Friday CLINGER!!!!!!! -box broken....AGAIN.

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from JeepersCripes. Show JeepersCripes's posts

    Friday CLINGER!!!!!!! -box broken....AGAIN.

    Q: Hi Meredith,

    I'm considered a pretty nice person, which at times is not good. Yes, I have gotten the whole "You're too nice" malarkey several times. And no, this is not one of those "waaahhh I'm too nice, I hate my life waaaahh" stories. No, I'm not like that I, I don't play that card, I find it pathetic. But every once in a while I wish I could be more of a jerk.

    I'm a single person in my late 20s. I love my independence. I do things for myself and answer to no one. Would I like to have a girlfriend? Sure, if it's right, but right now I have other priorities. So, a couple weeks ago, I hooked up with this girl and she stayed over. Sweet, right? Wrong. I've known this person for a long time and had a sense that she liked me but I wanted no part of her beyond what we were doing that night and made that explicitly clear. Before anything physical began I reviewed the ground rules (this is what it is and not anything more, I don't want you calling me all the time, I will not visit you, I do not feel for you romantically, this is just a hook up etc etc). And now I am being mercilessly bombarded with numerous daily texts, phone calls, Facebook chat messages and wall posts, she's friended my friends ... I hate when my cell phone buzzes. Seriously it's NON STOP. I've reminded her of my pre-bedroom riot act speech but nothing changed. Currently I'm ignoring her and it’s not working.

    So this where the whole "nice" thing comes in. I'm not totally unaccustomed to clingers, but this is for sure a STAGE 5 CLINGER. I usually have good radar for them, but I definitely let my guard down to satisfy an urge, and now this has become my life. My friends think this is hilarious, but even she's annoying them. Any breakup or parting of ways, aside from a couple nasty heartbreaks, has either been mutual, cordial, or ended by passive disinterest. I have never had to resort to being a jerk to get rid of someone and I really do not want start now. I feel like that might be my only resort unless you can figure out an alternative.

    – Exploding Phone, South Shore

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from JeepersCripes. Show JeepersCripes's posts

    Re: Friday CLINGER!!!!!!! -box broken....AGAIN.

    DUDE!!!!! If you know a chick likes you past the "I just want to boff and leave", you dont SLEEP with them!! Isnt that like in Guys Manual 101???
    Of course she is going to haul azzzz up the ladder to Floor 5. You slept with her. While you were giving the speech about this just being a one night thing, she had your wedding pattern picked out.
    Some women are like this (and some men too!)
    You live and you learn.

    Now you need to tell her in a nice-but not so nice way to back off. Stern, but not jerky.

    Best of luck.


    Jeeps
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Jim-in-Littleton. Show Jim-in-Littleton's posts

    Re: Friday CLINGER!!!!!!! -box broken....AGAIN.

    lol  I guess that answers my question - I'm not the only one having problems commenting!

    As for my response, I don't think "being a jerk" is required but being passive isn't going to work either.  Mere's suggested letter isn't bad. 

    LW, you can be "nice" and assertive at the same time.  They aren't mutually exclusive. 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from JeepersCripes. Show JeepersCripes's posts

    Re: Friday CLINGER!!!!!!! -box broken....AGAIN.

    Wait, is this letter really from PC???
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Friday CLINGER!!!!!!! -box broken....AGAIN.

    You could also go the terse route...  When she calls, tersely say, "I told you I didn't want you calling me all the time."  Then abruptly hang up.  Then ignore her.

    Oh, and if you have a cool phone like mine you can set your phone to ignore her.  I haven't used it since I don't sleep with people I think kinda like me when I just want a one night stand.  Maybe that's because I don't just want a one night stand...  I want a relationship.  And help picking out the china patterns and flatware.
     
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