Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from TheRealJBar. Show TheRealJBar's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    Good idea for this thread CHC.  And good advice.

    I would add that unless your date comes across as really creepy, to see a new person on at least two dates (or three) before you pull the plug. First impressions do matter, but they can be misleading.   What may seem like bumbling idiocy on a first date could just be a shy, endearing guy with a case of the jitters. 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    Thanks, I need this.  ♥
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    I did all that, CHC, and my semi-last date was with JBar-knows-who-it-was. I was dressed to kill, I felt great, it was on "my turf" (so I felt really comfortable). The date (which he refused to call a date) lasted, oh, 46 minutes. (Not 45, 46.) I thought maybe it was the great age difference, but looking back, probably not. Only JBar and the man himself know if I was being creepy that rainy afternoon.

    All this time later - pathetic, huh? In the meantime, the man I dated all 2008-late 2009 did not have the courtesy to even drop an email and say he had married in September. I guarantee you, it was not so much the woman he wanted, but the charming villa she owned/resided in on Cape Ann. All he talked about was that house, and getting out of Suffolk County.

    All was not lost on the April date (which he says wasn't a date). I hung around the place after he left, had a nice salad and a nice coffee, and explored some of the rooms before I had to head home.

    I'd best get to work on that poundage, because right now that's the only area that I feel needs improving. Although I myself do like a roly-poly man. In boxers and a freshly-laundered t-shirt. But with exceptions, men don't like overweight women. A woman can be the most hopeless case in the world, but if she's svelte, he doesn't care. (Yes, cynical me.)

    I flirt on LL, but I hope the LL men know I'm not chasing them. It's all in friendly affection, no more, no less. I admire their writings and their cheerful spirits.The ones who give constructive opinions are, like the women, the best.

    Merry Christmas. DD just left to spend the rest of the day with her BFF, so I am going to try to be productive and get some work done. Ha! Not really!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    And really, it shouldn't be such a dry season for me, as I have eclectic tastes. Heck, I even crush on the political poster here, Xenophonic, and he's about as far from my geist as can be. :) (For those who haven't seen his posts, he was featured along with Kurt Larsen and our own Yashimi in the Magazine article on Globe commenters, last summer.)

    Although, for DD's sake, I don't think I'd want a smoker in the house.

     
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  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    Wow, that's a great way to think, CHC! Very positive.

    Just a shame that he was oh, soooooooo cute!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from justcat. Show justcat's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    Since I got the dog, I don't even give dating a second thought (well not much of one anyway)...
     
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  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    Our condo doesn't allow dogs larger than 20 1bs.

    :(

    My older cat is larger than that.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Inter-Planet. Show Inter-Planet's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    I am just seeing this thread now.  I never could have imagined how difficult dating could be until I am now experiencing it.  Many people tell me it is a "numbers game" but I really don't enjoy the first date experience enough to do it that often.  Do the first dates get easier over time??
     
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  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    For me the second date was difficult if I wasn't feeling the spark.  I would get all anxious and worried and annoyed that I was spending time with someone I wasn't into, and it was especially awkward when I could tell they were into me.

    However, what took the pressure off the first date was to think of it as simply meeting someone.  Not a future husband, not the love of my life, just some dude at a coffee house.

    The hard part I had was the exit plan.  I finally got the hang of it with the guy I met before Mr. Cent.  I practiced the speech in my head and said, "You're a very nice guy, but I'm simply not feeling the spark."  Sadly, I had to suffer through an annoying second date with him.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from jdrotten. Show jdrotten's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    I'm to new at the dating game to offer any worthwhile advise.  I'm muddling through it now.  Great topic, love all the advise.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from heavyblaster. Show heavyblaster's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    In Response to Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while:
    [QUOTE]I did all that, CHC, and my semi-last date was with JBar-knows-who-it-was. I was dressed to kill, I felt great, it was on "my turf" (so I felt really comfortable). The date (which he refused to call a date) lasted, oh, 46 minutes. (Not 45, 46.) I thought maybe it was the great age difference, but looking back, probably not. Only JBar and the man himself know if I was being creepy that rainy afternoon. All this time later - pathetic, huh? In the meantime, the man I dated all 2008-late 2009 did not have the courtesy to even drop an email and say he had married in September. I guarantee you, it was not so much the woman he wanted, but the charming villa she owned/resided in on Cape Ann. All he talked about was that house, and getting out of Suffolk County. All was not lost on the April date (which he says wasn't a date). I hung around the place after he left, had a nice salad and a nice coffee, and explored some of the rooms before I had to head home. I'd best get to work on that poundage, because right now that's the only area that I feel needs improving. Although I myself do like a roly-poly man. In boxers and a freshly-laundered t-shirt. But with exceptions, men don't like overweight women. A woman can be the most hopeless case in the world, but if she's svelte, he doesn't care. (Yes, cynical me.) I flirt on LL, but I hope the LL men know I'm not chasing them. It's all in friendly affection, no more, no less. I admire their writings and their cheerful spirits.The ones who give constructive opinions are, like the women, the best. Merry Christmas. DD just left to spend the rest of the day with her BFF, so I am going to try to be productive and get some work done. Ha! Not really!
    Posted by reindeergirl[/QUOTE]

    I can tell you're pulling a U-Haul full of baggage through life, and that you're tired of driving to nowhere... why not pull over and let Jesus take the wheel?
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kittensmittons. Show kittensmittons's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    In Response to Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while : I can tell you're pulling a U-Haul full of baggage through life, and that you're tired of driving to nowhere... why not pull over and let Jesus take the wheel?
    Posted by heavyblaster[/QUOTE]
    Which one is Jesus?
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from dkchoc. Show dkchoc's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    What I found very useful was that I got on an online dating website BEFORE I was ready to date.  It had been so long since I dated that I just wasn't sure how it all worked.  But strangely, knowing that I wasn't ready to date yet took some of the pressure off me because I expected not to meet my soulmate. 

    And I had a lot of fun writing my profiles which forced me to think about what I liked about myself, and not sit around thinking about all the horrible things my ex had said to me on his way out, which pretty much destroyed my self-esteem.

    It also helped that the "dates" weren't really dates.  It was more like a job interview.  In all cases, we met at Starbucks and each of us paid for our own drinks.

    I don't even drink coffee, but it's convenient because all Starbucks stores are more or less the same, you can stay as long or as short a time as you want, and you just find one drink you can tolerate and buy that one drink every time.  So even though the guys changed, there was some stability in the environment which helped make a nervous situation a little less nervous.

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from naturalginger. Show naturalginger's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    In Response to Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while : I can tell you're pulling a U-Haul full of baggage through life, and that you're tired of driving to nowhere... why not pull over and let Jesus take the wheel?
    Posted by heavyblaster[/QUOTE]

    I like my baggage. It's all matching, uniquely patterned so no one at baggage claim takes it for their own, and keeps everything safely organized.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from MAMK2. Show MAMK2's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    Loved everyone's advice....I think dating is like a job interview and I just keep wondering when the permanent job will be offered...LOL

    Happy New Year Everyone!! 
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from GdCatch. Show GdCatch's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    Long-time LL Reader, first time poster!  (I'm going to try and start providing LL feedback in 2011.)

    About JBar's post here, though:  I agree.  Not only might the person be shy - but:  he/she could have had a bad day at work; he/she might be anxious about the date, etc.  I know eHarmony has a question, regarding chemistry.  One response is "need to feel an immediate 'click.'  But it seems most members are willing to have a few dates - and see if a connection develops.  (Which is my eH response, by the way!)

    Hopefully 2011 will be a good year, relationship-wise!


    In Response to Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while:
    [QUOTE]Good idea for this thread CHC.  And good advice. I would add that unless your date comes across as really creepy, to see a new person on at least two dates (or three) before you pull the plug. First impressions do matter, but they can be misleading.   What may seem like bumbling idiocy on a first date could just be a shy, endearing guy with a case of the jitters. 
    Posted by TheRealJBar[/QUOTE]
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from TheRealJBar. Show TheRealJBar's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    Nice to meet you Gd_Catch.  I'm glad your NY resolution is to join the LL insanity (inanity?)
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from heavyblaster. Show heavyblaster's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    In Response to Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while:
    [QUOTE]Long-time LL Reader, first time poster!  (I'm going to try and start providing LL feedback in 2011.) About JBar's post here, though:  I agree.  Not only might the person be shy - but:  he/she could have had a bad day at work; he/she might be anxious about the date, etc.  I know eHarmony has a question, regarding chemistry.  One response is "need to feel an immediate 'click.'  But it seems most members are willing to have a few dates - and see if a connection develops.  (Which is my eH response, by the way!) Hopefully 2011 will be a good year, relationship-wise! In Response to Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while :
    Posted by Gd_Catch[/QUOTE]

    Gd_Catch, a loving relationship with our Lord and Savior is the foundation upon which a fulfilling emotional and physical relationship can be built. After marriage, of course. Don't be a Jezebel.  Unmarried genitals are the devil's playground.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from jdrotten. Show jdrotten's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    In Response to Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while:
    [QUOTE]Long-time LL Reader, first time poster!  (I'm going to try and start providing LL feedback in 2011.) About JBar's post here, though:  I agree.  Not only might the person be shy - but:  he/she could have had a bad day at work; he/she might be anxious about the date, etc.  I know eHarmony has a question, regarding chemistry.  One response is "need to feel an immediate 'click.'  But it seems most members are willing to have a few dates - and see if a connection develops.  (Which is my eH response, by the way!) Hopefully 2011 will be a good year, relationship-wise! In Response to Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while :
    Posted by Gd_Catch[/QUOTE]
    Hey Gd....great first post....jump into the fray...the more points of view the better here...don't be shy
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from justcat. Show justcat's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    I've had so many bad first dates, I should write a column...  Oh wait, Bridget Jones' diary is already taken...

    BTW, I'm not ready to give up the wheel... but thanks for the advice.
     
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  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from phsmith8. Show phsmith8's posts

    Re: Dating Tips for those that have been out of the dating pool for a while

    planned first dates never work, it's the accidental ones that end up lasting. in my "experience," that is.
     
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