Do you have a moment?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kittensmittons. Show kittensmittons's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    Thank you HB. I have a knack for what's important. When I was a kid my twin  brother and I used to play in the fallout shelter my dad had built in 1983 because he was afraid the nuclear power plant reactor down the river was going to meltdown and leak radioactive fluid into our streets. He invented a water purifying system that used the sun, a Frisbee, six feet of plastic wrap and a rubber band to make battery acid safe for drinking, except my brother thought it would be more fun if we used the Frisbee and the rubber band as a sling shot to harass the neighborhood cats. That was the year he pinged me in the head with a rock and I got a goose egg THIS big on my forehead. I wanted to build a time machine and use it to go into the future so I could see whether or not the nuclear power plant had actually leaked and I was dying of cancer or possible fatty liver disease, but I was ten minutes younger and never got anything to go my way. One day, when we were 13, a found a girly magazine in a secret hiding place under the stairs to the shelter along with a pack of Marlboro Reds and a bottle of crème de menthe, so we got drunk, smoked and learned all about Vargas girls and the different types of nipples Vargas was into. Then we threw up. Now I can't eat grasshopper pie without  thinking of a nuclear meltdown, Regan-era economics, concussions, naked women and then throwing up. I have this all in home video if you're interested, but I don't have any telecine, so you'd have to unroll the film and blink your eyes very rapidly in order to see it. It's not that interesting anyways.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    KitsNMits - What's telecine?  And is your dad MacGyver's long lost brother?
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from ambergirl. Show ambergirl's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    Love those quotes and I seen George Carlin many years ago in person.  Funniest commediene ever.  I too have a favorite : )  "Going to church does not make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car"

    In Response to Re: Do you have a moment?:
    [QUOTE]Interesting indeed...I always liked what George Carlin said about religion:  It's like putting lifts in your shoes - if they help you walk better, fine, but don't make me wear your shoes if I don't want to, and I don't think we should be nailing lifts onto the natives' feet. And just by-the-bye, sir, exactly who do you think you are to judge *my* life as being somehow "empty" or meaningless?  Or anyone else's, for that matter?  And because we spend a lot of time posting messages here?  Oh, please.  People like you are one of the reasons I left Christianity behind many years ago.  Go peddle your papers somewhere else. "Jesus was way cool, it's the people he's got working for him that I have a problem with." --King Missile
    Posted by redwolf68[/QUOTE]
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kittensmittons. Show kittensmittons's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    Telecine is what they use to transfer Super 88 to video. When I was fifteen, on a whim, my mother threw on her waders and enter the basement to look for all the home movies we made in the 1970s. She had to put on waders because we'd had a flood and for some inexplicable reason, the flood never receded, so we just lived with two feet of water in our basement until 1989, when the Berlin Wall came down and we all moved back to Germany. Anyways, mom found the all the film canisters of Super 88 home movies and she even found the projector, but it was rusty and unusable, which was a real shame because there are scenes of my brother giving me noogies and wedgies, and I'd really like to use that as evidence that I was abused as a child, at least evidence for my therapist who is thinks I make all this stuff up. I'm not. All fiction is based on some personal experience, don't you think. So anyway, long story short, my mom arranged to get all the movies transferred to BetaMax, which was rather ineffective since we didn't own a VCR either. But that Christmas my father dressed up as Santa Claus, drove me, my brother, my mother and our dog Max to the big department store where we got our picture taken at one of those special photobooths where you put a quarter in and then get three chances to make funny faces. I love Christmas. But I was still abused as a child and the VCR doesn't make up for it, I tell you.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    Thanks, Kits.  So does thatmean your family had an indoor swimming pool in the basement?  And when you went back to Germany did you bring tons of Levi's as presents for your extended family?  Or, since the wall came down, were the Levi's worth less on the black market?
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kittensmittons. Show kittensmittons's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    You're welcome TwoCent. My mom joked it was like a swimming pool because she was an eternal optimist. When I used to see news coverage of the Iran Hostage Crisis, I used to get visibly upset, but she was really good at calming my fears by telling me, "At least it's not YOUR father!" which was true, but that used to set my dad off and he'd get mad at her for letting me watch the news, which was pretty traumatic for a nine year old. No, we didn't bring Levi's back to Germany because the reason my father moved us all back to Germany was because he in charge of setting up the first ever bulk discount chain store, a Berlin Wal-mart. So we had plenty of denim and my father didn't understand the difference between Toughskins (not cool) and Levis (ubercool). The only thing I got to bring with me back to Germany was a my recipe for German crepes which I would make and serve for kleine Mahlzeit on Sunday mornings. We only lived in Germany until 1990, and then we moved to Poland to start another bulk discount chain store called the Holo-Costco. It failed too, obviously.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    OMG Laughing  Awesomeness!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from jkjband. Show jkjband's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    I'm sorry I must be in the wrong room,  I came in here for abuse, 



    HeavyB your letting me down.  I really in the mood to repent.

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Finlandia. Show Finlandia's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    In Response to Re: Do you have a moment?:
    [QUOTE]Look how much power Jesus has, even on a chat board! the discussion about Him kept you all on topic (at least most of you) for two pages! Normally, you'd all be chattering about fornication and liquor by post #3--if you lasted that long. I'm so proud of you for discussing what's important, instead of the usual ADHD crap here!
    Posted by heavyblaster[/QUOTE]


    xttwo?
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from AlyssaJones. Show AlyssaJones's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    In Response to Re: Do you have a moment?:
    [QUOTE]Look how much power Jesus has, even on a chat board! the discussion about Him kept you all on topic (at least most of you) for two pages! Normally, you'd all be chattering about fornication and liquor by post #3--if you lasted that long. I'm so proud of you for discussing what's important, instead of the usual ADHD crap here!
    Posted by heavyblaster[/QUOTE]

    Did you say liquor??  I'm on my third gimlet as I write this.  And I think I've found jeebus.

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from McBostonrob. Show McBostonrob's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    KM, I had no idea you were holding out on this trasuretrove.  This IS Act I of our musical!  Unless you want to get all non-linear, in which case we can weave the episodic tragedies of your childhood into our present day GLEE-bondage storyline to create some bizarre manuscript that only the Germans of your youth could pretend to appreciate.  In either case, it's become quite clear that our score should be composed exclusively for the harp and the theremin.  Jesus wouldn't understand it, but he'd pass the wine, recline, and enjoy it.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    It's not fornication; I am married.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from jkjband. Show jkjband's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    In Response to Re: Do you have a moment?:
    [QUOTE]It's not fornication; I am married.
    Posted by diamondgirl[/QUOTE]

    Perhaps you add something to the mix, you know spice it up, it could become fornication again.  Just a thoughtLaughing
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from JeepersCripes. Show JeepersCripes's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    In Response to Re: Do you have a moment?:
    [QUOTE]Look how much power Jesus has, even on a chat board! the discussion about Him kept you all on topic (at least most of you) for two pages! Normally, you'd all be chattering about fornication and liquor by post #3--if you lasted that long. I'm so proud of you for discussing what's important, instead of the usual ADHD crap here!
    Posted by heavyblaster[/QUOTE]


    I believe I did discuss fornication...in post 3 or well 2 if nix your original post.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from kittensmittons. Show kittensmittons's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    In Response to Re: Do you have a moment?:
    [QUOTE]KM, I had no idea you were holding out on this trasuretrove.  This IS Act I of our musical!  Unless you want to get all non-linear, in which case we can weave the episodic tragedies of your childhood into our present day GLEE-bondage storyline to create some bizarre manuscript that only the Germans of your youth could pretend to appreciate.  In either case, it's become quite clear that our score should be composed exclusively for the harp and the theremin.  Jesus wouldn't understand it, but he'd pass the wine, recline, and enjoy it.
    Posted by McBostonrob[/QUOTE]

    Can Act 2 be a reenactment of an early Perry Mason episode?

    We can let the LL clique decide:

    The Case of the Black-eyed Blonde?
    or the Case of the Borrowed Brunette?
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    I vote for Borrowed Brunette, but only if the plot twist vindicates her and shows her to be a good, kind person who got framed... maybe by an evil blak-eyed blonde.

    TEAM BRUNETTE!!
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kittensmittons. Show kittensmittons's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    Hmph. I'm partial to pretty blondes.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Do you have a moment?

    Ok, then, Kits, you can have a later episode in which the evil blonde redeems herself.  While showing redemption process, you can give the viewers flashbacks of her previous life that show why she became evil in the first place - how her family lived in a sad sack house with a "pool" in the basement, causing her to be mercilessly teased by classmates.  This resulted in her exacting an elaborate plan for revenge.  She got plastic surgery and became a femme fatale.  She then assumed a new identity and systemically re-acquainted herself with her former tormentors.  After gaining their trust, she killed them.  Once her revenge was complete, however, she didn't feel the triumphant happiness she expected.  Instead, she felt guilt and remorse for what she had, which set her on a path of self-loathing and destruction.

    Not sure what her path to redemption would be, though.  Maybe she kills rabid squirrels that are terrorizing the little old lady that lives across the street who turns out to be a retired nun who forgives her for all her past transgressions.

    And the blonde could get her own spin off series in which she tries to clean up the streets of LA and in doing so she takes on a corrupt law firm.
     
Sections
Shortcuts

Share