the initial "ick" reaction I think I might talk to her about how offensive I found her views, and go from there.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    In Response to Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim:
    [QUOTE]Instead of going down the historical route, you try to get your friend to see that people are individuals and it's kind of simplistic to view human beings as boxed into specific "races".
    Posted by WrongestWay[/QUOTE]

    That's my next strategy, point out to her that saying Blacks are stupid is just as ignorant as saying all women are stupid, or some such.  I went down the historical root because she started comparing Blacks to Asians, I wanted to point out to her that the experience of the two groups in the US is different.  Similar in that both have experienced discrimination, but different in the ways they were discriminated against, etc.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    The friend has never heard of the internment camps of WWII? How Japanese-Americans were rounded up, for no reason other than anti-Japanese racism?
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Kind-of-Irritating-Lady. Show Kind-of-Irritating-Lady's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    I try not to change peoples' views on things like this.  Often times, as hard as this is to believe, I won't let it go and I'll keep debating the points until it devolves into nasty sarcastic and quippy remarks.

    It's much less stress on me if I say something like, "really?  I don't think that's true at all," and then imagine calliope music in my head while they zone on about their opinion.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from backbaybabe. Show backbaybabe's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    WOW 2 Cent

    i think its best to talk to your friend. you may not get anywhere with her, but possibly stating her stance to you is actually offending you and you dont appreciate the tone of her thoughts.
    yes, we are entitled to our feelings nad opinions, but when people make blanket assumptions/judgments/generaliztions out of ignorance, its hard not to try and educate them on how their way of thinking and possibly see another point of view.
    but you do say she's not really a good friend at all, so i wouldnt really waste my breath on someone like her and just chalk up that friendship to what it was and dont contact her anymore.
    if after a period of time she's wondering where you've gone. just tell her you dont like her racist remarks and prefer NOT to be around it. plain and simple...

    good luck
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from McBostonrob. Show McBostonrob's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    I know politics bore you
    But I feel like a hypocrite talking to
    you and your racist friend. 
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from EnjoyEverySandwich. Show EnjoyEverySandwich's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    In Response to Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim : Oh, her stellar statement about Obama was that he's half-white, so that's what enabled him to become President. *bangs head on desk*
    Posted by TwoCentDonation[/QUOTE]


    Oh, give me a break!!

    She's gotta be the only person in America focusing on Obama being not black.

    I'd bang my head on the desk too, but I already have a headache.


     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    McBosRob - I was wondering when someone was going to quote that song....
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    In Response to Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim:
    [QUOTE]The friend has never heard of the internment camps of WWII? How Japanese-Americans were rounded up, for no reason other than anti-Japanese racism?
    Posted by reindeergirl[/QUOTE]

    Oh, but that would support her point, that Asians are inherently better since they were able to overcome the internment camps and succeed, while the Blacks are still stuck near the bottom of the totem pole.

    I think a big part of this is wholesale ignorance, and utterly carpy history education.  I doubt very much she has any inkling of the nature of the Jim Crow laws, or just how awful things were for Blacks in the South, for example.  I'm sure Chinese were beaten up in California, and Vincent Chin was beaten too death because some unemployed auto workers thought he was Japanese, but I don't get the sense that there were regular lynchings of Asians.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    In Response to Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim:
    [QUOTE]My mother, bless her heart, finally adjusted her racist views. Much later in her life, a black family moved in across the street. She called me, anguishing about what to do. She said, "If they were white, I'd go over with a plate of cookies and welcome them to the neighborhood. But they're black. I don't want to be rude and unfriendly, but they are black." My reply was something of the ilk that "Yea, everybody knows how rude and unfriendly all white people are, so don't worry about it."[/QUOTE]

    You are awesome :)

    [QUOTE]So, Two Cent, if you have any black friends, maybe have your other friend meet that person... it could open her eyes. 
    Posted by orchidkitty[/QUOTE]

    I have one black friend in the area, but that group of friends has very, very little in common with this friend.  In fact, she's a bit of an outlier in terms of my friends, even ignoring the recently revealed racism.  But maybe I can arrange some sort of event where she meets him.  Sadly, my other Black friends don't live around here (and I miss them :( ).
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Kind-of-Irritating-Lady. Show Kind-of-Irritating-Lady's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    *calliope music*
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from two-sheds. Show two-sheds's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    It is entirely possible that different genetic groups could on average be better or worse at some things then other groups.  However, there are many factors that go into someone’s abilities besides genetics.   As an intellectual exercise, this might be interesting to sort out, but there’s too much danger of people using any differences as a justification for discrimination.  We should just treat people, as people.  

    To me, racism is intellectual laziness.  We are all individual people, with our individual capabilities.  To think that someone might be smarter or dumber or more or less athletic just because they belong to a particular group is stupid.  It’s like saying all colors are green just because that’s the color in the middle of the rainbow. 

    This country (and perhaps the world as a whole) has a real problem with the economic and cultural separation of blacks and whites.   I don’t know what the solution is.  

    As far as your friend goes, I have a friend like that, too.  I generally just avoid the topic, but there was a little tension when a black person became part of our group of friends.  I let him know he was being an azz, and he, or at least his behavior, seem to straighten out.  I’m sure his internal opinions didn’t change. 

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from jdrotten. Show jdrotten's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    And I wanted to ask all you LL folks how do you deal with discovering a friend or relative holds repugnant, ignorant views that ou find offensive?
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    With my relatives, I make it clear that they are not allowed to spout off anything in front of my kids.  Otherwise, I ignore them.  It's sad, but it's hard to change some people that have racist tendencies.
     
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  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    Charming Sean,

    I don't deny that there are dumb blacks.  I was trying to point out to her that as a while, Blacks were unfairly held back, but their lack of success doesn't mean that they are inherently stupid and lazy, which was what she thought.  I even told her that there is a black middle class.

    In other words, if we didn't have Jim Crow and if we had stuck to the whole 40 acres and a mule, and if we didn't redline, then odds are a greater % of the Black population would be middle class.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    Ugh, I hate it when someone you thought was ok reveals a nasty streak of racism, or some other -ism.  

    Usually I will say something, and I won't always couch it in kindness, either.  Something along the lines of "Wow, I haven't heard anything that racist in a long time."  It is usually a combination of ignorance, laziness, and frequently fear.   If the person gets offended by me calling them out on their racist ideas, well, too darned bad.  

    I have some family members that have some pretty backward ideas, them unfortunately I can't drop, but I will call them on it, too.  Not so much that it becomes the focus of every Thanksgiving and Easter, but if you're going to bring up your stupid ideas YET AGAIN, I'm not going to be silent about it.  Even just a "here we go again" and walking away, is effective.  

    At work, however, is the one I find most tricky.  Fortunately, it doesn't come up that often anymore.  
     
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  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from captainfriday. Show captainfriday's posts

    Re: Behold the suctioning power of racisim

    Growing up, I was very close friends with a large irish family from Southie. The racism, bigotry, and blatant ignorance was disgusting.

    It was interesting, though, watching them change their tune when a majority of their youngest generation of girls all grew up and had half black babies.

     
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