Re: Some Thoughts on The Blog
posted at 11/5/2011 9:37 AM EDT
Hi Lily... today's the big fenway wedding and it's gonna be cold as schnit out but checking in before I head off for the day ..
I agree we should be careful of the word bullying.. BUT, quite honestly.. I think that's up to the "victim" of the bullying.
Personally - when I first started commenting on this blog (you weren't even a regular back then) I had said something that set EVERYONE off (oh hai, Meredith) and then people jumped all over me. ALL over me. I personally put a face to a "Screen name".. it's like animals - I can't eat it if it's been named. I think that's pretty darn common. So when regulars started flipping out on me and saying nasty things, I felt immediately defensive and started flame throwing myself (isn't that a natural response). I let it get to the point where Mr. Jazz would have to come pick me up after work because I was so upset I didn't want to get on the train, I didn't want to be home alone, I didn't want to be in my car and have the ability to train wreck it. He thought "woah, where did my girlfriend go and who's this crazy chic that took over her body??"
As sad as it sounds - sometimes these blogs DO push people over the edge, because yes, people have so much going on in their own personal lives that one more thing is just the one more thing needed to push them. Does it really absolve PEOPLE, HUMAN BEINGS from being responsible for their own actions, their own words, just because someone is already that close to the edge???
Do I think that we create bigger issues than need be? Yes, I do. But two years ago I was in a place that was very unsettling, very depressing.. I came on the blog and after getting into it (i hold my own responsibility for this too, I am in no way "innocent" here) with the others.. I honestly had some really really bad thoughts in my head. I turned into a different person. Fortunately I have a very supportive system behind me and they were able to help me see that a blog was not worth it. Do I think it's stupid now? Of course I do, but I wasn't in a good frame of mind to begin with, so I couldn't see clearly. Guess what? That happens more than we think it does.
My point is - bullying can't really be defined by those on the side of the offending. Much like most things - it's perspective. If I think I'm being bullied, and I've expressed this and asked for it to stop but it does not, then yes I'm being bullied.
At the end of the day - would you (general you) think it was ok to be sitting in a room full of people shouting obscenities at you, calling you fat, ugly, an idiot, moron, etc.. but because they have masks on - it doesn't make them "people". it doesn't make it as hurtful.
People use the internet as their means to be angry and mean because they won't necessarily do it in person. Most people here - in person are all "angels".. very very nice people. But on the internet - not a chance.
I don't know. I can appreciate everyone's point of views here..and I'm quite good friends with a lot of people on here now, funny thing - especially those that I was getting into it with at first.
But I think it's very important to at least be aware that what you say can affect people in different ways. I'm not saying to change, just be aware and be a little more sensitive to it.
thats all :)