Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    I do admit that my unbonded, completely false, nose-disjointed opinions on children do not qualify me to drown my babies.  That is true.  Thank God their Right Mothers were left in charge of those kids.  I could not have done nearly as good a job.
     
  2. This post has been removed.

     
  3. This post has been removed.

     
  4. This post has been removed.

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from s0xgirl. Show s0xgirl's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    FYI - DWL, your pictures have not been blocked! :)
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from bzorn22. Show bzorn22's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    In Response to Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free:
    Exactly, bzorn.  Exactly.  The same way that a couple of random  stabs at being married doesn't mean I would listen to marriage advice from a divorced person.
    Posted by diamondgirl

    I assure you I meant no insult. I was just saying that it is such a unique experience that only one who experienced parenthood can really understand it. It was certainly not to imply that there is something wrong with someone who does not have children. I would never do that. It was just to point out that there are some things that you can only understand by doing. And raising children is one of them.

    I do not live in Boston and, in fact, I have never even visited so as well read as I could get on the subject as much as I could listen to others on the subject I will not know what it was like to live in Boston unless I actually did that.


     
  7. This post has been removed.

     
  8. This post has been removed.

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Marat2012. Show Marat2012's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    diamondgirl, I admire your determination not to become bitter over the subject.


    I'll have to agree with bzorn.  Anyone who hasn't had kids always THINKS they can understand all the facets of being a parent.  It's not until they do become a parent that they find out that they had no idea.  The argument of "Well I was a kid, so of course I have an opinion that is informed..." is faulty because it assumes that the perspective of being a kid covers what someone goes through in being responsible and caring for that kid.

    As I said before, the opinions of non-parents are NOT without merit, but there are some subjects that I'll seek the advice of another parent for.

    If you're offended by that - then you have way too much time on your hands.  Putting that kind of emotional energy into being offended by the opinion of someone who you don't know and was never going to consult you regardless of parenthood status is something that parents of small children don't have time for.
     
  10. This post has been removed.

     
  11. This post has been removed.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from bzorn22. Show bzorn22's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    In Response to Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free:
    [QUOTE]As a parent, I can honestly say that most parents know about as much about effective parenting as most cops know about the nuances of the law. Which is to say, very little. This whole thing about "understanding all the facets of being a parent" just doesn't wash for me. You do learn about what a complex, massive commitment the whole thing is, and you experience a different form of love available in no other context.  But just because you love strongly, feel deep pain and joy, and watch them grow doesn't magically make you any less full of s--- than anyone else. Maybe some small number of parents parlay everything into a higher level of parental enlightenment, my experience is that most parents couldn't hit the Sea of Effectiveness if they fell out of Dr. Spock's f---ing boat.
    Posted by Stringer Bell[/QUOTE]

    Much of what you say is true but while the cop may not know the nuances of the law he almost certainly knows it better than the guy he is pulling over. Having a child doesn't make your opinion more right it could still be horribly wrongheaded but the experience is so unique that it would be like listening to a Catholic priest give advice on sex and marriage. What he says might be correct and it might be cogent but he is still speaking without experience.



     
  13. This post has been removed.

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from ygren. Show ygren's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    I don't understand why people who feel the best place for a child is in a Cuisinart get their knickers in a twist when they perceive that their input is not wanted in child-related conversations.

    I would think they wouldn't want to be part of the conversation.

    I do not look askance at their decision not to procreate.

    And sometimes the perception is completely self-imposed. While I would not actively seek their input on a subject so declaredly distasteful to them, as long as they do not suggest a wood-chipper [or something similarly draconian] I would not reject their input out of hand.

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    In Response to Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free:
    [QUOTE]I'll have to agree with bzorn.  Anyone who hasn't had kids always THINKS they can understand all the facets of being a parent.[/QUOTE]

    I don't.

    [QUOTE]The argument of "Well I was a kid, so of course I have an opinion that is informed..." is faulty because it assumes that the perspective of being a kid covers what someone goes through in being responsible and caring for that kid.[/QUOTE]
     
    I don't think that's what anyone would say.  I do think remembering to what life was like as a child gives us another perspective that can be useful to parents.  And, I think there are parents who could benefit from that perspective in order to better understand their children.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    Btw, there is a difference between understanding what it is like to be a parent and a parent asking for advice about a specific topic.  Can I give as much sympathy and support to someone who's stressed out about being a parent as another parent could?  No.  But, even though I am not a parent I can certainly offer concrete advice on how to get Johnny to behave better in Starbuck's. Hint: Stop habitually giving in and giving him a cupcake when he starts whining might be a good start.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    In Response to Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free : Much of what you say is true but while the cop may not know the nuances of the law he almost certainly knows it better than the guy he is pulling over. Posted by bzorn22[/QUOTE]

    Even if he pulls over a defense attorney who successfully argued a case before the Supreme Court?
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    In Response to Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free:
    [QUOTE]I don't understand why people who feel the best place for a child is in a Cuisinart get their knickers in a twist when they perceive that their input is not wanted in child-related conversations.Posted by ygren[/QUOTE]

    Funny, I don't see anyone here suggesting that at all.  The friend doesn't hate children, Diamond doesn't hate children.  If anyone here hates children I'd be the closest to it, but I've been warming up to them.  And I certainly never advocated the Cuisinart method.  Perhaps for their negligent, self-absorbed parents....

    (Btw, I worked in retail and saw quite a few bonehead parents and their children who acted out to get some form of attention from the boneheads.  Sad, really.)
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from ThatJneenGrrl. Show ThatJneenGrrl's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    Secret to being a parent:

    Wake up in the morning and do your best.

    Because every day is nothing like the one before.

    The end.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from ThatJneenGrrl. Show ThatJneenGrrl's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    Oh, and it's easy to judge other parents.

    I never gave in to my kids crying fits in stores, and carried them out under my arm like footballs on more than one occasion.  One time, some college aged girl shot "Mommy dearest" at me, and I felt like swinging my then-2 year old like a mace at her.

    You have no clue what that family is like.  None.
     
  21. This post has been removed.

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from ygren. Show ygren's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    Funny I never said anyone here had suggested such a thing. I have encountered the phenomenon.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from ygren. Show ygren's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    They don't learn without exposure and practice. I started taking my son to nice restaurants when he was an infant. And he has been to them periodically ever since. This mostly occurred when we were out of town on holiday when he was small. We'd dine at off hours when the crowds were light. If he was fussy or did not behave we left. Immediately.

    We'd get the stink-eye from people sometimes just for having him there; but I've shared enough restaurants with enough sub-humanly disruptive adults over the years to not give a flying rats furry backside if they didn't like my well-behaved child.

    While home I did my time at Mickey D's - our standing mother/son "date" on his dad's golf night for several years.  Same rules. Fussy and/or ill-behaved and we were out.

    Obviously the standard of behaviour at the PlayPlace [shudder] versus a 5-star was different.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    I knew if I misbehaved in public Mom would yank me out of there and I'd have an unpleasant ride home.  Thus, I behaved well public.  I also never bothered to ask for candy in the grocery store - I knew the answer would be, "No."
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free

    In Response to Re: Facebook question re: exclusion of the child-free:
    [QUOTE]Oh, and it's easy to judge other parents. I never gave in to my kids crying fits in stores, and carried them out under my arm like footballs on more than one occasion.  One time, some college aged girl shot "Mommy dearest" at me, and I felt like swinging my then-2 year old like a mace at her. You have no clue what that family is like.  None.
    Posted by ThatJneenGrrl[/QUOTE]

    And I would have been cheering you on ;)  When I see parents yelling at their kids I just tell myself, "They might be having a bad day, or the kid may have been wicked fresh five minutes before I saw anything."  On the plus side I've never witnessed outright abuse - I'd feel sick if I had.
     
Sections
Shortcuts

Share