Ignoranus (n): A person who is both stupid and an a55hole.
posted at 11/26/2012 2:42 PM EST
posted at 11/26/2012 3:31 PM EST
posted at 11/26/2012 5:28 PM EST
In response to 12-Angry-Men's comment:
Actually, a neologism contest.
The dictionary defines neologism as a noun referring to:
- A new word, expression, or usage.
- The creation or use of new words or senses.
Alternative meanings to existing words, winners:
- Coffee (n.): the person upon whom one coughs.
- Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much weight you have gained.
- Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
- Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while drunk.
- Willy-nilly (adj.): impotent.
- Negligent (adj.): describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
- Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.
- Gargoyle (n): olive-flavored mouthwash.
- Flatulence (n.): emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
- Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline.
- Testicle (n.): a humorous question on an exam.
- Rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. .
- Pokemon (n): a Rastafarian proctologist.
- Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
- Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
- Circumvent (n.): an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
New words created by changing a letter in existing words, winners
- Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
- Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
- Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
- Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
- Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
- Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
- Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.
- Karmageddon (n): it's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
- Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
- Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
- Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- Arachnoleptic fit (n..): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a55hole
posted at 11/27/2012 8:08 AM EST
Whoops, thought this was about the LWNJ'S.