Not to be depressing....

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from LWhitt58. Show LWhitt58's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{mikeg}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} 

    I'm so very sorry for your loss.  But the poem is so right - we will see our loved ones again, in whatever place you believe is the hereafter.
     
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    Re: Not to be depressing....

    Sorry for your loss. I copied it to a file I have for meaningful quotes. Thanks for sharing.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from backbaybabe. Show backbaybabe's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    Mike, that was really beautiful... thanks for sharing!!!!

    and i too am sorry for your loss.

    not to be morbid, but my father is elderly, 90 this year. and ive been consumed lately with the thoughts of losing him.
    ive been fortunate enough that i havent lost a family memeber in a very long time. and now that my parents are getting on, and mom's health hasnt been great(she's 76), ive really been thinking about their mortality and how how im going to deal with it.
    it totally frightens me to no end.

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    I was asked to read that once at an inlaw's funeral.  I always find it very moving and had a really hard time reading it all the way through without choking up.  It's a beautiful piece. 
     
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    Re: Not to be depressing....

    In Response to Re: Not to be depressing....:
    Mike, that was really beautiful... thanks for sharing!!!! and i too am sorry for your loss. not to be morbid, but my father is elderly, 90 this year. and ive been consumed lately with the thoughts of losing him. ive been fortunate enough that i havent lost a family memeber in a very long time. and now that my parents are getting on, and mom's health hasnt been great(she's 76), ive really been thinking about their mortality and how how im going to deal with it. it totally frightens me to no end.
    Posted by backbaybabe


    Know what you mean, BBB...most of my elderly relatives (grandparents, great uncles, great aunts) have all gone on to their rewards long since - to the best of my knowledge, my paternal grandmother's youngest sister is the last one left, and she's around 92 herself if she's still with us.  My dad turned 72 back in November, and my mom will be 70 at the end of May - while my family has a history of longevity (pretty much all of my grands and great-grands were in their 80s or 90s when they passed), I often wonder how I'm going to handle it when my folks have their numbers called, as it were.  I suppose this happens to all of us, eventually - we wind up being the patriarchs and matriarchs of our families - but it's scary to think about.

    G-Man, that's a great poem. 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from TheRealJBar. Show TheRealJBar's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    Mikey, thank you for sharing this.  Like BBB my parents are elderly and are beginning to fail.  This poem helps put these thoughts into prospective. What always chokes me up are Amazing Grace and Over the Rainbow, two of my brother's favorites.  At his funeral a friend of his surprised us by putting out an amplifier and guitar, and playing both songs.  It was a touching sendoff for my dear brother, but I'm crying right now remembering it.
     
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    Re: Not to be depressing....

    ohhh Jbar

    how wonderfully sweet was that? wow. thats touching!!

    just read the poem again, mikey, great one.
     
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    Re: Not to be depressing....

    RedWolf said, about losing parents: I suppose this happens to all of us, eventually - we wind up being the patriarchs and matriarchs of our families - but it's scary to think about.
    _____________--

    As you might imagine I'm a little further down this path that you are. It is scary, but there are two things that make it OK. One is doing the best you can for the family member while they are still with you. It's easier to let go if you know you tried the best you could. The other is that when you become the matriarch or patriarch you can rely on the strengths from that generation, even if they are gone.  My parents weren't the best of parents, but the strengths they passed on are what help me now. Looking back, perhaps the hardest years for me have been during the final illnesses of parents rather than the years following their deaths.
     
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    Re: Not to be depressing....

    <--------dont you just love this pup? i want to mooosh him endlessly
    'tehehehehehe
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from maggieagnes. Show maggieagnes's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    Loved that, I often enclose a copy of this is Christmas cards after the death of someone

    I see the countless CHRISTMAS TREES around the world below

    with tiny lights like HEAVEN’S STARS reflecting on the snow.


    The sight is so SPECTACULAR please wipe away that tear
    for I
    am spending CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.

    I hear the many CHRISTMAS SONGS that people hold so dear
    but
    the SOUND OF MUSIC can't compare with the CHRISTMAS CHOIR up here.


    I have no words to tell you of the JOY their voices bring
    for
    it is beyond description to HEAR THE ANGELS SING.


    I know HOW MUCH YOU MISS ME, I see the pain inside your heart

    for I am spending CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.


    I can't tell you of the SPLENDOR or the PEACE here in this place

    Can you just imagine CHRISTMAS WITH OUR SAVIOR face to face


    I'll ask him to LIFT YOUR SPIRIT as I tell him of your love
    so
    then PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER as you lift your eyes above.


    Please let your HEARTS BE JOYFUL and let your SPIRIT SING
    for
    I am spending CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN and I’m walking WITH THE KING.


    ~ by Wanda Bencke
     Someone sent it to me when my dad died and it was very soothing

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from jdrotten. Show jdrotten's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    Sorry for your loss mikeg.  Thanks for posting that.

    BBB: I really know how you feel.  You aren't alone.  I'm scared about getting the phone call one of my parents has passed too.  My step-father, who's 84, just got out of the hospital not long ago.

    Jbar: I'm sorry about your brother :(
     
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  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from ItDoesntMatterWhatIThink. Show ItDoesntMatterWhatIThink's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    MikeyG & JBar,

    I'm so sorry for your respective losses. May you always find comfort in your loved ones memories.

    Thanks for the poem. It's beautiful.

    My best friend's mother unexpectedly passed away in December. It's been rought for her, and serves as a reminder we may have to say goodbye earlier than we'd ever imagined.

    That's one of the reasons I'm never shy with the "I love yous" anymore.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Nut-Shell. Show Nut-Shell's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    Thanks for your post and those of others.  I just lost my mom a couple of weeks ago and this comes at a perfect time.  I like to think that my Dad was waiting for her ship to arrive...
     
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    Re: Not to be depressing....

    In Response to Re: Not to be depressing....:
    I think Justcat said it when my Mom died.  Even if you are expecting it, it still hurts.  All you can do is tell them how you love them and hope that when the end does come, it is as they would have wanted. We read The Dash at my Mom's memorial service.  It was comforting. http://www.lindaslyrics.com/ I would post the actual poem - but it has a copywrite.  Click on 'the dash' in the upper right quadrant of the web site
    Posted by Corporate-Hippie-Chick


    So true CHC.  When my brother passed I got a condolence note from a colleague and it said "you can never be truly prepared for the passing of a loved one". 
     
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    In Response to Re: Not to be depressing....:
    Thanks for your post and those of others.  I just lost my mom a couple of weeks ago and this comes at a perfect time.  I like to think that my Dad was waiting for her ship to arrive...
    Posted by Nut-Shell


    Oh Nut-Shell, I'm so sorry.  You must just be reeling.  Take comfort whenever and wherever you find it.  I was surprised by the people who didn't support my family during our loss, but I was amazed and stunned by the outpouring of support and sympathy we received from the most unexpected sources.  The grace of some (what I had considered almost peripheral) people in our lives touched all of us deeply. 
     
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    Re: Not to be depressing....

    In Response to Re: Not to be depressing....:
    Thanks for your post and those of others.  I just lost my mom a couple of weeks ago and this comes at a perfect time.  I like to think that my Dad was waiting for her ship to arrive...
    Posted by Nut-Shell


    Nut-Shell, I'm sorry about your mom :-(
    Even when we can touch them no longer, we just have to feel them in a different way. Our loved ones are truly never far.
    May your heart heal well.
     
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    Re: Not to be depressing....

    It is true that you can never be prepared, but you can hold people in your heart and your mind for as long as you live. They may not be available here on earth, but they are still real and they exist because you love them and they loved you.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    Mike,

    That's a beautiful poem, indeed. Thank you for posting it. I've been re-reading in the time since you placed it here. It's now on my list of favorite poems, and one that forces me to think about some of the great matters of life.

    I'm sorry for the losses our LW friends have suffered. I know what it's like to lose someone you love, and my heart goes out to you.

    JBar wrote:

    "I was surprised by the people who didn't support my family during our loss, but I was amazed and stunned by the outpouring of support and sympathy we received from the most unexpected sources.  The grace of some (what I had considered almost peripheral) people in our lives touched all of us deeply."

    I had close friends run from my father's illness and passing. I had people I thought would be freaked out by death rise to the occassion - one of them sitting with my father in the hospital during one of his last days. Another one spent the day with me on the day before Dad's burial, as I did crazy things, like shop for clothing I didn't need.

    The friend who sat with Dad - his sister wrote this:

    "Your father will always be with you, because half of him is you."

    She was one of the "periphals" JBar mentions - and yet she wrote something loving that has carried me for more than 25 years now. Like JBar's peripherals, my friend's sister had grace. She was just a small child when her own father chose to leave this earth, so she had every right to run from another father's passing. But she and her brother (and her brother remained very angry with his father, even as he assisted my family) were my supports. When Mum passed, I had new friends, and new supports - many of them family and clinicians from hospice.

    My parents' housekeeper kept the house warm and well-lit while we were at the funeral for Dad. She prepared the table and had the coffee and tea on when we returned and other people filtered in. She wouldn't go home until she was assured that we could rest. She refused to be paid. There is great karma - she got her own needs met: she graduated from art school here, and works in France now, with a richness of life of her own. She looks like Edith Piaf in her loveliness.

    As JBar mentioned, sometimes it's the people we least expect to be the ones who are there for us. I remain grateful to all of them. A young man who sat with a near-elderly man dying of cancer - what a gift to the dying and living alike from that young man! I wish I could say his name here - he deserves to have his praises sung. Alas, worse than a violation of his privacy, it's just something he wouldn't want, he's modest and quiet in his heroism.

    Dad died on beautiful autumn day, but the day we buried him, the ground was hard, and a cold rain fell. One of my great aunts was loud and bossy. After reading Mike's poem, I like to think of Dad riding those gentle waves, to a new land. No-one bossy, no-one loud. Just surrounded by love and the kindness not of a vindicitive sea god, but a kind sea god, like the ones worshipped by the ancient Celts. Dad has now traveled "beyond the Ninth Wave." How glorious is that sea!

    Again, I am sorry for the losses suffered by our Love Letters Lovelies.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Nut-Shell. Show Nut-Shell's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and encouragement.  It's so true about those who surprise you with the right words and actions during your lowest moments.  I've had tremendous support from all of my family and friends, but one of the best notes I've received is from my ex husband.  Go figure...
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from bzorn22. Show bzorn22's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    JBar sorry about your brother and to all the rest of you with the losses you have had to bear. It has been both my blessing and my burden to be the one who plays those songs at family funerals. It helps me find the words. And I hope it helps the other family members also. The hardest part about getting older is saying goodbye to those who you hoped would never go.

    Blessings and prayers to all of you.

     
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    Re: Not to be depressing....

    Thank you, bzorn. And thank you for playing music at funerals. It means perhaps more than you can know. Music helps me feel and that helps me grieve and heal. I know it's hard to be the one playing, but I believe that that is a gift.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from katel. Show katel's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    That is a great quote! Grief is a rather unpleasant price to pay, but I gladly will pay it for the chance to love...
    I lost my sister, gosh, 14 years ago now on 4/25/1997 when I was 16 years old and she was 21. It is a pain that never goes away, but you do figure out how to manage. There are still days that I call "Sad Sarah" days, and then weeks that go by that I think of her only fleetingly...
    Thank you, Mike G, for the poem. My family owns a marina, and my sisters and I all grew up there and on boats. Love the imagery of that poem and it brings me lots of comfort. I'm sorry for your loss, and JBar, sorry for yours as well. Losing a sibling is a unique kind of pain. Zborn, thank you for providing music to funeral services. It provides tons of comfort and some great (? perhaps not the right descriptive...) memories for what are otherwise not-so-great days.
    I wish you all peace in whatever place you are at in your healing...
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from bzorn22. Show bzorn22's posts

    Re: Not to be depressing....

    What I think of most at these times is part of a poem that Bobby Kennedy quoted often by Aeschylus

    "In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God."


     
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