Texting issues

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  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from bzorn22. Show bzorn22's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    I don't know if it is appropriate or not but it seems like a great deal of unnecessary work and one that, absence voice tone, runs a good chance of being misunderstood. I figure after 3 tags your it, if you have anything more to say make a call.

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Jim-in-Littleton. Show Jim-in-Littleton's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    Having a discussion would completely depend on several circumstances.  I could see it happening if the two people are texting in between doing something else (i.e riding in a cab to the airport, checking in, going to gate, boarding plane...  you might be better off texting than phoning...).  But those are fairly rare circumstances.  I'd say that for the average person, CHC's 3 text rule is probably a pretty good guideline.

    As far as having an argument...  why would ANYONE do that?  Anyone that has texted more than 3 or 4 times in their life knows how easy it is to misread something sent in short text blurbs.  I see no point in having an argument via text unless the entire intent is to end the relationship completely.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from jdrotten. Show jdrotten's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    In Response to Re: Texting issues:
    [QUOTE]I think you need more choices. Text discussion is fine if you are deciding where to go for dinner or something equally non controversial. As soon as emotions get involved, it's time to pick up the phone.  Every sentence has the potential for miscommunication. A good guideline is 3 texts on each side for a particular topic, if it isn't resolved, pick up the phone. I've broken this guideline (of course.  I can be a wimp just like anyone else).  It always ended badly.
    Posted by Corporate-Hippie-Chick[/QUOTE]

    I agree, as soon as emotions get involved it's time to pick up the phone.  It's just way to easy to misconstrue a text. 
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from miscricket. Show miscricket's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    I think it's best to have discussions and or arguments either face to face or on the phone as opposed to electronic communication. It's so easy to misinterpret tone on texts or e-mails for that matter. I have a hard time interpreting tone on e-mails and texts and have a tendency to misinterpret things in the worst possible light..unless the message is clear. Sending short texts to say hi or let the person know you're thinking about them is one thing...but having discussions or arguments is treading on dangerous ground.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from jkjband. Show jkjband's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    I think if the argument was heated, I would become frustrated by the process of sending , waiting, sending, waiting.... until that this would start to get me even more pissed .... which can't be good

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from justcat. Show justcat's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    But I have broken up with guys via e-mail before...
     
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  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    We actually do better fighting over email.  That way we can lay our points out for rational consideration.

    In person, he comes off as arrogant and dismissive when he is angry, and I come off as haughty and judgemental.  So it is much easier for us to read each other's hearts without our facades cluttering up the ideas.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from hsmbs. Show hsmbs's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    I have a Blackberry with very small keys and am constantly typing mistakes.  Why not pick up the phone and call?  SO much easier.
     
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  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from McBostonrob. Show McBostonrob's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    I assume you're talking about two people who are in a relationship?  If so, then probably not texting, but I agree with what DG said - email can be more effective than discussions for some people.  
    But, FWIW, I'm pretty sure texting can be very effective for people who hate each other, but who are forced to communicate, for example people going through a divorce.  The character limits won't preclude insults, but they do force people to stay on point.  
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from ItDoesntMatterWhatIThink. Show ItDoesntMatterWhatIThink's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    In your situation, the only problem with picking up the phone and calling someone....

    Is that they're (potentially) mad at you.

    I, personally, shut down a little when I get into a "argument..."
    I'm not going to want to hear your voice on the other end of the phone for a little while.

    Also... picking up the phone doesn't guarantee there won't be any misunderstandings. One might argue the other way, that since it's in a text you can prove, "I never said that..." but once you're in a full blown verbal spar, you hear things all over the place that simply may not be there.

    Let's deal with this in person.

    Just discussions, however, I don't see the point in texting back and forth a million times, unless you're just having fun, or it's not appropriate to talk. I don't prefer talking on the phone that much either, though. I'm a face to face person.
    If you can't physically see someone, but you care about how they're doing... I think any form of communication is better than none. :-)

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from AlyssaJones. Show AlyssaJones's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    Hi JPW...

    I would never have a serious conversation or argument over text... or IM for that matter.  I was recently having an emotional conversation with someone that started over IM, and I hated it.  Its the kind of thing I would want to say in person.  
    I agree that a phone call at the very least is most appropriate, although email can be quite effective, also, like the lovely DG said.  I can get a bit emotional in an argument and forget to say things that I wanted to say, or say things I don't really mean.  
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from ItDoesntMatterWhatIThink. Show ItDoesntMatterWhatIThink's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    In Response to Re: Texting issues:
    [QUOTE]I thank everyone for your responses.  Without giving too much detail, let's just say this has been a problem that I've tried to put a stop to.  It hasn't sat right with me at all to have a barrage of upset text messages come at me without the other person waiting for me to respond.  It is completely frustrating and inappropriate.  If this person has a lot to say but doesn't want to talk to me, I'd prefer an email.  Thanks again, all.  I'd still be interested in more responses, just to see what other people think regardless if they agree or not.  You all rock! 
    Posted by JPWisdom[/QUOTE]

    THAT is certainly not cool.....
    I don't like the flux of text messages coming at you like an attack where you aren't equipped with an equal weapon.

    Sorry you have to deal with that - I think you're well within your boundaries to request an email in lieu of 8,212 SMS texts.

    "Short message service" not "tell me how you really feel"
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    "It hasn't sat right with me at all to have a barrage of upset text messages come at me without the other person waiting for me to respond.  It is completely frustrating and inappropriate."

    I hate this.  For what it is worth, someone told me that with a smartphone, texting is more like instant messaging, and people with smartphones tend to forget that the rest of us don't see the messages scroll onto the screen as a text.  They come up as repeated, interrupty text messages that frustrate every attempt to reply. 

    I would ask for a real email.  Or a chat.  Because that sounds very irritating.
     
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  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from Jim-in-Littleton. Show Jim-in-Littleton's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    In Response to Re: Texting issues:
    [QUOTE] For what it is worth, someone told me that with a smartphone, texting is more like instant messaging, and people with smartphones tend to forget that the rest of us don't see the messages scroll onto the screen as a text.  They come up as repeated, interrupty text messages that frustrate every attempt to reply. Posted by diamondgirl[/QUOTE]

    I can't speak to all Smartphones but I switched to one a month or two ago and there is absolutely no difference in texting between what I have now and the two previous phones I've had.  When I get a text in it doesn't scroll and if another one comes in while I'm trying to reply I still get interrupted.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Another-Veronica. Show Another-Veronica's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    Too late to get in on this? 

    Texting is so convenient in many situations but definitely not for arguing or debating. I agree with Ms. Diamondgirl regarding e-mail.  One can be very clear on what they have to say & can take time to think about wording things carefully before sending.  Also one can insert emoticons which makes a difference for certain conversations.

    The guy I've been seeing (or was) is much more expressive on-line via instant messenger than he is in person so that works for us when we are discussing or debating on an intense topic.  I prefer face-to-face but I can compromise if it's easier for him.

    It really depends on the couple.  What works for one couple doesn't mean it'll work for another but texting during a serious conversation?  100% not.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from redwolf68. Show redwolf68's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    In Response to Re: Texting issues:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Texting issues : I can't speak to all Smartphones but I switched to one a month or two ago and there is absolutely no difference in texting between what I have now and the two previous phones I've had.  When I get a text in it doesn't scroll and if another one comes in while I'm trying to reply I still get interrupted.
    Posted by Jim-in-Littleton[/QUOTE]

    Jim, that happens to me, too.  I have a Samsung Messager through MetroPCS, and it irks me no end when I'm trying to respond to a text and get hit with another one when I've barely got a response going.  My wife does this to me - especially when she wants to tell me about her day (text-bombing idea after idea at me - one day it got so crazy I texted back, "Say, don't you have work to do?!"  She got it, and laid off for the rest of the day).  It was worse when I still was using my last phone, a Motorola Razr on AT&T; texting a response was incredibly cumbersome and awkward.

    We keep it to civil discussions in text and, usually, in e-mail.  If we have some issue that's precipitating an argument, we try to handle it face-to-face.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: Texting issues

    I knew there was more to it than your original question.....

    NO, it's not okay to receive a barrage of nasty text messages, especially if he doesn't give you a chance to respond before sending the next 10.  That's not arguing, that's being aggressive. 

    Take your power back.  Send him a text that says "I'm not going to respond.  If you want to discuss this, call me at XX p.m." and then shut your phone off.

    Don't let yourself be a victim to this nonsense. 
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from Another-Veronica. Show Another-Veronica's posts

    Re: Texting issues


    Excellent advice cosmogirl.
     
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