Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from JAR-VT. Show JAR-VT's posts

    Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    I read Love Letters every day and many of the comments, and actually had my own letter published a couple of weeks ago. Often times, I actually have some advice to give that might be valuable to somebody who is having enough of a problem to write into a public forum. Guess what? The LW will never read it because

    a) Multiple regular posters here use this board to showcase how incredibly funny they are;
    b) Use this board to maintain relationships with other commenters;
    c) Use this board to vent how much they think everybody else but themselves suck, and how much holier than thou they are than the LW.

    Am I the only person who would like to see a one comment per person per day rule? And maybe, just maybe, the people could be nice even if they are calling the other person out on some issue?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from LWhitt58. Show LWhitt58's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    Congrats on getting your letter published.  Hope we helped.  As for multiple commenting on the message board?  BDC would have to completely change their commenting software, I'm sure.

    And again - as long as the Blog Owner (a.k.a. Meredith) allows the chit-chat (and she DOES allow it), it's going to happen.  The clicks and refreshes on the site allow for more ads to be served, which helps pay their bills.  By limiting to one post per user name, the ad revenue drops, and the blog goes away.  Or the entire site goes away.  Which could still very well happen, but at least the LL folk will help to keep it struggling along as long as we can!

    Any Letter Writer worth their salt, especially if they're long-time lurkers, will know to wade through that chit-chat to get to responses to their Love Question.  And hopefully have a few laughs along the way at the OT chit-chat.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    No. This limits free speech on the internet.
    ----

    I voted for that. But you should know, there is no unlimited Internet free speech. boston.com is not owned by the government, to which the First Amendment applies.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Archangel Michael. Show Archangel Michael's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    Why would a blog intentionally reduce traffic and therefore commit digital self immolation?
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    I think with discussion sometimes your take on the letter can change, there isn't always a black and white answer to these questions.  Otherwise, there wouldn't be a need for comments, just a poll. 
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Archangel Michael. Show Archangel Michael's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    A poll with options like:
    A) Discard him like a rotten onion
    B) MEATBALLS!
    C) Ask "When is the REAL making out going to start?"
    D) Say Hello to my mom!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Archangel Michael. Show Archangel Michael's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    There is a community built around the blog.  Encourage us to have our party elsewhere and watch the thing dry up and blow away.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from backbaybabe. Show backbaybabe's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    oh, and to all LW's one way to see the most valuable posts from readers would be to just hit the "most recommend" button. the most recommond button is a useful tool to see the most sincere and true form of advice that the posters offer to actually try and help a LW. TRUE BE THAT!!!

    believe you me, the people who do post here without a doubt offer their honest and most insightful advice FIRST.(well, 99% of the times)
    then a discussion/debate will ensue on the differing opinions. then once all the relevant advice,  debate/discussion has been offered up, then the OT(off-topic) banter starts....

    now that said, its all up to the topic of the that day's letter when the banter starts...
    if the topic hits nerves, then we'll stay on topic, almost all day.

    if the topic was something slightly silly and a non-issue of sorts, then OT starts early. once in a blue moon as early as say maybe 9:45 or so.

    But to limit a poster to one comment per day, doesnt help the LW in many cases.

    we've had letter writers update us on how our advice(ok, not mine, but all the other lovelie's advice) has helped them se another side that wasnt obvious to them.

    JAR_VT - there are many different personalities here, with many different life experiences that we(NOT JUST THE LWs) learn from. when we have these discussions, i think we all take away from this blog something that we possibly didnt see in ourselves. so limiting wonderful people and their comments wouldnt be helpful to anyone.

    btw, i hope that the day your letter was published  that these fine people(well most of them) were able to help you see things clearer.

    ok, my BBB rambling is done.... not sure it helped, but i said my peace
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    Yes, agree with BBB - sometimes our advice mellows/changes/is clarified throughout the morning.


    So a 1 post per poster limit would limit helpful advice as well as poster on poster spam or posterbation.


    Also, having the posters discuss back and forth frequently brings new and interesting opnions out.  We inform each other as well as spouting our own opinions.

    This issue has been discussed a lot VT, and Meredith as the blog owner has decided she likes the OT, or at least tolerates it as more helpful than not.  I know it bugs a lot of people, and I can see that. 

    Sort of like you have to tolerate painful misfired jokes in order to enjoy really funny satire ( a la PrimeSuspect), you also have to tolerate some drivel in order to see the free exchange of ideas.  RDG correctly points out that the blog is not government-owned, so 'free speech' per se is not protected, but Meredith has chosen to let us exchange ideas pretty freely.

    They have even relaxed the word filter a lot, as we have proven that humor and interesting opinions are more important to us than insulting each other and name calling, occasional spats notwithstanding.

    I don't know; I think the valuable parts are more valuable than the harmful parts are harmful.


    Ultimately, Meredith's answer is the only thing that is required to be On Topic, after all...

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Archangel Michael. Show Archangel Michael's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    Yes, the advice does tend to evolve as the discussion goes on.  Black and White line up on either side of the room, then rush together and pigpile and eventually, the best advice is teased out of all the mushed-up grey.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from theprimesuspect. Show theprimesuspect's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    I encourage you to seek non-internet-based advice.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from user_4376881. Show user_4376881's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    The issue here isn't that there are "multiple posters trying to be funny".  It's that people were probably a little mean to you and you got all butthurt over it, enough so to write a forum post and a poll about it.

    This is why as a nation we are just the biggest bunch of wimps ever.  Stop being so sensitive.
     
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  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from user_4376881. Show user_4376881's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    I try, and succeed.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    I was only going to post once in this thread, but I failed. 
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Archangel Michael. Show Archangel Michael's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    ::makes poot noise with mouth::
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from JAR-VT. Show JAR-VT's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    Let's just say I didn't agree with certain people's advice, even when it didn't have to do with me. And I have gotten offended on behalf of LWs when I had no personal stake involved due to many of the comments. I knew what I was getting into when I wrote. And Meredith's advice was great. Perhaps I should not have divulged that I wrote in at all, as it clearly makes it seem like I am being cry-baby-ish about it, or skews the intent of my posting about it in this forum.

    Personally, I enjoy people writing back in over the course of the morning, or whatnot, looking at the letter from different angles and I would not want to hinder that process for anybody. However, it is frustrating when a person feels that they genuinely can provide some guidance for a person and there are 791 comments at 11:30a and only 200 of those are valuable advice. What the chance of the LW reading even all 200 is, I do not know.

    Also, (1) I will say that almost all of the people who responded to this post provide valuable guidance on a daily basis and (2) I have not evaluated the importance of the "refreshing" and revisiting of the site in regards to revenue and that's a good point.

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from JazzyJtotheILL. Show JazzyJtotheILL's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    In Response to Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!:
    [QUOTE]A poll with options like: A) Discard him like a rotten onion B) MEATBALLS! C) Ask "When is the REAL making out going to start?" D) Say Hello to my mom!
    Posted by Schlippo[/QUOTE]

    MEATBALLS!
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    JARVT- sometimes I don't even agree with my morning advice by the afternoon! 
    Sometimes the LW writes in with an update, and that changes the whole scenario.  Or a commenter (funny or not) will bring up a good point - and not just the absurd assumptions (maybe the LW is a gay alien in medical school...) that provokes a new way of thinking.  Some of it is free association, but also some of it is real processing that can only take place after the knee-jerking is all over. 

    Thanks for revisiting the thread and being open-minded! 

    Psssst - my advice is stellar, isn't it?  
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from EnjoyEverySandwich. Show EnjoyEverySandwich's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!



    Annie's Mailbox and Dear Margo both have comment blogs, and those blogs tend to stay 95% on topic.


    There have been times when I realize that I have the perfect personal experience to share with a LW, but it's late and I don't bother posting.  But, you know what?  I am pretty sure the LW and the world at large survives the loss just fine. 

    I'm not saying that to be snarky;  I'm saying it because it took me a long time to learn that the world really doesn't need to know my opinion about everything.  When I was younger, I was bursting with advice -- but I never offered it unless asked, which sadly  Wink almost never happened.   It really, really bothered me to keep all that stuff bottled up.  Now, at my advanced age, I've seen so much ebb and flow in life that I'm okay with keeping things to myself, mostly because I know that others will be okay without my keen insight, too.


    Or maybe it's because I now have kids and they have to listen to my advice whether they like it or not, so I get my advice-giving jones met that way. 

    Either way, count me in the keep the blog as it is camp (though less negativity towards the LW and other posters would be very very nice). 



     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from user_4376881. Show user_4376881's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    JAR_VT, you're not going to agree with everyone's advice.  That's just the reality of it - you ask us a question that's obviously very close to you emotionally, and of course it's going to sting or make you recoil a bit when someone challenges the things you believe in.

    But it got you to think a little didn't it?
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from EnjoyEverySandwich. Show EnjoyEverySandwich's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!



    And JAR_VT -- I agree about LW's feelings being hurt.  If I ever wrote to Meredith, I don't think I'd be brave enough to read the blog comments.  Even letters where the writer seems 100% sympathetic, somebody always finds some negative comment to make.  So I commend you for braving the comments at all!  You must be made of strong stuff.  :)

     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from ItDoesntMatterWhatIThink. Show ItDoesntMatterWhatIThink's posts

    Re: Let me showcase how witty and/or intolerant I am!

    Honestly, I never engage in the chit chat without offering advice first.
    It's my own little personal rule.

    Aside from that, my style is fragmented. I might do up to 10 posts a day... all with thoughts or musings directly related to the matter at hand. Who knows how many unrelated posts I write...

    If I had to reduce them all to one, long-winded post, I wouldn't bother. It's not my style.
     

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