Cheat or not to cheat

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  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from AlyssaJones. Show AlyssaJones's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    Interesting thread... sorry I'm coming in late.  

    My advice would be to try a C ring first, as the lovely Seebell suggested.   They are designed specifically for this purpose, and they are inexpensive.  Start with the oral to get the sails up, then jump on top of him.  if that doesn't work, I don't know what will.  

    So, if all else fails, then I would suggest discussing the topic of an open relationship.  Tell him you aren't getting what you need sexually, and although you love him very much, you've been thinking about getting your needs met elsewhere. 

    There's a book about open relationships that I've heard is helpful... Called The Ethical Slu-.  http://amzn.to/LnhRH5

    It may help you broach the subject with him. 

    I've never been in an open relationship, but it does work for a lot of couples, even though they were monogamous at the outset.  

     
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    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    Valid points Sean.  

    I agree with Supes though... he hasn't explored all possible options.  He could at the very least go to a Dr and get some Viagra.  Why isn't he willing to do that.  

    If Viagra doesn't work, and he's just broken, then they both need to discuss the options and figure out what works for them.  I think that holds true wether it is cancer, or menopause, or a limp wood.
     
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    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    Nobody mentioned getting the guy a cawk ring?
     
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    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    In Response to Re: Cheat or not to cheat:
    [QUOTE]Nobody mentioned getting the guy a cawk ring?
    Posted by The Archangel Michael[/QUOTE]


    I did on the previous page, too.  
     
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    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    In Response to Re: Cheat or not to cheat:
    [QUOTE]This guy doesn't have ED.  At some point, it either works, or it doesn't -- for this guy it's selectively working -- works during oral, doesn't work any other time.  Viagra won't help that.
    Posted by no country for old porkshops[/QUOTE]

    Well, it increases blood flow to that area, so it might.  

    Maybe what this guy needs is therapy.  

    ::card dropped::

     
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    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    Hey Guinevere... will you experiment with the ring and report back, please??
     
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    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    I would be devastated if he went and had sex with someone else. But the difference is, I am looking to seek that need elsewhere because he is the one incapable of performing. If he would talk to his doctor, if he could maintain his arousal, then this thread wouldn't exist. That said, if this were a reverse situation, and I couldn't perform for whatever reason, I think I would be ok his having that need met elsewhere.  We are human, we have needs and why should one suffer that missing aspect of what makes us human because the other can't or won't perform? I am sure there are saints out there, that would just accept that their partner couldn't perform and that is just the way life will be. I am honest enough with myself, that I can say without hesitation, I am certainly not that person. 

    I am not sure if I am at the point of this being a dealbreaker and walking away. I guess, I am just going to have to broach this subject of an open relationship with him and see what he thinks. 

     
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    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    In Response to Re: Cheat or not to cheat:
    [QUOTE]Taking a medicine that messes with blood pressure like that when you don't need it seems pretty dangerous.  But hey, what do I know, I'm not a doctor. I'm willing to bet my salary this dude is gay.
    Posted by no country for old porkshops[/QUOTE]

    You're absolutely right... its not something that should be taken lightly, but it is an option that this guy isn't even willing to entertain.  

    And if he were gay, wouldn't he be all about the b-saide? Just saying.  He wasn't even interested.  

     
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    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    listen, she has tried talking to him about it, let her feelings be known, offer support etc.  and he has been reluctant to seek help for one reason or another.  now she wants to broach the open relationship talk.  chances are that this is not going to be ok for him and things will end. 

    Guin, sorry to be so harsh but it is a longshot he will agree to this.  you will then have your answer.  you clearly don't want a relationship like this and you will be unhappy if nothing changes.  you could just stress to him one more time how important this is to you and that if nothing changes you will have to think about other options such as leaving something otherwise wonderful or looking outside of the relationship to fill that need but at least one way or the other it will be on the table once and for all.
     
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    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    Guin. Do you think you could actually cheat on him? Have you ever cheated on anyone before? I imagine its harder done than said.
     
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    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    In Response to Re: Cheat or not to cheat:
    [QUOTE]OR sounds like the guy wants 'REAR ENTRY'. I wonder if he's gay?
    Posted by Seebell[/QUOTE]
    Seebz, I wondered the same thing.
     
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    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    In Response to Re: Cheat or not to cheat:
    [QUOTE]Guin, I don't have an answer to your problem but I think you deserve an award for giving bjs several times a week for the past 5 years.  That's impressive.
    Posted by Fletch Lives[/QUOTE]
    I don't have an answer either, but I too am impressed you've been giving this guy bjs for 5 straight years. I don't hate 'em, but sometimes a girl just needs to get laid. I admire your stamina.  
     

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