Cheat or not to cheat

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    Actually, this is not the problem Viagra was made for - he can get and maintain an errection, physically speaking.  Viagra has serious side effects; please do not introduce more problems to this situation with a prescription that won't impact the problem.

    If it's not emotional and has 100% to do with tightness, try the ring or anything else designed to enhance intercourse in that manner.  Also, you can do keigal exercises to tighten those muscles and provide more stimulation.
     
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  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Inter-Planet. Show Inter-Planet's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    In Response to Re: Cheat or not to cheat:
    IP, the idea that a man is satisfied by a given quantity of (insert type of teh sex here) such that he would not masturbate is something only a woman would ever think.
    Posted by Moco Mauricio


    Gotcha - true the other way around, too :)

    One of my favorite questions on okcupid that not only do men answer but make public on their profile is "How often do you masturbate?".  Some men answer everyday, others a few times a week and then there are those that answer rarely or never and all I can think is either you are lying or have pathologically low testosterone.
     
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  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from aBoyandhisDawg. Show aBoyandhisDawg's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    Try to look into and weigh all your options.  Sometimes that stuff can be a combo of physical and psychological.  Maybe he has a lack of interest as well?  Talk to him about it.  Get into the specifics of what you both need and/or want.  There are always new ways of spicing things up!

    That or ask him if he is into cuckoldry 
     
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  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Harbormistress. Show Harbormistress's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    What would be the bigger issue to me in this relationship is that he is so incredibly selfish as to not go to the doctor about this for a possibly simple fix all for the sake of a little 'embarrassment.'  Thats absurd.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from The Guinevere. Show The Guinevere's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    Like I said, he could certainly be lying about the masturbating. I was just relating what he told me when we discussed his lack of maintaining.
    He is not a b-side kind of guy. I have suggested, he declined. 
    I am pretty sure he is interested, since most times he initiates.
    I am sure he is embarrassed, so I do not push him or really discuss it anymore. But yes, in some ways, I feel his lack of conversation with his doctor is a bit selfish.  I think an open relationship could work in this situation, but clearly that is a big taboo here and not sure anyone here has ever had a successful one? I guess I am just really at a loss as to what to do. He really is a wonderful man and we have a great relationship otherwise. But, I still have needs, that are just not being fulfilled.

    Thank you for all your responses!
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    I understand your dilemma, but I do hope you'll try everything to solve it other than by going outside the relationship for sex.  If this isn't resolved for the two of you to be sexually satisfied you'll break up.  You'll either break up without hating and resenting each other for your having tried to work it out without cheating to solve the problem, or you'll break up after you both resent each other so much it resembles hatred for your having tried to solve your problem by going outside the relationship for sex.

    GL!
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from justcat. Show justcat's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    This problem is actually fairly common in men of a certain age.  If he won't discuss with his doctor, then you may think about moving on.  The problem will not go away by itself, but you can.  I know it's hard (pun intended), but try dating someone younger.
     
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  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from jdrotten. Show jdrotten's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    It really needs to start with his doctor.  That's really all there is too it.  Who knows if he needs viagra or if he has undiagnosed heart disease or you need to start wearing a bunny suit.  He sounds unwilling and I'm sorry to hear that.  That's not fair to you or him.  It is his health we are also talking about here.

    Hope he rises to the occasion and gets to the doctor.  ;-)
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from GoodGollyMissHolly. Show GoodGollyMissHolly's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    In Response to Re: Cheat or not to cheat:
    He needs to see a doctor if he wishes to get over this. There are toys that help men also. One was mentioned earlier. This is the kind of problem that Viagra was made for. It isn't a lack of interest it is the inability to sustain an election (can't put the "r" in that word) for a suitable period. Going to the doctor is embarassing so he needs to understand that he either will overcome that embarassement or he will lose you. That is the choice he needs to see. He has been putting this off for awhile. Don't let him put it off any longer. It is shame to see this happening in today's day and age when there are solutions readily available. Let him know that you will not think him less of a man because he uses the blue pill but rather more of a man because he is willing to do what it takes to satisfy you.  
    Posted by BzznAlong


    very well said bzorn
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from GoodGollyMissHolly. Show GoodGollyMissHolly's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    In Response to Re: Cheat or not to cheat:
    Like I said, he could certainly be lying about the masturbating. I was just relating what he told me when we discussed his lack of maintaining. He is not a b-side kind of guy. I have suggested, he declined.  I am pretty sure he is interested, since most times he initiates. I am sure he is embarrassed, so I do not push him or really discuss it anymore. But yes, in some ways, I feel his lack of conversation with his doctor is a bit selfish.  I think an open relationship could work in this situation, but clearly that is a big taboo here and not sure anyone here has ever had a successful one? I guess I am just really at a loss as to what to do. He really is a wonderful man and we have a great relationship otherwise. But, I still have needs, that are just not being fulfilled. Thank you for all your responses!
    Posted by The Guinevere



    Guinevere, there is nothing wrong with an open relationship as long as it is just that.  If you openly discuss this with your partner and he agrees to this arrangement then go for it.  Note that these relationships also have their pros and cons too and don't always work out in everyone's favor either.  That said, what you are suggesting is having an affair or cheating on the guy which is not an open relationship.  Cheating is what most people here have an objection with.  Whatever you decide to do, just be fair to the guy and be honest.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    Even if he agrees that her having sex with someone to escape a sexual problem between the two of them is OK it's not going to work regardless of how honest she is about it.

    ETA:  I fixed a grammatical problem.  Oops.  And, I wanted to add that if they agree that her going outside the relationship for sex will work for them all they are doing is giving resentment a foothold and putting off the eventual breakup (which will be worse then then it would be now).
     
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  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from GoodGollyMissHolly. Show GoodGollyMissHolly's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    i don't exactly agree with it either but i always think being honest is better than cheating.  and surprisingly enough, some people do have successful open relationships, it's not that unheard of and i'm sure more people than we think are involved in this kind of situation.  Guinevere first talked about cheating then talked about the possibility of an open relationship which is clearly 2 different things.
     
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  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    If any man is having a sexual problem and his DO solves it by having sex with someone else that's universally a recipe for resentment.  To deny that does a disservice to the OP no matter how much more PC it is to say, "whatever works, for YOU, go for it."
     
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  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: Cheat or not to cheat

    Ahhhhh, rationalized stupidity.......there is never ANY reason to cheat on your S/O - PERIOD!

    Sprout a backbone, lay it on the line and decide if you continue your relationship.

    If your dating you can walk, if your married you can divorce and move on to another. TALK, TALK, TALK!

    CHEATING will lead to the end of the relationship anyway, show some respect to your S/O and TALK! BEFORE you cheat - You owe him that..................Yell
     
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