Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

    Normally a MIL would be the perfect person to ask about this kind of thng. Unfortunately my MIL is completely clueless about these things. I even asked DH if he thought she would know what to do and he said "i doubt it."

    I think I'm leaning toward inviting MIL and DH's grandmother and leaving it at that. It will be obvious to most people that those invites are formalities given the distance and people certainly won't look at those as gift-grubbing invites. I'm sure DH's grandmother will speak up if a faux pas has been committed by not inviting the aunts, but I think it should be pretty obvious they weren't invited because of geography.

    I'll sleep on it and see what my mother thinks. Thanks for the advice everyone!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from rysmom. Show rysmom's posts

    Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

    My thought is all or nothing. But you could ask your mother-in-law and see what she thinks.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from BellyB. Show BellyB's posts

    Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

    I had a very similair problem. My DH and I had a "destination wedding", so there was no bridal shower. I also was puzzled at who to invite when it came time for the Baby shower. Much of my DH's family does live around here. My family however, is spread all over the country. I decided not to invite out-of-towners, from either side, with the exception of my Mom and sister. As far as I know, there were no hurt feelings.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

    I'm not one to invite "out of towners" to baby showers - with the exception of your MIL of course. You know they're not coming from the Midwest, so to me it looks like a gift grab. I'm sure they will send you something when the baby is born anyway.
    But - we know all families are different. I think the smartest thing to do is check with your MIL.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

    That wasn't my question, but thank you for your opinion.

    You might also want to note the "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all" etiquette and not giving unsolicited advice etiquette....
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Red1977. Show Red1977's posts

    Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

    Bell, I think you're right in the traditional sense, but nowadays it's much more common to have a family member, especially a mom, throw a baby shower. Maybe it's because they tend to have more disposable income than our friends . . . I've been to lots of baby showers that were "hosted" by mom or MILs.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Daisy75. Show Daisy75's posts

    Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

    Sorry this is a little long....

    My mother recently asked me for a list of people to invite to my baby shower. I didn't have a bridal shower, so I'm pretty much clueless as to who should be invited to showers in general.

    All of my husband's family lives in the Midwest and I highly doubt any of them, including my mother-in-law, will be able to come. Of course, I'll invite my mother-in-law and DH's grandmother anyway, but I'm not sure what to do about his aunts. I have met 2 of them (my father-in-law's sisters) a couple of times, and the other (my father-in-law's sister-in-law) I've never met. The ones I've met are great and if they lived nearby, I'm sure they'd make an effort to come, so I feel like I should invite them--even if only as a formality. I feel a little strange inviting the 3rd aunt since I've never met her but on the other hand, I feel like it would be rude not to--esp. if I invite the other 2 aunts.

    My number one concern is that I want to do what's polite. I would be happy if any of these people decided to come, but I 100% understand that they probably won't and I would be shocked if any of them did come. My secondary concern, is that in an effort to be polite and inclusive that it will come off as gift-grubbing instead.

    So I see 3 options:
    1. Don't invite any of the aunts
    2. Only invite the 2 aunts I've met
    3. Invite all 3 aunts

    Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated!!! TIA!
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from bell500. Show bell500's posts

    Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

    I thought you were looking for etiquette advice, so I shared mine. Sorry that you didn't like it.

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from onecoolchick. Show onecoolchick's posts

    Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

    I agree with ryan'smom I think it's all or nothing. Just because you sent and invited doesn't mean they have to come. They do have the option to decline.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Red1977. Show Red1977's posts

    Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

    Let's be friendly ladies.

    The title of the post did say "etiquette" and I didn't think there was anything rude about Bell's response. Moreover, given this is a public board, anyone can respond, even if doesn't directly answer the original question.

    I'm truly fascinated by etiquette and think it's important. But I also think it's important to realize that "etiquette" is often really just a reflection of social norms. For example, it used to be "polite" for men and women to spit their tobacco in spitoons (sp?). Not so anymore! So etiquette can change and I think mothers-throwing-baby-showers etiquette has changed too. Though, I think it's still holding on a bit in the world of wedding shower etiquette. Not sure about that.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from onecoolchick. Show onecoolchick's posts

    Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

    Bell technically you are correct but I think that's an old school line of thinking. I never understood why it would be gift grubby if your mother or sister throws it, and not if your friend does. What is the difference? Personally, it has never crossed my mind at any shower I have ever attended.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from bell500. Show bell500's posts

    Baby Shower Invitation Etiquette

    If you want to be polite, don't let your mother throw you a baby shower. In traditional etiquette it's considered "gift grubby" for your mother or MIL for that matter to throw you a shower. Sorry!
     

Share