Help with a parent who needs care

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  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    In Response to Re: Help with a parent who needs care:
    In Response to Re: Help with a parent who needs care : _________________________________ Thank you kargiver - I am going to get this to hopefully help deal with my ex.
    Posted by Inter-Planet

    You're welcome - I'm so glad I recommended it; I had no idea how many people could actually, unfortunately, relate to what we go through with a person like that.  I'd love to hear from you, again, if you could send me a message when you're done. :)

    ...and Lily and anyone else who's reading it.  It would make my day to hear from you after.

     
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  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from justcat. Show justcat's posts

    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    I have requested it at my local library. 
     
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    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    Sweet!  I'm pumped I mentioned it and hope you'll each find it a 5 star read, too.
     
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    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    In Response to Re: Help with a parent who needs care:
    I had no idea how many people could actually, unfortunately, relate to what we go through with a person like that.
    Posted by kargiver


    It is quite troubling how many people have raised their hand and said, "Me, too!"  I always assumed that NPD was relatively rare :(

    I've heard that Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride is also helpful.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from MrCorvin. Show MrCorvin's posts

    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    Lily the only thing I can add is make sure that there is a DPOA on file with whatever insurance your mother has. If the insurance doesn't have teh DPOA and an emergency happens and changes need to be made, it is very important.
     
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    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    Lily, I missed the original post as well, and haven't read every single comment, but have gotten the gist.  Im very very sorry for, well, for all of it.  I can't imagine growing up that way or being put into the position currently.  But I'd just like to say that rather than feeling badly about not wanting her to move in with you and your child, I think you should be very, very proud of yourself that you've become the great person and awesome mother that you are despite the circumstances in which you were raised.  Kudos. 

    I would also say that whether you decide to attempt to come to peace with her directly or not "before it's too late," make the decision and be comfortable with it before the decision is made for you.  Many people felt I should have made a second effort to connect with my birthmother before she passed away and it was too late, and I worried about that too as she was fairly elderly by the time I even located her, but after a while I decided I didnt really want to give her another chance.  Once she's gone I won't regret it, though others think I will, but I've made that decision before the option has been taken away.

    Good luck, and don't forget to breathe.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from dog-lady. Show dog-lady's posts

    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    The book mentioned (post #11) was written by a social worker (MSW) not a psychiatrist (MD) as stated in the post. I'm not a fan of self-help books that encourage labeling people with a personality disorder.   Only a licensed mental health professional that has personally examined and evaluated an individual can make a diagnosis.  BTW: Many high functioning people have narcissistic personality disorder traits, it doesn't make them bad, damaged or evil! 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    It could have been written by the Man in the Moon for all I care - it was awesome and very helpful, and the many people who gave it 5 stars and detailed reviews thought so, too.

    ETA:  You're entitled to post your opinion, but I find it odd that it's always exactly the opposite of whatever I suggest or think.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from dog-lady. Show dog-lady's posts

    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    It's not about you!  It is about a woman who has reached out for help, she may be in emotional and/or physical pain and in need of assistance.  I don't understand how reading a book at this time would be helpful!  Just my opinion, that's all!  
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    I find it odd that you try to discredit everything I suggest on every single topic that ever comes up on the BDC forums.  Pets, nutrition, relationships, emotional health...ev-er-y-thing.  You're entitled, of course, but I find it intriguingly obtuse.
     
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  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from dog-lady. Show dog-lady's posts

    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    If I have a different opinion than you, or anyone for that matter, that does not mean it is a personal attack!   Believe me, I ignore as much inaccurate information as I can,  however when it involves living things (people or animals) it's frustrating not to respond!   I intentionally don't read some of the forums here to avoid this type of reaction when I attempt to clarify.  My last post on this thread!
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    In Response to Re: Help with a parent who needs care:
    In Response to Re: Help with a parent who needs care : It is quite troubling how many people have raised their hand and said, "Me, too!"  I always assumed that NPD was relatively rare :( I've heard that Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride is also helpful.
    Posted by TwoCentDonation


    My Mum is gone, but I'm going to purchase this book. Thank you for posting it.
     
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    Re: Help with a parent who needs care

    Whether written by professionals or not, sometimes it's refreshing to at least get another perspective which might help you strengthen (or challenge) your own perspective.
     
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