2nd child shower

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from downtoearth. Show downtoearth's posts

    2nd child shower

    skip the shower and simply get her a cute gift. If the babies are close in age, pool your money and get her a twin stroller. If not, just get her some great blankets and a cute outfit.

    second showers are really not expected.

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from rysmom. Show rysmom's posts

    2nd child shower

    Toys R Us has birthday registries. I am sure you could use that for a bat mitzvah.

    I can't tell you how many people are surprised when they ask if I have registered for my second child and I tell them no. Lot's of people have asked too.

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    2nd child shower

    Laryan, I am totally agreeing with you. All this showering thing is anAmerican thing, which now have crossed the oceans. In my home country,nothing - NOTHING - is bought for the baby before it's arrival. Butthen after the delivery, gifts come streaming in.
    My very good friend (here in this country) had a still born baby. Myhusband and I and a couple of other friends, went per request of herhusband - to their house and removed everything from the fully equippednursery. Everything got stored in a friend's basement. Talking aboutheartbreak here.
    After a couple of miscarriages she finally had their little wonder. Andthis time, she didn't even wanted to look at baby clothing, until thebaby was born. By the time she brought him home - all the storedfurniture and baby stuff was cleaned and washed and put back in thenursery, w/o her knowledge. Was she ever happy!
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    2nd child shower

    Cosmo, I am truly with you. I would feel very awkward to get an inviteand attending� a second or a third baby shower.� Most of uswill give presents to a newborn child, and we will know, that themother will have a lot of the things for the baby, she got for herfirstborn - and will accomodate our gifts accordingly.
    That said - my nephew just had twins� the second time around. Whatwould be a good gift for them??? Any twin mothers reading this???

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from beckjag. Show beckjag's posts

    2nd child shower

    I guess I'm in the minority, but I don't think a 2nd baby shower is necessarily tacky.� I was only "showered" by co-workers for each of my pregnancies (different groups of people), b/c I couldn't make it tactfully known that I didn't like surprises or surprise parties of any kind.� Why are only 1st babies celebrated with a shower?��It's not �the expectant mother throwing the party herself, so if her friends want to plan a party for her, why not? I wouldn't balk at attending a shower that was for a second child.Of course, I don't find baby showers to be the trial that a lot of women seem to.� Just my opinion.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from princess-cal. Show princess-cal's posts

    2nd child shower

    ��� I agree with the other posters that 2nd showers are tacky.� I give a gift to my friends when they have each baby anyway, as I think many people do, but a shower (other than the for the first child) is no appropriate, IMHO.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from rysmom. Show rysmom's posts

    2nd child shower

    Apparently there are lots of ideas on the internet for 2nd child showers/parties. My mom just informed me she is having a tea "sprinkle" for me. She is inviting about 15 people (all of whom would be likely giving the new baby gifts anyway). She is really excited that she is going to have a granddaughter. She also love to entertain so it's an excuse for a party! Besides, people love to buy baby things...especially my mom's friends who are all grandmother age. Yes, I know proper etiquette says my mom shouldn't be doing this for me but oh well. The smile on her face when she was telling me about it is worth breaking the rules for!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from blushingbride1. Show blushingbride1's posts

    2nd child shower

    Oh yes, I was very shocked when she said that she�felt gypped!� Just not what�I expected to hear after everything she received at her shower.And you are right, Dominican Republic is a very poor country...� When she explained this to me though, she referred to her dominican friends and family that live here in the states, that they have more than one baby shower.The shower itself is also very different.� I threw a daytime house shower for her, like a luncheon with sandwiches and finger food,�but she said most dominican showers are thrown at a hall at night.� The guests are both male and female, there's tons of food and dancing (salsa and meringue)�and the shower goes until late at night!� Again, another cultural difference?� Very different than�American culture!� :-)

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    2nd child shower

    i think it "depends on the circumstances"...now, before I get attacked, let me explain myself.� I have a couple of friends who� had babies "later" in life, and there is a significant age difference (10 to 10+� years) between�children....after a 10 year difference,�i'm sure that there are "no" baby items around the house, and they could probably benefit from a baby�shower.however i will say i'm not a�real big fan of baby showers.� i've seen�awful things happen where a mom-to-be has lost a baby right after the shower was held...and she had to return the gifts, etc.� nothing worse than a mom to be who lost a�baby.� (would rather see "the baby is here and�healthy so let's celebrate" shower)hth, and as always, just�my 2 cents.����������������������

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from blushingbride1. Show blushingbride1's posts

    2nd child shower

    That is a really nice story pingo!� That was so nice of you and your friends to do that for your friend when her baby arrived!

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from ingleterra. Show ingleterra's posts

    2nd child shower

    I think this must be a regional thing. Until I moved to the Northeast, I was invited to many, many 2nd (or 3rd, or 4th) baby showers. I only found out that it's not a common thing here when I had my second child and there was no second shower....

    Because parents usually get all the big stuff for the first baby, the second shower tends to include gifts of the disposable variety (diapers, onesies, etc.) and of the pampering variety (thoughtful gifts for mama, daddy, and older siblings).

    Wedding showers have moved away from their original intent (to set up a new household) and are now events to celebrate the couple. I think it's time that baby showers took on the same purpose. Babies are to be celebrated, whether they are the first or the tenth! :)
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from bell500. Show bell500's posts

    2nd child shower

    "you still need stuff" - ?! how about BUYING IT FOR YOURSELF - if you're old enough to have a baby you should be able to afford the sippy cups for him/her! come on. registering for shower after shower (wedding, baby, etc.) is getting out of hand, IMHO. what is next - a bat mitzvah registry? ;)

    (don't mean to offend, just felt like hearing myself talk. :) )

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from rysmom. Show rysmom's posts

    2nd child shower

    It's funny.� I am having 2 "showers" (that I know of) for my second baby.� Neither of which are being called showers.� One is family and very close friends.� The other is a group of women who didn't know me when I had my first.� I certainly appreciate that people want to celebrate my second baby.� I didn't expect either party.

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    2nd child shower

    Our nephew just had twins the second time around, so we gave them atwin stroller (they picked it out), because we knew they would needone. But that was a gift. - No shower was held, even though they coulduse twice as much as they already have from their first baby.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from culhasa. Show culhasa's posts

    2nd child shower

    I agree that you should not throw a "shower" for a second child....but maybe have a girl's luncheon or maybe a dessert party to celebrate the new ones arrival? Or maybe after the second child is born have something then so that your friend can get out of the house for a few hours?
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from blushingbride1. Show blushingbride1's posts

    2nd child shower

    Oh yes, in this case I agree with you laryan.� If someone has a child and then doesn't have another for 10+ years, then you're right, the circumstances are different and they should definitely have another shower.� I'm sure after 10 years they no longer have baby stuff around the house!I also give�my close friends and family gifts for each new baby they have.� Usually a few outfits, onsies and flowers.But if someone had a child and then had another one within 1-3 years�of the first and expected to have a 2nd baby shower....� Yeah I might think it's a bit tacky.

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from blushingbride1. Show blushingbride1's posts

    2nd child shower

    I agree with most of the posters on here that a 2nd or 3rd (!) baby shower is tacky.� I think mom's should have a baby shower for their 1st baby and that's it.� I agree with cosmo that new mom-to-be's need a baby shower b/c they need�a lot of stuff.� Most things can then be re-used for their 2nd or 3rd child.� However, 2nd or 3rd baby showers may be a cultural thing.� Two years ago, I threw a baby shower for my bestfriend who was expecting�twins.� My friend's nationality is Dominican, but she was born here in the U.S.� After her shower, she said to me that she felt 'gypped' b/c if she would have had her children separately, she would have had another shower and would have gotten more stuff...!� Yikes!� I was totally shocked when she said this and asked what she meant b/c showers were usually only given for the first born child.� She�said that in her culture, showers were thrown for each child that was born.� So�for Dominican woman, if you have 5 children, yes, you get 5 baby showers!��� I was totally floored by this...� Talk about culture shock!� It's not something I agree with, but if that's how it works in�her culture, then it's normal for her.� I mean, they must think it's weird that we only have 1 shower!� :-)

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    2nd child shower

    Hi blushing, I can surely understand you being shocked by your friend'sungreatful words. For you to give a shower for a friend, was mostgenerous.
    If showers are thrown so generously in her homeland, where were all her Domenican friends?
    I have been to the Domenican Republic, and It is one of the poorestplaces on earth. I just cannot imagine, people there give showers forevery baby born, they simply have nothing to give. Or maybe the showersare just a gathering to celebrate the baby coming w/o much giftgiving.Shame on your friend.

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from laryan. Show laryan's posts

    2nd child shower

    we also have a custom in my family...that is totally an "after the baby is here and healthy" thing.� Waterford Crystal has a�clock in the shape of a baby block.� The god parents of the new arrival buy it for them..to be put away...and is taken out and given to "the not so new arrival"�when they turn 21...*side note*...i also notice a difference between my friends born here vs. my friends born in other countries and came here during various stages of life.� the first observation of my friends born in other countries is "America is the land of greed and excess"....a couple of friends�have also gone so far as to send their children back to their native countries...mostly because of the "violence and gang issues" here...that are non existant in their native countries..�

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from ingleterra. Show ingleterra's posts

    2nd child shower

    Showers--just like all other customs---have regional differences. In the part of the South where I'm from, it's normal to have a shower for every baby, because the shower isn't just about accumulating stuff, it's about celebrating the impending arrival of the new baby. So, the first shower is where all the "hardware" is given, while at subsequent showers, gifts tend to be smaller (diapers, onesies, the kind of stuff you don't reuse from one baby to the next), or the gifts are for the mama (pampering bath gels, gift certificates for dinners out, "gift certificates" from friends for babysitting, etc.). The focus is on celebrating a new life and the mother who is bearing that new life. The gifts are part of the celebration, of course, but not the main focus.

    It seems pretty clear that the custom here is one shower for the first baby, and that's it. But I have to say, I was a little sad when there was no celebration for my second baby. I wasn't after a lot of presents--I just wanted my friends to celebrate the first one as much as the second one.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    2nd child shower

    The "first" baby gets a big shower because�that's when you need everything.� You use the same equipment for any additional kids to follow....I wouldn't appreciate an invite to a shower for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 5th child.� When does it end?**Close friends and family will give a gift to all new babies anyway, at birth, at the christening, etc.� I don't think there's anything wrong if the mom-to-be's sister or close friends want to have a little party for her, but I'd avoid calling it a shower.� (**Similar to having a bridal shower for your 2nd, 3rd, and 4th marriage, I guess.)�

     
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