Re: Losing Friends....and being an idiot
posted at 11/11/2011 11:39 AM EST
In Response to Re: Losing Friends....and being an idiot
[QUOTE]I feel so alien reading this string. It's OK, but it's just another reminder. I lost a few friends, but not many, when I married. My friends did not move to new places when I did and I was moving a bit. No effect on the long distance friends. For the local ones, the assumption was that now that I was a real wife, that I would be different from who I was when I was living with him. When I asked how I was different, I was told that I wasn't yet, but once I got the hang of being a good wife I would be. I've changed over the years and a long history with him has undoubtedly been part of that evolution. Still, I'm told that I don't seem married - whatever that means - and it creeps some people out. When we moved again, I made new friends - single and coupled - who knew I was married but rarely interracted with me as part of a couple. Some doubted that I was married, but the occasional husband sighting argued in my favor. Since my son was born, I've told a few stories on him. I have a picture on my desk. But people began to snipe at me because I didn't carry around pictures to show. Apparently I'm not a real mother either, although my son would disgree
Posted by ygren[/QUOTE]
ummm wow. This is just sad. I told Mr. jazz I wouldn't be putting pictures up of his son at work. I'm at work to work.. I don't want people to have ANY feelings one way or another about me raising a child. I think especially as a woman- people view you differently at work if they know you have kids to rush home to or cook for or go see in a play or at a game. They seem to completely disvalue your worth in the market. Its a shame but it's true.
I hardly hear from anyone anymore. And having two hours of a commute each way (on a good day) exemplifies the feeling of loneliness. I call people.. no one picks up the phone. People think - "oh she won't care if I don't answer, it's just me" but when more than one "just me" happens.. consistently.. it gets hard to handle and smile about.
I talk to more LL people than I do any of my old friends and family.
I really wish people would pull themselves out of their own arses for once and realize the affect they have on other people.
(((ygren))) you ARE a mom and you ARE a wife.. but you are also - a person, friend, daughter, coworker, citizen... etc.