picking your battles

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    In Response to Re: picking your battles:
    [QUOTE]Listen, Ranger wears clean clothes with all required pieces.
    Posted by Lily-[/QUOTE]

    Who's Ranger?  Lily, did you go out and get more baggage?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from backbaybabe. Show backbaybabe's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    i have a friend that i know from back home, that would let her kids go to school in sweats everyday. not a problem in my opinion at all. but, what i found interesting was that she would NEVER let her kids go to school in those cloths if they werent IRONED.

    now isnt that weird? ironed sweat pants and tops????
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from backbaybabe. Show backbaybabe's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    does anyone remember granimals? do they still make them?
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from JeepersCripes. Show JeepersCripes's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    Ok in my defence lilz, it was only because his father was dressing him worse than a homeless person and it was hypocritical (yes I used THE word) because his father had custom suits made. He doesnt have to wear RL or whatever, but the sweaters shouldnt have holes in them and look like he pulled them out of a trash barrel.
     
  5. This post has been removed.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from JeepersCripes. Show JeepersCripes's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    Ranger is Lilz Jr. 
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from EnjoyEverySandwich. Show EnjoyEverySandwich's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    In Response to Re: picking your battles:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: picking your battles : HAHAHA  OK.  I laughed. It's a sore spot for me.  My aunts used to tell me that I was spoiling my son when he was a baby and would cry and I would comfort him.  My ex's wife - at least at first - judged me.  It's so freaking easy to judge the way others are doing the HARDEST job in the world.    And I hate when there are generalizations about what today's teenagers are like, since by and large the ones I know are just like we were but with more technology.  Anyone else remember how hard it was to be a teen, to try to fit in, to try to make our ways in the world?  I wouldn't relive those years for anything.  I could care less what my son wears as long as he's respectful and kind the majority of the time.  He is and his friends are.  They make me laugh when I spend time with them.  They call me "Mrs. Hyphen".  They say thank you.  They hold doors.  Most kids really are good kids.  No matter where their jeans sit on their butts.
    Posted by Lily-[/QUOTE]


    Lily-  To be a mom is to be judged.  It's stupid, and hurtful and ridiculous, but it seems to come with the territory.  Everyone has their own opinion on how kids should be raised, and no parent does absolutely everything the same as another parent.  Plus, parenthood (and in particular motherhood) is the one job that has absolutely no way of testing whether the choices we're making are right -- there's no way to hop into the future and check whether this preschool was really the best or whether you should have intevened (or not intervened) in some issue your kid has -- there's really (almost) nothing we do as moms that we can be 100% certain is the right move, because it's so hard to see all the possible consequences.

    Being a mom is the best best best job in the world, but it is also one of the toughest.

    If you didn't gather it already, I am a mom myself.  And I would never have gotten on your case for going to a crying baby.  Crying is the only way babies have to communicate -- ignoring them when they cry only teaches them that the world is an unsafe and unpredictable place where their communication counts for nothing.

    -- Sandwich out --

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from backbaybabe. Show backbaybabe's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    i think granimals were cute... too bad i was too old for them by that time.


    Jeeps, i  agree with the holes thingy... but how about holes that are purposefully made in jeans? are they ok? cuz that's the big rage, or at least was.
     
  9. This post has been removed.

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    I never had garanimals :/

    I did have a pair of sneakers that had LEFT and RIGHT on them, and I still managed to put each on the wrong foot.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from MrCorvin. Show MrCorvin's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    Lily, I don't think anyone is generalizing teenagers.

    We are curious at the parental choices. I wouldn't know your son unless you pointed at him and said "That's my son."

    We just are curious on what is going on in the parent's heads to come to that decision. Did they allow it without question, or not?  Do they even know?

    At the same time, for all we know your son dresses like a proper gentleman.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from bzorn22. Show bzorn22's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    As a parent you do have to stand your ground. It is your job and your reponsibility. If they don't like it then they can do different when they have kids. I tell mine that Dad isn't a title, it's a job description. It is one I volunteered for and one that never ends but somebody has to be in charge.

    Only fight the battles that have some real significance. The rest are usually immaterial so you can give ground there. But always do it grudgingly. You want the little spuds to think that they got away with something.
     
  13. This post has been removed.

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from backbaybabe. Show backbaybabe's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    In Response to Re: picking your battles:
    [QUOTE]As a parent you do have to stand your ground. It is your job and your reponsibility. If they don't like it then they can do different when they have kids. I tell mine that Dad isn't a title, it's a job description. It is one I volunteered for and one that never ends but somebody has to be in charge. Only fight the battles that have some real significance. The rest are usually immaterial so you can give ground there. But always do it grudgingly. You want the little spuds to think that they got away with something.
    Posted by bzorn22[/QUOTE]


    thank you Bzorn. i think that is where i was getting at re: battles...
    i guess parents chose the battles that have the most significance in how it applies to best guiding your children in life.
    i imagine all you parents out there have many many battles to pick and choose from. WOW!!!
    i just chose the cloths "battle" as i remember it was a battle that i always had at the beginning of every school year and NEVER won. and i see parents today still having that battle...
    i guess things dont change... tehehehehe
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from MoVa. Show MoVa's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    There are some clients that I actually have to counsel as to how they should dress while travelling. Usually it's related to just how to look presentable in European cities...you're not at the beach, quit with the big ugly white sneakers , you will be visiting churches, so no you can't wear shorts and tank tops....
    Yes, formal night on the cruise is at minimum a coat and tie.

    I've also seen jeans in court, at funerals.

    These are adults, not kids, so I am not surprised that kids are not getting the message that clothing should be appropriate for the situation.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from MrCorvin. Show MrCorvin's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    In Response to Re: picking your battles:
    [QUOTE]WOW!!! i just chose the cloths "battle" as i remember it was a battle that i always had at the beginning of every school year and NEVER won. and i see parents today still having that battle... i guess things dont change... tehehehehe
    Posted by backbaybabe[/QUOTE]

    At least there are parents that worry enough to still fight the battle if they feel it's necessary to fight the battle.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from two-sheds. Show two-sheds's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    This is an age old battle, as teenage kids rebel, and parents try to get their kids to behave the way they want. But, as far as this battle goes, I think you need to instill values in your kids when they are younger.  By the time they are a teenager, if they don't have good values, then you've got bigger issues than just the clothes.  If they do have good values, then I think they should be able to make their own choices about how they dress.

    The reality is, as far as how your teenage kid should dress, you are probably more likely to be wrong than your kid.  They are the ones in school.  They are the ones that know the cliques, the fashions, and what is and isn’t cool.  They are the ones trying to fit in.  Baggy pants hanging to the knees may make someone look like an idiot to you, but it’s not you your kids care about.   Rules about decency and cleanliness are necessary, but beyond that, I don't see anything wrong with letting your kids dress the way they want.

    There are going to be times as a parent where you can dictate appropriate dress (weddings, etc.), but I think most teenagers get that. 

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trigger11. Show Trigger11's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    I have this battle with their mother. I say, "Let kids be kids!" They should be able to wear comfortable clothes to play in. I can see if you are arguing about a pre-teen or teenage daughter wearing trampy clothes, but I don't believe children should have to be dressed up all day. There have been waaaaay too many times my minions have been brought to tears because they weren't allowed to play due to being in expensive, designer clothes. As each minion has gotten older, they have had more say as to what clothes are bought, but still have minimal say in what they can wear at any given time.

    I personally buy them whatever they want, within reason. Although technically, I buy them everything they end up with and have no say in 99% of those purchases.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Globereader444. Show Globereader444's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    Or moms who dress their kids in prosti-tot wear.

    Teens/parents into gansta wear... um, your kids have a solid future in corporate Boston... or...

    Hey wait, I'm not a parent, what am I doing here.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from PowerCord. Show PowerCord's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    I used to wear my pants around my knees and have my boxers showing, until I realized you can't run from the cops as fast.
     
  21. This post has been removed.

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from Archangel Michael. Show Archangel Michael's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    My parents picked the same battle every day.

    Ripped jeans were verboten.
    I was a Child of Grunge.

    There were daily cannonades and cavalry charges.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from ThatJneenGrrl. Show ThatJneenGrrl's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    I have been lucky in that my kids have never participated in the ho-a-thon.

    My younger daughter did have a single battle with me once - she had a pair of VERY high heels she wore to a dance once that I let slide because it was a special occasion, but she wanted to wear them to Easter dinner.  I told her Nana will have a heart attack, so no.

    She refused.

    I said, you can wear something else, or you can miss Easter dinner.

    She chose to miss Easter dinner.  And then she apologized to me when the rest of us got home.  I brought her leftovers and we sat at the table and talked.

    But mostly I just let them do what they see fit.  She has gone through spates of dying her hair candy apple red and all that.  She's the one who has to deal with the goofy school pictures when she's an adult :)  My son is in "it's not too cold for a tshirt and shorts" mode right now.  I have all I can do to get the kid to jam a sweatshirt into his backpack.  My landlord even mentioned it.  Goofy kid.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from bzorn22. Show bzorn22's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    Jneen,

    They are all that way. I am lucky that both my son and daughter were nerds and my main concern was them wearing official Star Trek or Star Wars shirts etc to school. I never cared much about that. My parents had it easy. They sent me to Catholic school so I either had to wear a uniform or a suit. But once I went to college it was the tye-died shirts and jeans with patches sewn on and headbands etc.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from MrCorvin. Show MrCorvin's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    I was your son in high school Jneen. I use to live on the Florida panhandle and would go to school in shorts and a T-shirt everyday. The Florida Panhandle actually gets cold. Yet at the same time it might be 30 during the morning, but at the afternoon it would be 60-70. I didn't see a point in being too warm in the daytime.
     

Share