Facebook Nonsense

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  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ThatJneenGrrl. Show ThatJneenGrrl's posts

    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    RDG, let me tell you a story.

    This past winter, I met a guy on OKC.  Same age as me give or take 3 years.  Same industry.  Wonderfully communicative writer.  He was the spitting image of my high school crush.  I fell HARD before I even met the guy.  We txted and emailed throughout the day every day for like two or three weeks.  He would call me and we would talk at bedtime.  I pulled the trigger and asked him to meet me for a drink (yeah, I'm pushy like that).  He agreed and we picked a place halfway between us (distance was a bit of an issue).

    The day of, I txted to confirm before I hopped in the car...and nothing.  No reply.  I had invested so much emotional energy into this mirage that I was pretty much inconsolable all day.

    Hear from him about 2 days later.  Some story about misplacing his blackberry.  We picked up again.  Made plans for the following Tuesday.  Had THE most fun date.  The conversation percolated and bubbled and flowed.  Things progressed probably way quicker than they should have (gotta be me!) .  I drove home absolutely over the moon.

    I was even more excited when I heard from him the next day.  And the day after that.  We made plans to spend Christmas Night together.  Then poof.  Gone.  Never heard abnother word.

    I had convinced myself that THIS was the guy.  THIS ONE.  Built him up in my head from really what amounted to a few thousand words of txt, a handful of phone calls, and a single date.

    I didn't know the man at all, really.

    I mourned the person I thought he was, though.  I didn't date anyone else for weeks (an eternity for me, considering I only had a single date with the guy)

    I think I crushed the thing by being far more into him than he was into me.

    I think things work best when both partners in the relationship come at the thing from the same "level", so to speak.  No weird worship/unworthiness tip to the scale.

    I think your best bet is to throw this one back for now and focus on other things.  The ones who are truly interested will come to YOU.  

    Oh, and I spent Christmas Night with my favorite fun friend and got to fall asleep in his arms, so it was all good. :)
     
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    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    If you txtspeak like an idiot in single sentences, yes.

    But I have a very helpful friend who I almost exclusively speak to via email and txt, and I would very much miss his insight if he were gone. 
     
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    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    "Oh, you crazy Phoenicians, with your cuneiform!  You're ruining real communication!!"
     
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    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    J9,

    I'm really, really sorry that happened to you. Especially this:

    "I was even more excited when I heard from him the next day. And the day after that. We made plans to spend Christmas Night together. Then poof. Gone. Never heard abnother word."

    It's hard when they disappear, without a word. And then with me, I tend to worry that they were (God forbid) in a car accident or something. How cruel some people can be.

    In the case of "my" married guy, he did that to me on New Year's Eve 2010. He was going to make dinner for the fawn and me. We waited, and waited. (He wasn't married then.) I knew he was alive because he had the "low riders" Website going (training men how to train their penii and balls to make themselves look larger in their jeans). When next he surfaced, he was married. I don't even think he loved the woman - for a long time, he'd been enamored of her Rockport home, and I think he married the house, not her. Less than a year later, he decides she's too vanilla for him.

    I wasn't so much angry that he stood me up (although I feel I had cause to be), but that the fawn was so looking forward to seeing him again. He betrayed her. Betray my daughter, and that's betraying me.

    But usually, I worry. I didn't have to that time, because of his Website, and because, if I really wanted to know what happened to him (he followed his pen1s to Rockport that day instead), I could contact his mother or brother, who live in Revere.

    Did you worry about him, J9?

    And how awful, for it to happen during the holidays. My heart to you.

    But you are right, I think. The investment is mine. It's true, as I learned, that he was wrapping up a project. But it's also true that I crush hard.

    Live and learn. Thank you for sharing your story.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    I'm ambivalent about texting. /Luddite.

    Also, my eyes are sh*te, so it's hard for me to read the thing.
     
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    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    I do have a pet peeve about people who gop silent while texting. Like, if they have to pee, or turn off the stove, or take a call, can't they say "TTYL?"
     
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    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    **go
     
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    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    I agree... I always try to explain why I didn't respond/ say goodbye

    A lot of people don't though. And I have grown used to that.

    Yes, RDG...for a few hours, I  did have those awful "accident" thoughts.  But I had been "poofed" on by a much more serious-seeming man in late summer, so I saw the writing on the wall quite quickly.

    I just so wanted to click my heels and believe with that one.

    He probably would have turned out to be an arrogant azz :)

    It is hard because when I was serial dating, I did everything in my power to keep that "wall" up, but that guy...I was totally doofy for him from day one.  The whole "resembled my high school crush" thing.  I think that was what sent me into an emotional, beyond-reality tailspin.

    It never would have been a truly balanced relationship.  We are both better off.

    Live and learn :) 
     
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  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    "that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!"
     
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    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    I prefer texting with people who use real words.

    My geek friends appreciate txts containing words like "denouement".
     
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  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from softpatina. Show softpatina's posts

    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    J9- great story, nice of you to share it.


    RDG, do you think maybe you should hide him on FB for now? It seems as if you are watching and waiting for any little crumb of acknowledgement and attention from him. I've been there, more recently than I like to admit.
     
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    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    My friend just txted me to offer consolation and a shoulder while I emotionally vomited all over him this afternoon about a health issue with my daughter.

    Gee, he is such an unfeeling monster, to use such an imbecilic mode of communication.

     
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  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from softpatina. Show softpatina's posts

    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    In Response to Re: Facebook Nonsense:
    [QUOTE]Softpatina, Agree on the 'avoid contact if you are holding onto a crumb of hope'. Reviewing my blog stats brought me down to reality.  I've stopped blog stalking madly intelligent professor guy. 
    Posted by Corporate-Hippie-Chick[/QUOTE]

    You don't realize that's what you're doing until you step back or it's run it's course and it ends. Then you see it wasn't much of anything to begin with. It feels significant in the beginning because it's new and you're hoping it develops into more.
    Kind of like waiting to see how hard Irene is going to hit. That might live up to all the hype either.
    Until a guy puts in some real effort and there's a real date, it's all just words blowing in the wind.
     
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    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    RDG- I just got through reading this and a few things strike me.  Do you realize how many times you put this guy on a pedestal and put yourself down?  You mention it as far as intelligence and artistic ability.  It's already like he is untouchable and you are unworthy and that surprises me because you are a woman with a hell of a lot of intelligence and have an awful lot to offer.  In other words, honey, you ain't no slouch!  I agree with a lot thats been said here already - I do believe that men like the thrill of the chase and anything made too easy is not challenging enough.  Also, as much as you may be sympathetic that he has no place to stay, you are under no obligation to house this guy and his partner and should not feel bad about it either.  I totally get that this man is fabulous in your eyes, but it's not gonna be right until you are fabulous in his eyes.  Holly.
     
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    Re: Facebook Nonsense

    In Response to Re: Facebook Nonsense:
    [QUOTE]RDG-   I totally get that this man is fabulous in your eyes, but it's not gonna be right until you are fabulous in his eyes.  Holly.
    Posted by jannicjay[/QUOTE]

    perfectly said!
     

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