picking your battles

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from myperspective. Show myperspective's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    no toy guns and only a half hour of tv a day. i freakin got mohawks and wore a jungle green sports jacket to school. 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from maggieagnes. Show maggieagnes's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    In Response to Re: picking your battles:
    Actually, what boggles me even more than teens wearing inappropriate clothing (that's part of the teen job description, no?) are PROFESIONALS making questionable clothing choices.  For example, the woman in front of me at Dunkins who was wearing a very nice pair of white pants and was clearly dressed well for her daily cubicle gig.  However... 1. Her pants were long and she was wear flip flops, which in and of itself is fine, but it meant her pant bottomes were dragging on the ground and getting dirty! 2. Her pants were unlined and she made the choice to wearing hot pink thong underwear, visible to all. I mean, ok, #1 could just be a caffeine challenged brain failure.  But the thongs???  Did you NOT look at yourself in the mirror???  Oh, and nothing about her suggested she wanted to dress provacatively.
    Posted by TwoCentDonation

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from maggieagnes. Show maggieagnes's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    In Response to Re: picking your battles:
    Actually, what boggles me even more than teens wearing inappropriate clothing (that's part of the teen job description, no?) are PROFESIONALS making questionable clothing choices.  For example, the woman in front of me at Dunkins who was wearing a very nice pair of white pants and was clearly dressed well for her daily cubicle gig.  However... 1. Her pants were long and she was wear flip flops, which in and of itself is fine, but it meant her pant bottomes were dragging on the ground and getting dirty! 2. Her pants were unlined and she made the choice to wearing hot pink thong underwear, visible to all. I mean, ok, #1 could just be a caffeine challenged brain failure.  But the thongs???  Did you NOT look at yourself in the mirror???  Oh, and nothing about her suggested she wanted to dress provacatively.
    Posted by TwoCentDonation

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from maggieagnes. Show maggieagnes's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    Oh Holy Moly! There is a faculty member at my child's high school who is easily into her 40's. She has a great little size nothing body but wears THE most inappropriate clothing. Low tops and thigh high boots, clingy outfits and skirts are UP TO THERE!!!!  I don't get it! I feel bad for her kids...embarrassing to say the least. one can only hope someone will address it soon. We live in a small enough town with some VERY small minded people....I would hate for her to be embarrassed, but I do not know her, just have seen her.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    I pick my battles.  My teen daughter wanted to where a crazy outfit in the dead of winter. I looked at her and started flipping out telling her she wouldn't be warm enough! Then I had an epiphany - I apologized to her and told her to wear anything she wanted. Soooooo, we go to this outdoor event, temp a ripe -10 degrees and guess what happens? She gets cold! and then it starts "can we go?" "I want to leave!" This is now my opportunity to ask her some questions - are you warm enough? Isn't it cold out? Are you going to wear that outfit again this winter?

    She figured it out at her own expense.  We never argued over something like that again. Lesson learned by her and me - pick my battles. Laughing
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from RogerTaylor. Show RogerTaylor's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    In Response to Re: picking your battles:
    Oh Holy Moly! There is a faculty member at my child's high school who is easily into her 40's. She has a great little size nothing body but wears THE most inappropriate clothing. Low tops and thigh high boots, clingy outfits and skirts are UP TO THERE!!!!  I don't get it! I feel bad for her kids...embarrassing to say the least. one can only hope someone will address it soon. We live in a small enough town with some VERY small minded people....I would hate for her to be embarrassed, but I do not know her, just have seen her.
    Posted by maggieagnes


    That's terrible!.......do you happen to have her name and number?????Wink
     
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  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from ygren. Show ygren's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    When my son was small, I picked his clothes. He generally picked out which ones he wanted to where on any given day.

    The battles we had were largely over what was weather-appropriate. I would not allow him to wear flip-flops & cargo shorts when it was below 20F.

    He likes jeans, he like t-shirts,  & he likes shorts now that he is 16. Now, if he wanted to wear flip-flops out in the snow I would not stop him - even if I did say that I thought he was dumb as a sack of hammers for doing so. The battles we have now come up when weddings and funerals creep into the schedule.

    School is not a problem. He chose the school. The school requires an Oxford button-down, tie and casual dress pants. He's not thrilled, but he loves his school and accepts that it is a trade-off.

    He is also involved in extra-curricular activities that require him to wear an actual dark suit. He is scathingly eloquent on the topic of the suit. But he wears it because it gets him something that he wants.

    I try to pick my battles so that his own enlightened self-interest does most of the fighting for me.

    This frees me up to fight the more meaningful ones. At my house I am by far less combative parent.  I make it about choices and consequences; cheer him on when his choices pay off; and help him all I can when his choices goes awry.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from MarketSurfer. Show MarketSurfer's posts

    Re: picking your battles

    BBB,

    you know that trading is a trade off, dividends for capital gains, = short term versus long term gains.  Think of parenting this way, and you will be more helpful in the long term.  Rule 1, as they get older, they get to pick more, and you get to suggest and approve more, versus dictate.  Rule 2, lead by example.  Rule 3, total restriction from one experience tends to create envy and the rebellious desire later.  Rule 4, to prevent the rebellious behavior later in life, allow everything / allow experiments sometime so that kids can always say, "Yeah, i did that, wasn't as exciting as the idea!"  Rule 5, in 15 years or so, the values you represent and teach will finally make sense.  They don't make sense right now to them, not until they are on their own.

    Finally, read this book, its EGGSELLENT!

    http://www.amazon.com/Life-First-Could-Drive-Cheryl/dp/0374528535/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1320231204&sr=1-1

    too busy to post very often, new job within the company.

    mahketsurfa
     
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