Signals that he's just not into you

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rintoo2. Show Rintoo2's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    I think a guy can give all the right signals in the beginning, if he wants something from you.  He might even say he wants a relationship, or that he loves you, but when he gets what he wants (usually sex-related) then he either gets bored or distracted or realizes he's not that into you.  The sleazy guys will not tell you this to your face, and will lie and then sneak behind your back.  But the honest guys, as much as it hurts to know you are not the right one for him (and he is not the right one for you) help you to move on.  At least, this is my experience.  I'd much rather have an honest guy who is not into me, than a liar.  :)  

    I think when a guy really is into you, and in it for the long haul, is clear when he likes you better without makeup, when you feel at your worst, he is there to support you, and when you are in crisis, he helps you without question.  Any guy on the street can like you for your looks, but when a guy sees your heart and wants to be with you no matter what, that is special.  I've had moments of this in my life, but no one person who loves me completely like that.  And maybe I haven't felt completely like that about anyone yet, either, though I like to think I have.  
     
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  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from WillDeerborn-of-Gilead. Show WillDeerborn-of-Gilead's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    In Response to Re: Signals that he's just not into you:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Signals that he's just not into you : _______________________________________________ What is a lame date anyhow?  Sometimes you try something and it doesn't turn out but you learn and can hopefully laugh about it.  This reminds me of a guy friend who told me that his ex girlfriend always wanted him to make the plans and then would get all pissy with him when she didn't like her food or similar like it was his fault. He is now happily married to someone else.
    Posted by Inter-Planet[/QUOTE]


    Reminds me of one of my exes (actually a few of them)

    Me: What do you want to do?
    She: I don't know, what do YOU want to do?
    Me: How about we do this?
    She: No I dont want to do that
    Me: How about we try that?
    She: No I dont want to do that
    Me: How about we go there?
    She: No I dont want to do that.
    Me: So what would YOU like to do then?
    She: I don't know, what do you want to do?
    Me: I just told you what I want to do and you dont want to do any of them so You'll have to choose something
    She: Why do I always have to be the one to decide what we do?
     
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  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from ThatJneenGrrl. Show ThatJneenGrrl's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    I can't for the life of me ever figure out why perfectly amazing dates, in which everything was firing on all cylinders, and they even said so -  even after you go back and pick them apart and can't find anything wrong - don't ever contact you again.

    It confuses me so much that I am unable to write a cohesive sentence about the experience.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Goldie31. Show Goldie31's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    Do you have a list of things that will tell you when a dude IS into you?
    ------------------
    You know because that thought doesn't even occur to you.
     
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  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from WillDeerborn-of-Gilead. Show WillDeerborn-of-Gilead's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    In response to Signals that he's just not into you:

    I can't for the life of me ever figure out why perfectly amazing dates, in which everything was firing on all cylinders, and they even said so -  even after you go back and pick them apart and can't find anything wrong - don't ever contact you again.

    It confuses me so much that I am unable to write a cohesive sentence about the experience.



    Did it ever occurr to you to call them? Maybe they never contacted you but you never contacted them either. It's trhe 21st century - you dont need to sit by the phone waiting for them to call. maybe he was waiting for you? I guess you just weren't into him since you didn't care enough to try to make something happen.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from MrCorvin. Show MrCorvin's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    In response to Signals that he's just not into you:

    This falls into the classic "I had a nice time, I'll call you..." category.

    It may simply be a numbers game.  You are only one of the contestants on his own version of the old Dating Game show.

    But, we guys can be weird like that.  Sure, we did have a good time.  And sure, everything looks good on paper that it should turn into more.  But, a lot of guys don't have the nerve to tell the truth on the spot - whatever that truth may be.  It's a bit of dysfunctional conflict avoidance.  I only had two situations like this, the first one I knew it wasn't working for me and was a mensch enough told her after dinner (strangely she seemed shocked because from her perspective "it went great").  The second situation we had two dates, which in many ways I had great fun, but after contemplation I knew it wasn't a good fit longterm.  I at least had the sack to call her to tell truth, which was the most inopportune dating related conversation I ever had - only because I dropped the bomb only a minute after she earnestly and sweetly said "I am so glad I met you..."   awwwwwkwarrrrd!

    As for what is in the minds of other guys, and why the disappearing act, who knows.  But I do know that those boys tend to "run" when they don't want an uncomfortable confrontation.



    This reminds me of the episode of Wings when Helen and Lowel went on a date. Helen was gushing about how awesome it was and Lowel was just like "Oh my god when will it end..."


     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from TheTinMan. Show TheTinMan's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    In response to Signals that he's just not into you:

    I can't for the life of me ever figure out why perfectly amazing dates, in which everything was firing on all cylinders, and they even said so -  even after you go back and pick them apart and can't find anything wrong - don't ever contact you again.

    It confuses me so much that I am unable to write a cohesive sentence about the experience.


    Here's why I never called one woman back--she never gave me her number.
    Got fixed up on a blind date by some friends, who did a double-date to introduce us.  Went OK, at least for me to be interested in a second date.  But she was rather "funny" when I asked things like "where do you live" ("in a house", etc).
    A couple weeks later I run into the mutual friends that introduced us, and I get told "she said you never called her." When I explained that she didn't give me her number (yes, I asked), they said they would talk to her and get us in touch.
    Somehow, the topic never came up again.
     
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  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    He's planning a wedding, but you're not the bride.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from ThatJneenGrrl. Show ThatJneenGrrl's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    In response to WillDeerborn-of-Gilead's comment:
    [QUOTE]



    Did it ever occurr to you to call them? Maybe they never contacted you but you never contacted them either. It's trhe 21st century - you dont need to sit by the phone waiting for them to call. maybe he was waiting for you? I guess you just weren't into him since you didn't care enough to try to make something happen.


    ~~~~~~

    Oh, Will.

    It is painfully obvious that you don't know me.

    And no, I didn't pester.  But I did initiate contact.  I don't play girl games.

    [/QUOTE]

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from ThatJneenGrrl. Show ThatJneenGrrl's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    And thank you Quetie.

    Usually I can tell if it's just not firing, but he was dropping certain phrases about compatibility and wanting to see me again that confused the issue.

    Oh, well.

    NEXT!
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Montyy. Show Montyy's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    In response to ThatJneenGrrl's comment:

    And thank you Quetie.

    Usually I can tell if it's just not firing, but he was dropping certain phrases about compatibility and wanting to see me again that confused the issue.

    Oh, well.

    NEXT!



    JNeen I triple hearts and notes you.   
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    MrCorvin said:

    This reminds me of the episode of Wings when Helen and Lowel went on a date. Helen was gushing about how awesome it was and Lowel was just like "Oh my god when will it end..."

    [/QUOTE]

    Thanks for reminding me of that moment - hilarious!  I loved the Lowel character.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    See today's letter for examples. 

    He's "too busy".
    He cancels. More than once.
    He doesn't reply to communications.
    There are no explanations. 

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from wizen. Show wizen's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    See today's letter for examples. 

    He's "too busy".
    He cancels. More than once.
    He doesn't reply to communications.
    There are no explanations. 

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sweetz10. Show Sweetz10's posts

    Re: Signals that he's just not into you

    Major sign - He's not making an effort. If you are doing the majority of the work then there is a serious problem. He's not into you and you need to stop seeing him. When a man is interested then he will do most if not all of the work. There won't be a question as to his interest or intentions.

     
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