Talk about awkward for both men! Obviously the optics of this are more important than either’s feelings for the other and so this bit of political theater is clearly aimed at sending a broader message about bipartisanship or something. That said, I can’t imagine beyond pleasantries these two have a great deal to say to one another on a personal level so lets help the boys out and come up with some nice conversation topics.
The old standby, and the refuge of those who clearly have no reason to speak to another person but for some reason must.
Obama: So…uhhhh, how is the winter settling in up north?
Romney: Mr President, it is still autumn, we’ve got a few weeks before its actually winter anywhere.
Obama: Yes, that is…what I mean to ask is, uhhhh….right.
Sports are a great way to establish rapport and even though two people may like different teams and sports typically there is some common ground to be found and if nothing else sports can easily chew up large chunks of time that would otherwise be spent fumbling around discussing inane topics like the weather.
Obama: So how do you think the Sox are going to rebuild for the next season? They have a lot of parts to replace
Romney: I was pretty busy the last couple of years so I didn’t follow much of the last season, especially with the Olympics in the summer.
Obama: Big Olympics guy, huh? After Salt Lake City you caught the bug?
Romney: Well, I have a stake in the games, my wife and I own a horse.
Obama: That’s right, so you are into equestrian events?
Romney: Something like that. Its actually called dressage, its sort of rhythmic dancing
Obama: Horse dancing?
A natural conversation for two politicos, but the potential for anger or resentment is high. Not recommended.
Obama: So about the election…
Romney: Seriously? No really?
Obama: The elephant in the room…
Romney: I got your elephant right here!
Romney: Just shut the **** up and eat your arugula salad you mom jean wearing, no baseball throwing, jerk.
Given that this is a private lunch, with no media, I would imagine the two men have a opportunity for candor they don’t typically have with these sorts of meetings. Discussing women in this context would seem natural.
Romney: Okay my turn. Michelle Bachmann, Sarah Palin, and Megyn Fox. Marry, F**K, Kill
Obama: That’s easy. Marry Megyn, F**K Michelle, and Kill Sarah
Romney: F**K Michelle? That’s crazy, you’re crazy
Obama: No seriously. Have you seen Sarah lately?
Romney: Mmm, good point. She’s got a meth chic thing going on.
Obama: Exactly. Now if we are talking Sarah from 2008 then that’s a different story. Alright my turn. Hillary Clinton, Elena Kagan, and Rachel Maddow. Marry, F**k, Kill
Romney: Christ, dude. Do you know how to play this game?