Some Thoughts on The Blog

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from JazzyJtotheILL. Show JazzyJtotheILL's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    In Response to Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog:
    Sigh... Jeeps, I'm just talking here. The topic is thoughts on the blog. I'm giving my thoughts, same as you and everyone else here. DG, asked for a solution so that we don't just focus on the problem, which is a good idea, and I gave the best one I could with little time to think it over. You don't like it. That doesn't bother me. I know it's imperfect. I'm not trying to "control the blog." I knew what it was like when I started commenting, as I said I lurked for two years reading well into OT every day. I'm just giving my two cents. That's it.
    Posted by Butterflyz

    Thank you for all your thoughts today and your positive intentions Butterflyz. Way to try to control the blog ;) 

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from user_4376881. Show user_4376881's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    Wait, Sally, I think that came across a completely different way than I intended it.  Let's just forget that ever happened.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trigger11. Show Trigger11's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    Too Sexxy said, "But the argument that we need to "protect the children" doesn't really square up with reality." That doesn't excuse us from just posting a bunch of vulgar nonsense though!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from EnjoyEverySandwich. Show EnjoyEverySandwich's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    In Response to Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog:
    In Response to Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog : I'm sorry. Did you see her mug shot?
    Posted by reindeergirl



    Yep, plus the sad news that she and the surgeon divorced 3 years ago.  However, I failed to find any connection between her and Marilyn Chambers.  ;)



    I'm walkin' with a limp now that I've had one of my legs pulled.
     
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  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from BDCMod1. Show BDCMod1's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    I'm back. Can't say I read every word, but I did scan the whole thread, and didn't see what I was asked to come in here and look for. Maybe it was already reported and removed, I wouldn't know. Seems like a reasonable discussion up to now, if not particularly enlightening. In the past I have occasionally removed threads like these -- but those were dripping with nastiness and hurt feelings. so it seemed best, after people let off steam, to remove the thread as a source of future conflict. With this one, I don't see a problem.

       Only a couple things I want to comment on:

       Look, I know LL is mild compared to some other web forums. But so what? Boston.com is not Barstoolsports, and it's not an X-rated sex site. We're never going to be, and there's no point in trying to push LL in that direction. You're just going to get shut down. And banned. And treated like a troll. If you want rough trade, go get it. Just not here.

       We have local rules. You clicked that you agree to the rules when you created a screen name, and there's a link to those rules at the bottom of every comment box you open. There's no point in pretending that BDC is unclear or that you don't know.

       What I think is unique and special about LL is that it grew into a real community. It started as an advice blog with a fairly small number of pre-moderated comments and grew into a free-wheeling chat room where people interact with each other, and then it moved out into real-life friendships (and enemies). I don't know where else that kind of thing has happened to this extent.

        But part of what's special is that anybody could wander in here at anytime. We don't have an "age wall" around the blog. Your 13-year-old niece, or your 8-year-old son, could read what you're writing. What would you want them exposed to -- a 35-year-old man talking about his penis?
    Give me a break.

        In fact I remember the day a new user showed up and started interacting with people, very disapprovingly. She said she came in to check out what her pre-teen daughter had been reading, and was appalled by it. I also remember when an Asian reader was reduced to tears by a casual remark that she considered a racial slur. And then there was the LL regular who let himself get caught up in a hot and heavy sexual fantasy with someone in the forums, then wrote in the next day and said his employer had been monitoring his computer and fired him. You may think it's all fun and games, but there are real consequences.

       Every one of these incidents has inclined me to be tougher on what we allow here. But no moderation process is ever going to be perfect. It doesn't matter if the mods are sitting in the Globe newsroom or in Bangladesh. They only see the abuse reports in front of them, not the comment that is exactly the same but didn't get reported. And they are never going to understand the context of a blog like LL, where you said something rude or dirty to somebody, but, hey, that's your friend and they get it. Well, the mods don't. And other people reading don't. They're not stupid for not getting it, they're just not able to read your mind. All they can do is look at what's in the comment in front of them and judge whether it violates our posting policy.

       OK, off the soapbox. It's my weekend.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from reindeergirl. Show reindeergirl's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    What I think is unique and special about LL is that it grew into a real community. It started as an advice blog with a fairly small number of pre-moderated comments and grew into a free-wheeling chat room where people interact with each other, and then it moved out into real-life friendships (and enemies). I don't know where else that kind of thing has happened to this extent.
    ----

    Confidential Chat in its heyday, in the print edition. Unfortunately, many of the Chat regulars couldn't make the transition to online.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from McBostonrob. Show McBostonrob's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    In Response to Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog:
    And then there was the LL regular who let himself get caught up in a hot and heavy sexual fantasy with someone in the forums, then wrote in the next day and said his employer had been monitoring his computer and fired him.
    Posted by BDCMod1


    I sure scolded them.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from JazzyJtotheILL. Show JazzyJtotheILL's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    I like how Henny says this thread was long overdue. I agree but it's only a small sampling of the LL group. Most of the people who have been targeted for having different opinions aren't here to say their peice. So while I just sadly read the whole thread, on a Friday night, and I do think it was pretty productive, I'd like to hear what some others have to say and then see how the same people who are commenting on this thread now, feel then. 

    Personally I don't have the bandwidth nor energy to invest my heart and soul into this blog like I used to LOL...so I could really care less about anyone hearing my thoughts on here but I do think it would be worth some others' time to hear what the people who report abuse REALLY think..but then again, they'd probably state their claim and be ridiculed for it, thus needing an abuse button here too. 

    Just because a small group of people decide to agree (on anything), doesn't mean they speak for the entire group. 

    But, I love bunnies and spray tanning.. (ugh it's so nasty don't try it)

    Have a good weekend folks, I'll be standing on the dugout in Fenway, freezing my butt off.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from user_4376881. Show user_4376881's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    Mod,

    Thanks for taking the time to write your insight.

    I just have a couple of thoughts, don't construe this as picking on you, I just want to open it up for discussion.

    The member FAQ says:

    "You must be 13 years or older to use or subscribe to all parts of the Services".

    I'm going to be kind of curt here and say that people on the Internet (us) can't be held responsible for bad parenting in the form of not knowing what the hell their kids are doing on the internet such that they let an 8-year-old or even a 13-year-old read this forum.  On the flip side, I do get that it's hard to control that kind of thing on your end too.  13 is a bit young though for membership requirements -- I'm surprised, I thought it was 16 or even 18.

    And as for the gentleman getting fired, it's difficult for me to feel sorry for him because he obviously did not adhere to his Acceptable Use Policy which nearly 100% of large companies do now, which specifically prohibits things like "browsing sites for sexual content".

    So I didn't post this to refute you specifically, I just don't think that the onus is completely on the posters alone here.  I don't think that's very fair, to be quite honest.
     
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  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from JazzyJtotheILL. Show JazzyJtotheILL's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    In Response to Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog:
    I think this is productive too, like a phlegmy cough. It sucks coming up but at least you know you're getting it out.
    Posted by Sally-


    I think your face is pretty productive Salls... I miss it. I feel like we never talk :(
     
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  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from user_4376881. Show user_4376881's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    In Response to Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog:
    Just because a small group of people decide to agree (on anything), doesn't mean they speak for the entire group.  --- ^^ That.
    Posted by Sally-


    Yeah but I don't think that's what's happening here, is it?  Maybe I don't see it.  Help me, I have no college degree!!
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from McBostonrob. Show McBostonrob's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    Oh my god we have this same conversation every few months.  I'd love to know how it's productive.  It isn't!  We all just like to touch ourselves. 
     
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  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from user_4376881. Show user_4376881's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    I have absolutely nothing to say.

    LOUD NOISES!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from DryHumor. Show DryHumor's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    In Response to Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog:
    I thought the Rooster was a bully but I still laughed because it was creative. Wrong but creative. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Still, I wish he'd peckr back here and apologize to poor DaveH who probably has an irrational fear of poultry at this point.
    Posted by Sally-

    Maybe those are the kinds of abuse and badgering that they were talking about earlier. I watched that and to be honest I would not have put up with it myself. I think that Daveh was a little too sensitive and in some respects brought some of the criticism he got on himself. But the rooster (whoever it was) crossed that line that was being discussed earlier. I don't blame him for leaving after that.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Butterflyz. Show Butterflyz's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    I'm a little unclear on a point...do moderators *only* remove a post that's been flagged by a user?? They don't just follow along looking for things that violate the policy? It would seem that they would have to, if they're not that's certainly a good reason for the inconsistency. If they do, then consistency to the degree possible by humans, ought not to be an outlandish expectation. Meredith said in chat she/BDC was trying to explain this place to the moderators to get a more reasonable policy in place. I don't know if that's true or to what extent it'll be seriously worked on.

    In terms of age wall thing...the content of the letters themselves, even if you only read the letter and response, they're often not on topics I'd want my 13 year old reading. I agree with porkchop that that's on the parents. 

    I don't know to what extent these conversations are productive in the sense of producing actual change, but I do think they can be an important vent especially when they're as respectful as today's was. BTW, thanks Jazzy :)
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from Right Said Ed. Show Right Said Ed's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    I found BDCMod1's latest post to be thoughtful, and enjoyed the explanation of the limitations of outsourced comment moderation. I did want to address this statement:

    But part of what's special is that anybody could wander in here at anytime. We don't have an "age wall" around the blog. Your 13-year-old niece, or your 8-year-old son, could read what you're writing. What would you want them exposed to -- a 35-year-old man talking about his (removed)?
    Give me a break.

    There is no "age wall" just about anywhere on the internets, or on teevee either. When my daughters were between the ages of 8-13, we were vigilant in monitoring their media use, and worked hard to educate them to become media literate. We always knew that they were likely to come across objectionable material from time to time, just as we did when we were younger (Fanny Hill was written several hundred years ago, last I checked). 

    A "35-year-old man talking about his (removed)"? Ha! The other night, New Girl must have made 200 references to the male member in 22 minutes of screen time. How I Met Your Mother is one long string of sex jokes couched as a cutesy, family-esque comedy. Local news is a minefield of rape/sexual assault stories.  Degrassi and other shows on Nickelodeon are nothing more than soap operas that exploit the young characters through horrific storylines.

    The idea that BDC should be overly sensitive and less permissive than these (and other) outlets that attract a significant youth audience share is more than a bit puzzling.  BDC/Love Letters may have a few teen (or younger) readers here or there, but all of those kids can find hardcore materials just a few clicks away if they want to.  BDC is certainly not contributing to the delinquency of anyone by allowing adults to interact with adults.

    Of course, the company can (and has, and will) choose to protect its brand through restrictions and limitations on the acceptability of user-generated content. It's your company, do what you need to do. But the argument that we need to "protect the children" doesn't really square up with reality.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from two-sheds. Show two-sheds's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    Interesting discussion.  I don't know what I can add other than some days I feel like acting like Rodney King crying "Why can't we all just get along?"
     
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  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from user_4376881. Show user_4376881's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    Trigger, I think you need to log out and log back into BDC a few times to get back to "the now" - I'm not even kidding you on that. 
     
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