Some Thoughts on The Blog

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Butterflyz. Show Butterflyz's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    Oh, I agree. I think everyone's been attacked by somebody on here at some point or another, and I don't expect to be defended and don't care if I am or not. I was just saying that not all bad behavior is indeed called out by the regulars here and there is some bias in when someone will or not. It's normal. I also agree though that the defense often does become abusive in return which does just inflame the situation.
     
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  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    CHC wrote:
    Normal society reaction when someone finds your comments offensive:
    'I'm sorry'.  [Explain misunderstanding, make amends, or stop offensive behavior]

    Love Letters reaction:
    IT MUST BE YOU.  I'M NOT CHANGING.  GO AWAY
    ...
    Porkchop - a community isn't ruled by a committe of one.

    ***

    The internet, while part of society, isn't the same as face-to-face interactions.  The overall 'net culture evolved as a subculture with its own rules.  In general, I've found 'net culture to be faster, looser, and edgier than mainstream culture.  So there is much more snark and macho-esque ranking on each other on the internet than in offline life.  When those who aren't as immersed in online life come online a clash erupts between those who are accustomed to snarking and those who expect a more genteel interaction.

    Like Diamond, I've been part of various online communities over the years, as early as 1995-ish.  Each community has its own culture.  I was part of two newsgroups that were quite different.  One was unfailingly polite, and at times annoyingly sunny, so obviously internet snark isn't omnipresent on the web.  But the other group was a bit more like LL - snarkier and more rambunctious.  Each group worked, and over time the culture changed as newcomers came on board.

    Having said that, CHC, I have noticed that some of the very same people who complain about rudeness are rude to others, whether intentional or not, and when called out on it they respond with the "It must be you, I'm not changing" attitude that you mentioned.  It's human to get defensive, but it would be nice if people could be more objective about their actions when criticzed and say, "Yes, you're right, I can see how that would be offensive," whether the criticized action is being too condescending and classist, too overtly sexual, too crude, too harsh, whatever.  And, I say this respectfully, you are one of the people who has been called out on the blog for the way you've said things, but gotten defensive.

    Finally, your statement that a community is ruled by a committee of one is quite true.  I do NOT see that happening on the blog - I don't see any one person having nearly full sway over the blog.  I do, however, see individuals trying to get everyone else to conform the same level of taste, humor, grammatical expertise, etc.  And, not surprisingly, such attempts are mocked and shot down.

    Expanding on that idea, I think it is too much to expect that everyone will stop with the snark/sexual jokes/whatever just because a few ask them to.  There are times when I don't care for what's being discussed on the blog, and yes, at times, the sex talk is over the line wrt my corporate employer's policies.  When that happens I do not expect everyone to stop what they're doing just so I am happy.  Instead, I go someplace else.  This is similar to issues around censorship.  Do we make all TV shows family friendly by FCC regulation/law?  Or do we expect parents and individual viewers to take responsibility for themselves and their families by turning off the TV or changing the channel?
     
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  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trigger11. Show Trigger11's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    In Response to Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog:
    [QUOTE]Trigger, anything I've said on LL to you (or anyone else) I'd say to their face. I've also reported comments that were never removed.  There's no rhyme or reason.  Don't assume it's all "favoritism".  It's not.  I've had harmless comments removed. 
    Posted by Lily-[/QUOTE]

    I wasn't referring to you or even my place in here and I respect that about people (and you) anyway (speaking their mind, especially to their face if necessary). It's "other" stuff. But never mind.

    Yeah, I am not implying favoritism, I was just curious when I saw the same exact three-letter post sitting there when mine was removed. It is a difficult thing about this place that it is inconsistent. Didn’t think either should be removed, but am not surprised when al lot of stuff does because it gets nasty at times and some just push the moderators’ buttons.

     
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  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    My general rule regarding defense is that I will speak when 1. I feel that one of the people is genuinely totally misunderstanding a point, and that they would not be fighting if it were clarified, or 2. when someone gets too personally upset to have any perspective.

    Other than that, I assume everyone can handle themselves and stay out of it to avoid turf war, like you said.  :) 
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    Once I realized I should have taken it as such, Z, GothBotrix was born.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trigger11. Show Trigger11's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    In Response to Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog : Some advice *really* sticks with me.
    Posted by Lily-[/QUOTE]

    That one hits home! While I apologize for bringing the blog down at times, I have definitely taken to heart a lot of good insight from its members.
     
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  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trigger11. Show Trigger11's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    Seriously, this place is pretty tame. I have been on many forums full of socially inept Aspies and others with little-to-no social acumen and believe me, it can get way worse. The difference here is that it is a company’s website, not a private forum, so they have to keep it relatively clean.

     
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    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    I love Jeepers-Cripes!!!
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trigger11. Show Trigger11's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    I have always thought of this place as more Middle School. Some of the antics are borderline Elementary School, but for the most part are the type of stuff from Middle School with a small amount of High School cliques.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trigger11. Show Trigger11's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    Wait a minute! Who doesn't like Jeepers-Cripes?
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trigger11. Show Trigger11's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    I have an overactive imagination. If only I had posted my LL Soap Opera that night you guys were cavorting together a weekend before I was coming to town. I don't know if there would be outrage or if it was found to be funny.

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trigger11. Show Trigger11's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    What's mac-n-cheese?
     
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  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from JeepersCripes. Show JeepersCripes's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    Seanz, you know I adore you and in the past, I would have agreed with you as there were a couple posters that couldnt get comments removed if they threatened a cluckerjihad.

    But, our MOD, doesnt follow this anymore. I think he popped in because people were complaining to him about the time stamp thing. He doesnt remove comments. Which is why, I think it seems much more random now about what gets removed and what doesnt. At least before, it was pretty consistent. Now, its hit or miss. One person says something, its removed, someone else says the same thing, and it stays.
     
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  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    They rarely remove anything I report.  I have no idea why.  (shrug) 

    CHC wrote;
    "My experience every time I've met LL individuals in person is drama."

    I thought we had a nice time out drinking drinks with Montyy that one time. 
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from DryHumor. Show DryHumor's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    Well since everyone seems to be chiming in I might as well also. I have lurked for a long time until recently and have gotten a chance to sit back and watch. A few observations: For the most part I think people on here are relatively nice, sometimes hilarious, fun and to a certain extent cool. I have also watched as people have been attacked, made fun of, abused and chastised by that same group of people (sometimes using sockpuppets or "fake names" ) to do so. It's one thing to disagree with someone or to call them out for whatever reason. It is entirerly inappropriate in my mind to  badger someone with posts directed at them that are intentionally mean. The sexual innuendo and story telling in my opinon is generally mild but does tend to go overboard as well. I don't know for certain who the "cool kids" are on here, although I have my ideas, but if you want this blog to be someplace that most people can enjoy you have to take responsibility for policing your own watch so to speak. I am sure this will not endear me to some of you but I believe my points to be valid.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trigger11. Show Trigger11's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    In Response to Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog:
    [QUOTE]Trigger:  I think some of your posts are somewhat referring to me, and I know you (and others) think I've been hard on you.  I probably have been, but I can't say I apologize for it because I think that whatever advice or guidance I've given you was somewhat useful to you, by your own admission even. It's also the same way I'd give advice if it were in person.  Jokes and sarcasm are hard to decipher online, yeah.  That's been beaten to death over and over again.  But those things are just part of who I am and what I do.  People are always free to ignore me, and that includes you if you don't find anything I say to be useful, or if you feel I'm picking on you. To be fair though, I pick on everyone and they pick on me back -- and that does go for you too.  For the record, I don't consider you a detractor here.
    Posted by Porkchop-[/QUOTE]
      

    Dude, I really don’t have any issue with you. I actually wasn’t referring to you, but honestly I am picking up some of the other people’s comments and feel they are referring to you based upon my observations of this place. You are harsh, blunt, and I am assuming honest. No problem with that. I don’t see you as one who is pushing the vulgarity buttons though. I hate it when people beat around the bush and don’t just speak their mind. That leads to more problems than the other way around in my opinion.

     

    Yes, you could get your same points across without flaming a person, as could others. If that isn’t your style, so be it. But by maintaining that mantra you will alienate yourself from others and that point you are trying to make will get lost, even when it is a very valid point. If you don’t care, again, so be it. Just don’t be surpised when you upset people (not me) for it.

     

    I am just as guilty about not being good at communication. Although, outside of my marriage discussions (and religion, politics, and the environment), whenever I appeared to fly off the handle or acted absurdly weird I was just playing a part. Something I learned as a defense mechanism.

     

    Not to gain sympathy or anything else, but I was picked on a lot as a young kid and even up onto college. I learned to defend myself and others who were also being picked on. This is probably why I am a bleeding heart liberal despite my economic and implied social standing. Speaking up and defending yourself can be a good quality. But I also know it can be detrimental. As it has been here, when conclusions are reached and things get implied or taken out context.

     

    I still think that I am very much misunderstood on here. Some have tuned me out, so fine. As annoying as it can be, such is life. Like Jeepers-Cripes states, I play my part as well. I am not comfortable being in any other position as I have been playing the self-loathing annoying brat or whatever for so long. I don’t make friends easily, so it is better to just be the outcast. I’ve said it before, but I do sabotage relationships. It’s just easier as I have always had people turn on me in the end anyway. Probably all my fault anyway as I am blunt and speak my mind and lack the social acumen to properly handle many situations. That is outside of a couple of really good, close friends mind you.

     

    I know who I am. I know my faults. I do try to work on them, but unfortunately I am only human (so the DNA says).

     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Archangel Michael. Show Archangel Michael's posts

    Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog

    As I've said a couple of times, I'm a long-time veteran of gaming forums.  I have moderated and adminstered such forums.

    This place, even at its worst, is a preschool environment compared to most of the places I've been.  I lurked here for two years before I posted, and with the exception of a few instances, I've never seen actual bullying here.  The "flame wars" here are mild.  I believe this is a combination of regulation (although it is REALLY heavy handed these days) and the fact that the community does self police.  There are subjects that come up that don't please everyone all the time.  Rather than demand we have no fun, do what Zep and DG and others have said; close your browser, come back in an hour.
     
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