Motivation to do stuff....

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from MrCorvin. Show MrCorvin's posts

    Motivation to do stuff....

    This is something that I have put up for discussion. Part of it has to do with weightloss, however, I think in general it goes for life.

    When you say you need motivation to do something, does your hunt for motivation fly in the face of other people's hunts?

    I'm not sure if this makes sense, but let me give a personal example, which will cause me to explain.

    I'm trying to focus on my weight loss seriously again. I had stepped on the scale recently and did not like that I gained almost 2/3 of the weight I lost back.

    At the same time, I am LAZY.

    Last year, my work had this event that was like a biggest loser team challenge. I had a team, I told the team my faults, and my team helped to give me support etc that I needed on a DAILY basis that really can't go through a computer or phone call. For example I needed to take out of my hands my lunch purchasing, so I gave money to a person on the team to bring in healthy, but filling, meals. The woman on my team would guilt me in only the way that a succesful mother/grandmother could guilt someone. Another threatened physical pain and beatings!

    Getting this adjusted at work, allowed me to reorganize my mind to eat a bit healthier even outside of work (granted I had alot of hot pockets/frozen dinners when I was eating alone, but mostly I ment by going out. Portion control was an issue). Anyway I lost weight.

    Then our busy season hit, and at work I was tasked to do my old job which I really didn't like, but they needed me because I'm really good at it. So Stress lead to "I'll have a cheeseburger..." to "a bacon cheese burger" to "a bacon cheese burger and fries..." to "add a coke to that..."

    I realize that how I need to go about and lose weight to try to get myself back into the position to do this. I'm again paying the coworker to work on my meals at lunch again.

    Now back to the original point, I A coworker believes that because I'm doing it for myself I should just be able to do it without having to be dragged kicking and screaming to do it, so we have been arguing (good heartedly) about this. I feel that if you know you need to be dragged kicking and screaming to do something (this includes the gym in my case), and are going through steps get back into good habits, and have people to help drag you until you can get back into the good habits, then that is fine to get the motivation to follow through.

    He thinks you should just be like an addict, do it, and keep doing it.

    Now, to me this isn't just about working out, it's about all motivation to do things. What is your take on it? When you are not motivated to do something but know you really should do it, but don't want too, what do you do to finally do it? What do you need to get motivated to do what you should be doing and know you are too lazy to do it?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from EnjoyEverySandwich. Show EnjoyEverySandwich's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....


    MrCorvin:  The whole Weight Watchers paradigm is based on peer pressure/support, and WW is one of the more successful programs out there.

    So, short answer, I think your coworker doesn't know his rice cakes from his Drakes Cakes.

    Best of luck to you -- I'm trying to get my own motivation going myself.  It's not easy to get started, even if you have done it before.

     
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  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from dog-lady. Show dog-lady's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_12605_00621822000P?prdNo=1&blockNo=1&blockType=G1&adCell=W3 Just bought this thing and planted it in front of the tv, I've been doing 20 minutes 4 times a day since Friday, already I feel better.  I'm sleeping better and dropped 2 pounds without changing my eating habits!
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from naturalginger. Show naturalginger's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    Mr. Corvin, the one thing I learned from an early age is that when something is too hard to do on your own, it's ok to ask for help. As long as you're making every effort to contribute every bit you can to the cause, there's no problem with enlisting those around you to make your mission a success.

    Right now I'm also on a weight loss kick and part of my motivation is that I enlisted my best friend to keep me honest and send her my food journals every day. Each morning we start the day with an email and send our respective journals to each other. We can't lie to each other, we're both too close and very bad at it to even try.

    The result is 1) Accountability and 2) Inspiration. I was getting bored with boiled eggs and an apple for breakfast, but I need something I can take on the run. She gets a soy latte and KIND bar each morning and I thought "I should try that".  Same for snacks, dinners, etc. The monotony of diet is broken by seeing it thru someone else's lens of healthy.

    I agree with Hippie - the main issue you need to tackle is positive reinforcement. What would make you happy and content in negative situations like the job situation that doesn't come with cheese and a side of fries?  For me, it's a spa treatment. Figure out your (non food) reward and look forward to it with each step of success.
     
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  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from MrCorvin. Show MrCorvin's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    In Response to Re: Motivation to do stuff....:
    [QUOTE]I think you are depending too much on social pressure and not enough on positive motivators.  Give it a think, my friend.  How are you rewarding yourself when you do well?  Do those rewards truly excite you? Also - please think about structural changes for those high stress times.  Are there other (not food) comforts that can make you feel good when you are working long hours?  Be creative.
    Posted by Corporate-Hippie-Chick[/QUOTE]

    That's my primary issue about the weight loss. I'm losing the weight just to be healthier. Health wise everything is fine, just fat. I'm thinking more long term then anything else. While this is a positive reason to do it....

    ...generally there isn't anything that moves me as a positive reward.  When I lost my large chunk of weight I was able to weave in some favorite snacks and splurge on a meal or something that might not be hardcore healthy.  I basically am just attempting to form positive eating habits again and actually have it stick.

    However, in regards to work, it's not long hours, but after detailing with emotional stresses of the job they make me do, a bacon double cheeseburger with fries and a coke is the equivalent to me as if a ditch digger took a long hot shower. Mostly my hope is that next year I won't have to do my old job again and continue the job that I like to do. I'll respond to others when I get home since this whole conversation of motivation has interested me.
     
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  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    Finding out what motivates YOU and not what your friend thinks should motivate you is key.  Your coworker doesn't sound like he knows much about much.  IGNORE. 

    Structuring things so that you get the support, motivation, input, feedback - whatever it is that you need - is key.  It's also really difficult.  And when your situation changes - it needs to be adjusted. 

    I would recommend that you find other rewards besides food - it sounds like that is tripping you up.  "I lost two pounds, now I get a Big Mac".  That's a set up - if you can find other rewards that are meaningful to you - go in that direction. 
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Jim-in-Littleton. Show Jim-in-Littleton's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    In Response to Motivation to do stuff....:
    [QUOTE]Now back to the original point , I A coworker believes that because I'm doing it for myself I should just be able to do it without having to be dragged kicking and screaming to do it, so we have been arguing (good heartedly) about this. I feel that if you know you need to be dragged kicking and screaming to do something (this includes the gym in my case), and are going through steps get back into good habits, and have people to help drag you until you can get back into the good habits, then that is fine to get the motivation to follow through.

    He thinks you should just be like an addict, do it, and keep doing it. 

    Now, to me this isn't just about working out, it's about all motivation to do things. What is your take on it? When you are not motivated to do something but know you really should do it, but don't want too, what do you do to finally do it? What do you need to get motivated to do what you should be doing and know you are too lazy to do it?
    Posted by MrCorvin[/QUOTE]

    Contrary to a few others here, I don't think your co-worker is completely off base.  I think he and you are just in different starting places.  Why do I think that?  Well... your own comments lead me there.

    "When you are not motivated to do something but know you really should do it, but don't want too..."  

    and

    "Health wise everything is fine, just fat. I'm thinking more long term then anything else."

    It doesn't exactly sound as though you've 100% bought into the idea that change needs to be made to begin with. It sound slike it was something that came up through work and other people were doing it so you joined in as well - not because you wanted to, but because others were doing so.

    Having someone monitor/assist you is great.  Rewards can help motivate.  But if you don't WANT to change, nothing is going to do it for you.  Groups like Weight Watchers aren't intended to be used for the rest of your life.  They get you started, help you learn how to do it on your own and provide support until you develop the new habits (and they are there if you need a future "tune up".). But they don't work worth a dang if you don't WANT to lose the weight to begin with. 

    What your co-worker has that you don't is deep-seated desire as a starting point.  If you have the desire you'll have the self-motivation to push through the slow spots.

    Now, to answer your question; "When you are not motivated to do something but know you really should do it, but don't want too, what do you do to finally do it?"

    Absolutely nothing.  If I don't want to do something then, just like millions of other people, I don't do it - even if I should do it.

    So my suggestion? Find a reason that YOU accept for losing weight.  A reason you buy into 100%. Once you buy into a reason you can set your goals and, IMO, it will get easier to find find motivation. The rest of it is just there to help.


     
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  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from ygren. Show ygren's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    There will be those who insist that you should do it on your own. They believe that your need for outside support, guilting, etc. is a crutch and they wouldn't be doing you any favors providing that kind of push.

    There will be those who will joyfully to be your drill sergeants and  cheerleaders. They know in their hearts that they are helping.

    If you get results enlisting the second group and they are on board, then great. Be careful not to tire them out and stay engaged or when they up the volume, you may feel under siege.

    Don't argue with the first group. Once they make it clear they want you to do it all for your own good move on.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from s0xgirl. Show s0xgirl's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    Some people really don't get that stuff is hard. It's easy for some people to be like "so just don't eat a cheeseburger? it's not that difficult..."

    Luckily, there are people who *do* get it. You don't have to listen to any one person's opinions. Just do what works for you.

     
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  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from jespah. Show jespah's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    Weight loss ain't easy (and maintenance is even more difficult). And it's rather individual.

    I think there's a boatload of failure out there from people trying to shove a bunch of square pegs into round holes/go for one size fits all/insert metaphor of choice.

    The coworker's opinions are just that ... opinions. Not a lotta science behind 'em.

    You do what works for you. I've got a gal on another site who's calling me out for eating Fiber One bars, as they are processed food. Yes, they are. I also have a life and can't make all-natural whatever bars to grab when the mood strikes. Plus this is a way to get some chocolate into my life, and the portion is controlled. It is not a processed food in a parade of dozens of other processed foods - it is one processed food amidst a lot of homemade stuff.

    Oh and I'm keeping off over 130 lbs., and have been for a few years now.

    No-Processed-Food-Person is just saying what they believe to be true. And I agree that generally processed foods = evil.

    But if this thing makes it so that I don't have the big, bad quart of chocolate ice cream, or it keeps me happy after I run a 5K, well, yanno, I'm gonna eat the damned bar.

    Do what works for you.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from bzorn22. Show bzorn22's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    I am kind of practical. I believe in doing whatever works. At the end of the day the motivation has to come from within but that does not mean you can dispense with help. Losing weight with other people gives you a great deal of incentive much like a team sport can get you to do more than you thought because of the need to please or help the group. For me weight lost is the hardest and of course the most critical. Good luck to you. Oh I find a full length mirror that you stand naked and sideways. Trust me that can be a huge motivation.

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from two-sheds. Show two-sheds's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    As an engineer, I would express this as two parts of an equation.  One part is much resistance you have to a temptation.  The other part of the equation, is how powerful the temptation is.  If the temptation is greater than your ability to resist, you give in.

    The right motivation will improve your resistance.
    Getting your friend to prepare meals for you, lowers the strength of a temptation.

    Probably the best success results from working on both sides of the equation, although for some it is possible to succeed by working only one.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from MoVa. Show MoVa's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    Try to shop for stuff that will make healthy filling lunches and not grab the comfort burger. You could meet up with someone else to have your lunch together and trade making lunches for both of you. It will be pleasant and give you something to look forward to instead of just grabbing what is quick, easy and fattening. I found that bringing my own food to work made a huge difference in my ability to either lose weight or keep it off. It also saves me quite a bit of money, that can be put towards something fun.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from GMV2. Show GMV2's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    I don't agree at all with your co-worker.

    In my experience, no one technique works for everyone. Also, sometimes a technique will work for a while but will not work permanently. You can kind of fall off the wagon with diet changes and exercise (and the holidays are pretty good at rearranging your priorities and getting you off track.)

    The main thing is to try to keep your focus and make your health a priority and to get the focus back if you lose it.

    If you liked being part of a group then maybe you could find a WW group you like. Also, some gyms have weightloss/exercise programs with a personal trainer you can sign up for on a semi-permanent basis. I know it costs, but, for some people. the additional support, socialization and accountability make it worth it. FWIW I found out that my new insurance covers at least part of WW; I have to check that out. Good luck.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from MrCorvin. Show MrCorvin's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    I'm going to go through and hit everyone as I go along.

    Wizen:

    "I would recommend that you find other rewards besides food - it sounds like that is tripping you up.  "I lost two pounds, now I get a Big Mac".  That's a set up - if you can find other rewards that are meaningful to you - go in that direction."

    See, that's really an issue. The "other rewards."


    I honestly can't think of some sort of meaningful reward. I'm not very much in "I lost 2 pounds, get a big mac," however, when I did lose the 30 pounds, I had no issue if I had lost 5-6 to get a cannoli.


    Jim-in-Littleton:

    "It doesn't exactly sound as though you've 100% bought into the idea that change needs to be made to begin with. It sound slike it was something that came up through work and other people were doing it so you joined in as well - not because you wanted to, but because others were doing so."


    Not really. I've been heavy since I was 8. If work has any effect, it is due to the fact that I work in a health industry and I do worry about the long term effects. I might be fine now, but what about 10 years from now.


    I was able to make some changes, however, busy season work stress sabatoged my weight more then anything else. All of the good habits I was taking in went to stress relief (food), because I had tried other things that just didn't do anything to do it.


    To be honest, I'm pretty happy overall. It's hard to set rewards when in reality you have everything you want/need (except an oven, but moving into a new apartment is not a reward).


    ygren:

    "There will be those who insist that you should do it on your own. They believe that your need for outside support, guilting, etc. is a crutch and they wouldn't be doing you any favors providing that kind of push."


    Oddly enough, he's doing it by complaining about it.


    jespah:

    "You do what works for you. I've got a gal on another site who's calling me out for eating Fiber One bars, as they are processed food. Yes, they are. I also have a life and can't make all-natural whatever bars to grab when the mood strikes. Plus this is a way to get some chocolate into my life, and the portion is controlled. It is not a processed food in a parade of dozens of other processed foods - it is one processed food amidst a lot of homemade stuff."


    I have no issue with processed food. When I did alot of my weight loss as I mentioned in the other thread, it was alot of fiber one bars and lean pockets since a major issue I have/had was portion control.


    bzorn22:

    "Oh I find a full length mirror that you stand naked and sideways. Trust me that can be a huge motivation."


    I tend to start singing a parody of LMAO's "I'm Sexy and I know it" called "I'm santa and I know it."


    two-sheds:
    "The right motivation will improve your resistance.
    Getting your friend to prepare meals for you, lowers the strength of a temptation."

    That's exactly thought.


    GMV2:

    "If you liked being part of a group then maybe you could find a WW group you like."

    I've tried weight watchers in the past. I didn't care for it. I had no care for the people in the groups I've went to. I also am not a calorie/point counter person so when I lost my weight, it was mostly working on healthy habits (which completely broke during the busy season). That worked. I'm going to look to see if my gym at work (which I have a membership but barely use) has a "Drag me to the gym kicking and screaming" option.

     
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  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from StormyMonsoon. Show StormyMonsoon's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    Going buddy-buddy with someone to help you stay motivated and on point is perfectly fine.  In fact I started a buddy system with a coworker and it has resulted in me resuming my running program with daily workouts.  (Running, oh how I've missed you.)

    So there's absolutely positively nothing wrong with that.

    Here's where I think your friend might be coming from though...At some point you need to be doing it for you.  What it all comes down you is that you alone are responsible for you.  Having a buddy system is helpful, but not having that shouldn't be a reason to fail.  Finding a way to change your mental approach in that regard will go a long way to helping you achieve your goals.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from StormyMonsoon. Show StormyMonsoon's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    Oh, and today I learned that CHC's safety word is "bacon".  Laughing
     
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  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from cb156. Show cb156's posts

    Re: Motivation to do stuff....

    I am intrigued by the "I gave money to a person on the team to bring in healthy, but filling, meals"
    Is this person cooking food for you, or buying it prepared somewhere?  Either way, I would think they could teach you how to do what they are doing for you.
     
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