As suggested by Life Lessons Learned...

I voted for "tell him after the fact" only because she wants to elope.  Otherwise, she should tell him when she's telling everyone else. 

And I'm of the mind that it's none of the ex's business.  Perhaps I'm in the minority, but if she really doesn't ever want to speak to him again, WHY bother telling him?  The house stuff can be dealt with through lawyers.  Otherwise she's just letting him continue to control her, IMO, if she feels she *has* to tell him.

im with Lwhitt

LW said herself, she doesnt care if she ever saw him again, so that goes for NOT telling him any of her biz going forward. if she's in the house, she needs to get the heck out and never contact him again if that's the way she truly feels about him. the house can be dealt with via lawyers.

they really owe eachother nothing. and not sure who's being more dramtic here as we only got one side, but i would cut the drama out by not contacting eachother again.
just BBB saying

She could just send him a text or an e-mail saying, "Hey, how are you?  The house looks nice.  The contractor is doing a fabulous job.  Oh, by the way, I got married last week.  Have a nice day.  TTYL."

In Response to Re: To tell or not to tell...:



This is exactly what my mother did when she and Dad divorced.  Other than my sister, who was a teenaged minor at the time of their divorce, and when house was eventually sold, she stopped ALL contact with my father.  Made her life so much easier.  Dad found out from us kids that Mom was getting remarried to my late stepfather 3 days after their divorce was final.  He made some cutting remarks (no surprise there as it was still a bit raw), but that was it. 

And the first face-to-face contact Mom and Dad had *after* the divorce was my brother's wedding to his first wife - about 3 years after their divorce.  Mom was anxious, but considering my stepfather was 6'4" and Dad is 5'9", and my brother told Dad if he acted up, ALL of my brother's friends would forcibly remove Dad from the premises, he behaved.

So even a$$hats can learn to be nice in certain situations.  :-)

No reason to tell at all.

Tell after. And get a lawyer to handle any remaining legal or financial entanglements.

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