To Ring or not to Ring (part deux)

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from two-sheds. Show two-sheds's posts

    To Ring or not to Ring (part deux)

    Sorry, let's try this again.  (With a poll this time)

    I think we all agree that today's LW needs to sit down with her BF and figure out their budget.  Should the ring be part of this discussion?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from TwoCentDonation. Show TwoCentDonation's posts

    Re: To Ring or not to Ring (part deux)

    I voted "Yes," but it has a number of assumptions about it.  The biggest one being that they have seriously discussed buying a ring.  If that's the case, then she could let him that it can wait by saying, "I don't know if you've been worrying about this, but I don't want you to worry so I wanted to let you know that I can wait on getting an engagement ring.  What's more important is that I'm with you and we start building a solid future together.  The ring can wait."
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from BannedAgainBoston. Show BannedAgainBoston's posts

    Re: To Ring or not to Ring (part deux)

    He should just save the Ring money for later, when she starts harping on him to complete projects.  More importantly when she starts her own project, that he ends up having to complete - then he can just pay someone to do it.

    Her: I want to wallpaper this room.
    Him: I don't have time.
    Her: I'll do it myself.
    Him: Ummm, OK (thinking this will be a disaster...)
    Her: What do I need to do first?
    Him: Strip off the old wallpaper.
    Her: OK, I'll start tonight!
    [Get a call on the cell while running some errands]
    Her: Are you busy?
    Him: Yes, you know that.  Plus, I'm in some really hectic traffic.  This can wait until later.
    Her: Well, anyway... I don't know how to do this, I need your help, what area of the wall do I need to strip first?
    Him: What?
    Her: I don't know where to start from.
    Him: What do you mean?
    Her: I need to know which wall to start on, and whether to start from the side/top/bottom.
    Him: Just strip the @#$&!!! wallpaper!!!
    Her: You always get mad at me when I start projects wrong.
    Him: This isn't a "project", it's demolition.  It doesn't matter how you destroy the old wallpaper!!!
    Her: Why are you yelling?
    Him: Why are you asking stupid questions when I'm busy?
    Her: Forget it, I'm not helping you on this project!
    Him: The "project" was YOUR idea!

    Nevermind saving the money for the projects, save the money for Busfare out of town... and to buy new black-market ID documents!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from redwolf68. Show redwolf68's posts

    Re: To Ring or not to Ring (part deux)

    I voted "No," but then I also think they need to cut back their expenses drastically.  While I was out of work for nearly a month, that's what my wife and I did - indeed, I sold off much of my personal CD collection for extra cash, and we liquidated the stock from our old business for that same purpose.  'Twas in this way that we got by this summer.  Now she's gone permanent with her job, I'm working again, we're current on the rent and catching up with the bills, so we can start to think about a few wants instead of just needs again.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from bzorn22. Show bzorn22's posts

    Re: To Ring or not to Ring (part deux)

    I mean I vote no. What if he hadn't thought at all about getting a ring. She seems like a passive aggressive personality who would make his life miserable. The man sounds like he is under much stress

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from diamondgirl. Show diamondgirl's posts

    Re: To Ring or not to Ring (part deux)

    Yeah, but you're a Yankee fan. 


    Seriously, though, you are right.  Being at half pay with a spendy girlfriend is HUGE stress for a guy.  I voted yes, not because I think they should budget for a ring, but because if she is letting flouncy resentment get the better of her, then this issue needs to be brought up ASAP.  How can they live together if they can't talk about important issues?

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from two-sheds. Show two-sheds's posts

    Re: To Ring or not to Ring (part deux)

    I voted "yes" because it's such an important part of their budget.  I agree that there's a risk that he hasn't been shopping for a ring, but it's clear that they (or at least she) are thinking about marriage.  They've even looked at rings, so bringing it up shouldn't be a surprise to him.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: To Ring or not to Ring (part deux)

    I do not understand why, in 2010, a woman waits around for a guy to propose - i.e. he presents the surprise ring with a flourish when he's good and ready to ask her.  Even after she's been waiting around/hinting/hoping for months or even years.  (duh!)

    The ring most definitely should be part of a number of discussions the couple has about their future together.  You would definitely want to talk about children, finances, religion, your families, future schooling, career plans, etc.  All these things should be well known way before there is contemplation of marriage.

    And, again, since it's 2010, I really don't get why the ring isn't an expense of both of theirs....or, if she gets a ring, why doesn't he get an HDTV or a Testarossa, or whatever is in relatively equal value to the ring.....

    Call me crazy, but I REALLY DON'T GET why a proposal should ever be a surprise.  Do you?

    (So yes, in answer to the poll question, the ring should be part of the discussion, but the discussion needs to be one of the series I listed above...)

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from PowerCord. Show PowerCord's posts

    Re: To Ring or not to Ring (part deux)

    I voted NO because I don't even think there is a ring.
    I think she is living in a fantasy world and the ring idea is all in her head.

    Here's their conversation as they walked throught the mall:

    Her:  Oooh look! What pretty rings they have in this store.

    Him:  Yeah, nice...let's go.  We're late for my dentist's appointment.

    Her: Can we just look for a second?

    Him: (sigh)  Alright, just make it quick.

    Her: OMG...look at that one in the middle! It's beautiful.

    Him: It's also $8,000.

    Her: You'd buy it for me because I'm special and you love me right?

    Him: Yeah, right....

    Her: You mean it?  You're the best boyfriend ever!

    Him: I can't believe I'm looking forward to going to the dentist....
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from HollyRoo. Show HollyRoo's posts

    Re: To Ring or not to Ring (part deux)

    In Response to Re: To Ring or not to Ring (part deux):
    [QUOTE]...since it's 2010, I really don't get why the ring isn't an expense of both of theirs....or, if she gets a ring, why doesn't he get an HDTV or a Testarossa, or whatever is in relatively equal value to the ring..... Posted by cosmogirl[/QUOTE]

    It amazes me that more people don't feel this way. My now-husband bought me a sparkly engagement ring, and I paid for our wedding bands. He spent not too much on the ring, and our bands are platinum, so it evened out financially. It was the only way I was comfortable with him buying me a sparkly ring.
     
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