Elder care support

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  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from backbaybabe. Show backbaybabe's posts

    Re: Elder care support

    Good Morning CHC

    my brother and i have started to go through the handling of aging parents. My dad is 90, mom is 76. we've have been extremely fortunate up until the past year and a half. now we've been dealing with all sorts of issues.

    we tackle them one day, one issue at a time.

    I was jsut telling my friends over the weekend, that how life has changed of late. meaning, just what you're asking...

    i remember when we would all complain about how are parents would be nosey, or this ir that. and as friends, we'd all share stories of our parents being "parents"
    But now i see the shift to talk, seek advice, share stories with my friends on how we are all dealing with helping aging parents...

    CHC, if i can offer any help, guidance or just to talk, let me know... its a hard thing to deal with aging parents,  esp when you're close with them as i am. but to share your experience with others can hopefully ease some of the apprehension/tension/confusion/uncertainty.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Elder care support

    When I was taking care of my mom, who had Alzheimers, I felt the same as you do, CHP.  I didn't have the mental energy to go to a support group of "strangers" and I relied heavily on my awesome group of girlfriends who were 100% there for me.

    In hindsight, I think I would have benefited from going to the support group, too. 
    In addition to knowing exactly what I was going through, they also have information on resources that I might not have known about, etc.  It probably would have helped reduce my stress and I think my friends would have appreciated it.

    Ask your BFF to go with you to the first meeting to check it out. 

    That said, I'd be happy to attend whatever group you want to put together - post the info here, though, since I'm a Facebook Atheist.

    Big hugs to you!!!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Elder care support

    There is a lot of info out there and resources available, but they can be hard to find.  There's also a lot of research out there showing how stressful caregiving can be, so much so that the patient, on occasion, can outlast the caregiver. 

    Places to look for resources are -
    state, county, and local governments
    local area Councils on Aging
    specific disease websites (Cancer, MS, Alzheimers, etc)
    area home care corporations (West Suburban, Greater Boston, etc)
    Visiting Nurse Associations
    Adult Day care services
    Community Mental Health Centers
    Public Health Departments (some are very proactive)
    Veterans Services Departments
    Elder Protection agencies
    Your own employers HR offices
    There are also tons of private care planners out there - some are very good, some are shysters, all cost $$


     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from jdrotten. Show jdrotten's posts

    Re: Elder care support

    Count me in!  I've been losing my Mom to dementia for a couple years now.  She broke her back 2 months ago and I have been dealing with all sorts of crazy family issues ever since.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from backbaybabe. Show backbaybabe's posts

    Re: Elder care support

    ohhh JD, im sooo sorry to hear about your mom!!! hope she's in no pain...

    big hugs to you!!!!!!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from MoVa. Show MoVa's posts

    Re: Elder care support

    Anything I may have to add is only retrospective now, but I would be happy to contribute in any way I can.

    jd, I am so very sorry. That is just awful.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from jdrotten. Show jdrotten's posts

    Re: Elder care support

    Thx BBB.  Thankfully she's not in pain anymore, just confused.  Figuring out how to care for her has really torn my family apart.

    My mom had always been one of my best friends too.

    I hope your parents are at least pain free.  {{hugs}}
     
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  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from ygren. Show ygren's posts

    Re: Elder care support

    It's tough to be in the middle. And it's tough to have distance to contend with.

    The support groups through agencies, hospitals, etc. sent my stress-levels into the stratosphere.

    People you know are so much better - especially those who understand that you don't want someone to fix you, just understand and provide non-directive suggestions.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Elder care support

    CHC,

    I cared for my elderly mother basically on my own, until I got a 4/hr/day Golden Care CNA in to help. A few years later, it was assisted living, then nursing home time (Alzheimer's). Mum is gone, but I'd be happy to joing your group and comment on my own experiences. I don't believe there's one right way to care for an elderly, so I feel your group would be helpful to those going through or who have gone through it.

    I did like the family support group at Mum's nursing home, but it wasn't that active, and only two or three people, out of the families of 90 residents, were regulars.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from -callie. Show -callie's posts

    Re: Elder care support

    Just had a meeting with some of my siblings Friday night to open the dialog about my dad's "slide".  He has 2 older siblings currently living with Alzheimer's - and has begun to exhibit some behaviors which are concerning.

    Unfortunately, it looks like having everyone on the same page is going to be one of the challenges.  The cracks have already begun to show.

    So please count me in too.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Elder care support

    Unfortunately, it looks like having everyone on the same page is going to be one of the challenges.  The cracks have already begun to show.
    ----

    I love my brother, but he was useless with caregiving. It fell to me and Mum's clinical team - fortunately we were on the same page. Some may find, as I did, that being family does not mean being competent to address elder care issues.
     
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  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from MrCorvin. Show MrCorvin's posts

    Re: Elder care support

    While I do not have an elder care issue, I wouldn't mind helping out. I talk to elders everyday (as I work for a Medicare plan), and I've learned a lot that I might be able to help point people in the right direction.
     
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